You and Me
by Christie Hart
Summary: Edward has everything; fame, fortune, a family...and a past which left him as a single father. Bella's trying everything to get through her pain, but getting famous, and more importantly falling in love with Edward, wasn't how she planned on doing it.
1. Chapter 1

Well hello there readers. If you're coming back to this and you notice it looks a bit different, then I must say you are very observant. I am in the process of editing my story, and so will be re-posting chapters. Don't worry, the story line is the same, however I might have added a few more words here and there, and tried my best to correct grammar. As well as this, I moved my shout outs to the bottom of the story because still appreciate the support I got from those reviewers (as well as my others) and still want them here. If you're new, than welcome! As a special treat to my faithful readers, I've also added an epilogue. Enjoy!

**Extended Summary: Bella is depressed and suffering after the death of her best friend Jacob Black. What happens when the troubled, single father and lead singer of a famous band saves her from killing herself? How will Bella fit in his world, and most importantly, will she want to? Or will the pain and loss she's accumulated over the years stop her from ever being happy?**

Disclaimer: We all know I don't own them.

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You and Me: Chapter 1  
"_What day is it? And in what month?"_

We walked in the line, treading to the beat of our dead, this mournful song being the only song I have never wanted to and will never sing. Her dead body was beside me, moving yet all the same still. She would never move again, and yet, here she was traveling to her grave. _You don't love her Edward,_

I looked down to the small face attached to the hand that wrapped around my finger. _I love him, and he is a part of her. I used to love her, before she gave me him. _

I wanted to be anywhere but here. Tanya was dead, she had killed herself and I wanted no more to do with her. As cold and heartless as it sounded, I had said goodbye to her already the second she walked out of Auden and mine's lives.

"Edward," one of my best friends and band mate Jasper walked loyally beside me, "Are you alright?"

I nodded, and surveyed my boys face, "He looks unhappy, do you think he realizes-"

"He's three Edward. He can't fully grasp the concept of death. I think…I think he's sad because he realizes you're sad. Not because his mother is lying in the casket beside him. As far as he's concerned, his mother left months ago because she 'had something very important to do and couldn't stay with him anymore."

I nodded, Jasper had a point. Tanya had been gone months prior to her death and so her sudden drop off the face of the Earth made no difference to him…or me.

Wanting this to be over with I stared at the sky while marching, trying to find the meaning of life in the clouds. I wanted to find the meaning for _my _life in this sky and all it gave me was the grey, dismal hue of Forks, Washington.

Still trying to decipher the enigma, my eye caught site of a figure. This would not have alarmed me, if this figure wasn't on the top of the three story church building. _Is she going to jump? _

"Jasper hold Auden," I quickly lifted and placed my boy in Jaspers arms and took off running in the direction of the church.

Three million thoughts flew through my head in that one moment; who was she? Why was she doing this? Could I help her? Could I _stop _her? From my spot at the door I could see her surveying the drop before her. Good, she was indecisive which left room for convincing. I'd have to do just that- convince her to keep her life.

Not bothering to wait for the elevator, I traveled up, three- no four steps at a time. I reached the third floor, wondering how the hell she reached on the roof. I spotted a ladder leading to a shaft in the ceiling. Bingo. I didn't care about the tear evident in my $300 pants all I wanted to do was save her and nothing was going to stop me. You know, unless she jumped; that and my fear of heights.

I sucked in deep breaths as I walked across the top of the building to where she stood. God forbid I yell stop and scare her so that she falls over- I'd have to kill myself alongside her.

Going steadily I finally reached behind her undetected due to the harsh wind of Forks. Her whispers carried in the air current, tormenting my ears at the suffering the words were saturated with.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry God, I can't take this anymore. I'm dying here on Earth in this suffering and pain. Let me be with you after I die. Forgive me. I'm so sorry." She sobbed and murmured this repeatedly. It stunned me for a moment- what did she go through?

Feeling I had played with time long enough I hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her back from the ledge. She didn't fight or protest; she merely stared at me with blank, expressionless, doe brown eyes. Her features struck me as intriguing. In my book she wasn't beautiful but I knew she wasn't ugly. She had big eyes, a cute nose with a spackle of freckles painted across it, contrasting greatly with the paleness of her skin. Her face was gaunt and lifeless, the hollows of her eyes telling tales of sleepless nights as her small chapped but rounded lips were pulled into slight permanent frown. She seemed oddly familiar. Most likely we had met before, both coming from such a small town. I wouldn't be surprised if we attended high school together.

Before any questioning or talking would take place I carried her far away from the edge of the building in case she tried to pull a running and diving stunt. Somehow, I managed to take her down the ladder with her awkwardly positioned on my back. Once safely inside and the latch closed, I set her on her feet and waited for something…anything to happen.

A gut wrenching scream came from her as she fell onto me sobbing. I placed my arms around her and sunk with her to the ground, pulling her into me. I didn't know for how long we sat, but I didn't care. All I knew was that this morning I had woken up and was a broken young adult searching for the meaning of my life in the sky, and now I was still a broken young adult holding what I thought was part of my meaning, in my arms.

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Thank you for reading!  
~Christie Hart


	2. Chapter 2

You and Me: Chapter 2  
"_This clock never seemed so alive"_

I sat for what seemed like forever, staring up at my hero's face. Was he really my hero? I was stuck in emotional limbo, half hating the face that he had deprived me of the only peace I could achieve. The other half of me loathes myself more than I had before. My hands went instinctively over my heart; as much as this pain was I couldn't believe I wanted to take my life away.

I traced his face, mesmerized in how beautiful he was. He seemed familiar- I knew I had seen his face before but where? There were his shocking green eyes that seemed dull with boredom and bags underneath, clouding their beauty. His lips were small and pink, and cheekbones were high and defined. I wanted to reach up to see how those disheveled bronze locks felt.

_ Bronze locks…_Signature _bronze _locks. Edward Cullen. The famous Edward Cullen of the band Hour Glass Shot was here, holding me and I had no idea why. All I know is that for once, I could feel something stir within me, and I wasn't sure if I was enjoying it. I didn't know how to enjoy anything anymore. Not since Jacob died.

I had mourned, and I had cried when each of my parents passed away, and when Jacob came along and pieced me back together I was able to move on in a way. I always knew I never loved Jacob as more than a friend, but I tried to make myself seeing as he loved me. Jacob was always there and he never once forced me to do anything or feel anything. However, I was done feeling grief and for once wanted to take a try at happiness. So I dated him, and I can admit that I did feel some physical attraction. Then again Jacob was a more than attractive boy and I would be stupid _not _to feel something when he touched me. Then one night came that I knew Jacob wanted more, and I wanted…to give him more, and I did. It was wonderful in a sense…physically I guess- but it wasn't right. I didn't love him, and didn't love being with him.

Jacob died in a cliff diving accident. It was no secret that it was a common recreational sport so no one had reason to believe it was suicide. Coroners say he must have gotten dragged out in a storm which was why his body had been found several days after he initially went missing. The funeral held at the La Push Reservation had been one of the darkest events of my life. It seemed that everything involving Jacob's death caused me some type of grief. It was over a year later, and I was still scared of storms.

For the first few days I had gone through all stages of depression. I was sad, I was angry, I was sad and angry, and then I was just plain pissed. Then emotionless settled in and stayed for months. It wasn't until this morning that I decided I couldn't go on anymore. I couldn't live on knowing my best friend was gone and everyone I loved was dead _and_ gone. So, based on a very rash decision, I unwillingly got out of bed and ended up standing on top of the church building. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if I would jump even though I repeated my mantra, apologizing to God. All I knew was that I was in an unbreakable pain and I wanted more than anything for it to be gone.

It was for this reason that I was slightly thankful for Edward saving me. I could have done something that I didn't want to do. I groaned; I didn't even know what I was thinking. I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know who I was anymore.

"Excuse me," a rough, deep voice said. I felt the vibrations from the chest holding me. I made the connection that the man holding me was the one talking. Things processed slowing in my mind nowadays. "I _really _want to help you miss. But my dead wife is down stairs and my best friend is taking care of my son and I don't want to be there but I have obligations I need to fulfill as awful as that sounds seeing as I just called my wives funeral an obligation-"

"It's ok, Edward," I croaked, "I'm fine."

"Obviously not," Edward raised a brow, "You were about to jump off a four story building."

"I was contemplating," I corrected.

"Which still says something about your mental health," he murmured, "…you know who I am."

"Who doesn't," I laughed without humor, "To what do I owe this honor, sitting in the arms of famous lead singer, Edward Cullen?"

"I was in the funeral procession and I saw you on the top of the church."

For once in the longest while, blood flooded to my cheeks, "I'm keeping you from your wife's funeral."

"I'd rather be here," he grumbled.

I held some bitterness in my tone, "Thanks."

"I didn't mean it like that," Edward sighed, "I just meant I don't want to be there. Me and my wife had…issues and let's say it didn't end well before she died."

"Tanya Denali," I remembered, "Didn't she drop out your band or something."

"Yah," he chuckled, "Something like that, used to be the lead singer with me. She also dropped off the face of the Earth after overdosing on Heroin. Left me and my child –I have _no _idea why I'm telling you this."

I felt a pain in my heart as I thought of how similar Edward and mines situations were. The sad thing was that I know our worlds are completely different.

"It's ok, I won't sell you out to the Paparazzi or anything," I pulled away from his arms gently, squeezing his hand as a thank you.

"That didn't even occur to me," Edward shook his head, "Thank you."

"You can't possibly be thanking me," I scoffed, "You saved my life."

He laughed, "Anytime. I need to go find my son. You're not going to pull a fast one while I'm gone are you?"

"Of course not," I stood with him and went to leave, "Goodbye, Edward, take care."

"You too," he smiled and then traveled down the stairs, leaving me alone and feeling more broken than before. The only thing was that this time I didn't have Jacob to pick me up again.

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Thanks for reading!  
~Christie Hart


	3. Chapter 3

You and Me: Chapter 3  
"_I can't keep up and I can't back down"_

We stood looking over the hole in which Tanya was now laying. I could feel the speculative gazes, raping me of my privacy. Everyone was looking to see the tears that would not be shed. It wasn't worth it anymore; _she _wasn't worth it anymore. Thankfully the reporters in Forks had the decency to leave us at the funeral or else I wouldn't have heard the end of my apparent 'passive' attitude towards her death. The Hollywood paparazzi had already got that down pat.

"Where the hell were you? Auden wouldn't stop asking me where you went," Jasper whispered.

"I had to have bathroom break," I lied.

"You left in the middle of the procession to take a piss I _know _you didn't need to take?"

"What, do you have my peeing schedule or something? Maybe I did need to piss," I glared at him, "Let it go."

"This isn't over," he turned back and dutifully went to sprinkle dirt over her casket.

Finally it was my turn to sprinkle some of the dirt onto her grave. I would do it but it would mean nothing to me. The only reason I'd do it is because other people are watching and there isn't any need to cause commotion. As I stood over her not yet lowered casket I leaned down and placed a kiss on it, holding my face close enough so that no else could hear. This was my closure between Tanya and me and there was no need for anyone else to be a part of it.

"You were an angel to me," I murmured to the corpse in the box, "but I hope you go to hell for leaving our child."

Feeling I had said enough I grabbed some of the dirt and sprinkled it over the casket, hoping this was the last time I ever came to face with Tanya's grave. It was done. We were finally through.

"Are you ok, Edward," my sister Alice appeared beside me. She still seemed like my little sister especially with her petite size and childish ways. But in truth she was a woman, married to Jasper and acting as if she needed to take care of me.

"I'm fine, Ally," I gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, "How are you holding up."

"Edward, I've told you many times before, Tanya and I ceased to be friends long before she even passed," Alice glared at me, "She was nothing to me."

I nodded, still holding her hand with the one that wasn't occupied with Auden's. I looked down at him, checking him once again for the millionth time. I couldn't get over what must be going through his mind. I hoped it wasn't something remotely serious due to our settings. Auden was such and energetic- sometimes _too _energetic- boy, and now that he was so quiet I wondered if he was running a temperature. It wasn't my fault for fawning. He was my child, and I was all he had as a parent. I was meant to take away all the troubles and protect him from it all.

"Are you ok, buddy," I bent down to his level to squeeze his stomach playfully

He had a small smile on his face as he reached up to stroke my face, "Tired."

Although Auden was energetic and sometimes a brat in the fussing department he didn't use many words. The words he did use were slurred or mispronounced; something that worried me. We had checked with the doctors to see if he had hearing issues or whether he had a learning disability but they assured us that he was perfectly healthy. They assumed it was because he was still learning, or could possibly have a speech impediment. That didn't bother me, but I hoped that he would grow out of it seeing as he was only three.

"Are you," I lifted him up, and shifted him so that he was comfortably in my arms, "Alright. Take a nap if you want."

He yawned and placed his small head on my shoulder. I could feel his strawberry blonde curls against my cheek as he rested, and it was one of the most comfortable feelings I could ever have. It told me that he was here and safe with me. Auden took a lot of characteristics from his mother. The round, pink cheeks, tall height as well as the strawberry blonde curls were all Tanya's. He was left with my green eyes and so far that was all that I could see that was from me.

"Edward, we're all heading back to the reception, now," Alice informed me.

"Where is Emmett and Rosalie," I asked Alice.

"They're already at the church," she responded, "People have been there for a while. You've just been standing here for quite some time."

I looked around to see the area empty, Tanya's casket still left unburied and only Jasper and Alice still beside me. I must have spaced out.

"Are you sure you're ok," Jasper asked.

I glared, "If anyone else asks me that, I'll have to strangle someone. Come on, let's go find Rose and Em." I was in deep need for my brother and the antics of his wife.

We had all met when we were in 6th grade, Emmett and Alice being my siblings, and Rosalie being Jasper's twin. The band had started off as fun in ninth grade, just something to pass our time. Jasper and I would pick out the guitars and Emmett would accompany us on the drums while I sang lead and Jasper was back up. Rose and Alice served as our critics and gave us their honest opinions- not all good but generally it was nice feedback. Then Tanya, my first girlfriend came along, and she became a singer with me. It was after our first gig at a local competition that we were recognized. We were soon asked to play at parties for our first few months, and then clubs once we were older. It was when we were sixteen that a small name record producer took interest in us, and that same year our band took off nationally. It was also this same year that I impregnated my two year at the time girlfriend.

She was fine at first, accepting motherhood despite her earlier mishap with drug abuse, but had assured me that she was clean. We were in love, and nothing mattered to me except taking care of my child _with _her. After Auden was born, she stuck around for about a year and a half, but I could tell she wasn't really there. She became more aggressive to the point I had to make sure she wasn't anywhere near him. I think she stayed for so long because of the fame we had in spite of our drama. The pressure had taken its toll on her, and so she left the band and our baby. I couldn't' care less that I'd been left behind, I'd already stopped loving her at that point. I was so young, so easy to fall into love, and so easy to fall out. Another year and a half later and I was still a young adult, still figuring out single parenthood. Tanya was found a few weeks ago, in a hotel room, lifeless after overdosing on Heroin.

It was a given that we would put a hold on the band until further notice. We had more than enough money to support us until we came out with a few more hits, and none of us were in the condition to perform. Tanya had once been something to all of us and now we were all left in the commotion of her leaving. There were a number of things contributing to this uneasiness; Paparazzi, confusion over our grief, and the harsh reality that anyone of us at any moment could end up like Tanya. We were all family, and we stuck by each other no matter what –and right now we needed each other more than ever. I needed them more than ever.

The saying 'it takes a community to raise a child' fell into place here; whether we were biologically related to Auden or not, we still were able to take care of him and support him. Although I still kept in mind that he was mychild and they were not meant to keep the responsibility of him. I didn't want to be a burden on them, but they were always there to make any of my burdens lighter.

As we ate in the church and I held Auden close to me, I pictured that same intriguing face with endless brown eyes. I wondered if she had reached home safely. Did her parents know of her distress? She was so young…younger than me. What could have possibly driven her to the point of suicide?

Even though I warned I would commit homicide, I was still asked by my friends of my current mental state. Eventually I began ignoring them, which I admit was a bastard move on my half but I had asked them –kindly the first time, to stop annoying me.

I tuned them out and leaned back, mimicking the sleeping state of my son and wondered about the mysterious girl that was on top of this building earlier. There was something about her that seemed devastatingly familiar, but I couldn't place a name to the face. All I knew was that I would find out who she was because I knew if I didn't it would bother me for a considerable amount of my existence.

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Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	4. Chapter 4

You and Me: Chapter 4  
"_I've been losing so much time"_

"Bella, we need kabobs," James rang. Stupid James and his stupid bell and this stupid restaurant...Each day that passed by I put an ex on my mental calendar, counting down the time until I would become twenty-one, and I would own this place. I still had over three years to go. Until then, I was under his guardianship; his stupid guardianship.

So here I was in the kitchen, flipping the fifteenth steak in the past hour, and wanting to die from the grease that must be layered on my face. I couldn't believe the amount of prestigious people passing through Forks that bothered to eat at this high end restaurant. _Swans _had been reviewed as the most elegant and spectacular restaurant in Forks, and we had served our share of celebrities who were passing through. On the bright side this let me cook food that had quality instead of flipping burgers down at McDonalds. That place made it hard to believe you couldn't go into cardiac arrest via inhaling the fat.

I didn't know what James was bitching about. I was already the most efficient cook he had here who couldn't even get better pay because I was related to him. I swore if I didn't eventually kill myself first, I'd take him down.

"Bella, is it alright if I played my iPod on the speakers," Angela asked.

"Go ahead," I plastered a smile. She nodded and head over to the speakers I had convinced James to allow into the kitchen. _As long as you don't spit in my food, _he'd grumbled.

Angela was kind and didn't get into my business which was highly appreciated. It was those two characteristics that mad her slightly more than tolerable in my books. Under any other circumstances I could have seen us as friends. She had graduated in my class, and since they were taking interns this summer in the kitchen, I offered to be her advisor. The amount of talent she possessed was inspiring, and I could see her working full time here one day.

The Maine's, _You Left Me, _blasted through the speakers as the younger and even older staff jigged around at their stations.

"Ok, everyone, the music is good, just don't let it affect your food," I warned. A few people laughed in the background.

_Oh, you left me with nothing but a kiss__…__And now I'm leaving you with these lips_

I found myself singing along to the music, something I hadn't done it a while. It was one of the small things that reminded me that it was time for me to heal, and return to my former life –whatever that had been. Ever since my attempt at suicide around a week ago, I made the decision to let go and move on. It would be a hard road, but I couldn't live waiting on Jacob when I knew for a _fact_ he wouldn't come back. Jake wouldn't want me to be willowing away when he was so full of life. I had prayed and prayed for the strength, and I knew that it would take time, but I would begin to let go of Jacob. Not forget him, but live without him. I knew that for now I wasn't even close to starting.

There was an eerie silence in the kitchen besides the music playing. I turned to see everyone halted at their stations.

"What," I asked. _Something better not burn._

"You sing amazingly," Angela stuttered before turning back to her food as did the rest of the staff.

I muttered a soft thank you before crawling into my shell. With my face flushed, I returned to the grill, singing much more softly to myself.

**Edward's Point of View**

It had been a week and I still haven't found her.

I wouldn't call it a sick obsession, but it was bordering on that. I had gone to almost every local High School in the area, asking for their year books and spent nights religiously looking through them. I made stops at local bars and grocery stores and even traveled to a few stores in Port Angeles a few days, hoping to 'run' into her. What was I planning to do once I met her? I didn't particularly know. All I knew was that when I found her, I'd immediately ask her for her name.

"Eddie, we're heading to the restaurant, you up man?" Emmett knocked loudly and obnoxiously on my door. Come to think of it, Emmett did a lot of things loudly and obnoxiously.

I groaned, "You're such an ass."

"I'm not the one who left in the middle of a funeral…" he called, "Get out here, we're leaving."

"Hold on, Auden's still sleeping."

I watched his small face for a few moments before reaching over and gently shaking his arm.

"Hey buddy," I smiled as his sleepy eyes dragged open, "We're going out to eat kid, wake up."

"No," he mumbled and rolled over. Even from an early age he demonstrated my exact attitude when waking up, "Sleep."

"Sorry," I picked him up, "Have to go."

As he whined endlessly in my shoulder, I grabbed our 'Auden bag' and exited the hotel room.

"Auden, remember what Auntie Alice said about whining," Alice cooed, "It's not good."

"I'm tired," he kicked his feet around.

"Alice, please, not now, he's kicking me," I sighed.

"No, he needs to learn, if you don't discipline him Edward he's going to be a brat," Alice raised an eyebrow, "Like you were."

"Not now, Alice," I gritted.

She huffed and walked ahead with the others as Auden continued fussing. I knew my child had a bit of discipline problems, but unfortunately, I was an enabler. When it came to his health I was stern, but otherwise I didn't want Auden to ever be angry at me.

We pulled up to _Swans, _and exited the limo. It wasn't my choice to come here, but Alice and Rosalie had argued that it was respectable to make an appearance at the most noted restaurant in Forks.

The interior was quite charming. The walls were painted in a warm plum color, and the tables sported white table cloths with…purplegardenias. The restaurant was barely full due to Alice asking for privacy tonight. The owner had assured us that there would be no paparazzi, and that the diners were asked not to disturb us. I honestly didn't mind, as long as they didn't become a nuisance. I didn't flatter myself by thinking they would automatically want our attention. Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper fit into chairs at the other side of the booth while Auden and I shared the seating opposite of them.

Auden tugged at my pants legs before he looked up at me, "I'm hungry."

"Well, Auden, the food has to be made."

For a moment he was silent, and then to Alice, "I'm hungry."

"You heard what your father said," Alice raised a brow and then ignored him.

A kind looking, middle aged woman showed up at our table, uniformed in a black skirt and plum top. She handed us our menus as she spoke, "Hi, I'm Nessie, I'll be your waitress tonight. Welcome to _Swan, _where we hope to meet your needs as _gracefully_ as we can. What would you like?"

"Food," Auden demanded.

I laughed, "I'm sorry, it's been a long day for him."

"Well here sweetie," she smiled and pulled out a small paper from her note book. She reached into her back pocket, grabbed a small box of crayons, and then laid the items in front of Auden. His face brightened immediately with the sight of them.

"Daddy," he smiled, his voice high with excitement, "Colors!"

"I know," I chuckled, "Use them."

"Auden," Rosalie said, "What do you say to the nice woman?"

"Thanks," he muttered, already engrossed with his picture.

"Thank you," I smiled at her.

"No problem," she smiled back, "Alright folks, what can I bring for you?"

"I want everything," Emmett was practically drooling at the menu, "Can I Rose, please?"

"Perhaps," Jasper intervened, "We can have some pot stickers, garlic bread, and some of your beef crumpets for starters."

"Of course," she wrote down, "Our chef's special is lamb kabobs," she leaned down and stage whispered cheekily, "She's only seventeen but her food is to _die _for. I highly recommend them."

"Rosie, _please,_" Emmett squirmed in his seat, clasping his hands together, "Please can I have some."

"Fine, Emmett," she rolled her eyes, "He's such a big baby. Can we please have three servings of the lamb kabobs on one plate please?"

"Sure thing, honey, but there are six kabobs in one serving…"

"Ma'am, my boyfriend can eat out your restaurant," Rosalie smiled, "Trust me."

"Alright then, I'll tell our chef to take the biggest picks."

"I like her," Emmett's eyes widened, "A lot."

"What would you like for your drinks?" she asked.

"Could we have two bottles of chardonnay and five glasses please," Jasper asked.

"Of course," she scribbled on her pad and then leaned down to Auden, "What about you, darling?"

"Apple juice," he barely managed to say. I saw how focused he was on outlining all his pictures before carefully coloring them in. _He got his neatness from Tanya. _

"Auden," Alice kicked me under the table, "What do you say?"

"Please and thank you," he added. Ah, that's my boy.

"Alright, would you like to order your mean now or should I get it when I return with your appetizers?"

"We'll see how we feel afterwards," Jasper answered, "Thank you, Nessie."

"You're more then welcome," she smiled warmly; "I'll be back shortly."

"Why aren't people like that in Hollywood," I asked, "genuinely nice?"

"Because its competition there," Rosalie muttered, "there isn't time to care for your wellbeing."

"_Oh, you left me with a broken heart__  
__And now I see you as I should of from the start"__  
_

"Wait, sh, do you guys here that," I stopped their conversation, "that singing."

"_Oh, you left me with nothing but a kiss__  
__And now I'm leaving you with these lips" _

Jasper muttered, "I wonder who that is. She has promising potential."

Emmett leaned forward, "Ask Nessie when she gets back here."

"No, I can't do that," I shook my head, "Alice, you do it- you're straightforward and don't care for personal boundaries. You'll have no problem."

Alice glared, "Despite your rude, _false, _descriptions of me, I'll do it. But we're not asking her to join. Didn't we agree that Edward would stay as the single lead singer?"

"Yes, but that was _before _we heard whoever that is, sing," Emmett wiggled his brow.

"By including her in the band you're inviting another woman into our lives. The paparazzi will love that there's another female in the group right after Tanya keeled over. I can see the titles now, 'Callous band members celebrate death of former wife/mother via replacement!" Rosalie barked.

A man showed up and placed our drinks down. The conversation stopped as we exchanged pleasantries with the waiter. Once he was gone, we dived back into the topic.

"If she's a bitch we won't let her in," Alice said, "she'll just have to audition for the spot."

"But we know she can sing," Emmett argued, "You heard her."

"But we don't know her," Rosalie reminded him, "We should interview her. She'll be coming on the road with us _if _she is let in."

"When," Jasper interjected, "Pray tell, are we going to do this when we are leaving at three pm tomorrow?"

We were all silent. Jasper continued, "We can't miss that flight, we have to meet with the record company to discuss the tour next year."

"Don't fuss so much Jazzy," Alice tapped her nose, "We'll audition her tonight, interview her, make our decision, tell her and give her tomorrow to pack."

"Assuming she says yes," Jasper said.

"Assuming _we _say yes," Rosalie muttered.

"This could take hours," I informed them.

"The only one here who has a bedtime here is Auden, Edward, unless you're _tired?" _Alice teased.

"Shut up," I grumbled.

This time it was Rosalie to deliver the kick to my shin, "What?"

"You're language," she growled, "Watch it."

"Humph," I groused. "Whatever."

A few minutes later we were met with our appetizers, Nessie, smiling (I don't think she ever stops) as she laid them down. She stood by our table,

"I'm sorry," she giggled like a little girl, "I just _have _to see one of yall's reactions as you take a bite."

"I volunteer," Emmett shot up his hand and then grabbed a kabob. I could almost drool as I saw his teeth sink into the tender meat. Emmett groaned and practically rolled over as he swallowed, "I'm having a food-gasm."

"Emmett!" Rosalie squealed, "I'm so sorry-"

"I told you so," Nessie poked him with her pencil playfully, "to _die _for."

"We need to meet the chef," he said, mouth full, "like, now."

"No," Alice calmed him, "Nessie, we were wondering if you could ask for the woman who was singing before?"

"You're in luck," Nessie smiled as if she knew something we didn't, "The chef _is _the woman who was singing. I'll bring her in just a moment after I take your orders."

Eager to meet the mystery girl we relayed our orders to her. Emmett was going on and on about how she had to come with us because she's the only one out of us that could cook. Rosalie was currently giving him a glare about the food comment, while Alice was bouncing in her seat with excitement, and Jasper was whispering in her ear to calm her down. Auden, still oblivious to all of this, was scribbling away contentedly at his picture. Me? My eyes were now focused on the intriguing, but familiar face of the girl walking towards us. I was sucked into her brown doe eyes that I had seen before and at once was a prisoner to her gaze. This was her. This was the girl I had been obsessing over. This was my mystery girl, and now, here she was, about to become a major addition to my life.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	5. Chapter 5

You and Me: Chapter 5  
"_Cause it's you and me and all of the people"_

"Oh Bella," Nessie rested in the path of the kitchen's exit doorway, smiling cheekily. Oh Lord almighty.

"No," I stomped my foot, a very childish reaction, but still. I knew what was coming; "I'm not going out there. It's so horridly embarrassing every time someone wants to meet the chef."

"Honey," she said, "I've watched you wasting away and putting your heart into your cooking. Take some of the praise and treat yourself for once."

_Treat myself for once…._

"Ok," I whispered, "Ok, I'm going out there. Angela- can you take over my station."

Her eyes lit up, "Your station? Really- I can plate too?"

"Of course," a small smile tried desperately to tug at my lips but it couldn't break through, "I trust you alone, go ahead."

I passed her my apron and hat, "I'll be back in a few minutes ok?"

She nodded excitedly as she placed them on. I couldn't help, but feel flattered that she was so eager to step into my apron. As we were about to walk out, Nessie stopped me and attacked my face. Against my wishes, she slathered my lips with some lipstick and lip gloss, passed her fingers through my hair, applied some powder all over my forehead (my guess was that it was practically a reflector from the grease in the kitchen) and sprayed some of her perfume on me. I was practically dying from a coughing fit when she pushed me out of the kitchen. By the time I reached close to the table I was sure my cheeks were bright red.

I shut my eyes took a deep breath and stepped out in front of the table,

"Hi, I'm the main chef here, Isabella Swan; I hope the food is to your –_Edward?" _

"Do you two know each other," the woman I recognized as Alice Whitlock, said, "How?"

I didn't think it was possible but I could feel my face heat more, "Edward…helped me through a hard time the other day…"

"Did you guys have sex? Because this could become very awkward," Alice asked.

"No," I spluttered, "Not at all! H-he…I was just- and then, no,"

"Alice," Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, "You can't just ask her that. And no we did not have sex."

"How was I supposed to know-"

"I'm sorry, was there anything you needed so that I can, you know…not be here anymore," I muttered, way past embarrassed. I felt like curling up in a ball and telling Ben & Jerry of my humiliation.

"Isabella,"

"Please, call me Bella,"

"Bella," the man I knew as Jasper Whitlock spoke, "We didn't ask you out here to embarrass you…it was just that we heard you singing in the kitchen."

Can I just die right now? Perhaps I was meant to jump off of the building, "I'm so sorry if I was disrupting you-"_  
_"No, it was definitely not a disruption…we thought it was _wonderful. _We would like to have you audition and be interviewed for the new opening in our band."

_New opening…band..._I began to really process what he was saying, "Oh," I whispered.

"Yes," Jasper continued, "the only thing is that, if accepted into Hour Glass Shot, you would be leaving with us tomorrow at three pm."

"Oh," I repeated dumbly, "That's...short notice…."

"Yah," he smiled apologetically, "but if you're willing to try…we really hope you could be an addition. We'd be willing to give you a few hours to think; it's only six now and we'd want to get the audition starting at around nine or any time sooner. I have to warn you though…this will be a late night Bella."

A chance to be in the Hour Glass Shot, one of my favorite bands and travel _with _them was a wonderful opportunity. But did I want it? I'd have to put up with the band members who so far seemed very nice at least, and the paparazzi drama…which I guess I could handle seeing as I'm a pro at not calling unnecessary attention to myself. What about the fame? Constant pictures and photographs and celebrities I didn't care about…could I handle that? What about my life here…

_What life here? _

It was as I stood there that things began to fall into place. If I were to look back on the past year I wouldn't be able to distinguish any memory. Every incident was mashed against the other, and it was as if all my feelings had been blended into one throbbing pain. I'd bided my time alone, unable to reconnect with those around me, and pushing myself further into a hole of loneliness. Like my former life, all the people I had held close to me had perished. Every day I walked by places that shoved painful memories into my mind, bringing me back into the spiraling depression I was in. I didn't want that anymore. I didn't want _this _anymore. It was time to leave Forks behind.

"Bella," Jaspers cool hand tugged on mine. I guess I'd been in a trance for a few seconds longer than normal.

"I'll do it," I said finally, "I'll audition."

"Are you sure you don't want to think about this more," he asked, "This is a big step."

I laughed without humor, "Trust me, I can take this chance."

"Alright then what are we waiting for," the well known, boisterous, drummer Emmett announced, "let's go now."

"Perhaps," I interjected, "You'd like to finish your meal? I do need to clear some things up with my godfather though…I can't leave the kitchen without a chef."

"We understand," Jasper said, "Thank you, Bella,"

"No," I shook my head, not quite believing what is was that was happening to me, "Thank you."

...

"You're doing _what," _James shouted. "You can't leave!"

"Bella –I don't want to _replace _you. I-I couldn't possibly cook like you," Angela stuttered.

"Enough," I groaned, "James, I'm almost a legal adult. In six months I'll be out of here. You might as well have Angela, a _more _than talented girl, man the kitchen. You've seen what she can do, she's better than me! Think about it, with me gone you don't have to pay for all my housing expenses. It's one less person to give a paycheck, and I'm out of your hair."

"You act like I hate you Bella," James sighed, "I don't hate you. Granted, I don't particularly like you, but that doesn't mean I want you to up and leave."

"I can't take it here," I could feel the tears building; "Everything reminds me of Renee, or Charlie or J- I can't stay here James. I'm falling apart."

"Ok," Angela spoke up, "I-I'll do it, if James will let me."

"You'll do perfectly well Angela," I squeezed her hand, "James, please."

His momentary silence worried. However I had already decided that given his blessing or not, I would still go. It wasn't as if his opinion actually mattered to me, I just didn't want any legal issues about consent to obstruct me. Then again, this was assuming they even letme join.

"Fine," James finally sighed, "I'll let you go."

A large breath escaped me, "Thank you."

Not waiting another second, I placed a gentle kiss on James's rough cheek. We'd never really been on good terms, but it didn't change the fact that he'd taken care of me when I was without family. It was only after I squeezed Angela in a tight hug that I raced off to find Edward, and audition for my new life.

**Edward's Point of View**

"I can't believe she said yes," Emmett boomed, "Can you imagine all the wonderful food we're going to be getting, Eddie? No more take out, or Rosie's 'cooking'-Ouch!"

"Would you two shut up," I growled, "I finally got Auden to sleep and since I'm the only one that can get him to sleep I'd prefer if I didn't have to do it for the _third _time tonight."

"It's because you spoil him rotten," Alice muttered as she passed by. "Look, I asked Stevie to open up the recording room for us down in Port Angeles and told Bella to meet us there, so you're going to have to put Auden in the carrier."

I walked over to my son and gently moved him from his place on the bed into his carrier. Afterwards I proceeded to do a happy dance seeing as he hadn't woken up from my strapping him in. However I wondered how long his nap would actually last.

"What about the noise in the studio room?"

"Do you think you could trust us with your precious child for a second to leave in him the rec-room with us?" Rosalie jeered, "We'll use headphones and he can sleep soundly next to Alice and me."

"Fine," I grumbled.

Leaving Auden for longer than necessary made me wary, but I knew he would be fine with Rosalie and Alice. In any event he would be in the room next to us. I had to remind myself that my siblings cared for him as much as I did, and would not put him to any harm. Despite that time Alice took him to the park…

We reached Port Angeles an hour later at about eight o'clock, ready to do business, and get the night over with. My mind was in a million places at once. The moment I'd heard Bella's full name, I knew where I had seen her before. Or rather, I'd seen someone like her. She had a startling resemblance to her father Charlie Swan, who had been the chief of police around the time that I was here. Charlie had always been an affable character, but was sure to be stern. We'd interacted a few times, but thankfully not under illegal circumstances. And now that I knew the connection, I was even more intrigued by her. Why had she been able to accept the offer after such a short thinking period? Along with this question I added more qualities to the list that was titled _Bella Swan. _Her cooking was incredible; she blushed frequently, was horribly modest, and something in her life had caused her to want to end it. Her mind was like a complex Rubik's Cube. I was sure the colors could match up to six perfectly constructed sides, but for now I was left feeling like the inadequate solver, staring blankly at the many scrambled squares.

As soon as we entered the studio, I could smell the entrancing strawberry scent. I smiled as I recognized it as Bella's smell. It felt wonderful to finally have a name to match the face…_Isabella Swan, Isabella, Bella Swan, Bella…_At least I had one part of her mystery solved.

"Edward," a soft voice said, "Are you ok?"

"Um, Yah," I snapped back into reality. "I'm great."

"I think they're ready," she whispered, "You know…to begin."

"Yah," I shook my head, "Let me just lay Auden down."

"Oh yah, your son," she smiled at his sleeping form, "He's too precious- isn't he like three?"

"Yah," I murmured.

_That's great Cullen, 'yah, yah, yah'…think you can handle a five letter response next time? _

"I'm sorry," her cheeks burned, "It must be so awkward having a complete stranger know stuff about you and your child."

"Y-well that's what comes with being famous," I smiled and placed Auden down on a couch in the rec-room. "Come on, let's get inside the band room."

I lead her through the door connecting the band room to the rec-room and watched as her eyes widened in interest. She stroked her fingers across my guitar, but then snapped her hand back as if she thought she were about to break it.

"Do you play," I asked her.

"No," she murmured, "but I've always found Jimi Hendrix's to be awfully beautiful."

"I think you're the first girl I've ever heard to call a guitar beautiful- but it is," I joined her over by the instrument, "How did you know?"

"J- a friend of mine," she choked, "Loved guitars."

"Oh," I said. _Oh? Is that all you can come up with Cullen? _

"Alright Bella," Alice barged in with the other members; "Rosalie and I will be listening in the rec-room, while Edward, Emmett, and Jazzy will accompany you on their instruments. See you in a few."

As quickly as they entered, Rosalie and Alice exited. Bella stood, looking slightly nervous as she faced us. She timidly placed herself in front of the microphone, and touched it lightly, brushing the pads of her fingers across the foam. For the millionth time, and I knew not for the last time, I was wondering what was going through her mind.

**Bella's Point of View **

"So Bella, what song do you want to sing- we know a few popular ones," Jasper asked as he suited up the guitar.

A loud banging interrupted from behind us, giving us a taste of how each snare, bass and cymbal sounded. The sound surprised me, causing the hair of my arms to stand on end.

"Emmett, stop!" Edward yelled, "Gah- I'm sorry Bella, he does that a lot. You can never really get used to it either."

"It's fine," I said, "Besides, I don't even know if I'll get in…"

"Don't worry," Jasper patted my shoulder reassuringly, "You will. The only reason why were doing this is because Rose was having a moment of bitchdom –Ow!"

"Emmett, I swear if you don't stop throwing those damn sticks," Edward gave the empty threat before adding, "Stop scaring Bella."

"I'm fine," I assured them, "Emmett, give me a song."

Emmett thought for a while, his drumstick placed dramatically to his chin as if he were in the thinking stance.

"'Hanging by a Moment'," Emmett smirked, "By Lifehouse. Do you know that one?"

"Who doesn't?" Jasper groaned, "Emmett you audio-rape this song."

"Audio-rape?" I turned to Edward.

"Listening to the song to the point of abuse," Edward chuckled, "Emmett has a fixation with this song."

"I'm fine with that then," I nodded.

"Come in when you want ok? Don't be nervous," he smiled his million dollar lopsided grin as he walked around me. I felt my face heat, and turned so that he wouldn't witness it.

Edward stood at a microphone to my left, his hair disheveled and hanging in his closed eyes. His knee bounced as the opening counts of the song came from Emmett's calling,

"1, 2, 3, 4,"

The sound of Jasper's bass playing and Edward's Hendrix filled the room as I sucked in the introduction of the song. Despite Edward's comforting assurance for me not to be nervous, I could feel the heavy stone of anxiety weighing in my stomach. My throat closed and I was unable to start the song with him.

"_Desperate for change…starving for truth…"_

Edward glanced at me and for a moment, I just gawked at him, stuck like the fourteen year old fan inside of me that I really was. He was beautiful while he sang, and even more intimidating up close singing nextto me. I didn't know how he expected me to sing when I could even take control of my breath.

"_I'm falling even more in love with you…"_

He raised a brow at me as if urging for me to start. I couldn't do it- but I had to. There was something about this opportunity that I couldn't pass up. I wanted this life, or at least I wanted the change that came with it. But I would never get to take hold of it if I didn't sing. And so when the next chorus began, I took over.

"_I'm falling even more in love with you…letting go of all I held on to." _

Edward's warm smile gave me encouragement, causing me to gain confidence. The words were ones that I could identify with, and I couldn't thank Emmett more for the fact that he'd chosen this song. I was falling in love with the possibility of new beginnings, and letting go of all that had kept me strangled in the past. Or rather, I let go of the past I was strangling.

I sang, and dear God did I sing. If they didn't like it then there was nothing else I could give them because I was giving them everything in those few words. _I have no idea what I'm diving in to…._As I sang, smiling at how true the words were. My eyes shut as I relished them, living in them and breathing them as my own.

"_There's nothing else to lose…there's nothing else to find." _

Edward sang my counterpart. I didn't know if he felt the epiphany I did, but I could feel the emotion through his voice. I wondered if every time he sang, you could see the raw paint of emotion displayed across the canvas that was his face. It was intimidating, but at the same time inspiring.

"_There's nothing in the world," _he sang, "_That can change my mind."  
_

Our voices tangled as we sang these words together, "_There is nothing else… there is nothing else."_

"_Desperate for changing," _I sang, out of breath, "_Starving for truth…I'm closer to where I started."_

Edwards eyes held so much though informed me so little as he sang the closing line of our song, "_I'm chasing after you." _

Cheering erupted from the speakers in the studio room as well as from Jasper and Emmett behind us. It was such a…a _high. _It was in that instance that I felt how much I wanted this. I wanted this more than anything.

"That was…amazing," I was barely able to mutter to Edward. "Thank you for doing that with me. That's more alive than I've felt in so long."

"Guys," Alice spoke into the microphone, "please come into the rec-room now so we can discuss things."

They propped their instruments and equipment on stands and walked through the door behind me. Once I came in, Alice, with a bright smile on her face, moved over on the couch, and patted the seat next to her. Cautiously, I walked over and sat next to her.

As she grabbed my hand with her smaller one, she whispered in my ear, "You are so in."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	6. Chapter 6

You and Me: Chapter 6  
"_With nothing to do"_

I didn't want to wake up. I felt as if I had fooled myself into thinking I could be ok, but I couldn't. I could never be okay –not with all of them gone. Not when I felt like this.

I woke up at two am, from the harsh rains outside, gasping and whimpering from the nightmare I had been imprisoned in. Cold sweat matted my hair to my forehead as I lay in the aftermath. I waited for sleep to return but it was a futile attempt. The hours passed as I lay in the bed, refusing to get up. I wished I hadn't woken up this morning.

It was almost physically painful for me to roll over and heave myself out of my bed at ten thirty. My eyes were heavy and my vision clouded as I headed to the bathroom to change.

"Ugh," I groaned after looking in the mirror. _Well don't you just look delightful?_

After showering I pulled on massive Winnie the Pooh tee and my comfortable jeans as well as my converse. My bags were already laid by my door, waiting for me to run away with them. I'd sold my truck to Nessie over the phone, who claimed she would pick it up this morning, and drop off the cash. I had heard her arrive so was sure of the money waiting under the matt for me to take on the road. I wanted to leave everything behind.

The cab arrived around eleven thirty. I packed my very few belongings in the back and walked inside to do a quick check. I had already told James goodbye before I went to sleep, and was on the verge of leaving this apartment in the dust. I was just about to leave when I spotted a black mass of fabric in a box on the couch.

Just as my fingers touched it, the tears flowed freely. _Jacob's sweater…_

I pulled the cotton over my head and it hung loosely on my body. The sleeves were way too big and the sweater reached my knees. _Jacob was abnormally tall…_a small smile tugged at my lips. I pressed my nose to the fabric, and was punched by his scent. It was so fresh as if he had just pulled it off even though it must have been in the box from a year ago.

Tears racked my body until bile rose in my throat. I ran to the kitchen and emptied the contents from my stomach that must have been there from last night seeing as I hadn't eaten anything this morning. I swished the tap water in my mouth and spat it in the sink. After sipping at some water for a few more seconds, I dumped the glass out and ran out the cab. Without a second look, I let the apartment building disappear behind me.

**Edward's Point of View **

Auden chatted endlessly as we waited by the check-in area for Bella, and I couldn't understand a word of it. I didn't know if it was that I wasn't processing half of what he was saying, or if he was even speaking English. He babbled and garbled his words, making it impossible for us to comprehend him sometimes. Emmett insists that he's just intelligent on a level that we can't comprehend.

"Auden, please, inside voice," I tugged on his hand for him to sit down. It was times like these that I wished I had listened to Alice and kept him in the stroller. But I just couldn't stand his incessant whining. I felt like I was keeping him hostage.

"Score one for Alice," Alice ticked one on her invisible chalk board. _Didn't she mean score one-hundred? _"Oh, there's Bella- I think."

A figure in a black sweater and jeans walked up to us. Underneath her hood I could see her brown hair pulled into side pony tail and the paleness –almost sickly color of her face. She was clinging to a large suitcase with a medium sized duffle strapped to its back, while her rucksack was positioned on her back. Large black sunglass shielded her eyes from mine.

"Hey Bells, let me help you with that," Emmett grabbed her suitcase and slung it onto our trolley.

"Thank you," she whispered, and took down her hood, "Hello everyone."

"Someone's not a morning person," Jasper laughed, "We were waiting for you to check in. Come on, at least the line isn't long."

As we walked I found her lagging behind. She dragged her feet, her head hung down and her knuckles white as she strangled the arm bands of her backpack.

"Are you ok?" I asked her as Auden and I waited for her to catch up to us.

"Yah," an obviously forced smile appeared on her face, "I'm just a little sick."

"You know you can talk to me about anything right?" I reminded her, "I mean I know we just met and all, but I'm here for you if you want."

She nodded as we reached a stop at the check-in cue.

"Who are you," Auden called from beside me up to Bella. She pasted a grin on her face, and stooped down to meet his level.

"I'm Bella, it's nice to meet you," she shook his hand, "and what is your name?"

"Auden," he replied. His next words were a jumbled mess, "Are you coming home with us?"

"It's ok, if you don't understand him the first time," I told her, "Auden has a slight speech impediment."

She removed her glasses and looked at him.

_Great, _I thought, _now she probably thinks my child's a freak. _

"It gets frustrating doesn't," she said softly to him as she poked his stomach gently. He giggled while I watched, entranced as she stood again. Her eyes were almost emotionless, but still held an edge of rawness.

The process of getting to the jet went smoothly. We weren't sidetracked by any fans seeing as we were unidentifiable in our down played outfits. The majority of us wore caps or hoods so we were disguised well. It was acceptable in Forks, what with this weather.

We had an hour before the jet took off and since it was a private jet we waited inside. I watched as Bella trailed to the back of the small plane and sat alone in a row of three chairs.

"Hey," I walked down to her row, "Do you mind Auden and me sitting by you?"

"Of course not," her voice was soft, like it always seemed to be "I just thought…maybe you all wanted rows of your own."

"Rose and Emmett and Jasper and Alice are always up to their own shenanigans on flights. It would be nice to have someone of my own age to converse with for once." I said.

_Good job Cullen that actually seemed like an intelligible sentence. _

A small smile came, one that actually seemed genuine, "Aisle or window?"

"If you don't mind, Auden can just go in the middle?"

"Window," Auden demanded.

"Auden, daddy likes the aisle and you need to be next to me so I can make sure you behave." I reasoned with him. "You can always ask Bella nicely to keep the window open."

"Window," he repeated and stomped his foot.

"He can sit by the window," Bella said, "I don't mind."

"You'd want to sit in the middle?" I asked, "I can't stop him if he hits you."

The beautiful tinkle of her giggle sent tingles through my body. I made a mental not to make her laugh more often.

"I think I can manage," she said and then turned to Auden, "Auden, if you sit by the window you won't be next to your dad."

"Ok," he said, "window."

"Alright bud," I sighed. After a few minutes of fussing with him and setting him comfortably in the airplane seat, I was finally allowed to sit down. Bella was already positioned in her seat, staring blankly at the head rest in front of her.

"Do you want some Tylenol or something," I asked, scarily concerned at this point. What if she really was this quiet normally? It just hit me that I know _nothing _about this girl and she was going to be living with us. The only comforting grace was that I knew her father, and doubted that a man with such a good heart could produce a skewed child.

"I'm fine," she sighed, "honestly, I am. I don't think I'm a traveling person."

"Yah me too, planes kind of freak me out- no matter how many times I go on them," I admitted, "Auden loves them."

"I've only been on a plane once and that was to move here," she whispered. Why did it seem as if this was a painful subject? I didn't want to pry but I realized that if I didn't make some sort of attempt at figuring her out I would remain in the dark about Bella.

"Why'd you move to Forks?" I asked.

"Pass," she replied.

"Pass?" I laughed, "You can't pass."

"I believe I just did."

"Alright," I said and tried to regain a shred of dignity. I wonder if she knew she held me captive with the mystery of her thoughts, "Would you prefer I ask lighter questions?"

"Do you need to ask questions at all," she questioned.

"Bella," I sighed, "does it not bother you that you are going to be living in a house with a complete stranger?"

"I have no qualms with living in a house with you in your son," she shrugged, "Should I? Are you keeping dead bodies under the floor boards? Or maybe you have a cornfield in your backyard?"

"Ha, ha, very funny," I stuck out my tongue, "I don't know. I just don't want this- us to be awkward."

"Fine," Bella sighed and turned towards me. She stuck out her hand, "Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. I'm seventeen years old…I'm allergic to nuts, my favorite color is blue and there is virtually nothing else interesting about me."

"I beg to differ," I murmured.

"I'm sorry what did you say," she asked.

"Nothing," I coughed, "Anyway-"

"Ouch," Bella held her head. I was about to intervene when she turned to chubby faced perpetrator, "Auden, if you would like to get my attention you need to use your words not your hands."

His next words were a verbal tumble-weed.

"I'm sorry what did you say, honey?" she leaned closer to him. "Say it slower."

"Oh," she nodded, "Its ok…you want to draw? Edward," she turned to me, "is he allowed to?"

"Um…Alice won't want him messing up his clothes," I told her. "Auden, you can draw when we get home."

"Now," he asked.

"No Auden," I repeated, "Especially not after last time."

His crying erupted within a matter of milliseconds. If I could describe my sons crying, I'd cross it between a screeching banshee and a dying cat. I couldn't take it, and often gave in to make him stop. Alice turned around in her seat in front of me, probably to make a comment on my bad parenting techniques.

"Gah- what did you do this time Edward?"

Eh, close enough.

"I told him he couldn't draw."

"Good," she smiled, "_some _discipline has been implemented."

"Is it that big of a deal though," I raised my voice over his loud volume, "I'm thinking he can just use a pencil- that won't hurt-"

"No, Edward," her volume was at the same high level as mine, "you never stand your ground. I'm tired of you letting him act like a brat."

"He's hardly three years old,"

"You're going to be saying the same thing when he's eighteen," she yelled as his crying escalated. "Grow a back bone."

"I don't need your advice on raising a child when you don't even have one, Alice," I barked back, "I'm going to give him the pencil –wait. It's quiet."

An eerie silence filled the plane, replacing the squealing of Auden. I looked beside me, only to see him positioned on Bella's shoulders, his feet hanging down on both sides of her neck.

"How did you-"

"Kids are easily distracted at this age Edward," she shrugged and then took him off her shoulders. He was quiet as ever, contentedly sucking his thumb. She held him in her lap for a few moments an indecipherable –well to me- expression on her face as gazed at him.

"That wasn't so bad was it Auden," she smiled as he shook his head. "Do you want to see something cool?"

He nodded while he sniffled. Before reaching into her bag, Bella used the edge of her undershirt to wipe his running nose. Afterwards she pulled an odd shaped figure out of her bag. It was a russet colored, wolf stuffed animal, with large ears, brown buttons for eyes and large, disproportioned paws. I could tell from the worn fur and missing eye that the poor thing had been through a lot, but that didn't faze Auden. Eagerly he held out his hands for the toy.

"His name is Cheerio," she said softly to him, "I named him that because he cheers me up when I'm sad. I can let you borrow him when you're sad if you'd like. Would you like to play with him?"

He nodded.

"Auden, you need to start using your words, honey. Would you like to play with Cheerio?"

"Yes," he bounced in his seat impatiently until Bella placed the ragged puppy in his paws. I was waiting for when he would get bored with the toy and return it to her, but surprisingly for the next ten minutes, I watched him play continuously with the wolf.

"Thank you," I said, "for giving that to him."

"Well, I can't _give_ it to him," her cheeks burned red as she muttered this, "I kind of still need Cheerio. I mean you can never be too old to need to be cheered up Edward."

"You're right," I nodded.

"Anymore questions?" she asked, "I mean, I'm not sure if you were done before…"

"I am," I smiled contentedly.

"Really?" she raised a brow.

I looked at my child playing happily with the cute wolf and saw the innocence and purity of Bella's actions in her brown eyes.

"Yes, Bella," I nodded, "I can't wait to get to know you."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	7. Chapter 7

You and Me: Chapter 7  
"_Nothing to lose"_

Edward was fast asleep next to me within the first hour of our flight. At times I would start to drift off, but as soon as I closed my eyes a replay of last night's nightmare would invade my thoughts. Each time, Jacob's body, mangled from the unforgiving shoreline of La Push Beach, would appear, and the bile would rise in my throat. My eyes would snap open, my throat would burn, and the world would seem dimmer than before. What was I doing here? How could I possibly function with these other people when I couldn't function alone?

I looked over at Auden's sleeping form. My heart honestly went out to him. As a child I had a speech impediment, slurring my words and also not being able pronounce the's' sound. I had undergone extensive therapy and lessons to learn proper speech since no one could understand me. It came to a point where I was isolated because no friends could communicate with me. You'd think that I'd had major mental issues, but in fact I was just a slow developer. It was because of his speech problems that I felt an immediate connection to him. He reminded me so much of myself. Not to mention the adorable permanent blush he had going on. It was odd, but I felt an attachment to him and found myself stroking his soft, smooth cheek...you know, in a completely non-stalker way. For once in a blue moon, a smile crept onto my face.

It started to wane as I took notice to something. A thin sheen of sweat covered Auden's forehead as he slept. He had no jacket or cover on as well as the air was directly on him, giving him no reason to be hot. A lump formed in my throat as I felt under his neck with the back of my hand. Heat emanated from his skin and I checked to see if he had faster breathing than regular. After doing a few tests that I had learned from an emergency course in high school, I made the conclusion that Auden in fact had a fever.

I was about to tap Alice on the shoulder when I realized that she, just as everyone else, was asleep. Just as I had made the decision to wake her up Auden stirred in his sleep, and then his eyes fluttered open.

"Auden, sweetie, are you ok?" I whispered.

He mumbled something,

"Bathroom," I guessed. Thankfully I was right because he nodded.

I thought we were going to wake up Edward, but surprisingly, he stayed still as I climbed over his legs with Auden in tow. _Someone's a heavy sleeper. _

We trailed to the plane bathroom, still undetected by the other passengers. Once we reached the bathroom, I felt a bit awkward about taking someone else's child to the bathroom. I hoped they didn't think I was a pedophile.

_Argh, shut up Bella...he's a toddler for goodness sakes and you're just doing Edward a favor. _

Auden wasn't acting irritated or anything, which led me to believe that he was perfectly fine. In our course we had be informed that children's body temperature changes frequently throughout the day and often times, what may feel like a fever was nothing. I was about to relax, when Auden began to throw up.

I've never been one for quick reflexes, so I had to applaud myself when I was able to position his body towards the toilet. The sickness was directed right into the hole, and we were saved the mess. Auden's little body heaved under my grasp, while he emptied the days' contents into the toilet. My gaze was focused on the ceiling so that I couldn't become sick with him. Little whimpers left his body as he finished. I used a wad of paper towel to clear his mouth before lifting his mouth to the sink so he could rinse it out.

"Bella," he mumbled, "Cold."

"I know honey, I know, hold on," I cuddled him in my arms. Back at our row, I noticed Alice was awake.

"Auden is sick," I informed her, "Should we wake up Edward?"

"No, no," Alice shook her head while yawning, "He wouldn't even know what to do –this is the first time I've heard of him being sick. On top of that Edward hardly sleeps...what do we do?"

"I-I think I have it under control," I told her, "I just didn't know if Edward would be angry- you know, if I didn't tell him."

"Oh, he'll be upset," Alice chuckled, "But only because he wasn't awake for it- not at you. Edward's way over protective. Enough about him though, do you need any help?"

"No, we're fine, I don't think it's very serious," I said, "I'm just going to get him some fluids and coax him back to sleep."

"Maybe we should wake up Edward then..." Alice sighed, "_No one _can get Auden to sleep except for Auden and Edward."

"How about I see how it goes, and then we wake him up if anything?" I tried, "I would hate to disturb Edward unnecessarily."

"Bella," Auden tugged on my hair to get my attention, "Cold."

"Auden, I know your cold, but it's not nice to pull hair," I said as we trailed back to our seat.

I snuck into Edward's baby bag and took out a mini juice box for Auden. He sipped the box until it was finished and then began to shiver once again. I took my blanket as well as his and bundled him in a cocoon so that his limbs were trapped snuggly inside. Despite his fever, Auden giggled.

"Perhaps I should start calling you the caterpillar," I smiled at him. His expression mirrored mine as he yawned. He was positioned in my lap and arms, a perfectly swaddled boy, staring into my face with pure innocence. Who could ever leave this child?

I pushed aside my building fury towards the already deceased Tanya, and focused on Auden. I absentmindedly stroked his curls while I began whispering to him.

"There once was a caterpillar," I began.

"Auden," he interrupted, "Caterpillar Auden."

"Yes, Caterpillar Auden," I nodded, "He loved to play with his best friend Cheerio the wolf. Cheerio and Auden traveled all over the world in a plane just like this. Well one day, Caterpillar Auden got really sick."

"Me," he whispered.

"Yes, just like you," I smiled, "And they had to find a special leaf that would make him feel all better. So Cheerio left Caterpillar Auden, and traveled _all _over the world just to find the leaf. Cheerio soon met a little girl named..."

"Alice," Auden offered tiredly.

"Sure," I agreed, "A little girl named Alice. Alice wanted to stay and play but Cheerio told her that he hadto get the leaf for his best friend Auden... so they traveled _all _over the world together just to find the leaf. Cheerio and Alice soon met a little boy named..."

I waited for the suggestion when it never came. I looked down to see blue undertone of Auden's eyelids. He was fast asleep. Feeling comfortable with him cradled in my arms, I began to think about anything and everything. Soon, I found myself fast asleep too.

**Edward's Point of View**

A range of emotions swept through me as I woke up to see Auden swaddled in Bella's arms. I was jealous, peeved, confused, slightly rejected, but weirdly giddy. It thrilled me to see Auden so close with a female figure seeing as she had no mother...but it bothered me seeing as it was Bella. I hardly knew Bella and _Auden _hardly knew Bella. I was worried that should anything happen, and Bella couldn't be there for him that he would lose trust in any future women in his life...or future women that I dated.

To be honest I didn't see Bella as a future wife to me. And yah, this seemed like jumping the ship, but whenever I invited a woman in my life, I pictured her as a spouse. What would it be like if I woke up to her every morning? What would it be like taking her out on our anniversary? How would she be with my child? Women didn't know it, but guys were just as obsessed with finding their soul mate as they are. I ran Bella through the criteria, and found that she didn't match what I had picked for myself. Sure she was intriguing, and I did have an odd interest in her...but that was the beginnings of friendship, wasn't it? Truth be told, if a new woman did come in my life, I'd want Auden to see _her _as the mother figure...not a friend of mine.

_Wow, you're over thinking this way too much Edward…Bella was just helping?_

While it was true that she was helping, I couldn't help but ask myself, why didn't she wake me up? It kind of put me off that she would take the initiative to care for _my _child. Did she think I was incapable of doing it?

"I told her not to wake you up," Alice answered as if hearing my thoughts, "She was going to but I told her to let you rest. You should have seen her Edward; she was perfect taking care of Auden. I mean look, she even got him to sleep. I can just see you three becoming family."

"Whoa Alice, there you go again having no censorship or care for personal boundaries. There will be no 'becoming' between Bella and me. I can't see her as a potential interest."

"Ass hat," Alice grumbled. "Whatever. Just don't act like the prick you are when she wakes up please? She went out of the way to make sure _your _child was ok. The least you could do is thank her. I actually like her Edward, don't screw this up for us."

"Whatever, Alice," I answered. We paused for a second as Bella stirred in her seat, but then relaxed again. She mumbled a few weird things about caterpillars before becoming silent.

Feeling uneasy, I took Auden from her arms and nestled him in mine, tranquility washing back over me.

"You worry too much," Alice chided, "She wouldn't hurt him."

"I'm sorry, how long have you known her for?" I raised a brow. Alice pursed her lips before turning back in her seat. "Exactly my point,"

"Ass hat," she grumbled again. That's Alice for you.

**Bella's Point of View **

The landing of the plane brought me out of my sleep. That was one of the oddest dreams I've ever had. I hadn't the slightest idea what it was about…caterpillars I think. I shifted my arms, only to feel that there was no weight on them anymore.

_Please say I didn't drop Auden…_

I moved in my seat frantically until I saw that he was sleeping contently in Edwards' arms. A sigh of relief escaped me.

"Up and at 'em Bella," Emmett poked me roughly, "we have to get through the airport fast before anyone recognizes us. People are _way _more observant here than in Forks, and we haven't even told our manager about you…so no one else can know you're with us."

I nodded before gathering my belongings, ensuring Cheerio was in my bag, and standing up. We exited the plane and went through customs easily. I was still in a daze from our flight while we walked towards the exit. Emmett kept sticking his foot to see if I would trip and I was about push him over if he didn't stop.

Rose's hand connected to the back of his head, something I realized was a regular occurrence. Thankfully, he gave up after that. Everyone seemed to be a bit tense since we were in the Hollywood airport, and didn't want to risk anyone seeing us. Edward made sure I was close to him so I couldn't get lost, which I was grateful for. A few people turned their heads at us, many double taking but none of them actually realizing.

An obstacle came before me, causing me to trip horribly. My hood and glasses flew off, leaving me completely exposed to the world. I felt like the center of attention, which I guess I was since I was on the floor. Tension ran thick as we all stopped for a few suspenseful seconds. After we realized that no one had in fact, noticed them –seeing as no one knows who I am- Emmett hooked one arm around me, and pulled me up effortlessly.

"What the hell Em," Jasper whispered harshly, "This is exactly why we told you to stop."

"I swear, it wasn't me this time," Emmett raised his hands in defense.

"It's ok, really," I intervened, "It was me. I trip over everything. Please, let's just get out of the airport."

We speed walked out of the airport practically jogging until we reached the fourth level of the parking lot. It was then that we were swarmed by four guards and escorted to the car.

"Is this normal," I whispered, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the large, beefy men on the sides of me. "I mean for so many of them to be here. Are we in danger?"

"Only of paparazzi, they hide out here sometimes. We take extra precautions because of Auden. We have two guards that have quarters at the house, just like my siblings. Publicity brings around a few stalkers."

"Oh," I nodded, "Do the guards ever get to go see their families?"

"We only enlisted guards who had family here so that they'd be able to alternate frequently during the day. We'd hate to stay in the way of their relationships."

That comforted me a bit, but I hated the idea of anyone risking their life for me. It just seemed unnecessary.

Of course, I managed to trip once more. Unfortunately, it seemed as if this was the deal breaker. In an attempt to steady myself, I had grabbed on Edwards sweater, which took off his hood and ripped off his hat of which lay beneath. Sprawled on the tarmac, I spotted a figure in my peripheral, and before I knew it, there was a flash.

A hard and solid arm, wrapped around my waist and threw me over their shoulder. The guard had picked me up and had thrown me over his shoulder, sprinting with me to the car. Over his shoulder, I could see two more emerge from a black car and stop the reporter, confiscating his camera and destroying the film. I gazed out the car as we drove away, seeing that the reporter had been set free.

"You weren't joking were you," Alice giggled, "Wow, this one is going to be a paparazzi attracter. 'New band members eats red carpet'."

My cheeks burned, "We can just forget about this...Ouch."

Emmett who was driving, turned around in the seat, speculating my skinned forearms. "Ooo, that looks bad."

"It'll be much worse if you don't keep your eyes on the road."

The stinging became more prominent as I could feel a drop of blood travel down my arm.

"Bella, you have a boo-boo," Auden grumbled, "Ow."

"Yes, because I fell," I winced. "It's ok though."

"Hurt?" he asked.

"A bit," I said truthfully, "When was the last time you got a boo, boo."

"Aunty Alice."

A chuckle sounded from the others in the car except for Alice and Edward. Edward looked slightly upset so I decided not to press the matter. Although, that didn't stop Auden from continuing with the story, I didn't understand half of it but I got the gist.

"...and then she bumped me off the slide. Daddy was really angry."

"I really hope you didn't understand that," Alice coughed.

"Was it bad?" I asked her.

She groaned, "Thankfully no...it was grass beneath so he was only bruised. Since then I've never been allowed to take him to the park."

"I'm surprised you're even allowed to still touch him Alice," Jasper chuckled, "You should have seen Edward's face when Auden told him."

"This isn't funny," Edward growled.

"Oh come on, it was two months ago Edward."

"You threw my child three feet off the ground. I'm inclined to kind of hate you."

She slapped him.

Auden squealed something unintelligible while Jasper glared at Edward, and Emmett was chuckling in the front. My arms were slightly numb at this moment, but I took their sibling banter as a distraction from the blood.

"Bella, there aren't a lot of things you could do to get Edward to hate you. Just don't hurt his child and you're fine," Rosalie informed me.

I smiled at the 3 year old, "I'd never hurt Auden."

"Yay," he clapped excitedly. His next words were a mess, but were directed towards Edward.

"What?" Edward turned his head to Auden, "What did you say buddy?"

"Bella sleeping over?"

"Yes she is," Edward answered, "She's going to be our new house friend."

"House friend?"

"I'm going to be living with you, sweetie," I smiled.

"Play with me?" he asked.

"Not today, but I promise I will," I told him, "We'll have lots of fun together."

"Bella, I'm telling you, Auden doesn't calm down," Edward warned.

"He also is unruly," Alice muttered.

"We'll be fine," I told them, "Won't we Auden."

He nodded excitedly.

"This will be interesting," Rosalie muttered.

...

I didn't really get the grand tour of the mansion when we were dropped off, seeing as I needed to get my cuts cleaned. What I was able to see was the gorgeous details of the house, like the carvings in the columns, and the abstract paintings placed tastefully in the entry way and halls. There was a long stair case leading to the first level, while a hall led to the other rooms in the house. The house was gorgeous and large, but the only thing is that it didn't feel like home. In fact it didn't even feel lived in. Every room was white. I voiced this.

"Alice decorated everything, but I didn't want her to paint it. White feels clean," he replied.

"That's a reason I've never heard before," I said as we reached a small supply closet.

"Let me just go set Auden down for a nap and then I can help you." Edward said.

"A nap? He slept on the plane."

"I know but, although he seems better, I'm scared of him being sick. Plus, Auden's like his daddy –he loves to sleep."

I laughed, "It's ok Edward, I can dress this myself. I'll just take a shower and settle in afterwards, if that's ok?"

"Sure," he smiled.

I trailed down the large hall to where the upstairs family room. I then turned left to where another hall was, containing Edward's room, and mine right across from it. The handle was shiny, gold and smooth as I turned it carefully, trying not to the mess anything up. I stepped inside, absorbing my new home. The only way I could describe it was...white; white walls, white bed, white carpet, white curtains and then a few red accessories here and there.

The duvet shuffled beneath me as I sat down on the bed with the first aid kit. I looked down to inspect the damage and drew a breath at what I saw. Angry red scrapes showered my forearms, gravel residue surrounding the scratches and dried mixed with wet blood. The sad thing was that it wasn't the sight of my arms that had caused me to hold in my oxygen. It was Jacob's jacket that caused me to freeze.

Blood dampened the rims of the sleeves as well as dark spots had formed on some of the areas from dripped blood. It was in this moment that it began to happen again; the loss of control, the overwhelming sadness and distress. I was brought back to the images of my nightmare from the night before, Jacob's mangled and bloody body, broken, old, and gone. Now here his jacket was, the only think I had left, and it was covered in blood.

I sunk onto the ground, pressing my arms to my face in desperation, trying to force the images out. A strangled scream escaped from my lips as I rocked back and forth. How could I think I could ever be fine? I would never be fine. Pain like this didn't go away. Why did I leave Jacobs grave? Why did I leave Forks behind? I could never be fixed, I was broken, I'm broken...

"Shh, you're fine," Edward's voice lulled, "It's just a few cuts, they'll be healed in no time."

I wanted to tell him everything –that it didn't have to do with the stupid cuts. That it had everything to do with why I had tried to kill myself. I wanted to tell him everything, but all I could repeat was that I was broken, and couldn't ever be fixed.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	8. Chapter 8

You and Me: Chapter 8  
"_Because it's you and me…And all other people"_

"Where's Auden," I asked as I stepped into Bella's room. Edward sat, Bella cradled in his arms, eye's shut.

"I put just left him to sleep, since his nap a few hours ago. He'll probably wake up later but I'll deal with that when it comes, Bella needed me."

"Is she asleep?" I moved over to where he was located, crouching onto the ground, it seemed as if they had been here for a while. I wondered how long, "how long have you been here?"

"Since three," he answered.

I glanced at the clock, "You've been in here for four hours. What have you been doing?"

"I don't know Alice. Dozing off, singing random songs and thinking an awful lot. I tried, honest to God to get her cleaned up, but she won't move. That's why I called you, I need your help...I don't know what to do."

I crossed my legs and sat across from him, stroking Bella's matted brown locks. I loved that Edward had called me for help, but I hated that it was under these circumstances. Blood streaked her face and lips, and her arms were scratched horribly; Bella looked shattered even in her sleeping state, and I worried about what our future together would look like.

"Do you...do you think this was a mistake," I questioned.

Edward was hesitant as he answered, "I met Bella at Tanya's funeral."

I mentally scrolled through images of the women who were at the party, none of them matching the face before.

"She wasn't at the funeral."

"No...She was above it," Edward continued, "She was about to jump off of the chapel, Alice."

My mouth became oddly dry as I tried to speak, "T-to kill herself?"

He nodded, "I was able to get her down. I don't think she really wanted to do it, I think it was just an irrational decision. I don't think she's dangerous Alice, she's just insanely depressed."

We remained silent for the next few minutes. I took the moment to think about her situation and what we had brought into our homes. She was clearly lost, maybe even regretting her decision, but somehow I foresaw us getting past all this. I realized the Bella we'd seen these past couple of days, was not her. We didn't have a clue as to who she really was, or where she was from, but we'd learn. Bella wasn't dangerous; she was just a little girl, having to be forced into a more mature world.

"Where do we go from here," Edward asked. He had the same worried and questioning glint in his eyes he often looked at me with. It was understood in our relationship that we took care of each other. Edward was the protector, and I was mother hen, cleaning him up and caring for him.

"She's staying," I said firmly, "But now we need to get her cleaned up. There's blood all over her. Pick her up."

Edward obeyed immediately and picked her up, carrying her to the bathroom. I pulled off her jeans and Winnie the Pooh tee, ensuring that she wasn't exposed in any way. Remaining in her bra and underwear, I turned on the bath.

"Just, get in and hold her would you? We don't need her drowning on us," I grumbled as I stepped into the water as well. Thankfully I was wearing a skirt, so my legs were free as I maneuvered myself around Bella. Her eyes fluttered open momentarily once the water hit her, but they drooped back almost immediately.

"Is she ok, I mean she's just sleeping like she's knocked out. Do you think she's sick? Should we take her to the hospital?"

Edwards so likes her.

"She's fine. The crying must have been mentally tolling," I informed him, "Girls release a lot of emotions Edward."

"You should have heard it Alice," Edward sounded haunted, "She was screaming that she was broken."

My heart went out to her, "It was really something for you to stay with her."

"I couldn't leave her," he murmured. Somehow I knew that meant more than the surface.

I used the Loofa to scrub her body, and to a wash cloth to wipe off her face. The blood was a bit difficult to get off gently. A shudder ran through my body as I thought of her putting her face to her arms. I didn't even want to fathom what pain she was in.

We got her out of the tub, Edward lifting her out and handing her to me who was waiting with a towel. I was able to carry Bella for a bit, but it was quite difficult because of the size difference. Once Edward managed to strip off his wet jeans, he gathered her back in his arms and we got to the room.

Bella was dressed in a few seconds, her hair brushed into a neat bun and cheeks back to a healthy pink color from the heat of the water. After he dressed her arms, Edward pulled out a pair of his basketball socks and secured them on Bella's feet.

_How precious, _I thought as I watched the tender motion.

"I think I'm done here," I clapped my hands together and looked to Edward, "Will you be fine alone?"

"Yah, I can hold the fortress," he tried lamely at lightening the mood, "Thanks Allie, you always pull through for me."

I pulled him into a hug, "Call me tomorrow ok, or even in the middle of the night if anything happens?"

He nodded and walked with me to the front door. After a last hug, I left towards my car. As I drove away from the house, the image of Bella's sad eyes as she drifted back into unconsciousness ate away at my mind.

**Bella's Point of View **

I woke up to the sound of small feet padding up and down the hallway. I realized I was fully dressed and cleaned, positioned on new sheets and the large bed of my room. My arms had been snuggly wrapped in bandages and my hair was twisted into a neat but. _Alice. _If I didn't feel so emotionless I'd feel embarrassed.

Curious as to what the sounds were, I hoisted myself out of the bed and stepped outside the door.

"Holy- Auden," I gasped, "Sweetie, what are you doing on the floor?"

He mumbled something I couldn't understand at first.

"What?"

"Not tired."

"You're not tired are you?" he shook his head in response. "Ok, well, how about you and I go down to the TV room and watch some cartoons until you're tired again."

He nodded vigorously.

"Words, Auden," I reminded him.

"Please." He mumbled. I picked him up and traveled with him down the halls until I figured out where the TV room was.

"SpongeBob, please," he asked.

"Thank you for asking so nicely," I acknowledged, "I love SpongeBob."

"Me too," Auden smiled.

I turned to the On Demand setting and selected a SpongeBob episode. It was the one where he gets this horrific splinter up his nail. I hated watching the scene in which he receives it, though as I shut my eyes, Auden laughed boisterously.

"Is ok Bella," he pulled my hands from my face, "SpongeBob ok."

I laughed, "Yes he is. Who is your favorite?"

"Patrick," he answered then attempted to ask me.

"Who do you like," I helped him pronounce the words. As I said them slowly, his hand reached out to place his palm against my lips, feeling the position of them as I said the words. As he tried, he placed his hand back at his own lips, to help himself form the words. I was astonished that Auden had found this way of learning by himself. This was the technique that my therapist had used when I was developing my speech.

"Who do you like," Auden tried slowly, but much more clearly this time.

"I like Squidward."

"Ewie," he squealed. I laughed along with him.

"Squidward is funny," I defended. "Do you think he is funny?"

"No," he answered, "Patrick funny."

The scene where Patrick tried to get the splinter out of SpongeBob's hand came along, and I couldn't help but laugh as hard as Auden was laughing. Even if I didn't find the pink starfish hilarious, there was no why I could contain the laughter when Auden was that happy. It was almost infectious. I would spend the whole day with him if he could make me feel like this.

"See. Patrick funny," Auden giggled.

"Ok, bud, I agree," I laughed.

Two more episodes of SpongeBob passed before Auden was completely knocked out and sleeping on my lap, peacefully. I lifted him, getting awfully accustomed to his small body in my arms as I carried him to where Edward told me was his room.

I would have expected there would be some color in Auden's room, but the walls were still painfully white. There were touches of blue around the room just like the other rooms were designed. There had to be something more than him just like the crisp look of white.

I pulled down Auden's plaid blue sheets a bit more be laying him down and replacing them over his body. I couldn't help but see the resemblance between him and his mother. I remembered the magazine pictures of Tanya Denali. I remembered how beautiful and how wanted by every teen boy (and some girls) she was. Headlines like, '_The New Angelina Jolie' _and '_Foxy Teen of the Year' _flashed through my head. This was what I was putting myself up to. Well, not the 'Foxy Teen' because I honestly wasn't something to look at, but I knew that we would get major publicity. Whether it was bad or good had yet to be determined.

_ Jacob, I wish you were here..._I ripped my hand away from stroking Auden's face. I didn't belong here, and yet I wanted to be here so badly. I knew it was this sea of depression and loss that was drowning my desire for singing, but it was so hard to be excited for or even interested in anything.

I closed Auden's room door behind me and trailed to my own room, peeking in Edward's open door. Only a fool would think that Edward wasn't a marvelous sight. The sheets were wrapped around his body wildly, showing slips of his glowing skin, and his hair was impossibly more disheveled. It made me wonder if he actually brushed it in the morning.

"_Bella," _

I froze, wondering if I had been caught watching him. It was only after he murmured and rolled over that I realized he had been talking in his sleep. _What was he dreaming about? _

My feet carried me into his room, lowering me down in front of his door. _What are you doing Bella? _ I leaned my head against the door, somehow feeling comforted by hearing Edward's random mumbles. Most of the time it would be names he would mutter, but occasionally words like, _'arpeggio' _and _'shut up Emmett' _would appear.

I giggled at this new addition. Emmett could even pester someone in their sleep. _'Beautiful' _Edward sighed. I wished I could be the one receiving that compliment. _'Tanya.' _Of course, that's who he would be talking about. I wondered how their relationship was before the big scandal. She was such a beautiful girl who had produced such a beautiful baby. I couldn't help but hate her for leaving him and Edward behind.

My eyes drooped as I continued speculating Edward. After a few more minutes of his ramblings, I got up and headed to my bed. Once I was snuggled inside, I made a mental note that watching Edward sleep was one of my favorite past times.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	9. Chapter 9

You and Me: Chapter 9  
"_And I don't know why,"_

"Bella," Edward called from outside my door, "Are you awake?"

"Yes," I called. I had been awake since seven. After reaching my bed, I had slept until a nightmare woke me. I checked if I was decent and then opened the door for Edward, "Morning."

He was hesitant before speaking, giving me a once over, "How are you feeling?"

"The same, but thank you," I tried to smile, "What are the plans for the day?"

He informed me that we were meant to meet with Max Plaza of Axe Records to introduce me and figure out the new plan of action. Since they had already set an album around four months ago, they hadn't started recording or finalizing and songs they had created. They were meant to embark on a tour in about a year, and so preparation was in order.

"It's only if you're up to it though. I mean, we need to go soon, but we don't have to go today," Edward told me.

"Listen Edward," I turned to him as we entered the kitchen, "I really appreciate you looking out for me, and sometimes I might...panic, but please don't baby me. I'll be ok."

"You just worried me," he sighed, "Yesterday-"

"I'm just adjusting," I leaned against the counter, "Let's not talk about this anymore? Do you mind if I take an apple?"

He nodded, "You don't have to ask for anything in this house Bella. It's yours now too."

"So I could just, walk into your room and take your shampoo," I teased.

"If you want to smell like a man then go ahead," he smiled. "So are we going today?"

"What time do you want to leave?"

"I think Alice wanted us to leave in the next hour."

I nodded, "I'll just go and get ready."

I was about to exit the kitchen when Edward called out to me.

"Yes Edward."

"Are you sure you want to, kid?"

I glared, "You know, you're not much older than me."

"Yes I am," he chuckled, "About two years."

I stuck out my tongue, "Yes Edward I'm sure... and if you ask me again, I will hurt you."

_Edward's Point of View _

As we pulled up to the studio, I watched Bella's expression of her first impression. Her eyes widened at the sight of the large recording building. I let her sit in the car for a moment and take it all in. Finally, when she gulped, I couldn't contain myself; I chuckled.

"What," she turned to me, eye brow raised.

"You look like I did when we reached here for the first time," I informed her.

"Did you feel like crapping yourself?" she asked.

"Kind of," I shrugged, "Come on let's go."

Wondering why Auden was so quiet, I turned around only to see him fast asleep. I shook my head at how his sleeping ways were identical to mine. Sleep anytime, anywhere.

"Is it healthy for him to sleep so much," Bella asked as we walked towards the door.

"Nah," I waved her off, "he just follows after his pop."

"I wish I was like that," she gave a smile. It was small, but it was something.

Last night had to have been one of the worst nights of my life. Walking in on Bella's screaming had not only pained me, but terrified me to no end. As I dropped glass of juice and ran to her room, I was only thinking about how I could remove the murderer from the house. I thought I'd been too late when I saw the blood smeared across her face.

After Alice had left, falling asleep had been almost impossible. Her screams and wails disrupted me, every time I was about to drop into unconsciousness. Now I didn't know what was more alarming, that fact that she was broken and currently didn't look like it, or the fact that she was broken, and could spontaneously erupt.

"-and there was SpongeBob and a big, small...with two heads...going to eat me," Auden narrated animatedly.

"Oh really," Bella sounded as if he was telling the most interesting story in the world; I wondered when she would lose interest in Auden's charms.

"Edward, Bella," Alice collected us in her arms before bending down and pecking Auden on the forehead, "Auden."

"Aunty Alice," he whined, "Ewie!"

I chuckled, "You know Auden, girl's don't have cooties."

"Don't tell him that," Alice slapped me, "You don't want him ending up like you."

Ouch. "Thanks Alice."

"It's true! Had a girlfriend every week, poor women," she teased, "I know this one's going to grow up to be heartbreaker. Aren't you Auden?"

"I'm marry Bella," Auden announced. Alice and I chuckled at the blush crossing Bella's cheeks.

"Come on lover boy," Alice tugged him up into her arms. We headed inside the building, going quickly down the hall before we were late to meet Max. He was known to be a moody man.

Emmett and Rosalie opened the door for us, allowing us to enter the office. Immediately, someone removed our coats, asked for our drinks, and presented Auden with a coloring book. That child was spoilt rotten.

"Who's this," Max barked as he kicked his feet up on the table. "No girlfriends Eddie."

"She's not my girlfriend," I corrected him; "This is Isabella Swan."

Bella held her hand out for the man to shake, but he blatantly ignored her.

"Who are you," he repeated, staring Bella squarely in the eyes. _Oh sweet Lord, let him give up easily today. _

I was more than ready to defend Bella, when her strong, firm voice came through, "I believe Edward said I was Isabella Swan. But perhaps were too busy being rude to hear?"

Max's face turned beet red.

"Alright," Jasper intervened, "Max-"

His guffaws filled the room and soon enough, we joined in with forced laughter. The only ones who were not laughing were Bella and Auden.

"Daddy," he tugged on my shirt, "What's the joke?"

"I think I like you," Max finished chuckling, "But sweetie, why are you here?"

"Max…meet the new member of our band," Alice chirped, "Bella."

He was silent for a few seconds before speaking, "Can you sing?"

"I'd like to think so," Bella replied.

"Sing then." He leaned back in his chair.

"R-right now?" she coughed. "Um-"

"There's no shy in famous," he droned, "Now are you going to sing or-"

"_This time we're not giving up," _Bella's strong voice burst in the room, "_Let's make it last forever. Screaming, 'hallelujah'. We'll make it last forever." _

"Enough," Max interrupted, "A little raw –but that could be a nice addition. Any voice training?"

"No," Bella answered.

"Ever sang in front of big crowds,"

"Nope,"

"Did your previous job have anything to do with singing?"

She shook her head, "Does the shower count?"

He chuckled as he scribbled something down. Alice shared a look with me, _he adores her._

"Tell you what Bella," he looked up from the note pad, "I like you. If you're willing to do a few things for me, I'm sure this will be a great experience for you and me both."

"These few things entitle…"

"That," he pointed to her outfit, "for one, has got to go."

Bella's arms crossed at her chest self conscious. I had the sudden urge to thump Max. If he knew what she had been through, he'd be keeping his non-smart-ass comments to himself.

"That shyness thing you got too," he continued, "also got to go. Paparazzi doesn't care if you blush when the cameras come. They find it cute. Cute doesn't land you anywhere in this industry. These are only two of the many changes that you'd have to incorporate into your lifestyle Isabella. If you fail to sustain my standards, then you will be fired. No one here is safe- _Everyone _is dispensable." He shot me a look to which I grinned tightly and close lipped.

"You're in or you're out," Rosalie chirped from her seat, "Decide now."

Bella looked as if she was calculating the most intricate of problems before answering confidently, "I'm in."

"Good," Max smiled and shook hands with her, "Pleasure to meet you Bella."

...

_ I swam and swam, tunneling deeper into the waters of La Push beach. I could see him perfectly. "I'm coming Jacob," my mind screamed. He slipped further under. _

_ My limbs burned from the exertion, a great contrast to the ice water surrounding me. We were white and tan, luminous in the pitch black around us. _

"_Bella," the name came. Bubbles confused the words, but I knew he was calling for me. That was the last thing he said before the water completely consumed me, and I was left in the pitch black waters, alone. _

_ I swam back to the shore, only to be met by his dead and cold body, washed up upon the rocks. I stroked his stone face, no longer the warm cinnamon, but a sickly green tone. "I'm sorry, Jacob. I'm so sorry. I love you, I so sorry," _

I snapped up in my bed, a cry stuck in my throat, and the chill of tears on my cheeks, "I'm so sorry Jacob. I'm so sorry," I rocked in the bed, back and forth…back and forth like the waves that took him from me, "I love you, I'm so sorry,"

Throwing the too suffocating covers off of me, I got out the bed, trailing out my door to where Edward's door was wide open.

I sat in the same spot as the night before, and listened to him mumble. Sometimes my name would pop in there, and sometimes Max's name would as well. Bowling and grapes and Alice and clothes also made their appearance in his night speech.

"_I love…" _ I waited eagerly to hear the end of the sentence, "_green. So green." _

I sighed. How anticlimactic.

About an hour later, I trailed back into my room, loathing the aspect of crawling back into the bed.

"Bell," a small voice called from my door way. I muttered a curse beneath my breath,

"Auden," I sighed, "Sweetie, what's the matter?"

"SpongeBob?" he asked.

"SpongeBob what," I prompted softly.

"Watch SpongeBob, please," he murmured as he trailed over to my bed. The bed reached about his neck. "Please, Bell."

"Aren't you supposed to be sleeping you peanut," I poked his nose, "Why are you out of bed."

A long sentence was said, though I had no idea what words it consisted of.

"Say it again for me Auden, but slower."

"Daddy never wake, every morning but I'm awake," he explained, slightly flustered. "SpongeBob."

"No fussing," I said sternly, "If you ask nicely, I will watch it with you."

"Watch SpongeBob please," he repeated.

I took his hand and shuffled down with him to TV room, contributing the next few hours to the little yellow character. The last thing I remembered was stroking my fingers through strawberry blonde locks.

Pans clattered noisily, waking me from my slumber. However, my eyelids were stuck closed. I mumbled incoherently.

I heard a slap, "Sh. Daddy, Bell sleep!"

"Auden, don't hit daddy," Edwards shocked voice sounded.

"You wake her," Auden accused, another slap sounded. "Bad daddy!"

"Auden!"

My eyes fluttered open.

"See!" Auden pointed.

"What are you doing," I laughed tiredly. I couldn't believe I'd gotten peaceful sleep.

"Trying to finds some pots," Edward said frustrated.

"You cook," I heaved myself off the couch, and stumbled over to the island.

"Hell no –I can't cook to save my life," he chuckled, "We just ran out of bowls for cereal so…"

"Edward Cullen!" my mouth dropped open, "How many times a week do you eat cereal?"

"At least seven," he coughed.

My eyes widened, "Get out the kitchen," I ordered, "Take Auden, and get out."

"Daddy," Auden questioned.

Edward quirked an eyebrow at me before slinging Auden over his shoulder I could hear his snickering as he traveled to the TV room. I opened up the fridge, and peered inside, shocked at how stocked it was. It made no sense. They didn't cook and yet they were loaded. _Probably Alice. _

When I cooked in the kitchen, a piece of home returned. I didn't feel foreign as I cracked the eggs into the pan, or as I sprinkled garlic seasoning over the sausage links. A small hum began as I flipped the pancakes, turning its way into a small song. As I set the juice, fruits and plates on the table, the site of it, pulled my lips into my first genuine and carefree smile in ages.

"This is- wow," Edward sounded from behind me. I jumped, my heart skipping a few beats. Thoroughly embarrassed, a blush replaced my previous smile.

"Well, it's one of the things I can do to thank you for inviting me into your home," I replied.

"That's nonsense," Edward's eyes remained on the food, "This is now your home too..."

"Edward, go eat," I laughed.

"I thought you'd never say that," he placed Auden down on a chair quickly before digging into the food.

"Yum, yum, tum, tum," Auden sang as he ate.

I laughed at his enthusiasm. I side glanced at Edward who's eyes were closed as he ate.

He groaned, "I can't say how good this is Bella because Auden's at the table."

My cheeks burned immediately.

Edward caught the blush, "Oh right, the baby still gets embarrassed when the big bang is mentioned."

"Hey, Auden, look a beetle," I pointed quickly to the kitchen. Auden spun around in his seat. The second he spun around I tore off a piece of pancake, and threw it at Edward.

Edward's mouth formed an 'o' as Auden turned back.

"Where Bell," Auden's brown scrunched, "I don't see it."

"It must have crawled away," I shrugged.

Edward glared at me. At first I thought he was put out that I tricked his son, but I was soon corrected.

"Oh wait I think I saw it," Edward exclaimed, "There it is Auden!"

"Where," Auden spun around again. A spoonful of eggs met my face.

"No beetle!" Auden sighed.

"Maybe next time, bud," Edward wiped his mouth, shielding the smile that was forming.

"Bell," Auden reached for my hair and pulled something out, "Egg."

"Yah, I had a bit of an accident," I gritted, "Thanks."

The rest of the breakfast passed relatively peaceful. The occasional smirk would be shared between Edward and I, or Auden would murmur about random things under the Sun.

"If you'll both excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower," I announced, "Auden, make sure your dad puts your dishes in the dishwasher ok peanut?"

He nodded, cheeks full.

I placed my things in the dishwasher before trailing to my room. I couldn't help, but chuckle as yellow dropped from my hair and onto the shower floor.

After the shower, I pulled on my jeans and grabbed a random sweater from my suitcase. _I'll need to unpack that…_ I made a mental note. Mid brush, a crash sounded downstairs, followed by a long winded scream. I clipped my hair messily before running down the stairs.

Auden sat on the counter, face beet red as he screamed, tears dripping from his eyes. Edward looked half between tears and yelling.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he tried to placate Auden. There was a short silence as Auden took in a second breath and began screeching at a higher pitch, "Auden please, what are you saying."

Auden screamed something unintelligible, pounding his fists on the granite top. Edward put his head in his hands, taking a few frustrated breaths.

"Alright," I came into the kitchen, "Auden, calm down."

His screams continued, as he kicked his feet against the cabinets.

"Auden," I looked him in the eyes, "We can't understand you if you're screaming so you need to calm down if you want to tell Daddy something. Remember what we did when we were watching SpongeBob? Do you want help?"

He quieted down, hiccupping a bit. After a few deep breaths and sniffling, he tried to ask Edward something.

"Ahzhid," it sounded like.

"What is Ahzhid, Auden," I asked.

"Tree." He answered.

"Outside," I finally pieced, "Outside Auden? Do you want to go outside?"

"Ahzhid please," he nodded.

"Outside," I repeated. His hand pressed to my lips, feeling the shape of the word. "Ow-t-sigh-d"

"Outside," Auden tried.

I nodded, "Good job caterpillar." He giggled, remembering the story. "Why don't you ask your daddy now?"

Auden turned to Edward, "Ow-t-sigh-d daddy? Please."

Edward nodded, "In a few minutes ok bud?"

Auden smiled before opening up his arms to be held in a hug by Edward. Edward then set him down leaving Auden to run off.

Edward placed his head back in his hands and was silent for the next few minutes as I cleaned up the broken plate in the sink. Once it was done I hopped onto the counter where Auden had been.

"I can't do anything right," Edward grumbled into his hands.

"You're an idiot," I answered back.

"What?" Edward looked up.

"You heard me," I replied, my cheeks hot, "You're an idiot. If that's what you think then you're certainly less intelligent that I think you are."

"I can't understand my own child."

"Your child doesn't say words properly," I corrected, "It's not like you're ignoring him."

"You don't get it," Edward went off, "You're a complete stranger and in the last couple of days, you seem to have mastered taking care of my child! I've known him for his life and I can't do that! Something must be wrong with me."

"Edward, you're nineteen, you can't be expected to have all the answers," I tried.

"You're seventeen and you don't even _have _a child."

"But I _was _that child," I informed him, "I was the screaming child that no one could understand. I was the child that'd get abandoned in a corner because she couldn't speak and couldn't make friends. The only reason I could help Auden, is because I was him."

Edward was silent for a few moments, "Really?"

"I didn't have friends until I was nine Edward," I raised a brow, "I think I have experience in this department. When no one understands you, you just stop speaking."

"I don't want that to happen to Auden," he shook his head, "But I just get so frustrated and then he starts screaming and it normally ends with him not talking to me for the next few hours."

"You can't be frustrated with him Edward," I glared, "He's the one who can't get out what he's trying to say. He's the one that feel's like your disregarding his wants."

"I know that but how- how do I avoid that."

"The minute he starts whining, you stop it, tell him you can't understand him if he says it like that. Help him Edward, try and guess what he's saying, you can't just expect to understand the second he says it."

Another silence occurred. This time I took it as an implication for me to leave. I hopped off the table and began to head for my room. Edward's hand caught mine,

"How- how did you do that hand thing? I mean, how does it work?"

Without thinking, I took his hand and placed the palm to my lips, "He feels the way your lips move. Then he tries to make his lips move the same way."

Edward's fingers were callous against my face as they brushed my cheek. I didn't mind though, I knew they were musician's fingers. I closed my eyes, relishing in the touch. It'd been so long since someone had touched me intimately. Not sexually intimately I mean, but even as a friend.

"Daddy," Auden burst in, "Outside!"

"Alright," Edward pulled his hand away quickly. My cheeks were the only telltale sign of what happened. "Bella, would you like to come with us?"

_You should let them have father son bonding time…you've been crowding them the whole day. _

"I'm actually still tired," I lied terribly, "I think I'm going to go back to sleep for a few more hours."

Edward raised an eyebrow in question, "You sure?"

"Yah," I waved him off, "Go have fun."

"Bell, not playing?" Auden asked.

"Not right now peanut," I ruffled his curls, "I'm going to go take a nap."

He laughed, "Nap. You big girl Bell."

"I know but big girls get tired too," I smiled, "Have fun you two."

"I'll check in later k?"

I nodded as Edward left with Auden through the door. The tingling feeling of his hands on my face remained with me as they left.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	10. Chapter 10

You and Me: Chapter 10  
"_I can't keep my eyes off of you"_

The next morning, having fallen asleep on the couch after my early morning SpongeBob run with Auden, I woke up at 12 pm, a note from Edward telling of his whereabouts. He and Auden had gone down the park. It seemed as if they spent a lot of time there.

Thinking TV would serve as a good past time, I headed to the family room and switched it on. I was about three shows into the marathon of What Not to Wear, when a voice sounded behind me.

"Stacy and Clinton don't know what not to wear,"

My scream pierced the room, "Alice –don't do that to me!"

"Not my fault," she shrugged as she plopped down next to me. She planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek, "Howdy, Bella."

I gained my breath, "Hey, Alice. Edward's not here."

"I know that," she smiled, "I came to hang out with you, unless you didn't want me to?"

"Of course I do," I backed, "I'd love the company."

"So I haven't been able to talk you properly since…the night we arrived here," Alice hedged, "I'm not going to pressure you, but I want you to know I'm here if you ever need to talk."

"Thanks Alice," I squeezed her hand, "So how long have you and Jasper been married?"

"Not even a year," a goof like smile covered her face, "but it feels like we've been together for so much longer."

"I wish I had someone like that," I sighed, "I guess my time will come eventually."

"You're still young Bella, you have time," she patted my knee.

"I don't get this! I'm only 2 years younger than you all –you make it seem as if you guys are thirty or something."

"Sorry sweetie," she laughed, "You just, have this thing about you. The whole sweet, innocent and shy looking thing; except you didn't look to innocent when you were challenging Max yesterday. Kudos."

"I'm not that shy! I just...don't like picking fights."

"Yah, that would explain the blushing," Alice winked. As if the mention of it triggered it, a blush washed across my face, "Don't worry. It's cute."

"Cute? That's not what a _seventeen _year old wants to hear!"

"Well sorry sweetie." She shrugged, "Had any boyfriends?"

I could tell her the truth, or I could lie…but Alice was someone that I knew I wanted to trust. Maybe it would help me if I began talking about my life…at least a little.

"Yes, just one," I nodded, taking a gulp.

"Oh, bad relationship," Alice clucked, "What's his name?"

I cleared my throat, "His name was Jacob."

"How'd it end…if you don't mind my asking?"

"I didn't feel the same way he did," I admitted, "and one day things just…ended."

_The day he died…_

"I'm sorry. The whole process sucks to be quite honest. Jasper and I had our breaks to find out if we were meant to be. And I'm telling you, some of the guys were complete pricks."

"No, Jacob was perfect," I mumbled, tears already forming, "Sorry. Not the best topic."

"It's ok," she nodded, "Ew. Bella I know it matches, but if you ever wear pink and green together like that. I will kill you. We don't conform to the paparazzi ways, but, we do have standards here. Always looking clean is one of them."

I looked down at my jeans and sweatshirt. "Oh."

"I didn't mean it like that," she shooed me off; "Do whatever you please in the comfort of your own home."

My attention turned to the TV that had a flash news report on the latest celebrities. It was amusing hearing Alice talk about the stars.

"Stella Marge," Alice scoffed, "Most beautiful redhead known to E! TV."

"Oh come on Alice," I laughed, "She really is beautiful. You can't knock her."

"Oh she's beautiful alright," Alice said and then whispered, "She's just not a redhead."

I literally gasped, "Really?"

Alice nodded quickly, "Natural brunette until 10. Burnt every picture of herself before and has her manager sneak her hairstylists to color it."

"She does campaigns for redheads!" I laughed, "Wow."

"That's only the beginning Bella," Alice sighed, "You'll soon learn that 50% of this industry is built off of lies. There are only the choice few that love what they do and not only for the money."

"You guys actually love the music right? You're not in it for anything else…" I asked.

"Of course not, Bella," Alice smacked me with a magazine. _Where did that even come from? _ "You're not like that are you?"

"Heavens no," my eyes widened, "To be honest…along with wanting to be involved with the music, I was escaping from Forks."

"Escaping from what-"

"Bell! Home!" Auden's small voice squealed, "Alice!"

"Hey Denny," she pulled the small boy into her arms and spun him; "Where did you go?"

"Outside," he said perfectly. "Outside, outside, outside!"

"Wow, to the park?" Alice asked.

"Yah," Auden answered.

"Oh really," Alice gave Edward a pointed look, "You told me Auden couldn't go to the park."

"No," Edward said as he hung up his coat, "I told you Auden couldn't go to the park with _you." _

_Ouch. _ "Screw you Edward."

"Hey, hey, child ears in here," I spoke up, "How about I make some lunch."

"I actually have to go to a meeting, but thanks" Alice piped up, "What's the plan for dinner? Jack's?"

"No," Auden screamed, "No Jacks!"

"Ok, ok, no Jacks," Alice held her hands up in defense, "Where haven't we been in a while."

"Maybe we should take in," Edward suggested, "Red Snapper's pretty good."

"We just ate there before we left for Forks Edward," Alice groaned, "Maybe Rose will know?"

"Or, I can make dinner," I offered, "Unless you wanted take out."

"No one ever wants take out," Alice shuddered, "but I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask, I offered," I pointed out. "I'd love to."

"No, no, no," Edward shook his head, "You already made breakfast."

"And I'm about to make lunch," I smiled, "So I might as well make the third meal."

"It's ok-"

"Edward," Alice interrupted, "We have a chance at real food. Don't pass it up."

Edward slapped his hand over Alice's mouth, "Bella, because my sister was dropped on the head as a child…I'll be the one to tell you that you are not cooking dinner for us. You don't have to feel like you're obligated to do it just because you're living here. Really."

"Edward," I sighed, "Shut up."

Alice pumped a fist, "Yes! Ok, what time?"

"What time do you normally eat?"

"Monday, Wednesday's and Fridays we eat by eight o'clock but on Tuesdays and Thursdays we eat by nine."

"You eat together every night," I asked, "Wow. You don't get tired of each other?"

Edward laughed, "Yes. I do."

"Edward likes to go to sleep earlier than Auden, don't mind him," Alice waved Edward off, "Now if you'll both excuse me, I have a meeting to attend. I'll see you at eight?"

"Yah," I nodded. I jumped a little when she wrapped her arms around me, though immediately returned the hug. She gave Edward a peck before running off.

"I'm going to go and get started on the lunch," I patted Edward's shoulder and headed to the kitchen.

I took out all the ingredients and lay them out on the counter, a sense of déjà vu overwhelming me.

"_Honey?" Jacob's hand grabbed mine as he stopped me from reaching for the bottle. He entwined his cool fingers with mine. Jacob was always unnaturally cool. _

"_Yes darling," I giggled. _

_He rolled his eyes, "No- I mean, you're taking out honey, and you're making macaroni and cheese?" _

"_Is there some sort of law saying how I should make macaroni and cheese," I chuckled, "Hands off pup." _

"_Hey, hey, hey," he growled, "I'm anything but small." _

_My cheeks burned red, "Alright macho man," I grumbled, "Let me do my work." _

I turned back to what I was making, a small smile on my face as I worked. I wished memories of Jacob weren't always followed by pain. I set down the pot and leaned back for a moment, taking small breaths to calm myself. _No more break downs, Bella. _

The process was fairly simple, so I was able to finish in record time. It was as I was pouring the honey on top that I was hit with more nostalgia.

_ Jacob passed his finger through the running, viscous liquid, and popped his finger into his mouth. Even I had to admit that it was a sight to see. My cheeks burned red once more, as I snapped his hand away from the honey. Jacob removed the bottle from my grasp and pressed me against the counter. I swallowed, not able to help myself; Jacob was hot. So why did I feel like there was meant to be more when he kissed me. _

_ His large lips enveloped mine, trapping my top lip between his. I tried so hard to feel swept up in the moment, but all it felt was…okay. _

"_Alright," I pushed him back, "I need to put it in the oven."  
_"_No you don't," he came back, and put down the glass pan, "Come on Bella."_

_ He placed kisses down my neck, ignoring me completely. I shut my eyes, hoping that a sudden fire would overtake me. It didn't. _

"_Jacob, stop," I turned, "Really." _

_He sighed and took a step back, "You know what? Some day you're going to want my pretty ass and you won't have it."_

_I chuckled before pecking him, "I guess I'll have to hope that day doesn't come." _

I tear dripped down my face as I placed the pan in the oven.

"Bella," a small voice sounded behind me. I spun around, almost tripping over Auden. I used the dish towel to thoroughly scrub my face of tears.

"Yes sweetie," I put the rag down.

"Hi," he said as he sat down on the ground.

"Hey peanut," I laughed almost maniacally as I picked him up off the floor and placed him on the counter, "What are you doing in here?"

"Daddy sleep," Auden informed me. He poked my face, "Bella crying."

"Yah," I smiled, "But I'm all better now because you came and said hi to me."

He smiled, kicking his feet back and forth on the cabinets.

"Sing." He said.

I turned to him, "That wasn't very polite Auden."

"Sing please," he repeated.

I nodded, "Ok," I went through a mental list, "What song do you want?"

He shrugged. I decided to sing something completely harmless.

"_Hakuna Matata," _I began reenacting Timon's part. Auden squealed in delight. "What a wonderful phrase."

"Hakuna Matata," Auden helped.

"_Ain't no passing craze," _I sang, "_It means no worry, for the rest of your days…It's our problem free, philosophy. Hakuna Matata." _

Auden laughed, completely amused, "More please!"

I stood up on the counter, "_When I was a young warthog! He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal. He could clear the savannah after every meal. I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned. And it hurt that my friends never stood down wind." _

Auden giggled helpless as I lifted the nearest spatula and used it to emphasize my character.

"_And oh the shame! Thought of changing my name! And I got down hearted…Every time that I_-_"_

"Daddy," Auden cheered. I opened my eyes and effectively slipped off of the counter. I was met by a really hard floor.

"Bella fall!" Auden exclaimed. "Bad Daddy."

"Ow, Auden, no hitting," Edward growled. Someone's still a bit tired. And I'm a bit in need of an ice pack.

I opened my eyes, only to see Edward and Auden hovering over me. "Are you ok?"

"Mhmm," I mumbled, my vision unsteadying, "Hakuna Matata."

...

"Are you sure ok?"

I pulled the ice pack off of my head, "Yah," I laughed, "My fault for dancing on the counter…sorry about that."

Edward chuckled, "It's ok, and we all do at some point. I mean, you are only _seventeen _years old."

I threw the wet washcloth at him, giving him a scowl. However, I couldn't help the smile that lingered beneath it. I sat up while Edward took a seat on the couch, pulling my feet into his lap.

His voice was quiet as he spoke, "Auden told me you were crying earlier."

I swallowed, "I'm fine now."

"Am I really supposed to believe that?"

"Could you please?" I begged, my voice quieting, "Please, Edward."

"Ok," he raised he hands in defeat, "I just want you to be ok."

"I am," I squeezed his hand, "Really. Contrary to you all's belief, I'm not a little girl."

Edward snorted, "Sure."

I stuck my tongue out, "How was lunch?"

Edward's head dropped back as he moaned. Just from the sounds my cheeks had darkened, "Delicious –are you blushing? Man Bella."

"I can't help it," I growled and pulled the pillow over my face.

The pillow was removed in an instant. I opened my eyes to see Edwards face centimeters from mine, "Don't ever be ashamed of it. You're beautiful."

I closed my eyes, gravitating towards him. Our foreheads touched together, his hot and mine freezing cold from the ice, then our noses, then… I shifted my head, letting our cheeks touch together as I pulled him into an embrace. Edward and I don't like each other like that, and I wouldn't let a compliment trick me into thinking that.

"Thank you…for not expecting me to be anything," I whispered, "I'm really trying."

"I know you are," he replied, his volume at the same level as mine.

I pulled back from him, taking my arms from around his waist. He pressed a tender kiss to my forehead as he pulled back.

"How about we go for a walk around the neighborhood?" He asked.

"I'd love too," I smiled, "but I should probably get started on dinner."

He nodded, "Alright, I'll just hang in here, unless you want some help-"

"No," I nearly shouted, "You're not allowed in the kitchen!"

He chuckled as I left.

Once in the kitchen I was at a loss as to what I would cook. I stared at the ingredients in the pantry hoping to gain some inspiration. I was utterly disappointed. It was once I glanced in the fridge that I was struck with my theme. _Garlic, Serrano, Cremini Mushrooms…_It all spoke Italian to me. Well not literally, but that's where I got the theme from.

I put the pasta in the pot, and began to clean out the bowls I used. _Hm…a nozzle. _Not even the kitchen back home had a chrome nozzle this nice.

"Wow Bella, you're admiring nozzle's," I snorted to myself.

I turned on the pressure high, and began cleaning the pans and bowls. I noticed that there was a button at the end of the handle. _Probably to adjust the length…_I reached down, fascinated and dorkishly excited about using the nozzle. The button was a bit hard to press, but I was able to push it.

Biggest mistake of my life.

The nozzle dropped off of the hose, leaving the high pressured water to spurt all around me. Water sprayed in my face, up my nose and in my eyes blinding me as I tried to find the nozzle head that I dropped.

Finally, after groping blindly, I was able to switch off the faucet. I spit the mouthful of water out into the sink and found the nozzle head laughing at me on the floor. I picked it up and chucked it onto the counter top angrily.

I didn't want to but there was no towel in my bathroom so I was in desperate need of Edward's help. I stomped my way back to the family room and stood in the doorway dripping. _I'll wipe up the stupid floors later…_

"Edward," I grumbled. He sat, legs propped up and Auden's head in his lap as he read a novel.

"Yup," he looked up from the book, removing his glasses to look at me. His look of concern quickly evaporated into bouts of laughter. Auden quickly joined him. I didn't find it funny at all.

"Bella, wet!" Auden cheered.

"I. know," I growled, "Would anyone like to show me where the towels are."

"No –I need my camera first," Edward ran

out the room.

"Edward," I called out, running and proceeding to slip. I cussed. Auden can careening after, dropping onto me having slipped in the same puddle. I couldn't help it any longer. I began laughing as well. A flash went off. "Edward!"

"Just priceless," he sighed as he dropped a towel on me, "What happened to you?"

I got up and helped up Auden, giving Edward a glare, "I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm sure you don't," Edward snickered, "What happened?"

"Nothing," I growled before sticking out my tongue and stomping down the hall. I know, mature, but I wasn't a happy camper.

A few moments later I emerged from the shower, shrieking as I almost had a cardiac arrest.

Positioned on the bed was Alice, her legs crossed genie style and eyes shut peacefully.

"Alice," I gasped, "Don't _do _that!"

"You….are…a…wimp," her voice started off ominous before she erupted into a fit of giggles, "You should have seen the look on your face Bella. I have to tell Edward –he should do it to you more often!"

I threw the nearest object at her almost hitting her. She laughed as she dodged it effortlessly, rolling off the bed.

"I brought a dress over," she smiled as she got herself off the floor, "Speaking of which we need to go through your wardrobe soon and create a comfort drawer, an outings drawer, and completely redo your closet. In the meantime strip and change."

Noticing that she wasn't making any signs of moving, I grabbed my clothes to change in the bathroom.

"Oh _please _Bella, I've have everything you have only for two years longer –and I sleep with a man. You can change in front of me."

My face darkened, but not for the reason she probably thought it did. I was not embarrassed about changing in front of her (well, maybe a little). No, I didn't want Alice to see my body. To see the discolored, thin but noticeable lines that I had inflicted upon myself. That I still, sometimes, inflict on myself when days get unbearable. They'd already seen the beginnings of my breakdowns and I didn't want to give them any other reason to get rid of me.

"I'm very shy about being naked in front of people," I lied, "Can't I just go and change in the closet?"

"Ok," she sighed, "But come out in your pasties, I need to help you into your dress –and don't use that shy excuse again. No one cares about bras and underwear. No arguing Bella, just do it."

I groaned and traveled into the large expanse of a closet. Once my mismatched bloomers were adorned I came from out of the closet my hands gripping my hips in what I hoped to be a casual stance.

"Would you please lift your arms so I can put this dress on you?"

"Alice, I'm very capable of dressing myself," I huffed in desperation, "Just hand me the dress."

"You can't put on this dress by yourself there's too many layers and crossing, just let me help you in! Rosalie never lets me dress her."

"I'm not going to let you either," I argued.

Her piercing green eyes speculated me; in an instant reminding me that she, Emmett and Edward were all related it. I could see their similarities just from the glare that penetrated my shield of comfort.

"You're hiding something," her perfectly plucked eyebrows furrowed, "You're knuckles are white, your cheeks are red and you're unusually defensive."

I turned to stalk back into her closet before her small pixie body was pulling me onto the bed, attacking me.

"Alice, get off!" I protested.

For someone who was like 100 or less pounds, Alice was quite the beast. She pinned my arms above my head, her eyes raking over my body –inspecting. She finally found it.

"What are these?" she pointed to the scars at my hips. "How'd you get them?"

"They're razor blade cuts," I tried to sound casual.

"How did you get them," she repeated, tracing the thin scratches.

"I cut myself," I cleared my throat.

Her breath hitched as she crawled off of me, "How long ago was the last one," she questioned about the faint pink line.

"About a month ago," I answered.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Alice's tiny hand pulled at mine. I looked up to see her confused gaze, which was oddly more comforting than I expected. If I had seen that same sympathetic stare that everyone seemed to unleash on me, I would've been much more unpleasant. I couldn't take any more sympathy, from anyone. But instead of being sympathetic, Alice just wanted to understand. I guessed in some way, she wanted to know so she could be a part of my life. I supposed it was only fair seeing as I was a part of hers now. Though the thing was I wanted her to be a part of my life. As reserved as I was, and as much as I insisted that I was 'fine', I was tired of it constantly being Bella vs. world. So I let her in. She dressed me as I told her.

_ I woke up another morning, unfortunately. However this morning something was different. I didn't feel the pain anymore…I didn't feel anything. _

_ I rose from the bed and stumbled to begin my daily routine. But even this routine didn't feel like it normally did. There was no mix of tears, no random moments of gasping or curling into balls. Of course these feelings had been subsiding over the past few weeks due to my new habit, but after James found out I had to quit. He threatened to throw me out and I was in no position to be on the streets. _

_ I searched through my drawers for a comfortable shirt when I came across a picture of woman auburn hair, light caramel eyes and a familiar small nose. Age had taken the freckles from her, but had done nothing to the bright blush that was across her face. She was holding a small parcel, a bubbling baby girl with tufts of what appeared to be blonde hair that would darken by the time she was four. I wondered if the woman knew that her daughter would grow to look like a replica of her. That she would share the same doe eyes, disproportioned pink lips, and pale skin as the bundle in her arms. The only thing they wouldn't share was the blindingly beautiful smile the mother had on her face. They'd never share that because the child could never be happy as a woman, and the mother wouldn't be alive to ensure that she could be. _

_ I was waiting for the normal heart wrenching pain that would grip me as I found remnants of my mother, but as I looked at Renee it didn't come. And that scared the hell out of me. _

_Having no care about James and his threats, I found the Gillette appliance and deconstructed it. The slim piece of cold metal felt familiar as I gripped it between my fingertips. My hand was trembling as I lifted the hem of my shirt, and began etching into my skin with the razor blade._

_Finally I felt it. Pain. _

"You were scared of not feeling pain," Alice asked. I nodded.

"If anything the pain reminds me that I love them still," I tried to explain, "Having no emotion…it's worse than the pain. It's like purgatory."

"You said _them,_" Alice picked up on my words, "You've lost more than just your mother…What about Chief Swan?"

I was completely silent. I couldn't go that far. Not today. This was already too much.

Alice winced as she picked up on my discomfort to answer, "Do you still do it? I mean, will you do it again?"

"I want to say no Alice, I honestly do –but I can't tell the future. I think…I think being here with you guys is helping me get better."

A small smiled formed, "That's good. I'm sure the others would be relieved to know they're helping you in some way-"

"No," I shouted, ripping my hand from out of hers, "You can't tell anyone. Not even Jasper."

"But Bella, if they can help you…if they know what not to do to prevent these break downs you have-"

"No," my voice escalated almost to the point of hysteria. There was something about the thought of them conversing and talking behind my back that ate at me. As if they were strategizing how to act with me. I wanted them to act normal with me. And no matter how broken I was, I was _normal. _I deserved to be treated as such. I couldn't take if I got one more of those damn _sympathetic _stares.

"This isn't only affecting you Bella," Alice's voice rose, "You're a part of our family now."

"You don't know me," I yelled, "If you guys knew me you could never love me."

"We're trying to know you but you're too damn stubborn," her level of loudness matched mine, "We're not trying to embarrass you. We just care."

Her voice suddenly became soft, "But if you don't feel the same about us, I understand. It's only been a few days, but we're able to tell who family is."

"It's not that," I tried to get a grip on my emotions, my hand wound tightly around a small glass paperweight on the dresser that had been resting on a pad of papers.

"Then what the hell is it," she fumed, "stop being so evasive and answer me. I know you're in pain but

this isn't fair! I really like you Bella, but I can't be there for you when I keep getting the impression that you don't give a crap about me or my family."

"_I do care!" _ I threw the paperweight across the room, sending it crashing into the door, "But everyone I care about -dies!" I coughed on the word as I collapsed into a fetal positioned on the floor. Gravestones flashed before my eyes in quick images.

_Renee Dwyer, Loving mother, wife, daughter with a charismatic and kind spirit…._

_Charlie Swan, Beloved father, husband and son, silent but loving, honorary member of FPD _

_Jacob Ephraim Black, beloved boyfriend, best friend, son, brother and spirit of Quileute tribe… _

"What is going on in here," Jasper's alarmed tone sounded. _Oh no, _he probably thought I tried to hurt Alice. Spurts of panic asphyxiated me, causing wheezing sounds to come from me, as my heart pounded against my rip cage. At least I knew it was still there. "Alice, are you hurt?"

"No, no," even I could hear the tears in her voice, "Just help Bella."

Air. Was there still air in here? My stomach heaved; maybe it was trying to force the air out or the contents of earlier today. I was able to push myself and rush to the bathroom, releasing everything I felt in the form of sickness.

"Shh," Alice's voice soothed, as my bawls were amplified in the bathroom. "You're ok."

"I'm sorry," I cried as I clutched onto her, "I'm so sorry. I do care. I do. I'm so sorry."

"Shh," she rubbed my back, like the perfect sister. I could feel her forgiving me already, and I didn't deserve it. All I had been was a drama and burden since I reached this house. I wondered how many times I'd cried since being here, "Jasper, she's hyperventilating!"

I was wasn't I?

"What the hell is going on here," Rosalie's sharp tone snapped, "Everyone. Get out. _Now._"

I heard the bathroom door lock as Rosalie tried to lower herself on the ground, "Ugh, this is nasty. Are you done puking?"

All I could do was take sharp breaths in try to focus on her lips moving. I felt dizzy and was on the brink falling into unconsciousness. A perfumed hand was suddenly beneath my nose and I realized that her hand was on top my mouth, which happened to be my only breathing source since my nose was clogged. At first I thought that Rosalie was attempting to kill me. I didn't think she hated me _that _much. In a few seconds I had stopped breathing all together and felt surprising calm after thrashing against her hands. She released me and although I felt light headed, my breathing was slowing.

"Ok," she wiped her hands on her jeans, "I don't know what is going on or what you've been through but you have to get your crap together."

"What," I stuttered. I wasn't looking for sympathy, but I definitely hadn't been expecting that.

"I'm saying this because –so help me I'll kill you if you repeat this- I _kind of _care for you and the Hollywood world will eat you apart. So I'm telling you now, back out or stay in. No one will think less of you."

I had already made this decision, "I'm staying Rosalie," my voice was firm.

"Ok, then let us in," Rosalie slightly demanded, "This won't work out if you don't let us help. Even if you don't let us in, we're going to help. So choose which one you want, force or allowance?"

Her approach was much different, giving me ultimatums instead of questioning. I wasn't sure which one I preferred.

"I..want your help," I found myself saying, "But you can't expect me to be fine all of a sudden."

"No," she shrugged, "But as long as you know you _can _get better, that's a start. Now get up so I can straighten you out, we're starving down there and you owe me dinner."

"Why are you acting like this…so nice to me," I asked as she brushed through my hair, gently admiring it.

"I'm not going to say it again after this so listen carefully," she huffed, "I like you Bella; I can already see the good changes around here…especially with Auden. I really appreciate it. Plus, you're like the little sister I've always wanted corrupt."

I snickered, turning around and wrapping my arms around her curved waist.

"What are you doing," she tried to put back her tough exterior, failing miserably as she gave me a chaste hug. She pulled my hair into a soft braid, "Ok, come on, I'm hungry."

Of course Rosalie acted as if I didn't exist as soon as we left the room. Though I couldn't help but smile at the fact that we'd had that exchange. This night had been such an event. Feelings had been shared or rather shouted, I'd felt pain, I'd felt change and I'd felt…frightened. But as I walked into the room I faced the gazes that I thought I would loathe and I was surprised. Not one of the pairs of eyes that followed me held sympathy in them. Instead I was being showered by expressions of care and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel anything. Truth is, even though I'd known them for a short time, and it seemed impossible to harbor such feelings for technical strangers, I felt care for every one of them. Though she'd probably hate me for saying it to her, I was at least able to admit to myself that I even cared for Rosalie, the blonde lioness who restarted my life with the Cullens.

* * *

(DarkMo0nStars: I officially love you –in a complete non stalker way- You've made me smile.)

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	11. Chapter 11

You and Me: Chapter 11  
"_One of the things"_

Why do I miss everything? As Jasper and Alice returned to Emmett and me, I couldn't help but hound them down for answers. Jasper's arm was wound tightly around Alice's petite waist. Alice's normally vibrant and excited eyes were a dull green, clouded by the puffiness of her eyes.

"What the hell happened," I asked, immediately forgetting to filter seeing as Auden was right there. "Hey bud, why don't you go and play for a bit until dinner's ready?"

"Hungry," he grumbled.

"Go play Auden."

He scurried out of the dining room, sensing that I was serious. I turned to my family.

"Really, what's going on? Jasper why do you look confused, Alice why are you crying and why the hell would you all leave Bella alone with _Rosalie._"

Emmett punched my arm, giving me a glare.

"What you're scared of her too," I shrugged.

"Edward, shut the-"

"Bella threw something and then she was crying-"

"Everyone shut up," Alice yelled, "We're not talking about any of this. Now I know what she meant about being talked about. I'm such an ass."

"What did you do Alice," I sighed, "Where's Rosalie and Bella?"

"Upstairs," Alice answered, "I pushed Bella a little too far."

Emmett groaned, "She probably threw herself over the balcony."

"Or Rosalie threw her over," I grumbled. I caught the fork Emmett through at me. I couldn't help it, I loved Rosalie to death but sometimes she could be a real dog. Plus, pushing Emmett's buttons was fun.

"This isn't funny," Alice snapped. I guess it really wasn't. Normally Alice was as playful as Emmett, "I really hurt her."

I squeezed Alice's hand, "I'm sure she'll forgive you, even if you do have an enormous mouth."

She placed her head in her hands, "I'm telling you, I really did it this time. Just look at her when she comes down. _If _she comes down."

Auden padded back into the room throwing himself on my lap before he could get told off for not obeying me. He definitely knew how to push me over, finding every one of my soft spots and using them against me. I passed my fingers through his unruly hair, knowing I'd have to deal with it someday. That was a trait he definitely gained from me.

He mumbled something that I didn't bother to ask what it meant. His words were directed into my lap so I suppose it wasn't _that _important. I pulled him into my lap admiring his face. No matter how many times a day I saw him I could always stare at my child. Freaky? Yes. Would that ever stop me? No.

There was a shift in the room as two new presences appeared. I turned to see Rosalie, still as stunning as she always was, with that cold gaze that she almost_ always _had, and Bella, looking admittedly good in a simple, summer dress and her hair pulled into a loose braid. Her face was still pale, her bright red cheeks and nose a contrast to skin, as well as her large brown eyes were watering.

"Bell!" Auden exclaimed before running out of my lap. I'm surprised that she didn't fall over with the force at which he slammed into her. I was also a bit cautious with him being so close with her after what happened. Not in the way that I thought Bella would hurt him, but I didn't want her to have to force herself to be happy just because Auden was there. Though as she leant down and pulled my little boy onto her hip, I knew that Bella wasn't forcing any emotions, and I couldn't help but like her a little bit more for that.

"Well hello there peanut," she chuckled. What was this peanut business? "Are you hungry?"

He nodded at first until Bella gave him look with her eyebrow raised, "Yes Bell."

She smiled, "How's about I get you some grub then," she put him down and headed to the kitchen while Rose took her position.

"What did you _do,_" Jasper's eyes' were wide open, "She's…breathing."

"I helped," she sipped her wine, "Now if any of you mention anything about this after I finish speaking, I will personally castrate you. Understood? Let's go help Bella with the food, she's not our servant."

We all sat there, mouths agape for a few moments before we followed Rose into the kitchen. I wanted to know what it was that happened that could cause Rose to have such a tie with Bella. Rose didn't stand up for anyone, unless she really cared for them. And for her to stand up for them against her own family… could this day get any weirder?

"I could have brought the plates out," Bella said as we entered the kitchen.

"Absolutely not," Emmett boomed, "what kind of people do you think we are Bells? Where do we start?"

I gave Emmett an appreciative glance as he gave me a subtle thumb up. I took a plate for Auden first and filled it with the angel hair pasta. Afterwards I topped it with the juicy pieces of seasoned chicken and tomato based sauce. I could feel myself drooling.

"Emmett, sweetie, other people have to eat," Rose said tightly, "Take one serving and come back if you're still hungry."

"Oh, it's ok Rosalie, I made some extra just in case," she shrugged, "he can take as much as he would like."

Emmett nearly dropped his plate, "I love you."

Bella's face turned beet red before nodding back at him. Auden was getting to be quite annoying as he tugged at my shirt, whining endlessly.

"What, what do you want Auden," I sighed. He mumbled something that I just couldn't hear. "What?"

"I ….dinner…something…please," it wasn't even like he was opening his mouth.

"Auden, what are you trying to say," I sighed harder, becoming frustrated.

Someone cleared their throat. I looked up to see Bella giving me a pointed stare._ Oh, right, _I took a deep breath.

"Can you try and speak slower? What about dinner? Do you want some?"

"No," he said, "Don't like it."

"You've never had it before Auden," I tried reasoning with him.

"No," he repeated beginning to whine again.

"Do you want Mac n' Cheese," I suggested.

"Edward, no, he needs to eat what we give him. You can't keep doing this every time he doesn't want to eat something, which is _every time." _

"I can't force him," I turned to Alice, "can we please not do this now."

"Yes you can force him," Alice bickered. You'd think after what happened with Bella that she'd remember her boundaries but of course. She didn't.

"Don't want it!" Auden yelled at Alice.

"Auden," Alice gasped at him.

"Auden, apologize to Alice and Bella," I said as sternly as I could muster. I hated being strict with him, but I couldn't let him get away with that.

"No, don't want it!" he threw himself on the floor and began crying. Feeling horrible that he was so distraught I leant down to pick him up.

"Don't," Bella stopped me, handing me a plate with my food. "Everyone, leave him and go into the dining room."

I stared at her, "Are you crazy? I'm not leaving my child on the floor-"

"Trust me," she said. I gazed at her pure expression battling at what to do. I hated taking parenting advice, but it seemed that the things Bella did worked more than the methods I used. So feeling like the world's biggest douche father, I left him crying on the floor.

"What are we trying to achieve by doing this," I groaned as I placed his plate by his seat.

"The crying, is his form of seeking attention and getting you to cave in," she reminded, "which is what you were doing."

I sighed, "It's just easier –what's the harm in just getting him something else?"

"What, cereal," she raised a brow, "no matter how special, and charming Auden is, you can't give into his every whim. No, show him that you're _his _father. He obeys you, not the other way around."

I nodded, having heard this many times before but always struggling to apply it.

I almost crapped myself when the crying stopped. I was about to race to the kitchen to see what had happened to him before Bella's hand snatched my shirt, keeping me planted on the seat.

"Wait," she whispered and pointed at the door.

Out came Auden, sniffling and hiccupping as he wrapped his arms around Alice first. His next words surprised me, "Sorry Auntie Ally."

Auden had never said he was sorry without prompting. I wasn't sure if I was elated, or felt even more inadequate compared to Bella. It was unsettling to have to feel this.

"Sorry Bell," Auden wrapped his short fingers around Bella's thumb.

"Thank you, peanut," she poked his nose.

Last, but I hoped not least, Auden hugged onto me tightly, "Sorry Daddy."

How could I _ever _be angry at that voice or face? "It's ok, Denny. Ready for dinner?"

"Yes," he answered. I lifted him and placed him on the heightened chair. I stroked his face, the tenderness and softness of his face comforting me. He will always be my little boy.

We started eating, a chorus of groans sounding as we ate Bella's food. A small smile was on her lips as she ate, enjoying the praise. If this is how happy she was when six people were appraising her, imagine how she would be when she was in front of a crowd.

"What is this called," Jasper asked, "Tastes Italian and is simply delicious."

"Yah this stuff is ass kickin' Bells," Emmett was able to spit through his full mouth.

Her cheeks turned red, "It's um, Chicken Cacciatore."

"Why can't she live with us," Emmett turned to Rose, "You like her even though you won't admit it. It would be fun…and not hungry."

Rose scowled at him before turning to Bella, "This is good."

"Thank you Rosalie," Bella nodded, "There's enough for seconds definitely if you all would like some, but I made desert so make sure you have room. It's not much but its filling. Do you guys like coffee?"

Emmett snorted, "Rose has six cups a day."

"I have three, thank you very much," Rose glared at him once more. We all nodded as our answers.

"Good."

"Me?" Auden asked Bella.

"Of course I made something _special _for you," she smiled before her expression changing as she turned to me, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't even ask you if he was allowed to have something or if he was allergic-"

"It's ok Bella," I patted her hand across the table, "He can…and he's not. Only thing he's allergic to is water chestnuts."

"Ew," Auden wrinkled his nose, "Nasty."

I chuckle before announcing, "I'm stuffed!"

I received a glower from Bella, that was actually quite frightening, "Never mind," I back tracked.

"Uncle Em!" Auden shouted.

"Ow! Auden, no hitting," Emmett snapped his hand back.

"My food," he stated.

We were all deathly silent. Bella really is a miracle.

"Why am I a miracle," Bella asked me. _I said that out loud? _

"Bella, I don't think you understand what just happened. Auden, stopped Emmett from eating his food," Jasper said, "Which means that he didn't want Emmett to take it. This means that he wanted it and that never happens."

"Auden's diet consists of hamburgers, french-fries, turkey, sandwiches waffles, sugared cereal and on his good days bananas," Rosalie informed her.

Bella's smile grew as she turned to Auden, "Do you like the food peanut?"

Auden nodded quickly, "Yum, yum in my tum."

I shook my head, amazed. What else is she going to do, stop Global warming?

"Ok," Bella put her hands in her lap contentedly, "Who's ready for desert?"

"Me!" Auden chimed.

"Am I allowed to give him his desert now," Bella asked.

"Yah," I shrugged, "He ate at least half, that's more than I can ask for."

Bella rose from the chair and headed to the kitchen, telling us all to head to family room and that she'd bring us the desert. At first we all objected saying that we'd help but she refused saying that she could bring it out on a tray. I hated the idea of Bella _serving _us but she seemed happy at doing it. Plus, she wouldn't let me near the kitchen.

We lounged in the chairs, Auden playing silently with his toy car on the floor. Sometimes I worried about how silent he was while playing or in general. Of course he had his moments where he was obnoxiously loud, but I normally let him be because on a regular basis Auden was a quiet boy. Even I as a child created crazy scenarios and performed monologues to audiences of teddy bears. Auden hadn't even once had an imaginary friend, and didn't have many true friends outside of school. It was something that we worked at, but he never seemed to click with the children. I wondered if it was because of his speech problems; Bella had said she didn't have friends until she was 9 years old. I did _not _want Auden to be like that.

"I'm fine," I heard Alice's soft voice. I realized that she hadn't said a word throughout dinner.

"Alright folks," Bella placed the tray down on the table. I now felt like a true dick as I saw how much she had carried in. The tray was filled with six tea cups, six spoons, a container with some sort of cream, and a coffee pot.

She placed out the six cups and quickly scooped what appeared to be an off white, vanilla ice cream into them. Afterwards she poured the hot, black liquid on top of it, finishing the cups off with dash of cinnamon and then nutmeg on top. The spoons were then popped in each of the delicate cups. She did all of this in under approximately two minutes.

"Grab them quickly," she urged, "Before the cream melts!"

We all raced towards the cups, picking them up carefully before setting in our seats and taking the much anticipated sip.

Heaven seeped into my mouth, passing my teeth and wrapping around my tongue. There was a slight bitterness until the sweetness and cold sensation of the cream overtook the flavor. My chest warmed from the hot but thankfully not scalding drink.

"Ah, Espresso," Rosalie didn't hide her appreciation at all, "my favorite."

"You know I was never a big fan of coffee but this, this hits all the right spots. It's now on my O.I.T list."

"O.I.T," Bella raised a brow.

"Orgasm Inducing Things," Emmett wiggled his brows suggestively. Jasper threw a pillow at him, careful not to spill his coffee on my leather sofas. Alice had her eyes closed, reclining and relaxing as she sipped the coffee.

"OK," Bella said, "They're ready."

"What are ready," I asked. I hadn't even realized she had left the room to get something until she was there, standing with a plate that looked like…cookie Smores.

"Me?" Auden asked excitedly.

"Especially for you," she grinned as she handed one of the sticky delights to him. Auden was almost bouncing off the walls with pleasure.

_I guess he had gotten tired of popsicles for desert. _

The rest of us dug in, Rose slapping Emmett's hand as he tried to take four. The only person who didn't take yet was Alice. She held her mug as if contemplating her next move. I was really starting to worry about her. Obviously she could see that Bella was fine. Couldn't she?

"Bella," Alice finally spoke, "May I speak with you outside."

Bella looked a bit wary, but nodded her head anyways. For the second time in one night, I wondered what the hell was going on.

**Bella's Point of View **

I could feel the all the tension stored within her small frame as she pulled me out of the back door. We sat ourselves down on the patio step, looking at the changing lights of the large pool. I wondered how large this thing was. Three waterfalls at different levels poured into the large body of water, Jacuzzi's being their source. My gaze was snapped away from the pool as Alice pulled out a cigarette and lighted it.

"You smoke," I turned to her, eyes wide.

"I'm not addicted," she shrugged about to put it in her mouth before I ripped it from her fingers and ground it into the tile.

"It's not healthy, whether or not you're addicted," I scolded. Alice looked at the cigarette as if she wanted to take out another.

"What did you need me for Alice," I asked her.

She tapped on her leg as she tried to look me in the eyes. It was as she did this that I finally connected the reason behind her actions. Alice was nervous. I felt horrible that I was the cause of this nervousness. I claimed her hand in mine, "You know I was never really angry at you Alice. I'm sorry I blew up at you, it's just a sensitive subject."

"I just want so badly for us to be close already," Alice gave a small laugh, "I know it sounds weird but I want us to be a giant family again. After Tanya left, we lost a sense of togetherness. Somehow, I just know that you're going to fix that."

I swallowed, "What if I can't fix it?"

"Bella," Alice patted my leg as she stood up, "I have an uncanny ability at predicting the future." She held out her hand for me to take and helped me off the ground. She pulled me into a hug as I stood, something I still wasn't as used to, but relished in the feeling it.

"I'm sorry too," she said.

I nodded as I placed my arms around her frail frame.

"Don't _ever _do it again," Alice's fierce voice slightly frightened me.

"What, Alice," I feigned stupid.

"Bella," her voice grew harder, "I'm serious. Never."

"Ok," I sighed, "Ok, Alice."

"Are you girls alright out here," the familiar velvet voice sounded from behind us. I turned around and saw Edward leaning like an Adonis, watching us.

"Perfect," Alice smiled genuinely. "Bella and I were just heading inside."

"Actually, I wanted to speak with Bella," Edward said.

"I have a feeling I'll be getting life lessons from everyone today," I chuckled nervously.

Alice nodded as she squeezed my hand and headed into the house.

"You know Edward; I don't know how much you can say that I haven't heard as yet. But your family doesn't cease to surprise me," I raised a brow at him as I sat back down on the patio step. I felt the unusual heat of his body grow closer as he sat down next to me.

"Are you ok," he asked.

I nodded, "Just got a bit flustered."

"That didn't sound like flustered," he commented, "We're really going to have to figure something out."

My pulse quickened, "I can understand if you don't want me living here anymore."

"Bella, shut up," he chuckled, "I just meant…to avoid this from ever happening again."

"I can't just avoid it, it sneaks up on me," I laughed without humor, "You all just need to know that regardless of what I share with you, it doesn't reflect what I feel about you. You're all…my family now."

"That seemed hard for you to say," Edward stroked the back of my hand almost absentmindedly. "I'm not forcing you to say anything Bella. Say it when you're ready."

Taking his hand in mine, I made sure to say it more surely, "You _are _my family now."

* * *

(Live. And. Breath. Books (Ari): I know it's less than 35 days by now, but I hope you have a wonderful wedding day and God Bless for your marriage!)

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	12. Chapter 12

You and Me: Chapter 12  
"_That I want to say"_

"Bella," Jasper sounded from behind me, "Alice was asking for us all to meet. She has an announcement."

I nodded as I brushed my dress off and headed towards the family room. I made small talk with Jasper as we waited for Edward to return. About twenty minutes later, Edward entered looking withdrawn. He had just put Auden to bed, and I could see that the day was wearing on him.

"Alright, what's the news," Edward asked as he took a seat beside me.

Alice perched herself on the edge of the sofa, her bubbling excitement returned, "Max said he wanted us to compete for Cover night."

There was a chorus of one long moan.

I gulped, "Cover night?"

Alice nodded excitedly, "I know, wonderful right? Oh Bella, in two days we get to take you to get a makeover! I'd do it myself, but Max insisted for your premier we go professional," her face scrunched in the end, "Although I argued that I'm more professional anyone-"

"Alice, honey," Jasper calmed her down immediately, "Bella doesn't even know what cover night is."

"Basically, a group of famous and unknown bands get together and do their versions of popular songs from certain time periods. Then the crowd does a vote for which band they think covered the song the best. It's something that started off local, but once we crashed it other mainstream bands joined in. All of the profits made from the night go the charity of the winning bands choice," Edward explained.

I nodded in understanding, "So what year is it this year?"

"We've _finally _got 2008," Jasper groaned, "and its Emmet's turn to pick."

Emmett pumped a fist, "Already got one in my noggin. Don't even complain Jasper, we had to sing your song for the 80's."

"What did you pick?" I asked.

"_In Love with the 80's, Pink Tux to the Prom_," Jasper winced.

"The judges almost had a fit because the song isn't actually from the 80's, but they let them pass," Rosalie said, "at least I got to see Emmett in a pink tux…"

I almost spat out the coffee I was drinking, "How did you-"

"Let's _not _talk about this," Emmett cut in, "Alright, drum roll please…"

We all stared at him, not moving an inch. He rolled his eyes, pulled out a pair of drumstick from only God knows where and began drumming.

"Em, I told you to stop hiding those things all over the house," Edward growled.

The drumming got louder, "And the song is…Remembering Sunday from All Time Low's album _'So Wrong. It's Right_," released from iTunes in 2008."

Thankfully I knew the song very well. It would unnerve me more if I had to learn something from scratch.

"So what do you think Bella," Alice asked me, "Excited?"

"Does excited make you feel like puking?" I tried to laugh through the nervousness.

"Don't worry Bells, you'll do great. Heck, Eddie couldn't eat for the whole day when we first performed live. Granted he didn't puke on stage-"

"Emmett shut up," Rosalie slapped the back of his head, "It's in the next week and a half so you all should probably start practice tomorrow. I have schedules printed out that I'll drop off tomorrow on my way to Axe Records. We're going to be discussing the album."

Edward sighed as he leaned back, "This is going to be a long week."

We all said hour goodbyes soon, Emmett almost killing me when I gave him food to take home. I sunk into my bed, exhausted from the night's events, yet all the same excited at the aspect of my first band practice with the guys.

...

Auden had come into my room, his timing was like clockwork. I'd woken up literally five minutes before he'd toddled into the room, a blanket trailing behind him.

He didn't even have to ask me as I carried him to the TV room. Tonight, instead of SpongeBob we watched Diego, which was slightly unbearable, but it was fun to see Auden excited. A few times I had to quiet him down because of his enthusiasm. Through the third episode, Auden was knocked out on my lap, softly snoring.

I was up in the next few hours. Auden had walked back to his bed and was now still sleeping, as was Edward. It was odd how much that little boy slept and I understood now what Edward meant by 'he was his father's child.'

The food seemed to be flying from out of the pots and pans as I made breakfast for anyone and everyone who would be coming in and out of the door. It was as Emmett rang the door and came in that I realized I'd over done it.

His eyes were wide, "Bella…"

"I- I overdid it didn't I?"

"This is like a food wet dream," he said as he walked over slowly to the kitchen. "Should I be scared?"

"I don't know, I am," I froze from mixing the pancake batter, "I don't even remembering making muffins."

"Not even I can eat this much," his eyes were almost glazed over, "Muffins, hash browns, sausages, bacon, deviled eggs, scrambled eggs, waffles, bagels, toast, oatmeal and what's that,"

"Quiche," my cheeks heated.

"Really Bella?"

"I had a valid reason for that…" I tried, "There was left over bacon and eggs-"

"No Bella," he shook his head, "not even."

"Do you want a plate," I offered.

"You mean a tray," he muttered.

"Mm something smells good-" Jasper waltzed in eerily cheery, "Woah."

"I know. You're awake, don't worry."

"But I mean, wow," Jasper wiped a hand over his face, "I'm half expecting to see Martha Stewart crawl out from under the table."

"Martha Stewart aint got nothing on this," Emmett murmured, "she made quiche."

"I'm still here," I waved a hand, "there was left over-"

Jasper held a hand up, "nothing can justify this. Where do I start?"

"I think I'm just going to start going from left to right and seeing where I end up," Emmett scratched his head, slightly confused.

I looked at the pancake batter in my hand, wondering how it got there. Well I couldn't let it waste… I racked my brain, blueberry, raspberry or chocolate? Maybe raspberry and chocolate was a good combination? I'd have to experiment with that one day…

"I- Is she malfunctioning?" I heard Alice ask from behind me, I hadn't even noticed her walk in as I flipped the pancakes. I had decided on all three types.

"Don't fix her," Emmett was able to say through a stuffed mouth.

"The only thing that isn't here is-"

"Coffee," I butted in, "In the left corner over there. Irish Coffee, Cappuccino, Black, Espresso or French Vanilla, you pick."

"I heard the word coffee –where did all this food come from?" Rosalie stumbled on her heels.

Three fingers pointed at me as I turned around, plate steaming, "Pancakes?"

**Edward's Point of View **

Emmett crawled to the drum kit groaning something about his spleen popping, Jasper didn't even try to stand up with his bass, and I was considering becoming bulimic with the amount I had just eaten. The only person who didn't seem to be in food coma was Bella, who had prepared that feast. I didn't understand how a person so frail could eat so much and still be so thin. She almost rivaled Emmett. When she was on her third serving of eggs, fifth pancake, second serving of sausages and second cup of coffee I had to ask of her secret.

"I have a great appreciation for food," she shrugged.

Auden had even eaten so much he started crying from his stomach hurting. I couldn't determine whether this was a good or bad thing. I could see him gaining a lot of weight with Bella here.

"How am I supposed to sing," I complained, "Bella, I'm so grateful for you making breakfast but don't _ever _do that again."

Her cheeks turned red, "I think I was tired –trust me, I don't think your stove can handle that again."

"Thanks though Bella, that was delicious," Jasper called from over in his seat, "Feel free to give Alice cooking lessons _whenever _you feel like it."

"I thought you liked my cooking," Alice pouted.

"You cook lasagna, cheese sandwiches and waffles Allie. I love you but there only so much Ego I can take," he replied.

"Yah, even I'm tired of my cooking," Alice shrugged.

"At least things go in the oven before your girl gives it to you," Emmett commented, "Rosalie gives me frozen Kids Cuisine."

"I told you," Rosalie suddenly sounded as she strutted in, more awake from her five cups of coffee –she'd had one of each; "It's either hot dinner or hot sex. You choose."

Emmett shrugged, "What can I say I'm a man with needs."

"Rosalie, I left some food on the counter in Tupperware if you could take it to Max for me. You know, extras," Bella said.

Rosalie nodded, "Will do. Thanks for the coffee by the way. Next time just make the Irish one though. The guys don't drink it and I thought it kicked ass."

Bella let out a chuckle, "See you Rosalie."

The blonde raised a hand as a goodbye as she left with Alice in tow. I looked at our very informal schedule.

_Monday Schedule: Done by the Lovely Alice Whitlock,_

Little hearts were placed behind Whitlock and I almost gagged. Only Alice would do that.

_9:15 (if Edward can get off his ass that early) – 9:30  
_**Voice Exercises, **_yes, even you Emmett._

_9:30-10:00  
_**Preparation **_get Bella comfortable. No Emmett, not in that way. Please also remember she is a female and will not appreciate innuendos. Bodily gases are also _not _funny._

_10:00-11:00  
_**Emmett Time **_Emmett will explain,_

_11:00-1:00  
_**Actual Practice Time, **_I'm serious, get work done. Bella, they'll tell you that they normally goof off._

_Don't let them, be productive. _

_1:00-2:00  
_**Break Time, **_this is when they normally eat lunch Bella. I have extended it half an hour because I suppose you want to make something elaborate. Just don't blow out ok? It's an hour._

_2:15-4:00  
_**Practice **_, as you've probably notices I've allowed 15 minutes of free time. This is for you to let you digest before you sing. It's also Emmett's potty time._

_4:00,  
_**End of Practice, **_do whatever you want. Emmett go plow Rosalie, Jasper go read, Edward go take a nap and Bella do whatever it is that you do. Dinner is at nine._

I looked up to see Bella, a wide smile on her face as she finished reading. Seeing her smile like that created some kind of cosmic shift; it was suddenly on my list of priorities to make her smile like that again.

"What's Emmett Time," Bella laid the paper down.

Emmett snapped his head up, "The best time in the world."

"That consists of…"

"Playing whatever songs you like, throwing around ideas, stuff like that. They do it so I don't get unfocused. You know, creative outlet."

"Sounds fun," Bella nodded, "But…I can't play any instruments."

"No one cares," Emmett shrugged, "You just embrace whatever musical talent and let it free; scream, shout, do whatever you want. But we're running five minutes late on voice practice so we should start."

I sat at the keyboard, wanting to forget about practice and just write but I knew we had things to do. Bella looked slightly awkward as she stood in front of the instrument, tugging at the hem of her shirt, and biting her bottom lip. "Alright, so for the next ten minutes we'll warm up and then we'll figure out Bella's range and type ok?"

"Type and range," she raised a brow questioningly.

"Pitches as well as most flattering style…loud, soft," Jasper trailed on, "stop worrying so much, I can practically hear your pulse."

She gave a large sigh, "I don't know, I'm not used to singing in front of people. I mean I'll do it when I have to but…does no one else feel awkward with me here?"

"There's no such thing as awkward in Emmett's vocabulary, Edward's infatuated with you and I'm _perfectly _fine," Jasper patter her shoulder, "Now let's go. We're seven minutes late."

I pressed middle C, and sang the same key and pitch as the synthesizer. Everyone sang it perfectly. I continued up the keys, Emmett and Jasper stopping sooner than Bella and I. I began going down an octave, Bella going out after the fifth-sixth note.

After the fifth round of exercises, Emmett stopped, "Ma- are we done now?"

I looked at the watch. 9:30 on the dot –I hated exercises as well.

"So now we're getting Bella prepared," Bella asked.

I nodded, "So what are you most comfortable with singing?"

"I can't sing very strong at a high pitch," she answered, "I choke."

I chuckled, "It takes training Bella. But it doesn't mean you're any less of a singer for it. I'm sure Hayley Williams didn't have her pitch right from the start."

"Her range is amazing," Jasper whistled, "We don't expect that."

Bella sighed, "That's a relief; I might have had an aneurysm."

"Ok, well let's see how high you can go?"

She swallowed before nodding. I went up the C scale slowly before reaching the next octave. At the E, she tried, slightly straining. I looked up to see her face beet red,

"I can't hit that."

"That's fine," I shook my head, "Better than I thought. I don't think we need to do so much today about finding out your style. I think we'll figure that out along the way."

"So it's Emmett time?" Emmett's ears perked.

"Yes Emmett," I sighed, "It's Emmett time."

**Emmett's Point of View **

Bella looked a bit lost as we all turned to our respective instruments. _That is so not the vibe you need to be feeling Bells. _Edward had tuned us out when he put his head phones on, Jasper was shuffling through a guitar case and honestly I hadn't even given her a second thought when the drums were calling my name. It wasn't as if Bella wasn't noticeable because _damn _that girl was a looker, but music can distract me from almostanything.

"Pst, Bella," I called out. She turned around to face me, her little bun bobbling. "Come over here."

She trailed over, trying not to trip over the many cords snaking across our floor. After about thirty seconds –the room was pretty large- she managed to make her way over to the platform on which the drum kit stood. Once she was close enough, I hooked my arms around her and pulled her onto my lap, making sure she was inside.

"Emmett what are you doing-" her cheeks were flaming red beneath her spackle of freckles.

"Aw, how cute you're blushing. You've never sat on a guys lap before have you," I chuckled as I pressed the button.

"What's happening," she looked around her as the glass panes began to rise. They reached above our heads and then sealed, creating a sound proof chamber for me. Ah, I love my bubble.

All I could hear was our breaths, "It's really silent," Bella noted.

"That's because these are sound proof," I smiled as I readjusted her on my knee, "This place is just unbearably small. Sorry about the space."

"You have a very muscular knee," she chuckled. "So what am I doing in here?"

I shrugged, "I feel like I'm the only one who hasn't been able to give you some good old Emmett wisdom."

"Nah, I'm quite sure Jasper and I haven't had the talk yet, so you're not last," she patted my shoulder, "Please don't lecture me."

"Me? Lecture? Psh, as if," I don't think I even knew how to lecture, "just making sure we're cool."

"We're cool Emmett," she gave a light laugh, "So, are you going to teach me to play these things or what?"

Those had to be my favorite words (besides food and sex) in the world.

"Alright then," I said, trying to keep the mischief from my voice, "hold on to your seat."

"You do realize that would be you," she said cheekily.

I wrapped my hands around her smaller, slender ones and began dishing out an intricate beat that required a lot of speed. The look on Bella's face was priceless as her arms flailed about creating a rhythm.

"You're…really good," Bella smiled largely. It was something I wished she'd do more often, "I mean I always thought so when I listened to your songs…but I love this room. I love it when you can _feel _the music."

"You understand me!" I felt myself smiling. Finally there was someone who didn't shout at me for locking them in the bubble.

After a few tries, I could see the red spread from her cheeks and down her neck. She turned to face me, which was a little difficult and even _I _had to say, awkward. "Emmett," she said softly, "Would you really…teach me how to play the drums?"

I almost dropped the stick, something that just _doesn't _happen to me,

"Bella, I think we'll be _great _friends."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	13. Chapter 13

You and Me: Chapter 13  
"_Just aren't coming out right"_

I knocked on Bella's door the next morning, surprised that I was up before her. For the past few practice days she had been the first one down stairs with breakfast on the table. Not that I was complaining, but I didn't think I should get _too _comfortable with her waiting on us like that. I didn't want her to feel like that was all she was here for.

…I knocked on the door a second time, "Bella?" I was met by silence. _Maybe she was still sleeping? _ Bella was a pretty light sleeper though; even small shuffling woke her up. I knocked a third time, getting a bit worried. _She's probably in the shower. _

After the fourth try I opened up the door and let myself in, shielding my eyes in case she was indecent. Ugh _indecent, _what am I, an old man?

"Bella," I tried again. There was no water running, and there was complete silence. I was starting to think she wasn't even in the room until I rounded the corner and saw her sitting on the floor, facing the chase in front of her. As if she had only now heard me, she turned her head in my direction. I was met with her vacant gaze.

Over the last few days Bella had seemed to be breaking out of her shell. Of course there were moments that she became deathly silent and seemed to be in _deep _thought, but we expected that of her. Grief didn't pass within a few days, but we thought that interaction with us was helping her cope with it. Her vacant expression as she sat on the carpet did little to assure me that we were helping at all.

I sat down on the ground next to her, "Good Morning."

She stared at me a few moments before answering in a small whisper, "Morning."

"Did you sleep well," I tried.

She shook her head, "No.

To say that I was at a complete loss as to what to do was a complete understatement. As we stared at the drawers in front of us, I wondered what she was thinking. I also wondered if there was a limit as to how much emotional pain a person could take before passing out, just like physical pain. What could I do to help her?

I remember the first day that Tanya was gone. The pain of her leaving us has dwindled into pure resentment by now, but at times when I looked at Auden, I felt the ambush of emotions pushing me over. I sat inside my room, selfishly blocking myself off from everyone including Auden. A few hours later, after picking my lock, Alice had managed to break into my room. The most memorable moment, was when she took my hand into hers and just stayed there with me. I was about to do this when Bella suddenly shifted.

Tears streaked her blotchy cheeks as she lay her head down in my lap. Now what did I do? Scratch her head like I did for Auden?

"I-I don't know what to do," I admitted to her.

I felt her fragile hand pull at my arms gently as she wrapped them around her. I could feel the outline of her face against my arms; her small nose, her long eyelashes and her plump lips were against my forearms.

I felt her lips move as she told me the most obvious thing, "Just hold me."

...

"Ready to run again Bella," I asked. About two hours into practice and we still were at a loss as to how to fit Bella into the song. We had to do something complimenting to her voice and something that she was comfortable with. It didn't help that Bella wasn't herself.

She nodded as she pulled at her hair frustrated, "I'll try the note again. I'll hit it."

"We'll just take it from the last few measures," I said. Hopefully it will go well this time.

Emmett gave us four beats for intro and at the cue I began singing.

"_The neighbors said she moved away, _

_Funny how it rained all day," _

Bella joined in, _"__**I didn't think much of it then, but it's starting to all make sense…" **_

"_Oh I can see now, that all of these clouds, are," _

"_**Following me in my desperate endeavor…" **_

"_To find my whoever, " _

"_**Whomever she may be…" **_

I began singing the next part, keeping an eye on Bella as she waited for her part. She looked like she was concentrating deeply on preparing herself. I needed to remind her not to pressure herself so much.

Her voice cracked slightly on the high note as she pushed her voice. She wasn't even three words into the next line before she stepped away from the microphone.

"I'm screaming," she kicked the chair in front of her, "I'm flipping screaming. I can't do this. I'm not good enough."

"Hey," Jasper called from his position, "don't ever say that. We wouldn't have brought you here if we didn't think you are good enough. Have some confidence."

"How am I supposed to do this when I can't hit the note," she sat on the ground and took a long gulp of water. "What if I can't get it in time? Maybe you guys should do this without me."

I shook my head, "We're not going on without you. We're a band now. You're in this band."

She put her forehead to her knees, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to turn this into a self pity party. This is just so…discouraging."

"Bella," Emmett called from the drums, "get your ass up."

"What?" she lifted up her head. Even I had to look at Emmett.

"Get your ass up, now." He said. Bella stood up.

"Go over to the microphone and get ready," he told her, "we're trying again."

"But-"

"I don't want to hear it," Emmett said firmly, "if you feel stressed, you take ten seconds _after _we've stopped and recollect yourself. Then you try again."

Bella nodded before positioning herself in front of the microphone. I wondered if Emmett had been too harsh, but maybe it was what she needed instead of our constant comfort.

"_I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, _

_Now the rain is just, washing you out of my hair…" _

"_**Well out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world, **_

_**So many thousands of feet off the ground,**_

_**I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds, **_

_**Towering over your head,**_

There was a silence as Bella took her ten seconds to get herself calm, "Advice?"

To say that I was surprised was a slight understatement. Based on Bella's previous reactions to how she sang the song, I was expecting another breakdown, but again, she never failed to shock me.

"Take a bigger breath before starting," Jasper instructed.

"Round off your consonants and vowels too," I offered, "Helps me."

She nodded, "Are we going again?"

"I say we have Emmett time," Emmett cheered from the back. His boisterous personality completely contrasted the stern voice he'd used earlier with Bella. Even though I was his brother, I still hadn't figured out the enigma that was Emmett.

**Bella's Point of View **

While Edward and Jasper were concerning themselves with their instruments, Emmett led me by the hand outside. His worried look was adorable as he scratched his head, "You're not angry with me are you?"

"Why would I be," I squeezed his hand, "You helped me. I needed it –it's just so hard, Emmett, to be with you professionals, and I am such an amateur. It's like I'm holding you back?"

"Of course you're not as professional as we are, Bells," Emmett laughed, "You just came into the band. We were prepared for this. Why do you think we started working earlier? Can you imagine how horrible we sounded in the beginning when we were _all _amateurs? We nearly got fired."

I actually laughed, "Thanks…so are we on for drum lessons?"

"I was actually thinking we could have jam time today," he said, "Normally Edward would sing, but I think you should today."

I scoffed as we walked back into the band room, "Are you sure you haven't heard enough of my singing?"

"No," he said and then winked, "I've heard enough of Edward's singing."

"Someone looks a bit cheerier," Jasper smiled, "What did Emmett do?"

"Inspirational talk, you Cullen's are pretty good at it," I joked, "I've been told that we're going to jam."

"Bella's singing," Emmett said as he got to the drums. "And she's picking the song."

I am? I racked my brain quickly to try and find a song that I wanted to sing.

"I don't know," I admitted, "Maybe Edward should sing."

"No," Edward shook his head, "pick what you feel. Music is a form of expression."

I smiled as I told them the song, "Do you know it?"

"It's one of the first songs I learned," Jasper nodded. "Emmett?"

"Edward did you want to sing with me," I asked him.

He shook his head, "I'll pick up on guitar and back you. Go ahead."

_1, 2, 3_

The intro notes helped me to zone in. Edward had reminded me that music was a form of expressing myself, and that was something that I had intended to do. Sometimes feelings could be so overwhelming, and so crippling that there weren't words to really express them adequately. Somehow adding instrumentals to the words helped to clarify. If I wanted to share with them what was broiling inside of me then this was the way. Music was a way to do it, using the lyrics as a portal to my feelings.

"_**I'm tired of being what you want me to be **_

_**Feeling so faithless lost under the surface**_

_**Don't know what you're expecting of me **_

_**But under the pressure of walking in your shoes**_

"_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow"__**  
**_  
Edward filled in for me. Our words overlapped and meshed. The whisper of his breath and the loudness of my voice created a sound I thought was addictive

_**Can't you see that you're smothering me**__**  
**__**Holding too tightly afraid to lose control**__**  
**__**Cause everything that you thought I would be**__**  
**__**Has fallen apart right in front of you," **_

I always used to make fun of the musicians that would make motions as they sang. But now I understood what it was about. I felt the words, imitating the lyrics I'd just sang…smothering me and holding me too tightly. My hands worked on their own accord, motioning how suffocated I felt by my life and how I had fallen apart in front of everyone…in front of myself.

_**I've become so numb I can't feel you there…Become so tired so much more aware**__**  
**_

Edward sang the bridge with me, my harmony complimenting his melody. I could feel my microphone chord dragging as I met him in the middle, and we sang the words relative to our lives.

"_**I'm tired of being what you want me to be."**_

There was a silence that remained after the song that was unnerving, but at the same time comfortable. It wasn't until Emmett had struck up the starting four counts on the drum that I realized that he had planned this all along. I entered in the song, and hit the high notes in the way I had failed to before. Granted it still felt strained, but I knew that it was a vast improvement from before.

Before I could face the criticism, I took Emmett's advice and counted to ten, "Advice?"

"No," Edward shook his head, "That was perfect."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	14. Chapter 14

You and Me: Chapter 14  
_"I'm tripping on words"_

"You look great, trust me. Don't be nervous tonight," Alice cooed as she brushed my hair for the umpteenth time.

"Do you brush Edward's hair this much," I joked lightly, even though my nerves sat in the pit of my stomach like a pile of bricks.

"What if I get booed off the stage," I groaned, "What if people hate me?"

"Auden, don't touch the mascara," she chastised before returning her attention, "Silly Bella, you're too cute to hate."

Ugh, there's that word again, 'cute.' I thought Max had said that Hollywood ate up cute.

"On set in fifteen," Jasper called from the other side of the door.

The reality of this still hadn't sat in with me, and here we were in the backstage of the club and preparing for 'Cover Night.' After being snuck in the back, nobody was aware of my presence. It hit me then that this would be the last time I would be 'just Bella.' Now I was stepping out into the limelight, and every person who had ever listened to the band Hour Glass Shot would know about me.

I would be exposed.

I had already done voice warm up before, but I swore I felt my throat begin to close. What if I couldn't hit the note again? I'd been able to get it the past few practices, but to say that I was comfortable with it was an overstatement. Sometimes I think I hit it out of pure luck.

Alice had agreed to leave me alone after minutes of convincing her that I would not die within the short period of her being gone. She also threatened to kill me if I cried out the makeup. Eventually she left, for which I was grateful. It was not that I didn't want Alice with me; it was just that I needed a moment to myself.

I stroked the braided bracelet that I had found in the bottom of my jewelry case earlier this evening. I couldn't believe that I had actually taken the cherished article off of me. The wave of emotions hit me once again, pulling me back into old Bella. No matter how depressing it was, there was one piece of me that my (hopefully, soon to be) fans and paparazzi could never touch. And that was the gnawing grief that made me who I was.

Three beads were on the bracelet; one blue, one yellow, and one brown with green specks of paint. Originally there had been two in the bracelet when Jacob had given it to me. First I stroked the yellow one that represented Renee's bright personality, and love of the sun. My thumb then traveled to the blue one that represented the color of my father's Forks Police uniform. Last, but definitely not least, I felt the grooves of the brown bead that had been dirtied with green paints. This bead was my addition, seeing as Jacob could not have known to have put in on there. This bead represented my Jacob and his brown skin. The green reminded me of the moss that grew on the rocks where we'd sit on La Push beach.

_They would all be proud of me, _I stifled the sob that threatened to pass through my glossed lips.

"Bella," Alice peeked in the room, "We're all meeting in the room sweetie. One more performance until we're on."

I nodded as I took a sip of my lukewarm water, "I'm coming now."

"I love you Mom, Dad and Jacob," I whispered for exiting the room after Alice.

For the next few seconds I was still a 'nobody' as I waltzed through the halls down to the band room. To those unknowing, I flashed my backstage pass until I met the secured door of Hour Glass Shot. The security guard flashed me a smile before allowing me into the room. I made a mental note to ask for his name later.

"Hey Bells," Emmett cheered. I smiled immediately. I didn't think I'd ever met someone so enthusiastic to see me, "Come take Eddie's seat. He's busy cussing off the babysitter."

I winced, "What did she do?"

"Nothing," Emmett shrugged, "He's just worried about Auden."

I nodded, "Are you nervous," I asked Jasper.

He chuckled, "If you haven't noticed I'm always a relatively calm guy. Don't worry so much Bella, you'll be fine. If not, I'll just pants Emmett. That'll keep the tabloids off 'ya."

A nervous giggle escaped me, "Thanks Jazz. But I hope you know that if you don't follow through with that, you're up for grabs."

He mocked fear as Edward stomped into the room.

"We don't need negative energy, Edward," Alice reminded him, "You're not helping Bella."

"Don't get your balls in a twist," Rosalie scoffed, "Auden's fine."

"You're both right," he sighed, "It's just that Kelsey couldn't make it tonight so she sent one of her friends that she 'highly recommends.' Is that supposed to comfort me? I asked for Kelsey, not Amanda, who by the way, gave Auden chocolate. What if he was allergic? What if it had peanuts and we didn't know he was allergic to peanuts? Does anyone know how long it takes to have an allergic reaction?"

Rosalie slapped him hard upside the head, something I realized was signature move for her, "Edward. You need to go on in about three minutes. Calm down, stop spazzing out, and let's get this crap done with."

He nodded before closing his eyes rubbing his temples, "Anyone want to say anything before we go on?"

"On behalf of the Hour Glass Shot family," Jasper said, "We welcome you _officially _Isabella Marie Swan." The group hummed in agreement.

I blushed at the sound of my full name; it always seemed so flowery, "Thanks you, guys. Even though I might not show it ninety-eight percent of the time, I really am grateful to be here."

"We ready to pray?" Alice said, "We're tight on time."

We all nodded as we joined hands and met in the center. I could feel Edward's pulse beating against the back of my hand through the hot skin of his thumb. The comforting feel of his callous fingers against mine, stirred a feeling in me that I couldn't place. There was no time to really identifying seeing as the prayer was short and we were meant to head on stage.

You know the pile of bricks that had been in my stomach earlier? Yah, well, I must have crapped that and swallowed an elephant because my stomach just got impossibly tighter and heavier as I walked onto the pitch black stage. Thankfully, Edward was leading me on, given my coordination. I felt an odd sense of loss when the cool air hit my hand.

The thrum of the audience was so loud that I was slightly hoping they wouldn't hear me. Of course, I was proved wrong when the club silenced to strums of Jasper's _Johnson_ acoustic. The lights came up on Edward and would remain on him until I finally sang towards the end. During the song, my only parts were to add quiet harmony to Edward's solo.

_She's been running through my dreams, _

_And it's driving me crazy it seems… _

The second verse and chorus seemed to fly by as I focused on my respectful parts. My pulse quickened and thumped so loudly I wondered if the microphone would pick it up. Edward crossed into the bridge leading to our corresponding parts. _You're going to be fine, Bella…show them what you've got. _

Edward picked up on the electric guitar, which brought out a flurry of screams from girls in the crowd. I could hardly see their faces seeing as I was still in the dark, and I hoped I still couldn't see them when the spot light came up.

"_**And out of my mind**__**keeping an eye on the world,"**_I sang as the spotlight began to brighten on me as well as the whole band. _**"So many thousands of feet off the ground**__**…**__**I'm over you now I'm not home in the clouds**__**…**__**towering over your head."**_

_"I guess I'll go home now" __  
__**"I guess I'll go home**_"

What I thought was worse than booing was the silence that followed our performance. This silence that lasted for what seemed to be endless hours tore through me, and turned me inside out. This in itself was criticism, and in this moment, I wasn't sure I could take it. That is, until the criticism was turned into praise.

It started like an avalanche. One lone drop of snow would fall, followed by the dangerous blankets crashing afterwards. It was in this way that our storm of applause began; one lone clapper testing out the sound, and then the entire club, joining in.

I literally could not stop smiling as Edward yanked me off of the stage. Five pairs of arms wrapped around me in congratulations. Though I did hesitate, I returned the hug with full meaning, the elephant finally having been crapped out.

"That was," I looked for a word, "exhilarating."

"You got it," Alice said, "A little hoarse on the quiet ending, but that's just to the trained ear. You were magic Bella.

"Absolutely marvelous," Max stalked in backstage, "Dinner's on me afterwards ok?"

"Max you don't have to do that, I can cook," I offered.

"No, no, no," he clucked, "Tonight is your beginnings to a star. A big, cute, freckle faced star who's going to rake me in _plenty _of money. You, deserve a night –and tonight is yours!"

I knew that my red cheeks were still noticeable through the caked on makeup. Sure my throat felt a bit raw from all the practicing and my final blow out, but it was all worth it. Max was right. It's my night to enjoy. And I planned on enjoying it.

That was until Edward got a call.

"I don't give a damn who you are to him, he's _my _son," Edwards angry yells came from the bathroom, "No matter how many times you call he will remain my son and mine alone. I've no obligation to you."

"Oh God," Alice whispered. I looked to see her eyes wide with worry, "Carmen and Eleazar."

"Leave us the hell alone," was Edward's final words before he stormed out of the bathroom. He passed us completely, and slammed the backdoor as he went out.

It wasn't my place to, seeing as Edward and I didn't have the connection that he and his siblings –Rosalie and Jasper included –had. But for some odd reason, my legs turned on autopilot and led me after him. I was able to hop into his car before he managed to speed off.

"Dammit!" He yelled as his fist punched the steering wheel.

I flicked off the car light as I gave him a chance to cool down.

"What did you do that for," he grunted.

"Just in case of paparazzi," I shrugged. "Are you ok?"

"Do I look ok to you," he snapped. The verbal slap left my eyes stinging with tears.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Bella, just, get out of the car –I want to be alone," he commanded as he started the ignition.

I ripped the key out of the hole, the car was eerily quiet at loss of the engine sound and our voices, "First of all, don't speak to me as if I'm a child. You are two years my senior, not twenty. And second of all I don't believe you. You don't want to be alone."

"Yes, I do, hence me leaving."

"No, you never _truly _want to be alone," I whispered, the words having more meaning for me, "Talk to me."

"I am, and I'm telling you to get out of the car," Edward barked.

"Just let me help you, you help me all the time," I tried to reach for his hand.

"Get. Out."

That was enough for me to retract my hand. I rushed out of the car before Edward was able to see the damn break and the gush of tears betray how hurt I actually was. True, I had probably been overbearing, but it wasn't to annoy him. Even if all I did was nag about how I felt, I cared for Edwards feelings too. He had become a friend to me, a comfort.

I found myself taking a detour from the club as I tried to sort through what had just happened. My limbs carried me further and further away from where I was meant to be. The journey consisted of random turns and crosses, leading me past coffee huts, antique shops and designer outlets.

A building with a cross in front of it caught my attention. The cross had a thorn crown placed around it, wound out of gold wires and pearls. Carved on the cross was a rose, its petals falling and it's thorns menacing and sharp. _A church, _I sighed as I continued passed it. It was the marble stones that drew me closer.

The continuous rows of stones looked like crooked teeth in the mouth of the world. Again my feet worked on their own accord, ushering me through the rusted gates and into earthly home of the dead.

I sat before one gravestone that had brought me to my knees,

_Beloved Mother of three,  
__passed away from breast cancer. May she lie in peace,_

_I watched as she breathed, the only thing hinting that she was alive. Her hair was gone, her skin was paler than natural, and her lips were grey lines that protruded from her sunken face. This was not the mother I had known. _

"_Mom," my twelve year old voice wavered. _

"_Honey," the nurse said softly, "she can't hear you." _

"_Yes she can," I said defiantly, "I know she can." _

_The nurse nodded as she left me in the room with Renee. _

"_Luke Davidson asked me out today," I told her with a soft giggle, "he nearly peed himself with I told him yes. Dad spazzed, of course, I think he almost had a stroke. I had to get him to sit down with one of his Stags. But you know Charlie, he always over reacts." _

"_I still think you look beautiful," I whispered, "Just remember that when you wake up and look in the mirror. At least you lost that ten pounds you wanted," I joked lightly, "Just don't lose anymore ok? You don't want to make Dad look bad." _

_I stayed there, talking about complete nonsense with her until I knew I had to leave, I recited to same thing I said every time I left her. _

"_I love you mom. You always told me you would be listening –and no matter what they say, I know you are. Somehow I know that even when you're gone, you'll be listening to me," I pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I love you." _

That was the last time I saw my mother alive. Within minutes of me leaving, she had passed away.

I traced the letters of the headstone with my fingers seeing as my tears and taken my vision. I don't know how long I stayed there watching the stone and sitting above the loved one of a family. All I knew was that by the time I had gotten up to head home, I realized that I was a long ways from home.

Walking by myself didn't bother me. What did bother me was the rain.

Like the slow starting avalanche, the rain announced its presence with one single drop before starting to pour. My tears meshed with the water that ran from my hair and into my face. Nothing seemed that bad until the lighting began to flash.

Ever since Jacob had died, I had a fear of storms. I pictured myself getting struck my lightening, or getting swept away in waters…or worse falling somewhere no one could find me. In Forks I would cower under the blankets as every flash of lightening brought the picture of Jacob's mangled body. I pictured my own body in the same way. The idea of walking home seemed very stupid now that I was trying to run through a fully fledged storm.

I was in hysterics by the time I had reached the Cullen's house. I ripped my keys from out of my soaked jeans pocket and stumbled into the mansion.

"Oh my God, Bella," the gasp sounded from Alice as she dropped her phone. Rain water and all she pulled me into her arms. I could hear the tears in her voice; "Don't ever do that to me again."

I jumped as the thunder banged, giving a shriek at the loud noise. If this wasn't enough to get me to fear God, I wasn't sure what was.

A new pair of arms wrapped around me, "You scared me," Jasper pressed a kiss to my forehead, "Where the hell were you?"

I couldn't answer him as I cowered into his arms at the new sound of thunder, "I need to go to bed."

I felt Emmett's large arms replace Jasper's thin, but toned ones, "Bells, what happened."

"I-I just need to go to bed," I choked, "I'm sorry for keeping you up, I just got angry and then I got lost and it started raining and I h-_hate _storms…"

"Ok, ok, come on," Rosalie's firm voice contrasted her soft hold on me as she led me up the stairs to my room.

Why was it that I always seemed to be in this position? That it was me, the wimp who had to be tended for? I had tried to step into the role as the comforter earlier, but look where I had ended up; stripped of my clothes and dignity in front of Rosalie, and with nothing to show but a snotty nose and a fear of loud sounds.

"Do you want me to stay with you," Rosalie asked as she flickered off the lights.

I honestly did but I couldn't keep Rosalie up any longer. It would be selfish of me, "No. Thank you Rose."

"No problem, Bella," she replied, "Goodnight."

"Rose?" I asked before she could leave, "Are you angry with me?"

She sighed, "I'm worried about you," she admitted, "no one is angry."

I nodded even though I knew she couldn't see the action, "Goodnight."

I wasn't positive about how long I was under the blankets, but all I knew was that I would stay huddled under the duvet wide awake until the storm passed. The circulating heat underneath the blanket created a sheet of sweat on my forehead and lower back that would remain there until I gained the courage to get from underneath the blankets.

I could see the flash from the lightening even through the cover as the next one struck. I could hear a tree collapse in the distance. What if one collapsed through the window? _Oh God, _I prayed, _please protect me and put me at peace… _

The bang of the thunder followed within the next few seconds of the lightening strike. _Jeez Bella, you're such a wimp…Jacob would be laughing at you now, _I chastised myself as the tears returned. My heart thrummed at an irregular beat, yet it matched my shallow breathing.

"Bella,"

I screamed at the proximity of the voice.

"Sh," he comforted as he let himself under the blanket. I could feel his presence beside me but refused to turn over. Despite the circumstances, I didn't want to talk to him, not yet at least.

"You don't have to be here," I told him. "I'm fine."

"You're shaking," he noted, "I don't think you're that fine."

I rolled over, facing him under the blankets. I could hardly see his face in this darkness, but the outlines of his features were slightly visible. I couldn't tell his expression and I wondered if I wanted to.

"Tanya's parents, Carmen and Eleazar Denali, don't want Auden to live with me," Edward whispered, "And not because they think I'm incapable of providing for him, but because they hate that it's _me_ alive with Auden, and not Tanya."

My breath caught in my throat, "Can they do that?"

I could feel his head nod, "They can fight for custody…and if they push the right buttons they can win."

My hand traveled across the small space of the mattress to wear his hand lay. My finger tips touched his, barely brushing them.

"Is this ok?" I whispered. His hot palm slid onto mine.

"I should have never spoken to you like that," his minty breath tickled my face, "I didn't want you to leave."

I took a few seconds before answering him, "I want to be there for you, just like you're there for me."

Thunder sounded behind us, making a tear slide down my face. Calloused yet smooth fingers brushed at my cheek, capturing the crystal droplet.

"Why are you crying," Edward whispered.

It took everything in me to keep the sob from coming out of my chest, "He was killed in a storm,"

I had been expecting a round of questions as to who 'he' was and how 'he' was killed. To my astonishment I was met with silence. For some reason, this made the tears flow faster.

The palm that had been heating mine pulled away from me and replaced itself on my back. My pulse raced at the feel of his hand against my bare back and the touch of his fingers right beneath my rising tank top. I realized, with slight panic, that I liked this more than I should. It took me a few seconds to register what had happened, but I was now pressed against Edward's body, his arms wrapped around me. One hand stayed against my back as the other ran through my hair, "Don't be scared," he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

It was in that moment that I realized I was starting to have feelings for Edward Cullen.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	15. Chapter 15

You and Me: Chapter 15  
_"You've got my head spinning"_

I woke up to an empty bed the next morning, though wasn't bothered. I didn't expect him to stay for the entire night, even though I wanted him to. _Get a hold on yourself Bella…nothing can happen between you and Edward._

_ Why not? _I questioned myself. I shook my head as I stepped out of my room around six this morning, surprised that Auden hadn't gotten me to watch TV. I poked my head inside of his room to check if he was alright. His cute form was cuddled underneath his sheet, still sleeping soundly. He mumbled something incoherent before I left the room. _Just like Edward, _

After fixing myself for the day, I trailed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. What were we going to do today now that we were done practicing? Maybe I could rope Emmett into another drum lesson. The doorbell rang, causing me to become slightly confused. As soon as I opened the door, a sea of flashes drowned me.

"Who are you and what are you doing in lead singer Edward Cullen's house?"

My mouth remained open as I stuttered, "Hi."

A reporter chuckled, "Who are you –are you replacing Tanya?"

"What's your name?"

"How do you know Edward?"

"Why were you filling in last night?"

"When did you reach Hollywood?"

"I-I'm going to go inside now," I mumbled before turning around and tripping back inside.

Still a bit frazzled I ended up at Edward's room.

"Bella," Edward scratched his head sleepily as he tried to focus his gaze, "Hi?"

"T-That's what I told the reporter," I started, "Who's outside. Lots of them are outside."

He seemed fully awake now…and angry.

"How the hell did they get in here," he stomped past me and into the hall before picking up a cell phone I'd never seen him use before.

"Just tell them not to come over yet," he murmured, "yes…maybe they hopped over the fence...Ok, I know, you'll deal with it….thanks man."

"I'm sorry," I rushed, "I didn't know they were out there –I just was looking and they bombarded me but I promise I didn't say anything…well I said hi but-"

"Bella, it's ok," Edward sighed, "I just hate the press."

I nodded, "I didn't tell them anything."

Edward suddenly chuckled, "Except hi."

My cheeks reddened, "It seemed like the polite thing to do at the time."

"So young," he ruffled my hair, "So naïve."

"You were not just asked fifty questions in one second," I slapped his hand away, "Sorry for waking you up."

"Bella, stop saying sorry," he said, "and I'll take a nap later today."

"And I'm the young one," I eyed him. "Thank you…you know, for last night? I really needed that. And I promise not to pressure you again like I did in the car, I'm s- I apologize."

He nodded, "I do want you to be there for me," he continued, "It's just that this whole situation with Auden, and Tanya's parents. I couldn't handle losing Auden." His voice cracked in the last sentence.

"You're not going to lose him," I told him. I know I couldn't promise him, but I would pray until my knees were sore if it meant Auden would remain with Edward.

"Daddy," Auden grumbled as he shuffled into the kitchen. He was suited in a one piece pajama that had hippopotami on the feet. I could never get over how cute he was. "Morning, Bell."

"Rise and shine, peanut," I smiled, "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Cake," he murmured sleepily and then grumbled something else.

I laughed, "Not for breakfast bud, but I can make banana fritters."

"Flittas?" Auden tried.

"Fr-itt-ers," I tried. Auden reached his hand up to feel my lips. His small palm felt the movement of my lips before placing it to his own lips.

"Naner Frit-ters Bella," he asked, "Breakfast?"

I nodded before looking up at Edward. I couldn't tell what his expression was, but I hoped he didn't feel put out like before.

"Need any help," Edward asked as Auden trailed to his play room.

I shook my head, "It's ok, go relax."

"Nah, I think I'll keep you company," he hopped up onto a counter.

"Hey guys," Alice waltzed in, "What was all the commotion about?"

"Our newest pop star," Edward grabbed a banana off of the table, "She's quite the hit."

"Of course if you guys had stayed around long enough last night, you would have known that. We won by a landslide."

I couldn't help the blush that spread across my face, as I grabbed the banana from Edward. "I need that for the fritters. That's great. How many have you guys won in the past competitions?"

"None," Alice giggled, "That's what's great. You haven't even heard the best parts Bella."

She pulled out about three newspapers from her bag and turned to highlighted lines,

"Hot Earphones reviewers say, _'Hour Glass Shot pulled a secret weapon last night at the battle of the bands annual Cover Night. No one was expecting the strong breathed brunette to wow the crowd… _

There's something sexy about music  a.k.a comments, _'Did anyone jizz in their pants when Edward Cullen graced the stage? Well if you didn't, you certainly would have when the brunette mystery appeared. The sensational band Hour Glass Shot, shocked its fans with a never seen before talented beauty. Jealous anyone? _

WTF one of Hollywood's biggest blog spots says, _After dying along with its lead singer, the band Hour Glass Shot seems to have redeemed themselves by adding a hot, brunette haired, touch to their group. Bravo HGS._

People are raving mad about you Bella."

"You might want to shut your mouth," Edward chuckled, "because this is only the beginning."

"But," I stammered, "Surely they're not all good."

Alice's face scrunched, "No they're not, but you don't need to think about that right now. Today we are relaxing. Bella, you don't need to cook tonight –we're going to Mike Newton's house."

"_The _Mike Newton," my eyes widened, "You mean, the youngest director in Hollywood?"

"What, so you don't think being the lead singer of a band is cool," Edward joked.

I slapped at his arm, "Are you sure he wants me there too?"

"Of course, I bet you're the reason he's inviting us," Alice chirped, "I get to do your makeup."

_Makeup… _

"Is that really necessary," I squeaked, "I mean, I thought you said we're relaxing?"

"This is Hollywood," Edward added from where he was munching on an apple. Was he trying to set a world record on how many fruits he could eat? "Relaxing means that there is socializing and holding up appearances involved. Don't worry though; we don't do this _every _day of the week. I do have a child."

"But you're used to this," I whined, "and there's going to be other famous people there too."

"Like Eric Yorkie, Tyler Bradford…_Jessica Stanley." _

"I don't think I'm liking the infliction put on her name," I voiced, "What did she do?"

"Claim she had sex with Edward," Alice's tone turned murderous, "just to gain fame."

My eyes squinted, "Please, point her out to me."

Edward choked on his kiwi. "Nuh uh, no, Alice I swear no more. She's already gotten her burn from our single."

A smile broke across my face, "'Deep Down and Dirty' is about Jessica Stanley?"

Alice smiled mischievously, "_Even when I say no, yes is all you hear,"  
_"_There must be something in the atmosphere," _I sang.  
"_That's making you think it's you and me," _Alice continued.  
"_When really, you're a tragedy," _I giggled as I understood the lyrics, "You guys are horrible! What did she do?"

"Stay quiet," Edward chuckled, "For a _really _long time."

"So why do we want to be in the same room as her," I groaned, "Please tell me Stella Marge won't be there? I don't need a slash to my already non-existent confidence."

"Stella Marge doesn't have your amazing voice," Alice complimented, "and no. She's a little too mature for our group. The oldies of Hollywood normally don't comingle with the younger generation unless it's a major event."

"Alright, alright," I sighed, "I'll go."

"Silly Bella," Alice pecked my cheek, "I wasn't really asking."

...

"Bella, stop looking like you're about make a run for it, relax," Alice elbowed me with her angular elbows.

"People are looking at me like I'm a damn crypt member walking into blood territory," I muttered.

"So glare back," she whispered quickly.

"I don't know how!"

"Hey! Edward," the blonde haired, blue eyed legend known as Mike Newton slapped backs with Edward. I didn't think I'd ever been in the room with so many famous people. "Well don't you all look great? Long time no see."

Emmett patted Mike on the back, "Nice new place you got here Newton. Mind if I go scope around?"

"I'd be offended if you didn't," Mike chuckled before zeroing in on me, "and who is this beautiful lady?"

_Because that's not awkward… _

"This would be our Bella," Jasper introduced seeing as I hadn't spoken as yet.

"Um, hi," I shook his hand, "I'm Bella."

"So I've heard," he smiled warmly, "why don't you come have a drink with me?"

"Uh-"

"She'd love to," Alice pushed me forward, "See you Bella!"

Thankfully Alice didn't force me in heels to go to this event, so her push didn't send me into the fountain. Mike placed a hand at the low of my back and guided me to his bar.

"I hear you've got quite the set of lungs on you," he said as he ordered me and him a drink.

"I'd like to think so," I answered, "I don't think I could beat Edward in a screaming contest though."

He laughed, "So how's Hollywood treating you?"

"Scenery wise it's enchanting," I took a seat on the barstool and he followed suit, "Paparazzi wise…"

"I get what you mean," he nodded, "Especially since you're new bait."

"That makes me feel so much better," I smiled as I took a sip. I coughed on the harsh liquid.

"You don't drink do you," he guessed as he took back the cup. The bartender presented me with a coke, "Sorry. I just assumed you did."

"It's ok," I rasped as I sipped at the coke, "The burn was…um."

Mike laughed, "Not pleasant. So how old are you?"

"Seventeen," I answered truthfully. I'm sure the tabloids would figure it out anyways; "And you if you don't mind me asking?"

"I believe it was me who asked a lady, rudely," he replied suavely, "twenty-one."

"And already won a Golden Camera," I shook my head, "You have your career cut out for you don't you."

"I'd like to think so," he said as he leaned a bit closer. His fingers brushed at my jean clad knee and remained there. A slow hum started from the place he touched me, and traveled to my cheeks. I was about to say something when I was interrupted.

"Hey, Bella," Edward came up behind me, "I want you to meet someone."

"Sorry," I smiled at Mike as Edward led me away.

I tried not to focus too much on his hand as he pulled me to our destination. Now I was filled with more confusion than anything. I had felt the hum of Mike's touch, but was now distracted by the tingle of Edward's hands. I wondered if there was the possibility of there being more between, but the thought of anything transpiring died once we reached.

In front of me stood the glamorous and sophisticated Victoria De Vogue beaming in all of her modeling glory. I'd thought the magazines air brushed her skin to give her a flawless complexion, but of course, it was natural. No pimples or holes anywhere…and the way Edward was looking at her? I extinguished the ember that had misguided me into thinking I liked him as more than a friend, or more importantly that he could ever like me.

"Bella," Edward smiled, "This is Victoria. Victoria, Bella."

"You can call me Vicky," she pulled me into a warm hug. "Wow, you're really pretty."

"I should be saying that to you," I forced a smile. I couldn't even hate her…she was perfect, "you're modeling is genius. It has a lot of personality."

"Really?" she beamed, "You noticed? Not many people do…they just think it's another pretty picture."

"No, you have a signature look," I admitted.

She smiled, "Thanks. I can't wait to hear you sing though. It's really wonderful how you joined the band."

"Are you a fan of their music," I asked.

"I'm not a rock fan," she replied, "though Edward's voice is just heavenly, don't you think?"

Edward smiled, "I wouldn't call it heavenly, but thank you. We'll see how you feel after you hear Bella though."

"That's Edward, always so modest," Victoria's hand stroked at his chest.

"I have to use the bathroom," I blurted, "It was really nice meeting you Vicky."

She pressed a kiss to my cheek, "You too, Bella."

_It's ok,_ I reassured myself_, it's not like you really liked him anyways. _

"Are you Bella Swan," someone asked as I made my way to the bathroom.

"That's me," I smiled to the woman. She seemed older than most of the people attending the party.

"It's so nice to meet you," she extended her hand. "I'm Elena Trace from _Hot Today _Magazine-"

"I'm sorry, you look really nice and all, but I don't think talking with you would be the wisest thing for me right now."

"It's ok," she smiled, "I understand you're just starting out. So why don't you take my card and when you're ready, you can give me a ring so I can be the _first _to release the story?"

"I can't make any promises," I told her, "I have to talk with my manager."

"So you're signed with Hour Glass Shot," she smiled wickedly with the information eating grin a reporter would normally smile with, "you're a part of the band now?"

"Yes," I answered, but chose my next words very carefully, "I am a member of the band. But I don't feel comfortable saying anything else."

"Don't worry Bella, this is all off the records, I promise," she stuck out her hand.

"No offense, but journalists have never been the first people I'd count on to keep promises," I shook her hand, "Though it was nice meeting you. I'll be sure to give my manager your card."

"That's all I ask," Elena said before walking away.

"Who was that," Alice sounded from behind me.

"Gah- I swear you Cullen's are like damn vampires," I gasped.

Alice chuckled, "Hi Bella. You look like you're getting along well with people."

"Not really," I shrugged, "That was Elena Trace asking for an interview."

"Ah, she never stops working," Alice chuckled, "But Edward let you meet Victoria."

"Yes," I gulped, "he did."

"I don't understand his intrigue with her," Alice sighed.

"So he likes her," I tried to sound casual.

Alice gave me the eye, "Yes. But I doubt it will last once he actually gets together with her. Victoria is really pretty and mostly kind…but that's all she is. No depth. She's quite boring really."

"Alice," I shushed her, "that's not nice."

"I'm not insulting her," she shrugged, "I like her, honestly I do. But I can never hold a conversation with her, and I told her that to her face. You'll find that out sooner or later."

"I hope not," I murmured as we walked out to the back porch. We were only out there for a matter of seconds before an arm snaked around my waist.

"Bella," Mike's fruity breath tickled my nose, "how are you enjoying the party?"

_I'm enjoying it as much as I enjoyed that drink you tried to pass off to me earlier, _

"It's great," I plastered a smile on my face, "You famous people are very accommodating."

He laughed, "You know, Bella, I love your wit."

"Thanks," I shrugged, "It's just part of the package."

"Hopefully that package would allow me to take her out to dinner sometime?"

I'm pretty sure the perfect o that my mouth made gave Cheerio's a run for their money. Truthfully, I knew I wanted to say no. But as I saw Edward pull Victoria by the hand out the door, all I could do was swallow the lump in my throat, and return the plastered smile I'd been donning the entire night.

"Sure, Mike, I'd love to."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	16. Chapter 16

You and Me: Chapter 16  
"_I don't know"_

I lay my head down on the cool, polished, wooden table at Axe records. Could people die from silence? I'm pretty sure it was possible…they probably spontaneously combusted. As Max studied the reviews I created twisted formulas on how the pressure of tension and heat of emotions could cause a person to crack.

Exhibit A: Bella Swan.

"Is this silence a bad thing," I whispered to Rosalie who was busy filing her nails. She shrugged in response. "Thanks," I muttered.

Max stuck his fork murderously into the pancake I had prepared this morning,

"I want more!" He declared.

Emmett's brows furrowed, "Pancakes?"

"No you twit," Max threw a magazine at him, "Publicity! What do you have for me Alice?"

"Nothing really," she sighed, "The only thing I think we can do is get her circulating with other celebrities until we have another gig. That and the upcoming interview Bella bagged with Elena Trace."

"We need to play this very carefully," Max threw down the magazine he'd been looking at, "Paparazzi claims Bella has a cuteness factor that they picked up on within seconds of bombarding her. I think it'd be in our best interest to follow up on the cuteness factor."

"So I'm supposed to work on being cute," I asked. _Hadn't he told me to get rid of that?_

"Exactly," he nodded, "and Alice, we need her out in the public as much as we can get her. Get a dog that she needs to walk, run out of groceries, make her go to the hospital –something! People are crazy with questions about the new celebrity, but they'll get over her if they never see her. We need to play on the silence. I want pictures, but I don't want a microphone with feet of her. Do you understand?"

"Will do Max," Alice nodded.

"I'm still here," I reminded him, "Is there something I can do?"

"Not get angry at us," Rosalie smiled, "because you're going to hate the next week."

"Yah, I remember doing this," Jasper said, "creating your image. Good luck Bella."

"Don't worry, you'll be with us most of the time," Emmett shrugged, "Don't let them scare you."

"So what's our next plan of action…because I promised Auden I'd take him to the park," Edward said.

"Swings," Auden smiled to me. I smiled as I patted his curls,

"Do you like the swings," I asked him.

"I like the swings," he repeated.

"I like the slide," I commented, "I like to close my eyes and go down with my hands in the air."

"I like the slide," Auden changed his mind, "Like you Bell."

I nodded as I zoned back into the conversation taking place.

"The nearest thing is that Bella has a date with Mike Newton," Alice smiled.

Six heads turned to face me.

"What?"

"Way to go Bella," I met Emmett's high five awkwardly.

"I don't necessarily have a date…he hasn't called me yet," I informed them.

"I like where this is going," Max tapped his fingers together as if planning something diabolical, "romance is always a headline maker."

"No," I shook my head, "If you all are going to spin every relationship I have with a male into publicity then I'm not going on a date with Mike. I'm not using anyone."

"Not _using _him Bella," Max replied, "You're just allowing us to keep track of your relationship."

"Which would entitle," I asked.

"Which would entitle you not being offended should someone tip off the paparazzi…enjoy yourself, have fun, make out! Just be aware that a camera could pop up at anytime," he told me, "how does that sound?"

"How would Mike feel about that," I bit at my pinky nail. This all sounded horribly staged if you asked me.

"Oh, he'll know for sure that there will be extra publicity. It happens with everyone he dates. That's why _he _asks people, to ensure they're not using him."

"So he'll be fine," I wanted to make sure.

Alice nodded, "You can even tell him if you want. He'll understand."

I sighed before mulling things over quickly. In no way was I going to use anybody, but what if I really went on a date with him, and just let them take pictures if they wanted? And if Mike was aware, then what was the damage? _This is Hollywood, _I reminded myself.

"Yah, whatever," I waved a hand, "I'm game."

Alice clapped her hands together excitedly, "I know exactly what you should wear."

"You don't even know where I'm going," I reminded her.

That seemed to halt her for a moment. Jasper chuckled at Alice's calculating gaze.

"Alice, whatever you work out, I want it to _scream _girl next door," Max said before getting up. I could help but smile when he took my plate of pancakes with him.

"Daddy, he didn't say bye!" Auden complained after Max had left the room.

"I know Auden," Edward shook his head, "he's a mean, mean man."

...

I lay on my bed in a towel after just taking a shower a few hours after we had come back from Axe records. I had about half an hour until I needed to prepare dinner for the gang so I decided to procrastinate and listen to music on my bed. I didn't even bother changing into my clothes as I popped in my earphones and lay back against my headboard.

A few minutes into the song _Say What You Need to Say _by John Mayer I heard the door open,

"Bella," Edward walked in. I immediately crossed my legs over and tightened my towel at my chest. _Does he not knock? _Edward stopped once he saw me sitting on the bed, hair out like a drowned cat, and wrapped in a towel, "I'm so sorry- you didn't answer…and I didn't know-"

Great. Now Edward knows that not only do I blush across my face, but it happens on my chest. How would he know? Because I'm bright red and his eyes are definitely not on mine. I was wondering whether I liked it, or not. He was probably laughing at me in his head. After all, he did have _Victoria. _

"I-It's ok," _I think, _"Did you need something?"

"I, um," he looked up at the ceiling, "just wanted to talk about something with you."

"That will be hard if you're still looking at the ceiling," I poked fun at him. Better to make fun of an awkward situation then to stand in it like a bubbling fool, "You can sit on the bed, I promise I don't bite."

_Unless you want me to…_Gah, bad Bella.

"Why are you blushing again," he chuckled.

I coughed, "Uh no reason. So what did you want to talk with me about?"

"You and Mike," he started, "I don't think you should go out with him."

You're shitting me right?

"Why?"

"I don't think he's right for you," Edward continued, "I've been thinking about it…and I'm getting this bad feeling about it."

_Jealousy? _But why would he be if he had Victoria?

"Thanks for your concern, but I think I'll be fine," I told him.

"You don't have to do this just for the publicity you know," he said, "there are other ways to create your image."

"I could care less about the publicity," I scoffed, "_Mike _was kind enough to ask me out and I wanted to accept. And that was before we came up with this publicity stuff."

"He's four years older than you Bella. You're not even a legal adult yet," Edward argued another point.

"Why are you really doing this Edward? My age doesn't matter," I told him.

"Yes it does," he disagreed, "Age is everything when you're a minor."

"I'm seventeen," I told him, my voice rising slightly, "And my dating choices are _not _your concern."

"Technically they are," he replied, "by living with us. We are now your legal guardians. And as your legal guardian I don't think it's in your best interest to be going out with a twenty-one year old man."

"You do not have any control over me," I reminded him, "Don't act like you do."

"I will when you're making a dumbass decision," he yelled.

"What is wrong with you," I shouted back, "My decisions shouldn't matter to you! You have Victoria!"

I stalked past him and ran down the stairs nearly tripping on my way to the kitchen. _What the hell did I just say to him? _Did I just hint at my feelings for him? I'm such an idiot. I began hacking at the chicken viciously, just as Edward walked in. Never mind the fact that I was still in my towel…

"What do you mean?" he voice was still harsh.

"Get out of the kitchen, Edward," I said. _Whack!_ I took my frustrations out on the meat.

"Would you stop that before you cut yourself," he said distractedly, "and I'm not leaving. What did you mean by, 'I have Victoria."

"I'm not talking to you right now," I told him. _Whack! _The knife sliced through the foul effortlessly, making a chopping sound as it met with the cutting board. The feeling of the action was sickeningly satisfying.

"Don't be immature," Edward said, "Do you have feelings for me Bella?"

"Get out of the flipping kitchen!" _Whack! _An intense pain shot up my finger as I realized the sound had not come from the knife hitting the cutting board but from it hitting the cutting board _after _it had sliced my finger. My blood drained onto the kitchen counter in an entrancing red river, then dripping onto the floor. Like fool, I watched it course over the counter top, not even bothering to help myself.

"Damnit Bella!" Edward cursed as he pulled my hand over to the sink. The cut was deep and stretched from the tip of my pointer finger and down the back of my palm. Blood continue to mix with the water as Edward held my hand underneath the running water. The sad thing was that although I was feeling pain, I could still feel the electricity I felt whenever Edward touched me.

The worse thing? I knew he didn't feel it back.

If he had felt something for me, than when he'd learnt I had feelings for him, his first words wouldn't have been a question but a statement. A statement about how he had feelings for me too. But they weren't. And he didn't.

I now knew why they were called crushes.

"I told you to stop cutting like damn Freddy Kruger," Edward hissed as he wrapped my hand up in the dish towel and led me to the bathroom.

He inspected my cut as I sat on the toilet. It was still bleeding as he pulled out the first aid kit.

"I wonder if this needs stitches," Edward inspected the gash, "I don't think so."

"I can wrap it myself," I told him, "You don't need to help me."

"Don't be stubborn," he sighed.

"Then stop treating me like you would treat Auden," I countered.

"I'm just trying to look out for you," he wiped the cut with an antiseptic wipe before taking out some gauze wrap.

"You can do that without being patronizing."

"Daddy," Auden came to the doorway, "Bell, boo-boo?"

"Everything's alright kid," Edward smiled at him, "Bella just had an accident."

"Yelling?" he asked.

"That was nothing," I told him, "We're fine. Are you hungry?"

Auden nodded as Edward finished bandaging my hand. I whispered thanks before leading Auden to the kitchen. When I returned after changing into some clothes, I was happy to see that I hadn't bled on the chicken. I was more careful this time, slicing the food into thin strips before chucking it into the wok pan. It was so short to prepare that by the time I was finished seasoning and frying the strips the others had arrived.

I set out the shredded cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and other additions for the fajitas. Emmett took his large sniff as he entered the kitchen, something he did regularly. He wrapped his arms around my torso in a short hug before grabbing cups out of the cupboard. Jasper pressed a kiss to the side of my head before leaning over the pot,

"This smells delicious Bella, as always," Alice smiled next to Jasper, mimicking his movements.

"Please tell me this wasn't what happened to your hand," Rosalie held up the bloody knife from the sink. "Where's the corpse?"

"It was me and my clumsy self," I chuckled, "I'll have to wash that off."

"Never mind it," Rosalie washed it off in the sink, not even flinching as she wiped the knife down with her bare hand. _Self-note: never upset Rosalie, _"Dinner looks good."

"Thanks," I pulled out the plates and then turned the fire off, "Go ahead and assemble your fajitas."

We all decorated our food the assortments of relishes, our fajitas almost mirroring our personalities. Rosalie's fajita was plain, but with tons of spice, and Alice's was nicely arranged, her toppings constructed into a designs. Jasper's toppings were placed in almost strategic layers so that he was able to get everything in one bite, while Edward's matched mine almost perfectly, more proof that we had lots in common. Auden's fajita was just messy, and Emmett? Well, Emmett had everything on his.

"Mmm," Emmett hummed as took a bite, "This tastes so good. Does this make your tummy happy Auden?"

Auden nodded as he took another bite. Not even minutes into the dinner he had managed to make a mess of him. _How did it get on his forehead? _

"So Bella, I was thinking we could go shopping tomorrow," Alice said, "Rosalie, you, and I."

"That sounds like fun," I said, "Is this the beginning of hell week?"

Rosalie snorted, "This isn't even bad. Just wait until the paparazzi is actually there. I hope you can run in heels."

"Uh, no heels for Bella," Alice shook her head, "Heels don't scream girl next door. Flats however, do."

"Thank God," I sighed, "I really wouldn't be able to take this if I had to wear heels."

"Won't Mike be disappointed," Emmett chuckled, "Heels are always sexy on a woman."

"Hey, hey, hey," Rosalie interjected, "A woman can look sexy in anything."

"Especially if _I'm _the one in charge of her wardrobe," Alice wiggled her brows. She reminded me of Emmett in this instance. "And again, we're going for sweet, not _sexy." _

Edward's fork clattered against his plate as he slammed it down. He headed to the kitchen and returned with a wine bottle, giving himself a fair serving.

"What crawled up your ass and died," Jasper asked Edward.

Edward shot him a glare before taking a gulp from his glass.

"I guess Edward doesn't agree with our discussion," Alice raised a brow.

"No, he doesn't agree with something else," I muttered before popping a piece of stray chicken in my mouth.

"I don't see why anyone else isn't disagreeing with it," he scowled.

"Because everyone else is being reasonable," I replied.

"Everyone else is out of their damn minds," Edward said.

"Hey, if I'm being insulted, I'd at least like to know what I'm going to kick your ass for," Rosalie glared at Edward, "So please, share."

"Language everyone," Jasper said, "We still have a child at the table. What's going on?"

"You're letting Bella go out with a twenty-one year old," Edward told them, "am I the only one that sees the issue with this?"

"We're not _letting _her, because there's nothing to let," Alice replied, "It's her choice."

"My point exactly," I added, "It's not your choice Edward."

"I'm not trying to control you…I giving you a friendly suggestion," he back tracked.

"Exactly, a _suggestion, _meaning that I don't have to go with it," I replied, "So like I said before. Thanks, but I think I'll be fine."

"Mike's a nice guys Eddie," Emmett slapped Edward on the shoulder, "I'm sure he'll treat Bella right. If not, we'll hound him."

"He is a twenty-one year old man pressing up on _seventeen _year old girl. He'll try and treat her too right," Edward growled.

A flame overtook my skin as I realized what he was implying, "If my dating life has nothing to you then my sex life definitely has nothing to do with you."

"Daddy, TV?" Auden asked, obviously picking up on the atmosphere. Edward nodded distractedly as Auden got up from his seat and ran off.

"Some man forcing himself on you isn't a sex life," his voice began to gain volume.

"Who said he would force himself on me?" I scoffed, "You're so hypocritical. Talking about Mike trying to sex me on the first date when you're probably planning a night with Victoria!"

"We are not bringing me into this," Edward stood up, leaning towards me and in the same stance as mine, "This is about you."

"Why? When you're the only one with a problem," I asked, "Why do you have a problem?"

Edward was silent before saying, "I-I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this Bella. Please. Listen to me."

"I'm a big girl Edward," I sighed before sitting back down, "and I know it's because you care. But right now, I've made my decision."

Edward returned to his wine, our discussion now over. My phone began to ring and I picked it out of my pocket scanning the caller ID.

"It's um, Mike," I blushed at the mention of the man we had just been arguing over.

"Go ahead," Alice nodded in encouragement, "take the call."

I left the table to answer the phone, the last sound I heard from Edward bring his cup as it slammed against the table, and his chair scraping against the floor as he left the room.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	17. Chapter 17

You and Me: Chapter 17  
_"Where to go"_

I rolled over in bed for the fiftieth time and sighed for the a millionth. _Go to sleep Edward, _I chastised myself. Did I dare look at the clock? _Two am. _I kicked my feet childishly. I'd ask myself why I couldn't get to sleep, but I already knew the answer. I was still hung up over Bella.

The pillow landed with a thud after it smacked the wall. I didn't even know what my problem was! I just felt that if Bella went out with Mike, things would change, and to be honest, I didn't like change. Fame and relationships (especially combined) really screwed with personalities and relationships. And I had a damn good argument! Granted I probably didn't approach it in the right way…and it literally got messy, but even over this short amount of time I cared for Bella like I cared for Rosalie.

_ But she cared for me like Rosalie cares for Emmett, _I groaned. I didn't think Bella was in love with me, but I knew she had slightly non platonic feelings. I could admit that it unsettled me. I didn't feel that way for Bella to be quite honest, and I couldn't see us becoming more than we are romantically. For one, we seemed to be bickering constantly and secondly, when I dated I thought of women who could be potential mothers for Auden. Though she interacted wonderfully with him, Bella had so many things going on in her life; I didn't know how she'd be able to take on half the responsibility of Auden. I still wanted her to be a part of his life though.

But how was I supposed to tell her this? I had to, so I wouldn't lead her on. It would be horrible to have that tension in the band. Plus, I was going on a date with Victoria tomorrow…how awkward was that going to be?

I closed my eyes again, trying to gain some sleep. Endless minutes later I peered at the clock, _2:55 am! _

This was ridiculous.

"Bella," I knocked at her door once before letting myself in. She'd probably be sleeping.

_That's what I should be doing. _

Her eyes fluttered halfway open before her small, pink lips tried to separate,

"Mm," she answered.

"Can we talk," I asked.

"I will not… have… sex with you," she mumbled before turning her back to me.

I swore I could feel my face heating, "Bella…wake up."

I rolled her over to face me, "Bella."

"Mm," Bella tried again.

"Wake up," I tapped her face.

Her eyes reopened, "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep," I told her.

"Well I can," she groaned before closing her eyes again.

"Talk to me please," I poked her soft side, "Come on Bella. I feel horrible about what happened tonight."

"Fine," she pulled back her lids, "Go on."

"I shouldn't have treated you like that," I continued, "I just worry about you. Please forgive me?"

"Will you go to sleep if I do," Bella asked.

I rolled my eyes, "Bella."

"I forgive you Edward," she sighed, "let's just forget it happened."

"I can't forget something you said," I forced myself to say. This was going to be awkward, "…do you have feelings for me, Bella?"

Her doe eyes widened further as she pulled the covers up over her freckled, and probably blushing, cheeks.

"I know you don't feel the same way," Bella's voice was hardly audible, "But it's just a small crush. I'll get over it by tomorrow I bet."

I raised a brow, "so you're ok?"

"Contrary to your beliefs, I'm not a little girl. I can handle myself," she gave a small smile, "so enjoy your date with Victoria, and I'll enjoy mine with Mike."

I grit my teeth at his name, "Sure."

"Is your conscious clear? I'm surprised you're not fretting over leaving Auden with a babysitter," she chuckled, "I don't know why you didn't just ask me to stay with him."

"I didn't want to impose on your night," I shrugged, "It's ok."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said before offering, "and Auden and I always have so much fun. Let me watch him please?"

I sighed, "If you're fine with it."

"I am," the bed moved as she nodded, "I promise. Now go back to bed."

"There's one more thing," I said.

"Edward, go away," she groaned, "I'm tired."

"No really," I laughed, "one more thing."

"Fine, what is it?"

"Promise me that no matter how things get…we can still be friends," I said, "I don't know how to explain it Bella, but you really are a family member to me now. I don't want that to change."

"I promise," she said quickly, but firmly.

"You're not just saying that to get me out of your bed right? I mean I know you said you wouldn't have sex with me-"

"I said what!" Bella punched my arms, "You're lying."

"I'm actually not," I chuckled, "Goodnight Bella."

Her mouth remained opened as I walked out of her room and entered mine. The invisible weight that had been on my chest was lifted as I sunk into the mattress and closed my eyes. I don't even remember falling asleep.

**Bella's Point of View **

"Let's wrap this up you guys," Edward sighed as he leant back in his chair. I kept my eyes trained on the floor slightly still mortified from Edward's chat with me early this morning. I couldn't believe he had confronted me on my feelings for him, and felt it necessary to make sure they didn't progress. Wasn't that the ultimate rejection? On top of that, he was now going on a date while I was going to watch his child. Granted I had offered to, and I didn't want to torture Auden with a babysitter, but didn't that just place me perfectly as the second choice?

He had redeemed himself when he made me promise to stay a part of his life. For that reason, I had decided to show him how much I meant my promise, and that it wasn't just a brush off.

"Edward, we haven't actually done anything today except for talk, and even that wasn't much," Jasper rolled his eyes, "Could you relax for a few seconds?"

"We still need Emmett time," Emmett whined.

"Actually Emmett," I said, "I had a song I wanted to sing, if you didn't mind."

"Of course Bells," he shrugged, "what is it?"

He nodded as I told him the song, "So are we going or what?"

"We have made no progress," Jasper groaned, "We're supposed to be thinking of a song to do for the _It's Our World _environmentally conscious concert."

"Jasper, that's weeks away, don't get yourself all riled up," Emmett waved him off, "Come on, let's go mash."

Knowing that Emmett wouldn't be able to settle down for any longer we went into the band room and everyone went to their respective instruments. A loud clanging sound erupted from the back as Emmett reacquainted himself with his drums.

"Emmett!" Jasper shouted over the bangs, "Stop!"

His boyish grin wasn't something that you could easily get over. I knew tons of fan girls had fallen in love with it and I could see why. Emmett was too cute. You know, in the 'I can totally crush you if I wanted to' way. I remembered how Jacob had the same sneaky grin. The memory came but the pain didn't overwhelm me like it normally did. I wondered if it meant that I was slowly healing.

"Edward, go sit down," I told him. With a confused grin, he put down his guitar, and sat down on the couch in the band room. "I just want to show you that I'm serious about our promise. And that goes for you Jasper and Emmett…I won't ever let the fame get to me."

"Of course," Jasper nodded, "we wouldn't let you Bells."

"Are yall ready?" Emmett called from the back. He didn't even wait for our reply before picking up the intro beats to the song.

For the first time today I made eye contact with Edward. If I was going to sing this to him, I would sing it right.

"_We all have a weakness, but some of ours are easy to identify,  
__Look me in the eye,  
__And as for forgiveness; we'll make a pact to never speak that word again  
__Yes you are my friend."_

I caught Edward's smile as he realized which song it was. _Dig _by Incubus seemed like the most appropriate song to dedicate to Edward and I's promise. The idea had come to me when I was in the shower, and although I knew it had the dangerous potential to be corny I also knew that songs were one of the only ways I could express myself clearly. This was the song that seemed to exact my feelings.

_**So when weakness turns my ego up,  
**__**I know you'll count on the 'me' from yesterday.**_

I closed my eyes as the chorus came, wanting to pour my feelings into what I was saying. The world of Hollywood was threatening unpredictable, and had the power turn someone inside out. I made a pact, promising myself that I wouldn't forget the Bella that I was. Whether she was torn or tattered, she was still the Bella that I shouldn't lose.

_**If I turn into another,  
**__**Dig me up from under what is covering  
**__**The better part of me**_

I watched Edward watching me, absorbing the lyrics of the song, and nodding to the beat. Before the second verse could start he was standing, taking the microphone from me gently. He didn't even bother to move away from me as he sang the words and kept his intense gaze on mine. There it was again, the electricity. But Edward didn't feel it, no matter how much eyes screamed that they were drinking me in. I guessed the truth was that it was me who was drowning, and gulping in his words as he sang them to me.

_We all have someone that digs at us,__  
__At least we dig each other__  
__So when sickness turns my ego up__  
__I know you'll act as a clever medicine._

We sang the chorus for the last time together. It felt almost too natural to fall into harmony with Edward. Our voices blended like a compound fused together; strong, compatible, and physically inseparable. _  
_

_Sing this song__**  
**__**Remind me that we'll always have each other**__**  
**__When everything else is gone.__**  
**_

The last strums of the guitar faded out as Edward placed one, soft kiss on my forehead. It was so simple and so small, but it meant more than it should. For that one second, I thought I had a chance with Edward –right before the doorbell rang.

"That's probably Victoria," Edward said, "I won't be home for dinner ok? So don't wait up."

"Don't worry Ed, I'll eat your serving!" Emmett promised.

"I'll walk you up," I offered. _What are you Bella, his boyfriend? _

As we walked up the stairs, Edward briefed me on all things Auden, even some unnecessary facts. I knew it was because he was cautious, but I reminded him that I'm with Auden on a regular basis.

"You know he shouldn't have candy right," Edward said, "Right?"

"Yes Edward," I rolled my eyes, "Go, um, have fun."

Edward nodded before opening the door. There stood the red headed beauty dressed in a denim skirt, a fitted, red, low cut top and black, stiletto boots. Of course she had to look gorgeous. I looked down at my own t-shirt and jeans, and touched my ratty hair. I hadn't bothered to brush it since I woke up late.

"Hey Bella," Victoria brought me into a light hug. I wouldn't be surprised if that was all her strength. Her arms were the same width as tooth picks.

"Hi Victoria," I returned the hug and tried not to break her, "You look gorgeous."

"Thanks," she said, "You look…I love your earrings."

"Thanks," I forced through gritted teeth, "Well, have fun on your date."

"I'm sure we'll have tons of fun," Victoria pecked Edward's cheek. I kept the ridiculous smile on my face until I could turn around and walk away.

"Bella," Edward called. I peeled the scowl off and turned around,

"Yes, Edward?"

"Please, don't go outside the house with Auden," he asked.

"Oh, really? Because I was planning on taking him to the park," I smiled evilly.

Edward glared, "Goodbye Bella."

"Bye Bella!" Victoria waved enthusiastically.

"Tootles," I mocked before shutting the door behind them.

"Sour much, Bells," Emmett stepped out of the hallway and tossed me a beer can.

"Emmett," I tossed back the can, "I'm under aged, you're under aged and I have to watch a child."

"Come on," he wiggled his brows, "a sip wouldn't hurt. And I'm not even going to be driving. Jasper is."

"Maybe next time big guy," I patted his shoulder as I headed to the kitchen to make Auden a sandwich.

"You just looked stressed," he followed me into the kitchen.

I would have asked him if he wanted a sandwich but that was like asking a five year old if they wanted candy. You knew their response would always be yes.

"Who looks stressed," Jasper waltzed in, a beer can in his hand and already taking a few sips. I took the beer from Emmett and smiled,

"You are now the designated driver."

Emmett scowled at Jasper as he took out a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Ok, so by process of elimination for who's in the room, I'm guessing it's Bella. Because Emmett doesn't get stressed…he never takes things seriously."

"He's right. I don't." Emmett shrugged, "Except food. And sex."

"My point exactly," Jasper nodded, "You're stressed Bells?"

"No I'm not," I slammed the bread onto the sandwiches quite violently.

"Ah, the bread speaks otherwise," Emmett pointed to my hand prints in the bread before picking up the sandwich and taking a bite equivalent to half of the food, "Thanks."

"Want one, Jazz?" I asked.

"Got any turkey?"

I rolled my eyes and reached into the fridge, "So picky."

"Stop changing the subject," Emmett garbled with his mouth full of salami, "What are you stressed about? You might as well tell us, we always find out. We're almost as worse as Alice."

Jasper choked on his beer, "No one's as worse as Alice. She knew I was proposing to her before _I _knew I was proposing to her."

I chuckled, "Fine. I'll tell you, but you can't mention it to _anyone." _

"That means anyone besides Rosalie and Alice," Emmett raised a brow, "because we can't keep secrets from them."

"It's not even that big…" I shrugged it off.

"Bella," Jasper groaned, "You're killing me."

"Ok, ok," I sighed, "So I might have the smallest, infinitesimal, microscopic, crush on Edward."

"Ooo juicy," Emmett leaned his head on his hand while taking another bite of sandwich. I handed Jasper his.

"So what are you going to do about it," Jasper asked.

"Nothing," I grumbled before hitting my head into the fridge repeatedly, "he doesn't care."

"I bet he does, Eddie's obsessed with you," Emmett chuckled, "You never know Bells."

"No," I continued the action before Jasper peeled me off the fridge, "I actually do know. He told me that he didn't last night –technically this morning."

"He told you he didn't care?" Emmett face looked confused, "That doesn't sound like Edward to be so callous."

"You know what callous means," Jasper snorted.

Emmett took his sandwich from out of his hand and licked all over it. The devastated look on Jasper's face was priceless especially when he looked to me.

I laughed before getting out the tools to make him another sandwich, "He didn't say it in those exact words. But he told me he didn't reciprocate the feelings. And on top of that he's going on a date with that Victoria who I can't even hate because she's so damn nice."

"I love girl talk," Emmett smiled, "he told you this morning that he didn't like you back?"

"Yes," I nearly shouted from exasperation, "he woke me up at like three am just to reject me."

"Ouch," Jasper winced, "that's awkward."

"Talk about a cock block on emotions," Emmett guffawed, "I totally hear ya on the Victoria situation. Man, it's like watching grass grow when you're in a room with that girl. I'm sure some other guy might like the silence, but damn she's boring."

"But it sure has Edward liking her," I sighed before handing Jasper his second sandwich, "Emmett, I swear if you touch that sandwich your balls are mine."

He winked, "Is that a promise or a threat?"

"Ugh," I rolled my eyes, "Get out of the house you two. I'm pretty sure Edward doesn't want you over here corrupting his child. I can imagine Auden going up to him and asking him what a cock block is tomorrow morning."

"Wouldn't we all be screwed," Jasper laughed as he walked to the door, "I guess we'll see you tomorrow Bells."

"You don't want me to cook dinner tonight," I asked, slightly disappointed.

"Nah, we'll give you a break. Especially since you have to watch Auden and all that," Emmett shrugged, "But tomorrow I'll be back. I promise."

I swatted him out the door, "Bye guys."

"Bye Bella," they cheered as they made their way to the car.

I returned to the kitchen and placed Auden's sandwich on the plastic plate with a few chips and assortment of fruits. After pouring some water into his sip cup, I walked with the meal to the family room where I knew he was occupied with Nickelodeon. He was probably watching SpongeBob.

"Hey Auden," I said, "Your dad doesn't want you watching so much TV. How about you take a break and eat?"

"No," he answered quickly, not bothering to take his attention away from the yellow entertaining square on the TV.

"Auden," I asked again nicely, "honey, please, turn off the TV and come and eat."

"No," he replied, "I don't want to."

Granted this was a correct sentence, and one of the few he used for the day, but it still wasn't polite. I knew that if you let a child get away with something the first time they would probably act out again. And I understood his love of the yellow fellow, but it was time for the TV to come off, and I was not about to be ignored. I however, was not meant to discipline Edward's child. So I did the simplest thing, which was to switch off the TV. The only thing was that the second I switched off the TV, all hell broke loose. Or rather, Auden broke loose.

"Turn on," Auden said, "SpongeBob."

"No," I said firmly, "Come and eat your lunch, Auden."

"Turn on!" he smacked his fists on Edward's prized leather sofa.

"No," I repeated, "It is lunch time. No more TV."

"I don't want it," he grumped as he pouted his lip. He crossed his arms angrily, challenging me to object.

"You can either eat it now, or eat it later," I said, "But the TV stays off."

"No!" Auden picked up his sip cup and threw it across the room in a tantrum. His words were incomprehensive as he scattered the chips and sandwich off the plate and threw the plastic utensil at me. _Ow, _I rubbed my head, _that actually hurt. _

I watched as he threw himself down on the floor and pounded his fists and feet, crying and screaming bloody murder. His face turned an odd plum color, and his cheeks were streaked with nose drool and tears. Knowing that I couldn't give him the attention, I left the room to go get the things to clean up the mess Auden had made. It wasn't horrific, but I knew the chips and ketchup would be hard to get out of the carpets. I honestly had to look up, and say a word of thanks to God for not allowing anything to get on Edward's sofa. Besides Auden, that was his child.

Auden was still crying as I entered the room again with the hand vacuum and soapy sponge. I pretended to pay him no mind and scrubbed at the stains in the carpet until they seemed to come out. The sound of the vacuum complimented the wailing, and my ears cried at the sound of the two combined.

After I put back the things and returned to the room I sat down and talked to Auden as he was still throwing his tantrum. I knew he was trying to talk to me but his words just sounded like cries as he stomped his feet and yelled.

"When you are done, you can talk to me properly," I said, "That wasn't nice what you did Auden, and you really hurt my feelings."

Once my two cents were put in, I picked up a magazine off the table and flipped through pages like I was actually reading instead of paying attention to Auden. I couldn't care less about the summer sales or the _kissable _colors of lip gloss. My only concern right now was Auden, and currently, Auden was quieting down. I refrained from grinning, knowing that it had worked.

Sniffling, he moved off of the ground and trudged over to me, his head hung low and his thumb dangling from his mouth. I couldn't dare be angry with him. Who could get upset at such an adorable boy?

I kept my attention glued on the book until I felt his wet fingers tap my hand.

"Yes Auden," I turned to him.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"What are you sorry for," I asked him.

Auden looked at a loss for words so I decided to help,

"Are you sorry for making me sad?"

He nodded.

"So what are you sorry for?" I repeated.

"I'm sorry…for making you sad, Bell," he eventually got out.

"I forgive you," I nodded, "But you have to sit in time out Auden because there are consequences for your actions. That means that if you do something bad you get in trouble, but if you do something good you could get something nice like a reward. So why do you have to sit in time out Auden?"

"Con…" he tried to pronounce the word before placing his hand to my lips.

"Con-se-quence," I sounded out for him before repeating the word a few times.

Auden tested it against his lips before saying the word. It was a bit hard to understand but he seemed to be getting the hang of it.

"Right," I nodded, "Please go and sit in the corner there."

Quietly, he went and sat in the corner. He looked at his hands for the majority of the time, but was perfectly silent. I wondered what it was he could be thinking to occupy himself so well. Normally, when I had babysat children, they couldn't keep still in timeout for more than three seconds. They'd either make a run for it or entertain themselves with noises or the objects around them. Auden however, sat perfectly and quietly for the five minutes. He didn't need to be in there for long seeing as he had calmed down and had even apologized.

"You can come out now Auden," I told him. He sprung out of the spot and ran over to me.

"Do you know what you did wrong? Why you got in trouble," I asked him.

"Yelling," he said, "and throwing."

"For yelling and throwing," I nodded, "That wasn't nice."

He nodded, "I'm sorry."

"I know you are sweetie," I pulled him into a hug which he returned tightly, "Are you hungry?"

He nodded once again.

"You know I only listen if you speak," I pretended to ignore him by pressing two pillows to the side of my head.

Auden giggled, "Yes please."

"Alright," I slung him over my shoulder, delighted by his squealing and laughter, "How about that sandwich?"

The rest of our time together passed without incidence. I gave Auden his sandwich and afterwards I played action figures with him. I learned that he had a fascination with spiders (because of Spiderman) and hated having villains involved in the game. He claimed that he didn't want mean people in his game so we were both superheroes spending our days eating ice cream and flying all over the place. I learned his favorite thing to do was to go to the park (which was a shame since Edward hated him going) and I also learned his favorite animal was a sponge. I didn't bother correcting him seeing as technically, there was such thing as a sea sponge. I just don't think he'd particularly like it if he saw the real kind. Auden tinkered and talked about everything, and although I didn't catch half of it, I was able to learn that with practice and a bit of help, he was more than capable of pronouncing words and forming sentences.

Around nine o'clock the house was still to ourselves and Auden was dosing off in my lap as we lay outside in the back yard (I didn't think the backyard counted as leaving the house.) I carried him inside and got him clothed for bed. I didn't know where Edward stood on the whole washing his child thing, so I'd leave it for him to do tomorrow.

"Bell," Auden yawned as I tucked him into bed, "Story."

I raised a brow at him, "Story, what?"

"Story, please," he said before scooting over on the bed to create space for me.

I smiled at the action, "Alright, which one do you want?" I was prepared to go over to the book cases before I heard Auden's choice,

"Caterpillar Auden, please," he asked perfectly.

I laughed as I climbed into the bed, "You like that one don't you?"

He nodded but I excused him for it this time. His eyes were practically drooping with slumber, so I knew he could hardly open his lips.

"Ok then peanut," I lay my head back and quickly thought of where I left off before. I was about to start the story when, to my surprise, Auden lifted my arm and placed it around him as he snuggled into my chest and popped a thumb into his mouth. I could feel the slight amount of drool on my chest as he sucked contentedly, but I didn't mind. It was toddler germs, which were practically harmless.

"So," I thought, "There was Cheerio, Alice and a very sick Caterpillar Auden, and they were all on their way to find a leaf to help the caterpillar when they ran into a little boy named Eddie.

"Daddy," Auden smiled, his eyes were halfway closed.

"That's right. Now Eddie was a farmer and he normally had this special leaf to help with the sickness, but he ran out! So Cheerio, Alice, a very sick Caterpillar Auden and Eddie all went to the forest where they met a big, lovely bear named Emmett the bear," _very original Bella,_"and Emmett the bear knew exactly where to get the leaf, and he decided to show them. So Cheerio, Alice, a very sick Caterpillar Auden, Eddie, and a lovely bear named Emmett the bear all traveled through the forest to find this special leaf."

I expected the next sound to be words about the story interrupting me, but instead it was words that made me stop speaking all together. My eyes brimmed with tears as Auden whispered sleepily,

"Nigh Bell," he grumbled, "love you."

I pressed a kiss to his head, "I love you too peanut."

Not able to keep his eyes open any longer, Auden closed them and drifted into sleep. I climbed out of his bed and tucked his covers around him snugly, making sure that not an inch of him was left to the cold. I switched off the lamp and left the room door cracked open the way I knew he liked it.

Back in my room, I fished out Cheerio from his place in my suitcase and placed him rightfully on my bed. I couldn't believe that I had gotten conscious of him just because of Edward coming in and out of my room. This dog was a part of me, regardless of how old I was. You couldn't put a time limit on a memory, especially the memory of how I got Cheerio.

_ I brushed my fingers across the cool, smooth mahogany of the casket, tracing the carved patters of the flowers. It seemed odd that such a simple object could hold the end of life…the end of my mother's life. Would it be disrespectful to lift the casket top? Did I even want to see what my mother looked like now? Maybe it'd be best for me to keep my memory of her at her healthiest. _

_ I sat and watched the casket for the next twenty minutes, repeatedly telling the man who wanted to take it to the hearse that I needed more time. I would always need more time. There was never a time to say goodbye. Nothing was enough. _

"_I'm sorry, miss. But people are waiting," the man sighed, sympathetic but clearly frustrated. _

"_It's ok," I heard my father speak behind me, "I'll pay you overtime, just please, wait." _

_The man nodded and disappeared, satisfied with the fact that he'd get his money. _

_ My father took a seat on the floor beside me and pulled something from his side. It was a brand new stuffed animal, soft and plush with russet colored fur and glossy black eyes. _

"_I realize you're too old for stuffed animals," Charlie joked, "but I thought it'd be something nice to hold onto. Just to squeeze when you feel like it." _

_ He handed the stuffed animal over to me and I stroked at its fur, tangling my fingers in the synthetic hairs, "Thanks." _

"_Yah, I know it's dumb," he blushed the same blush that people commented we shared, "You don't have to keep it around with you if you don't want." _

"_No," I shook my head, "I love it Dad. Thanks, really. It was really thoughtful of you." _

"_Well now," he grumbled. Charlie wasn't one for sharing his feelings, "It's no problem at all. I know this is hard for you Bella. And I want you to know that no matter how hard faced I seemed about this, it's not easy for me either. It's ok to cry you know." _

"_I know," I nodded, not wanting to talk about the elephant, or rather, casket in the room. "What should I name it?" _

"_Hm," Charlie sounded, I guess a bit confused from the sudden topic changed. _

"_What should I name him," I asked, "the dog?" _

"_Actually, it's a wolf," Charlie winked, "but you can name her whatever you want." _

"_It's going to be a boy," I decided, "I have way too many girl stuffed animals." _

_Charlie harrumphed, "You know I don't like boys in your bed, Bella." _

_It was my turn to blush, "Jeez Dad. Not like that. I just want it to be a boy. Now what's his name?" _

_ "I don't know," he shrugged, "But Bells? We really need to get your mother out there. I know it will be difficult, but you just hold onto your wolf and give it a squeeze and it will all be alright. The stuffed animal will cheer you up. And my hand's always available too." _

_ I nodded as the tears started to form as I squeezed the wolf as well as Charlie's hand while they moved Renee's casket._

"_Have you thought of a name yet," Charlie asked to distract me from the process. _

"_No," I shook my head, "But I promise, you'll be the first to know." _

My tears dropped on the animal's fur like they had many times before. I squeezed the animal tightly, my knuckles whitening from the force. I thought back on the other memory, the one that held an ending and a beginning.

"_I know you probably don't remember me," a boys voice said as he sat down beside me on the floor. Déjà vu engulfed me as he took the place that Charlie had when it was my mother's funeral. _

How ironic,

_ "I'm Jacob Black," he held out his hand. I shook it numbly with my free hand. The other hand was wrapped tightly around the russet wolf that had endured much stress over the past three months. After all, that's all the time there had been in between Renee and Charlie's deaths, "I'm your cousin for all intents and purposes. Our fathers are really close." _

"_Were really close," I corrected him softly. _

"_I'm really sorry, Charlie is a great man," he held my hand gently. It felt nice. _

"_Was a great man," I corrected him again. _

"_You know, something's don't die with the person," Jacob told me, "Charlie is still a great man."_

_ I lay my head on Jacob's shoulder, entrusting myself to a complete stranger who couldn't be more than two years older than me. _

"_Thank you," I whispered. _

"_Any time," he smiled before reaching for the stuffed animal in my hand, "Who's this?" _

"_My stuffed animal," I felt a blush cross my face. _

"_Don't be embarrassed," he chuckled, "I still have McHoppers. What's yours named?" _

"_He doesn't have one," I sighed, "Still." _

"_That's ok," Jacob shrugged, "But Bella, I'm supposed to tell you that their ready to move the casket." _

"_I need to say goodbye," I said, "and I know I already did, but I just…I feel like I haven't said it enough." _

"_I understand," he traced circles on the back of my palm, "I felt the same way when my mother died." _

_He understood the grief,_

"_Does it get better," I asked, "Does this…hole, ever get better?" _

"_No," he said honestly, "But you learn to make it a part of you. The hole isn't a missing piece…it's just the remembering of your loved one. And although it hurts, you're not meant to stop remembering." _

"_C-can I have a few moments with him alone, before you take him," I asked Jacob. _

"_Sure, just call me when you're ready and I'll tell them," Jacob gave me a hug, "I won't let anyone come until you're ready." _

_I nodded as Jacob left the room. I walked over to the casket and again, brushed my fingers against the polished top before beginning to speak, _

"_Dad, I love you," I pressed my face to the cool, wooden surface almost as if the silence inside the casket would be interrupted by a heart beat at any moment. But I knew it wouldn't. It was his heart that had killed him in the first place, I doubted it would bring him back. And I had been prepared to say something to this infernal contraption hat held him, but now, as I lay my face against the box, I couldn't say anything. I opened my mouth and all that came out was a strangled cry._

_I don't know how long I was there for before the arms wound around my waist. Even though I'd never felt them before, I knew who's arms they were. _

_ I leant my head into Jacob's neck as I saw them men heave Charlie's casket up and begin to trudge away. I squeezed the furry toy in my hand, waiting for the magic of it to seep in and bring me some semblance of cheer. My breath caught in my throat as I remembered something. _

"_Wait," I cried as I ripped away from Jacob, "Wait! Stop." _

_The men carrying the casket stopped as I pressed a kiss too the wooden casing and whispered the last words I wanted my father to hear, "I named him Cheerio." _

I held my face in my pillow as my stomach heaved with the sobs that had held in the past few days. I knew things had to be getting better. I was getting out of bed every morning wasn't I? I was laughing more than I had in months. I was smiling and talking and letting people into my life. But the second I allowed myself to feel the hole, it hurt the same way over and over again. This was what Jacob meant…it will always hurt, but you learn to live. I just wondered if all of this was too good to be true…if one day something would happen and I would find myself on top of that church building again.

I nearly choked when I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it might be Auden, I walked to the door after wiping my eyes and pulled it open. The wiping of my eyes served no purpose though, the tears continued to fall.

"E-Edward," I sniffled, "Hey. How was your night?"

"It was great," he said quickly before asking, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I brushed him off, "Everything with Auden went fine. But I'm going to go to bed now."

I began to close the door before he blocked the door jam with his foot, "You're crying, it's not 'nothing'."

"It's, um, allergies," I wiped at my eyes dumbly, "But I'm really tired. So, Goodnight Edward."

"Bella," he began.

"Please?" I slightly begged, "Goodnight?"

He moved his foot from door, his eyes telling me how confused he was. But this time I just couldn't tell Edward what was wrong. And I knew that there were going to be more times like these where the words weren't able to come. I just hoped that Edward stayed with me through them.

"Goodnight," he said softly before heading across to his room.

I shut the door on Edward and returned to my bed, soaking my pillow sheets as I cried myself to sleep. The last thing I remember is squeezing Cheerio and hoping that the pain would ebb away.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	18. Chapter 18

You and Me: Chapter 18  
'_From here'_

My eyes burned as I attempted to peel them open. I knew this was because of my crying, and that they probably looked I'd been smoking pot for the past few hours straight. I groaned as I finally opened my eyes. The groan turned into a fully-fledged scream.

I hit him repeatedly with my pillow, "What the hell are you doing in my room!"

"Good morning to you too," Edward chuckled as he stretched, "Your eyes look like crap."

My mouth popped open, "Get out!"

"Wait, wait," he held up his hands in defense against my whacks, "I just wanted to talk."

"Normal people do that when the other person is awake," I said, "Not stalk them while they're asleep."

"I was just waiting," he shrugged, "What happened with you last night?"

"I'm having problems with my allergies," I pulled my blankets off of him, and tried not to gawk at the fact that he was in a thin, cotton t-shirt and delicious Hanes. "Go away."

"You and I both know that this is not allergies," he rolled his eyes, "why can't you just tell me what's wrong."

"I still can't talk about it," I shook my head, "Don't force me."

"I won't," he sighed, "Fine. Let's change the subject then. How did things go with Auden last night?"

"Things went fine," I told him, "We had a little put out, but it was nothing."

"A put out," Edward groaned into a pillow, _sweet mercy I need him out of my bed. _"How bad was it?"

"It was messy, but not bad," I patted his shoulder gingerly. I didn't want him to think I was preying on him, "Really. I only told you because you have the right to know everything about Auden. Otherwise, it's really nothing."

"What was the tantrum about this time," he asked.

"Turning off the TV," I replied, "every child's form of torture."

He laughed, "I should have known. SpongeBob was on wasn't it?"

I glared at him, "At least there's no ketchup on your precious sofa. Now get out of my bed. I need to get ready for the day."

"Alright," he rolled out of the bed dramatically and then crawled to the door. I laughed I threw my pillow at him, hitting him smack dab in the face, "Thanks, Bella."

"Hey Edward," I stopped him before he could get out of the room.

"What?"

"If you ever wake me up like that again, it won't be your face I'm hitting next time."

He chuckled as he shut the door. From the other side of the door I heard his velvet voice, "Thanks for the warning."

...

"Bell," Auden ran into the kitchen at around three while I was preparing his lunch, "Bell!"

"Hello to you too," I smiled at the out of breath child, "Why were you running?"

Edward came sprinting into the kitchen, shaving cream on his cheeks and forehead, "Auden! Come back here!"

Auden jumped behind my legs and gripped onto my thighs, using my lower half as a shield.

"Woah," I blocked the giggling child as Edward reached around me, "No running in the kitchen. Edward…you have a little something on your face."

Edward glared at me, "Auden needs to apologize."

"For making you look like an idiot," I laughed, "I agree. But how did this come about?"

"He rubbed shaving cream on my face when I fell asleep," he turned his glare to the younger boy.

"Serves you right for taking a nap only hours after you woke up," I said before moving out of the way, "Auden you do need to apologize to your father."

Auden's cheeks were red from laughing, "Sorry Daddy."

"Ugh," he sighed, "Whatever. But now it's going to take longer for us to go to the park. You coming Bella? We're going to play baseball."

"Sure," I shrugged, "sounds like fun, even though I have no sense of coordination."

"Baseball," Auden cheered as he did a little squatting dance. I couldn't help but laugh at this as I handed him his bowl of lasagna. "Thank you."

He raced off to sit down in front of the TV.

"Edward, go and wash your face before that thing gets in your eye," I instructed.

"You know, Bella," he ignored me and leaned back on the counter opposite of me, "if you pitch a ball half as good as you throw a pillow, you might have something going for you." He winked as he said this, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"I told you so," I rolled my eyes as I pulled him over to the sink, "Hold still."

"Ow," he complained, "Why the hell would you put something like this on your face?"

"Just shut your mouth and let me help you," I ordered as I hopped onto the kitchen counter and grabbed a towel. I passed the dish towel underneath the tap water before leaning down and wiped at his eye.

"Gah," Edward whined, "Bella."

I leaned closer to look at his eye and pulled him forward, "Open your eye,"

He complied and opened his eye. I brought my face to his and blew to help lessen the irritation.

"How does that feel," I asked.

Edward's eyes were locked on mine, "Better."

He leaned his face closer to mine slowly, moving his hands from the places beside me on the counter to my knees as I leaned my head in as well. I could feel the skin of his lips brush against mine just as something vibrated in my pocket. That was all it took for me to snap back into reality.

"It's um, Mike," I said as I hopped off the table, "Excuse me."

I walked past Edward and into the family room, "Hey Mike."

"Bella," he sounded genuinely happy to hear me, "How are you?"

I smiled, which was stupid seeing as he couldn't see it, "I'm great! How're you?"

"Not so good," he said, "I promised this extremely beautiful, sweet girl that I was going to take her out to dinner tomorrow night and now I have to cancel."

I had to admit I felt slightly disappointed despite the jittery feeling I had felt with Edward before, "Oh. Well, I understand."

"Nuh uh, uh," he said, "I have to cancel for tomorrow night. But I am asking if you'd be available tonight."

"Oh," my smile returned, "Yah, I'm completely free. I don't have any high profile events to go to or anything. What time?"

"How does nine o'clock sound to you?" he asked.

"Late," I laughed, "You're a busy man aren't you."

"Not too busy to not make time for you," he said, "but yes, I have this conference until around 8:30. So I was thinking I'd swing by and get you afterwards for a good dinner."

"That sounds good," I said, "So nine o'clock?"

"Yup," he said, "Sorry for the change, but if I get to see you sooner all the better right?"

"You're so sweet," I giggled. My cheeks were probably pink from flattery, "It's no problem. I'll see you later ok Mike? I have to go out with Edward."

"Tell Edward I said hi," he said, "Bye Bella."

"Bye."

I hung up and pocketed the phone before going to my room to shower and change. I peeked at Auden and was satisfied that the mess remained on his towel and face, not the carpet. After that, I headed to my room.

As the hot beads of water pounded and cascaded down my skin, I thought about Edward and mine's encounter. Why did it seem that every part of him, except his mind, wanted me? He had been the one leaning in and he had placed his hands on my knees and he had almost _kissed _me. I sat down on the very convenient shower stool and leant my head against the tile while I wasted time. How was I supposed to act now? That wasn't some accident…and neither of us had tried to stop it no matter how wrong it would be. In some sense I had obligations to Mike, and Edward definitely had obligations to Victoria. I switched the water to cold to help wash away my confusing thoughts. Cold water seemed to be the best way to make a person feel calm and numb.

After the shower I dried off, tugged on some clothes that I wasn't sure even matched and stuck a clip in my hair. It was just Edward and Auden, and although I wanted to it wasn't like I was trying to impress one of the two. I put lotion on my limbs, stuck my feet in my Converse and headed out of my room to where Edward was instructing Auden with his shoes.

"No, pull that one over there," he said.

"I'm trying," Auden huffed as he wrapped one shoelace around another.

"Other way," Edward corrected.

"It's stuck," the child complained.

Edward chuckled before squatting down and tying Auden's shoes for him. In that moment I felt my heart stutter. I loved the way Edward interacted with Auden. He was normally so tender and playful with him. It reminded me of the way my father would play with me the times I visited him in Forks.

The tear dropping on my shoe startled me. It caught Edward's attention,

"Oh, hey Bella," he smiled normally as if I hadn't been stalking him. As if we hadn't almost kissed. As if nothing had happened, "You ok?"

"Yah," I wiped my eyes quickly, "happy tears, I promise. Are we ready?"

"I believe we are," Edward nodded, "Are you ready Auden?"

"I like baseball," Auden cheered.

"I guess he's ready," Edward chuckled.

We walked to the park through the back to provide more safety and privacy. Two guards followed feet behind us, just to ensure our well being. I held onto Auden's left hand as Edward held onto his right. The two of us were quiet but Auden was chattering happily between, garbling something about the leaves and cars. We finally reached the park about five minutes later.

Ok, I wasn't going to lie and say that the park didn't amuse me because to be quite honest, I felt like a child on Christmas morning –no, I felt like Alice in Victoria Secret when there was a sale. I could barely contain myself once I saw the jungle gyms, spider webs, domes and slides. All of them were presented in appealing, bright colors and the obnoxious, neon, yellow swings were calling my name.

"Do we have to play baseball right now," I turned to Edward, "Can I go on the swings?"

Edward looked at me weirdly, "You want to go on the swings?"

"Yes," I bit my lip, slightly embarrassed. But nothing and no one was taking this away from me, "Please Edward? They're calling to me."

"They're calling to you," he raised a brow skeptically.

"Can't you hear them," I played and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "Bella…Bella…come ride me Bella."

"No, that just sounds like a raunchy old man," Edward answered.

I hit his arm, "Please!"

"Why are you asking?" he waved his arm, "Go ahead."

"Thank you," I raced off towards the swing and nearly peed myself once I sat in the crescent shaped, plastic seat. Thankfully, it seemed like one of those sturdy parks that older people could go on because the swing set didn't groan as I sat on it.

I pedaled my feet back and forth rapidly, not moving an inch except for shaking my swing.

"Do you even know how to swing," Edward said from where he was strapping Auden into a kid swing.

I glared at him, "Of course I do."

I kicked my feet more but stayed in the same place pathetically.

"Of course you do," Edward snickered.

I stuck my tongue out at him childishly before trying again. _How do you work these damn things! I remember it being much easier. _I looked at Auden for help but Edward was pushing him. This is so screwed up. _I want to swing too! _Knowing that this wasn't going to go anywhere (literally) I swallowed my pride,

"Edward," I said before grumbling quickly, "Can you please push me?"

"I'm sorry, what did you say," he pressed a hand to his ear.

"I said that you're an ass," I crossed my arms and turned my back to the smug Edward.

"Fine, fine, I heard you," he chuckled, "Auden hold on, I'm giving Bella a turn."

"Ok," Auden replied.

I felt Edward's hands at my lower back and resisted the urge to shiver,

"Edward, I swear if you push me off of this," I started.

"You'll what," Edward interrupted, "Bella, I'm helping you, a seventeen year old girl, swing. I don't think you're in any place to insult or threaten me."

The snap of my mouth was audible as I closed it. Point taken.

However Edward did not push me off the swings. He was actually very gentle as he pushed me. In seconds I was gaining speed and height and was able to pedal by myself. _I knew it wasn't that hard, just flipping difficult to start. _I shut my eyes and relished the feel of the air blowing past my face. Although the feel of swinging with your head tilted back was slightly unsettling, I couldn't help but do it over and over again to feel the rush of the world spinning past my closed eyes. After about five or more minutes on the swings, I was content and ready to get off. Of course, that seemed to be as difficult as starting.

"Edward," I said as I swung past him.

"What," I caught his word just as I swung back.

_Swing, _"How do I," _Swing, _"Get off," _Swing, _"This damn," _Swing, _"Thing."

Even when I was passing him I could hear his chuckle, "Jump."

_Jump? _

_Swing, _"How do I do that?"

"Once you go forward," _Swing, _"You let go," _Swing, _"and jump!" He replied.

That sounded easy. But that also sounded terrifying.

_Swing, _"Isn't there," _Swing, _"An easier way?"

"You could put your feet down," he answered as I passed, "but jumping is more fun. Are you scared?"

_Yes, _"No," I answered.

"Then jump," he told me, "I'll even stand in front of you to catch you. Just in case."

That seemed reasonable. Didn't it?

Self note: Don't ever trust Edward Cullen.

I did as he instructed. As soon as the pendulum (i.e me) swung forward, I extracted my arms from the chains and 'jumped.' And I guess it did work because I did jump. The only thing, was that I jumped and landed right onto Edward.

"Oh sweet merciful heaven," I groaned, not able to move. Edward's eyes thankfully fluttered open, "Are you ok?"

"No," Edward moaned underneath me. _Oh God, I just literally jumped Edward's bones. _"Ow."

"You said you'd catch me," I shrieked, "How the hell was that catching? 'I'll even stand in front of you to catch you. Just jump. Are you scared?'This is why I was scared." I hit him on the shoulder.

"You were supposed to land in front of me," he argued, "And again. OW. This is what I get for letting you fulfill a child hood dream?"

"Jumping is more fun," I repeated his words, "That was not fun! You just ruined the dream."

"Well I'm sure as hell not apologizing for it," Edward rolled his eyes, "You know, you could get off of me."

I could feel my cheeks burn as I rolled off of Edward and onto the leaves covered floor. I heard laughing in front of us. I lifted up my head, only to see Auden clapping and cheering in his swing seat, "Fun! I want play too!" he cheered.

"Alright," I said as I peeled myself (and my dignity) off of the ground and Edward followed suit, "Edward, go and take Auden out of the seat," I instructed.

"What, why?" Edward asked.

"Because, tag," I smiled cheekily, "you're it."

...

"Two homeruns," Auden repeated happily as we stepped into the driveway. He was still hyper from the park activities. I knew he'd crash later, "I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran. You see Daddy?"

"I did see," Edward laughed at Auden's enthusiasm, "you could be a baseball star kid. I'm proud of you."

Auden beamed at his father's praise as we walked up to the house. Edward handed me the keys and began untying Auden's shoes.

Once I entered the doorway I flicked on the lights, only to receive a heart attack,

"Crap," I gasped as the figure spun around in the moveable chair to face me, "Alice! What the hell are you doing sitting in the dark? Who are you, Al Capone?"

"Mike is coming to get you in two hours, why would you come home so late," Alice's face was truly terrifying. I was thinking she really was like the Chicagoan mobster.

"Alice I told you two hours ago," I said, "have you been sitting here the entire time?"

"How did you get into my house," Edward asked.

"Does it matter what I've been doing? What you're doing is not getting ready and that in unacceptable. Were you not thinking of me at all Bella?"

"No really, how did you get in? I locked the doors," Edward continued.

"I didn't know it took two hours to get ready for a date. What am I going to be doing for two hours?"

"Showering, doing your hair, changing, doing your makeup, changing and plucking and waxing and nail doing," Alice listed.

"You don't have a key. Not even the guards have keys. Did you change the lock," Edward was baffled, "Did you pick the lock?"

"Edward, I don't give a damn how I came in," Alice huffed, "Now say goodbye to Bella. If Mike comes before we're done occupy him."

I didn't even have the chance to say anything to Edward before Alice dragged me down the hall.

In my room were five different outfits displayed on my bed. None of them were too showing or really had any sex appeal, something I think I was thankful for. I could see in my walk-in closet that Alice had set up an array of makeup and hair devices all of which had me wary.

"Is this going to hurt?" I asked her.

"Define, hurt," Alice replied, "Physically hurt? Or emotionally hurt? Or maybe even the way I felt when I found out from _Jasper _that you are in love with Edward!"

"Alice!" I tackled her to the bed, my hand attached to her face, "I'm not in love with him! I just…have a small crush on him and please, please, please, do not talk so loud. I'd die if Edward thought I still liked him."

"You mean he knows?" Alice ripped my hand off of her mouth.

"He thinks I got over it," I informed her, "and I'm working on getting over it."

"Mike," she guessed.

"Mike," I confirmed, "I'm not using him though. I actually think he's a nice guy. I could see myself being with him."

"Marrying him, being with him?" Alice's eyes widened, "that's not going to work."

"I know, I know, I shouldn't be thinking about marriage already-"

"No," she shook her head, "Not that. You're going to end up with Edward."

"I guess Jasper didn't relay this in the information, but Edward told me he didn't like me back," I told her, "Sorry to burst your bubble."

"Maybe not now," she raised a brow, "But I know he will. No discussion, you need to go shower."

"I showered earlier," I complained.

She pointed to the bathroom, "You were out there in the park with fleas, parasites and worst, _Edward. _You need to go shower."

Knowing that I couldn't fight against the force that was Alice, I stripped myself and hopped into the shower. A few minutes later, I came out in my towel. Alice threw a bra and underwear at me and turned around to allow me some privacy. I pulled on the undergarments and waited for her next instructions. All of the outfits she thought looked cute and perfect, but none of them she thought were appropriate for a first date. Eventually she (I would say we but that would imply I had a choice) settled on a white Linen Bella (no pun intended) Tunic by Johnny Was, paired with dark washed, straight jeans and Tory Burch, metallic gold ballerina flats. I, of course, had not known all these brand names. Alice had just found it necessary to tell me.

I did find the tunic pretty though. I stroked the multicolored pansy embroidery on the bib of the caftan neckline before Alice pushed me into a wheelie chair and began her assault on my face. I was poked and prodded with the various makeup wands and brushes. It amazed me how fast Alice was moving. In about ten to fifteen minutes she had finished with my makeup and began adding large curls into my already wavy hair. In was when she was pulling back a few strands into a butterfly clip that the doorbell rang. All of a sudden I felt nervous.

"Alice," I groaned, "what if I screw this whole thing up?"

"Don't worry, there's only paparazzi watching you," Alice smirked.

"Some help you are," I hit her shoulder.

"Hold still so I can put this earring in," she aimed for the hole and missed.

"OW!"

"No pain, no gain," she said before trying again, "You'll be fine Bella, I promise. Just enjoy yourself. Don't even think about the paparazzi ok?"

I took a deep breath, "Your right. I just need to act normal."

_I don't remember dating Jake being this nerve racking…_No Bella. No thinking or comparing tonight.

It's just Mike.

"Show me your lips," Alice instructed.

"What do you mean they're right here," I asked confused.

Alice grabbed my chin and squeezed my cheeks so that my lips would protrude. _Oh. _She slathered on a baby pink, sheer lip gloss and afterwards showered me with sweet pea body spray.

"There," she smiled after giving me the twice over, "You're done. Besides that blasted gauze on your hand. If the scar underneath wasn't so nasty I'd rip it off."

I rolled my eyes and stood up to go check Alice's work. I didn't even get to look in the mirror properly before she shoved me out of the bedroom and barreled me down the hall.

"You're so aggressive," I huffed as she dragged me.

"This is what happens when you give me two hours to work with you," she rolled her eyes before giving me a short hug. "Have fun."

"Wait, Alice!"

She pushed me out into the entrance causing me to catch my toe on God knows what and fall. Thankfully, someone caught me. I looked up into the eyes of my catcher. They were blue, sparkling and charming. I couldn't help but smile.

"Well don't you make quite the entrance," Mike smiled at me before righting me, "You look beautiful Bella."

"Thanks" I smiled in return, "I think you know you look great though."

He laughed, "Doesn't hurt to hear it though."

"Right," someone cleared their throat behind us. I turned around only to see Edward still standing there. _Why the hell did I blush? _

"We'd better be off," Mike said and held out a hand to Edward, "Later, man."

Edward returned the shake, quite tightly I noted, "Remember what I said," he told Mike.

Mike laughed, "Don't worry, I'll treat her like a queen."

"What did you say to him," my mouth popped open, "Edward!"

Edward merely smirked, "have a good night Bella."

I stalked out of the house, my chin held high to help me keep the ounce of dignity I had left from spilling out. Mike came after me a few seconds later.

"Aw, Bella don't be mad," he said, "Edward's just looking out for you."

"Mike, not to be brash, but if you treat me as if I'm a toddler like Edward does, this date will not get very far," I warned him.

He nodded, "Don't worry, I think I'll refrain from that. It would freak me out to be going on a date with a toddler."

I laughed, letting the tension escape in the sound, "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"No it's ok, I like your unpredictability," Mike opened the car door for me, "your chariot awaits my lady."

I snorted at the corny line, "Great line," I told him once he sat in the driver's seat.

"That's exactly why I'm _behind _the camera, not in front," he joked, "and it will stay that way."

"So you find directing is more fun," I asked.

"To me it is," he answered.

As we talked about his job, it clicked to me that I was in a car with a famous director. I was on a date with a celebrity. I knew this was stupid because technically, I was a celebrity as well, but there were no technicalities about Mike Newton. He was rich, famous and talented. And I was in his car.

The thing was that as he spoke about his job he didn't do it in a way that was boastful or prideful. Mike was down to earth just as I was. It was almost as if he hadn't won tons of awards or been voted 'The Most Influential Young Adult in the Media' of the year. It was just Mike Newton from Phoenix, Arizona…who happened to own three production lines and was a millionaire at age 21.

I felt so ashamed of myself when we pulled up to the restaurant. I hadn't even asked or paid attention to where he was driving me. For all I knew he could driving me off a cliff and I wouldn't have been the wiser. _Cafe La Boheme, _I read as Mike helped me out of the car. He led me into the restaurant as a valet sped away his sports car.

"Wow," I gaped.

"Ah, small town girl, I've so much more to show you," he chuckled as he offered his hand for me to take. I took it, surprised by how nice it felt. Granted it didn't feel like Edward's hot and calloused hand, but- _no, no, no, no comparing. _This was Mike's hand. Mike's cool and smooth hand.

He had not been joking when he'd said this. Once I was inside of the restaurant it took every piece of me to have some class and not drop my mouth open. The interior of the restaurant was very well designed. The crystal chandeliers shone on the opulent, ruby-red walls adding to the already warm glow of the fireplace. Each table was covered in crisp, white table cloth and bordered by sets of black chairs. A waitress led us to a place not too far from the fire place. Thank God it wasn't right beside it though, wouldn't that be embarrassing if I began to sweat?

"This is really wonderful, Mike," I said after the waitress had left, "Thank you."

"It was no problem," he said, "I just had to go out with you some time Bella."

I didn't know what to say to this. I hoped he didn't compliment me constantly. I'd end up redder than the walls.

A waitress stopped by and poured red wine into our cups. I suddenly had a horrid flash of 'what if.' I pictured myself sneezing and sending the red wine everywhere, including on my new, white top. Alice would kill me. I hadn't even thought to tell the waitress that I was underage and probably shouldn't be drinking the wine. But I thought if it really mattered, she would have asked. So I took a sip and tried not to let on to Mike that this was the first time I tasted wine. Thankfully, it didn't burn like the original crap I'd tried the other night. This was sweet and smooth, gliding down my throat easily. I decided I liked wine, not only because it tasted good, but because it also helped as a little confidence booster.

"I hope you're not going to drink too much of that," I said to Mike playfully, but all the same serious, "You are the designated driver here."

He laughed, "Don't worry. After the pep talk Edward gave me, I'll be white faced, bright teethed and fully sober when I return you home tonight."

I groaned, "What did he say to you?"

"Just something along the lines of I'd better be careful," he shrugged.

"No really," I raised a brow. That didn't sound like Edward, "His specific words."

Mike rolled his eyes, "I believe he said, 'If you get into an accident with Bella, you'd better hope you die in the wreck."

My eyes widened, "I'm so sorry."

"That wasn't the best part," Mike leaned forward, "He also told me that if I touched you inappropriately in any way, that afterwards, I'd require 'one finger manageable' cameras only."

"He didn't," I resisted the urge to hit my head against the table.

"He did," Mike smiled, "but don't worry. I've been through worse with past girlfriends' fathers."

I laughed, "Worse?"

"A guy pulled a shotgun out on me," he shared, "I ended up going home."

I held a hand to my mouth to stifle my laugh, "I feel so horrid for you. And I thought Edward intimidating."

"He was," Mike agreed, but smiled at me warmly, "but it was worth it."

Cue blushing.

The night continued smoothly from then on. Our conversation stayed on him for most of the part but that was from my doing. I wasn't about to spill my past at a dinner table especially when I hadn't known Mike for more than a handful of hours. I did tell him vague facts about my childhood and likes or dislikes. I ended up eating this amazing Ahi Tataki (I didn't even know what it was, but I later learned that it was tuna) with avocado, cucumber and daikon carrot salad. To be honest I'd been looking for the cheapest and non-garlic or onion involving dish, but Mike had recommended this and it did end up being exquisite.

_ By me not wanting to eat garlic or onion, did that mean I was planning on kissing Mike? _The thought seemed odd since Edward had almost kissed me earlier in the day. The fact was that I was trying to get over him and Mike was proving to be a very promising cure…as long as I didn't think about Edward. And as long as I wasn't thinking about Edward, I was perfectly fine with Mike kissing me. I wouldn't initiate it, but if he tried, I wasn't about to stop him. The man was good looking, what can I say?

For dessert I ate the Meyer Lemon Crème Brûlée, which consisted of red berries, lemon curd, and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

"To be quite honest, the second something has the word curd I shy away from it," Mike scrunched his nose cutely, "it's not a pleasant word. And on top of that it brings up bad experiences with milk."

I laughed, "I don't even want to know."

Mike looked as if he mentally slapped himself in the head, "I'm sorry. That really was weird to say…it just came in my head and out of my mouth."

"Word vomit," I said before my cheeks heated, "Now I have to apologize for mentioning vomit at the table."

Mike chortled, "I like hearing it come from you though. You're always thinking something interesting. What are you thinking now?" He leaned in again and I knew it was a flirting gesture. I mimicked the action, completely fine with it.

"Are you sure you want to know," I smirked cheekily.

"Positive," he replied.

"I'm warning you," I told him.

"I'm prepared for anything you throw at me,"

"Alright then," I nodded, "I'm thinking….that the naked woman above the fire place is unsettling. It bothers me to have her watch me while I eat."

Mike's laugh was loud as he sat back in his seat. A few couples around us stared before returning to their conversations.

"I'm sorry," he wiped his eye, "I should've known that I really wouldn't expect it."

"I warned you," I shrugged before nodding to the couple who had looked at us, "I'm surprised they didn't notice you."

He shrugged as well, "Maybe I'm not as famous as you think I am?"

I rolled my eyes as the waitress came to our table and collected our plates.

About thirty minutes after we had finished eating, Mike checked the time and realized that it was midnight. I knew he was really busy so I wasn't offended when he said he had to bring the night to a close. Though that didn't stop the disappointed from coming as we left.

It was a little too silent as we stepped outside of the restaurant. _Way too silent. _

I should have known that I jinxed it.

"Mike Newton! Over here!"

It was like a sudden onset of a bee hive swarming to get the sting on the intruder; the ironic thing was that they were the intruders on our night. Within seconds I was crowded by reporters all vying to get their microphones in my face.

"Isabella Swan! What are you doing with Mike Newton?"  
"Are you two dating? When did you meet?"  
"How long has this relationship been going on?"  
"Did Mike bring you to Hollywood?"

Mike threw his arm around me and pushed us through the sea of cameras and flashes. I felt a clash between my head and some object but ignored it as Mike ushered me through the bodies. We were finally (and I don't know how) able to get to his car and speed away from the more than curious onlookers, if you could even call them that.

"Ow," I pressed a hand to my forehead and winced at the bump. That wasn't going to be pretty in the morning.

"Are you ok," Mike pulled over once we were out of sight, "That was brutal."

"I think I got hit with a light," I said, "but I'll survive. I guess we should have expected it though."

"I wasn't even thinking," Mike said, "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Don't be full of yourself, it's my fault to," I smiled, "you're not the only famous one they were calling for."

Mike's laughed was a little strained but it seemed to ease some of the tension, "I'd better start investing in prosthetic limbs. Edward's going to kill me."

I shook my head, "I'll hold him off while you escape. Come on though, any later and I won't be able tame him for you."

A borderline awkwardness settled in the small atmosphere as we sat in the car on the way home. I think it was the suspense of whether or not he'd kiss me or whether there would even be a second date. If he offered I would accept.

He pulled up to the house and got out of the car to open my door for me. It still shocked me how gentlemanly he was, and yet he wasn't too uptight to laugh about milk curd. I allowed him to hold my hand as he led me up to the front door. It was dark and silent while we stood outside.

Mike cleared his throat, "So, I really enjoyed myself tonight Bella, despite the attack."

I smiled, "I really did too. Thanks again for the dinner. You really know how to pick a place."

"It was my pleasure really," he said, "Hopefully it can be my pleasure again soon?"

I chuckled at his clever way of asking, "See, you're not too horrible with the lines. And of course, I'd love to go out again."

He smiled, "So I'll call you or you call me, whatever you want to do."

"Yah, I'm fine with anything," I refrained from sticking my hands in my pockets, "So…"

"Um," Mike looked at the ground. _Oh my gosh, is he shy? That's so cute! _It was also slightly comforting because this couldn't get any more awkward, "am I allowed to kiss you goodnight?"

I nodded dumbly because really, how are you supposed to reply to that?

Mike's lips connected to mine in a slow peck before he gained the confidence to recapture my lips between his. His lips were smooth and cool and soft, slowly handling mine with a subtle expertise. I moved my hands from their holds at my sides and gently, weaved them into Mike's straight, golden strands. I felt his hands take position at my waist and his thumbs brushed across my ribs _almost _nearing my chest. I shivered from the closeness before pulling back.

"Mike," I began.

"Was that too much," he said before apologizing, "I'm really sorry."

"No, don't apologize, that was great," my tone was breathy from the kiss, "I just…we do have to take it slow. I'm still a bit _fragile _from some things so you have to be careful with me."

"I'd never want to hurt you, Bella," he brushed his fingers across my cheek before placing a kiss on my forehead; "I'll go at whatever pace you want it to go."

I nodded and then placed a short kiss on his lips; "Thank you. Goodnight, Mike."

"Goodnight Bella," he smiled before going down the steps.

Before I could turn around he jogged back up the stairs and stole another peck, "Sorry," he chuckled, "I just couldn't help myself."

I laughed, "Goodnight Mike."

He waved as he walked back down to his car. I watched as he drove off before I finally stepped inside.

The entrance light was shut off as I entered causing me to slightly stumble on the down step. I did manage to make it across the room and through the doorway to where I saw a light shining. In the family room was Edward, eyes shut and arms wrapped around a snoring Auden. Edward's glasses had slipped to the edge of his nose and Auden's hand was attached to Edward's hair. But even in these differences I could see the startling similarity between the two as they slept. It was something about the way their mouths were opened, and their eyes were gently shut that made me see how much Auden resembled his father sometimes. I grabbed a blanket and lay it over the two of them after shutting off the TV, and removing the book from Edward's hand. _Wuthering Heights, _I read. I didn't see Edward as the kind of guy to be reading let alone reading this. I admit, it gave him (impossibly) more points in my book. I had thought I'd gotten away with moving around undetected right until I tried to remove the glasses from his nose.

His hand ensnared my wrist tightly, the contrast of Mike's hand to his very apparent in this moment. I held back a scream.

"Ugh," Edward gained full consciousness, "What time is it?"

"Time for you to let go of my wrist," I yanked it back, "I don't know how the hell you Cullens manage to scare me even when _I'm _the one conscious and you're not."

"You're talking way too much," he yawned before stretching like a disturbed cat. Auden still remained oblivious and in sleep. "Your breath smells like wine and why the hell is there a bump on your head?"

"Long story," I waved him off, "I was trying to be nice and cover you, but you went all exorcist on me. You should get Auden to bed."

He nodded before his eyes widened, "Did you _kiss _him?"

If he didn't have his three year old child in his arms I would have whacked him with a pillow. Instead I felt my traitorous lips, noticing that they were swollen, "That's none of your business."

"Did you do anything else," his expression was almost murderous.

"Cool your testosterone. No, and it's still none of your business. And I'm surprised you weren't waiting for me in the dark when I got home. I wouldn't put it past you after your lecturing of Mike. Drunk driving, really Edward?"

"I had to make sure he didn't try and pull a fast one," Edward shrugged, "Although everyone else forgets –or chooses not to realize –it, it doesn't mean I'm letting go of the fact that he's four years older than you."

"You know what? I'm going to bed," I sighed, "You're not ruining my night."

"Ugh," he groaned, "I'm sorry. That really wasn't my intention. Forgive me?"

"I'll sleep on it," I grumped, "Goodnight Edward."

I didn't wait for his reply as I left down the hall. For the second time in one night I had successfully walked out on Edward. As comforting as that should have been it wasn't. Once I crawled into bed, I tried to think of the way Mike had massaged my sides and how nice it had felt. Instead, I was left thinking about Edward and his damn mood swings. I hoped they would swing to a halt soon because all of his signals were sending me in a disorienting, spiraling circle. And I didn't want to be the one left with the whiplash.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	19. Chapter 19

You and Me: Chapter 19  
'_Cause it's you'_

Two weeks later.

The sounds of drums awoke me from my nap. I felt so cranky I almost considered asking myself what had died up my anus. But I knew it was because I'd been out late with Victoria.

Things were good in our relationship. She was nice to be around, not like a lot of girls I had dated in the past. Victoria was quiet, polite, and had a pretty giggle that made her seem that much cuter. The only thing was that sometimes she lacked a sense of humor. Almost as if she was more confused after I explained a joke than when the joke was actually said. But I didn't mind this. At least she wasn't one of those girls that laugh at everything you say even if you insult their mother. Victoria was womanly, collected, classy, and pleasant. I liked that.

However, at this moment, I wasn't feeling very pleasant. Actually, to put it quite frankly I was feeling like a steaming pile of shit. I had a pounding headache, a churning stomach and it felt unbearably hot on the couch. I didn't remember drinking that much to have gotten a hangover, but I supposed the operative words in that sentence were 'I didn't remember'. I did remember making out with Victoria though, which was a highlight of the night. She had thin lips, which was a contrast to previous injected lips I'd kissed before, but it was fine by me. She definitely had the experience. That was one of the perks of an older woman. Granted Victoria was only two years older than me at age twenty two, but I did not mind.

At the sound of more banging –it was rhythmic, but still annoying as hell –I threw my blankets off of me and went to cuss out Emmett. Imagine my surprise when I saw that it was Bella sitting on the seat of the drums with head phones attached to her ears and her naturally red lips forming words. Even though her eyes were closed her hands still moved to whatever song was playing, and she only slightly stumbled once or twice. _Of course Bella would pick up the drums so quickly. _I didn't want to ruin her playing, but my head was pounding and the sound was literally making me sick.

I plucked the earphone out of her ear, the surprise causing her to send a drumstick a good four feet behind her.

"Gah, don't surprise me like that," she gasped.

I rolled my eyes. I had learned in her time here that even dropping a spoon surprised Bella. She was hopeless.

"Ooh, you don't look too good," she scrunched her face, "Are you ok?"

"I'm actually feeling pretty sick," I admitted, "Do you think you can tone it down a bit."

"I'll get off," she stood, "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. You can't get sick though Edward, your birthday is tomorrow."

Ugh, that's right. The big two zero, "I'll be fine by then. I think it's just a mini hangover."

She raised a brow, "Hard night of partying with your leash holder?"

"Hey," I glared, "You've been attached to your phone in constant contact with _Mike. _I wouldn't call names."

I felt sickly satisfied at the blush that appeared before she spoke, "Whatever. Go back to sleep, Edward. Even though you generally don't deserve it, I'll bring you some soup later and take care of Auden for you while you sleep. How does that sound?"

"Like heaven right now," I felt minutely bad for bringing out the Mike card now, "Thanks Bella. And by the way, you're really tearing up the drums. In the good way."

Her smile was bright, "Thanks. Hope you start to feel better."

I walked to my room and flopped onto the bed. It didn't take even a minute for me to drop back into sleep. The first time I woke up after that was to eat the soup Bella had made me. When I next woke up it was very dark and very silent. I felt grossly hot and agitated and my throat burned and scratched. I rolled over to see the clock, and groaned at the time. It was 2 am, my lucky hour. I had been sleeping seven hours and my body chose this cruel hour to wake me up?

Happy Birthday me.

I sat up and once I did it was too late to realize my mistake. My stomach yelled at me, asking what the hell I was doing. I cupped a hand to my mouth as the bile raised in my throat and made its way out of my mouth and right onto the covers. I raced to my bathroom before more of a mess could be made. The retching sounds almost made me sicker as I spilled my dinner into the toilet bowl. This was absolutely revolting.

"Edward," I heard Bella's sleepy voice sound as she entered the room, "Crap."

I couldn't even tell her to leave as her arms wrapped around my torso and pressed on my stomach to help with my heaving. At first I was wondering what the hell it was that she was doing pressing on my stomach while I threw up. Then I realized how helpful it was to have her brace me against my lurching. Her arms served as a firm support when I sagged away from the toilet, finally finished with the disgusting act.

"You're really sick," she murmured as she lifted her hand up and grabbed something off the top of the sink. I found out that it was a wash rag once she used it to wipe my mouth. Afterwards she laid me back so that I was sprawled out across the door jam, one half of me in my room and the other half of me in my bathroom, "Stay there, I'm coming back."

"Trust me I'm not going anywhere," I groaned as her figure disappeared in the dark. A few minutes later she returned with her arms full of supplies. I almost laughed at how prepared she seemed. Bella always seemed to know what to do in situations.

She pulled from her stash a bottle of water and told me to rinse my mouth out. I was so trashed I would have followed her off of a cliff if she had instructed me to. Afterwards she handed me one of Auden's mini juice boxes.

"Really?" I chuckled.

"You need some fluids," she shrugged.

I finished the juice box in a few sips before I pulled a three pointer and chucked it into the trash can. I would have to boast about that later. Bella handed me mouthwash and I happily accepted it.

"I'll help you to your bed after you're done," she said.

_Ugh, _I groaned.

"Fine," she said, misinterpreting my action, "do it yourself bastard."

"No," I actually felt embarrassed, "I was sick on my bed."

"Oh," she laughed, "That's ok. I'll go change the sheets."

"No, Bella I couldn't ask you to do that," I objected.

"You didn't, I offered," Bella waved me off, "Besides, what are you going to do sleep on the bathroom floor?"

She had a point.

Bella didn't even give me the chance to come up with another argument before she was ripping the sheets off the bed gingerly and carrying it to where I guessed was the laundry room. She came back minutes later with a new pile of sheets and coverings in her hands. I closed my eyes, the bright light of the bathroom irritating my headache.

"Edward," the faint voice called.

I opened my eyes to see her familiar plump lips inches from my own. I realized that she was merely leaning over me, "Edward, wake up. I can't carry you."

"I'm tired," I groaned.

"You have a fever," she said, "of course you're tired. But you need to help me help you."

"Too many words," I rolled over.

"Sit up," she instructed. With her help I managed to get myself in a standing position. My arm thrown over her shoulder and her small frame supporting a lot of my weight, she helped me stumble to the bed which I realized had been made over, even the pillow cases.

The new, clean smell of detergent made me feel slightly better as I lay my head on the cool pillow. Bella pushed my feet in and pulled the sheet over me since I'd rapidly gone from burning to shivering.

"Open up your mouth," she said.

Confused, but completely willing, I complied. She tilted back my head and poured an unknown, dark liquid into my mouth. For all I knew it could be poison…cherry poison.

"Gah," I nearly coughed it back up, "What is that?"

"Children's Tylenol," she answered, "You didn't have anything else, sorry."

"That's horrible," I spat.

"Yah, well, you're sick," Bella chuckled, "You should take what you can get. Anyways, there's water on your bedside and a trashcan on the floor here in case you get sick again. I'm always right across the hall if you need me ok? All you have to do is shout my name."

I couldn't help but stare at Bella. Despite my coldness, it warmed me that she had been so selfless to take care of me even at…four o'clock in the morning. I didn't think she knew how much this meant to me. It'd been so long since I'd had someone to take care of me like this. The last person who had was my mother Esme and that had been years ago. A feeling of loneliness came over me as Bella started to trail away.

"Bella," I found myself saying before I even realized.

"Yah Edward," she turned around.

"Could you…would you please…would you mind staying with me?" I finally asked.

Her smile was small as she answered, "Of course."

I was at least able to uncover a spot for her on the bed so she could crawl in easily. As soon as she was tucked in and settled, I couldn't resist putting my arm over her in a weak attempt at a hug. I already felt the tiredness wash over me as I nestled my nose into her silk chocolate locks. It seemed impossible to even open my eyes, but I remembered I had to tell Bella something,

"Bella," I said again.

"Hm," came her tired reply. I heard her yawn, "yes Edward."

I murmured to the back of her neck, "You're amazing."

"Anytime Edward," Bella's words were faint but I had heard them.

I smiled at this reassurance, and kept smiling right until I fell asleep to the smell of strawberries.

...

I woke up to an empty bed the next morning feeling marginally better, but not up to leaving my room, which was lame seeing as it was my birthday. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was slightly disappointed. Why would Bella stay anyways? She had been simply doing me a favor and I had to remind myself that there was nothing going on between us. The image of her taking care of me in a relationship was highly appealing, but beyond that I still didn't see us being compatible. Plus, I was dating Victoria and Bella seemed to be happily dating Mike. Even though I still didn't like him. Or rather I didn't like him _with _her for some reason. The media however was eating it up, and no one had died down about the mysterious celebrity dating the famous _Mike Newton. _Bella was already ridiculously famous and no one even knew her middle name.

"Edward," a knock sounded. I nearly ran to the bathroom at the person's voice. I really didn't have the energy for her, "Edward."

"Come in, Alice," I sighed.

"Well don't sound too excited," Alice rolled her eyes once she strolled in, "you look awful."

"Thanks for saying happy birthday," I scoffed.

"It's not your birthday today," she smiled mischievously.

Oh no. The day had come. Alice had officially lost it.

"Uh," I didn't even know what to say.

"Don't look at me like that. I mean, yah, it's technically your birthday but we're not celebrating it today. Bella came up with such a wondrous thought. She said since you were sick and it wasn't fair for you to spend your birthday in bed we'd just pretend it wasn't your birthday and have it once you get better. I mean it's only a birthday if we act like it right? So no one's allowed to say happy birthday to you until we celebrate."

I actually felt myself smiling, "Thanks. I really appreciate it."

"Once again, I think of Bella in awe," Alice eyed me, "Which is why you need to dump that woman waiting outside."

"Victoria's here?" I asked, "When were you going to tell me?"

"I wasn't," Alice snickered, "but I decided not to be so cruel. But really Edward, take a few more days of your playing and then get to the real thing."

"What are you talking about," my eyebrows furrowed automatically. I found myself making this expression and asking that question a lot when I encountered Alice. If she wasn't related to me, I'd think that she wasn't normal.

"I mean that you need to hurry up and get together with Bella," she rolled her eyes once again. I was waiting for the day when they'd get stuck, "you're really putting off my schedules."

"Alice, for the last time there isn't going to be anything between Bella and I," I told her.

"Yah, yah," she waved me off, "keep thinking that."

"No," I made sure my tone was more serious, "Stop Alice. I'm not joking with you. Get this crazy fantasy out of your head that Bella and I are going to be together."

"What is wrong with you," Alice's voice dropped to a low tone, "We both know that Victoria isn't right for you. You don't like her, and although I can't figure it out I know there is a reason why you're staying with her. I'll make sure that I tell you once I do know."

Alice grabbed her purse from beside her and stalked out of the room, making sure to slam the door loudly. My head throbbed a bit from the loud sound and added pressure of her words. I knew she'd come around later.

Another knock sounded at the door, and I was beginning to get thoroughly annoyed.

"What," I snapped.

The door creaked open and Victoria's head popped in sight, "Edward?"

"Oh," I sighed, "Sorry Vicky. I'm just a bit off right now."

"I know, you look terrible," she smiled sympathetically before coming over to place a chaste kiss on my cheek, "I stopped by to say happy birthday."

Apparently she hadn't gotten the memo. The idea seemed a bit ruined now.

I plastered on a smile, "Thanks. That was really, uh, thoughtful of you to stop by. How are you?"

"I'm good," she sighed, "tired though. Not as much as you probably are."

"Yah," I agreed, "I'm pooped."

She scrunched her nose and I couldn't help but compare it to Bella's face when she did the expression. I concluded that Bella's was in fact cuter.

"I don't like that expression," she said, "it's a bit childish."

_Um, ouch. _

"Sorry," I replied, "I'll refrain from using it."

"Edward," Bella burst into my room, "It's just us for dinner tonight because the gang claims they don't want your rabies –oh. I'm so sorry…hi Victoria."

"Hi Bella," Victoria smiled largely, "it's really nice of you to be taking care of Edward."

Bella nodded before chuckling, "Well someone has to…um. Did you want to have dinner with us?"

"It's ok," she shook her head, "I actually have another dinner to attend. Thank you for asking though, we should plan for that some other time. I heard your food is to die for."

"I'd like to think so, yah we should plan that sometime," Bella murmured, "I had better leave you two. Edward, Auden wanted to see you but I think it'd be best if he stayed away from this germ bomb site. You know children and their immune systems."

"Right," I said, "Thanks, Bella."

"Whatever," she grumbled as she headed back out of the room.

I didn't think things could get any more awkward but of course the silence that followed Bella's departure destroyed that thought.

"So, you and Bella are pretty close," Victoria noted.

"Yah," I said knowing exactly where this was going. I decided to stop it in its tracks, "There's nothing going on between us."

"Oh I know," she replied, "It's nice that you've taken her under your wing."

"She's not a broken bird," I tried to keep the bitterness from my voice, "she's a part of our family just as much as Jasper or Emmett is."

"I see," she said.

The conversation crashed to another halt after she'd said this. As much as I liked Victoria, right now I didn't really feel up to her company. Which was understandable wasn't it? I mean, a sick man could not want their girlfriend there couldn't he?

"You look tired," Victoria said, "I'll let you rest. I can't stop by tomorrow though so I'll call you or something ok?"

"Yah," I pretended to yawn, "Thanks babe. I'll see you later ok?"

She pressed another kiss to my forehead, "Bye Edward."

After she left I tried to will myself back to sleep due to my new unsettled feeling. Being the avoider of problems that I was, I credited the new feeling to the sickness and not the conversation I'd had with either Victoria or Alice.

**Bella's Point of View **

Later the night of Edward's 'not' birthday, I was woken up by the sounds on knocking. My head was pounding and my ears seemed to be ringing, but I chalked it up to the fact that I was just waking up. It was almost like déjà vu as I looked at the alarm clock and read the green numbers saying 2:24. However this time it wasn't me going to Edward, it was Auden coming to me. I ignored my stomach rolling as I climbed out of my bed to go open the door.

"Hey peanut," I stretched. I suddenly noticed that he was sniffling, "What's wrong?"

"Bell, I'm sick," he whimpered.

"Oh no," I hushed him, "you got it too didn't you?"

He nodded as I picked him up and carried him back to his room. He seemed to be carrying a temperature.

"It's alright," I soothed as I placed him to sit on the floor in his room. Unbelievably, Auden had been sick on his bed like Edward had. Unfortunately, he was too restless for me to keep on the floor. I ended up taking him to the family room so he could watch TV while I dealt with his bed.

I ignored the nausea I felt as I peeled the bed sheets off of the mattress. I only managed to get the dirty covers down the hall until I was sprinting to my bathroom the heave up the contents of my stomach.

_I can't believe I'm sick too. _

"Bella," a groggy Edward sounded behind me, "Oh hell."

It was almost ridiculous how the events had turned. It was now Edward's muscular arms wrapping around _me _and holding my hair as I was sick. He was the one to help me rinse my mouth out and even brushed my hair back out of my face.

"Auden's sick too," I mumbled as he carried me easily, which was the only difference in our scenarios. But hey, I had no upper body strength and Edward probably weighed around a hundred and ninety pounds, "Can you take me to the family room."

Edward nodded as he took me down the halls to where Auden was slumped on the couch looking miserable. Edward set me down on the couch and joined us. His breaths were labored and his skin was pale. I remembered that he was still sick and felt horrible about him having to carry me.

"We are a terrible bunch," I laughed weakly.

"I'm tired," Auden complained.

"I hear yah," Edward shut his eyes briefly before opening them and forcing himself to stand, "I have an idea."

"This sounds dangerous," I mumbled.

"Shut up sickly," he stuck out his tongue.

I watched as Edward bent over and retracted the pull out bed from the other side of the couch. I had to peel my eyes off of his behind as he did this and was slightly disturbed by the fact that even in my moment of weakness I could still check him out. Suddenly I was being lifted and placed in the spacious bed and Edward joined soon after with Auden in his arms. He picked up a remote, shut off the lights and pulled a blanket over our three ill bodies.

"Goodnight you two," he whispered.

"Night," Auden garbled.

"Whatever," I barely murmured right before I fell asleep.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	20. Chapter 20

You and Me: Chapter 20  
'_And me'_

The room was oddly quiet. I supposed that was because both Jasper and Alice were at home ill as was Emmett. Two days after Edward, Auden and I had deemed ourselves cured of the stomach flu Alice and then Jasper had been struck with it. Luckily we'd been able to celebrate Edward's birthday before they got sick. The day consisted of Alice like festivities from bobbing for apples to clubbing. I had never expected it, but Edward seemed to enjoy himself thoroughly.

**Hey babe :) **

I snuck my phone out from my purse and smiled at the text message from Mike. He must have a break in his meeting. I liked the way he used his free time to talk to me even though he had so little of it. The attention was flattering and I found myself enjoying it and his company. Mike was a charmer and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't charmed.

Edward on the other hand was not charming. Edward was a dirty, conniving, jerk who was going to get it bad this afternoon. My cheeks heated as I remembered what had happened a few hours earlier. My face grew impossibly darker as I remembered the way I had screamed and rolled out of the bed. Auden and Edward's laughter had echoed around me as they waved the plastic cockroach in my face. I met Edward's curious gaze with a glare to which he shrunk in his seat, _you're so paying for that Cullen. _

**Hey big shot. Is your camera boring you? **

He answered back almost immediately, **you're always more interesting. **

"Is there something you want to share with us, Isabella," Max suddenly sounded behind me as he plucked my phone out of my hand. I felt as if I was a student caught passing notes. Essentially it was the same scenario.

"You're texting Mike," he dropped the phone in his desk, "How quaint."

Edward snickered beside me where his phone was positioned in his lap.

"Edward's texting Victoria," I ratted.

Edward glared at me –to which I very maturely, stuck out my tongue –once Max held out his hand to receive the device. He placed the cell in the intimidating man's meaty hand and sat back grumpily in his chair.

"Sorry to disrupt your steamy session," I smiled.

"Your maturity baffles me," he replied.

"Enough," Max banged his coffee cup against the counter. I made a mental note to get him a gavel for his birthday present, "You two are really scratching my ass right now."

"Bella, what's ass?" Auden who was placed between Edward and I, asked.

Edward's eyes widened, and I suppressed a giggle.

"Do I really have to be here," Rosalie snapped, "I could seriously care less about love lives or asses."

"What's ass," Auden insisted.

"Ok," I interrupted, "Ok, enough. No one else say that word. Let's move on ok? I apologize Max. What were you talking about?"

I was administered a rather hostile glare from Max as he leaned back in his seat, "I was talking about the upcoming concert."

I nodded, "Right, Earth Day."

"Whatever it's called, you all have failed to pick a song for the deadline so we've been assigned one. It's called _Do you Feel _by The Rocket Summer. Have you heard of the song?"

Edward and I shook our heads, "I've heard it once or twice."

"Well this sets us back," Max sighed, "Your feeble minds are not grasping what we have on our plate right now. First is the Environmental Awareness concert then we have interviews, photo shoots, album practices, and tour rehearsals."

"Album practices," I asked, "There's going to be a new album so soon?"

"My colleagues and I agree that with you newly signed on the label that we should produce an album that includes you. First we're going to release a single to test the waters and then we'll hit the public with a new album."

Edward raised a brow, "And this single is…"

Max smiled mischievously, "When the Shores Rise."

My heart dropped the second I heard the name of the song, "I-I'm redoing Tanya's song?"

"She's redoing Tanya's song," Edward repeated in shock.

"Is there a problem," he asked.

There was a silence in the room as Max waited for someone to challenge him. The thickness of the tension was so suffocating I could actually feel my face begin to heat. I prayed that after I said this I would still have a job, "I do."

As if someone insulted his mother, Max whipped his head around to face me. I didn't know why, but he seemed to try and calm his expression before asking, "What is the problem Isabella?"

I caught Edward gaze, "I don't think Auden should been in here for this."

"How about we go get some ice cream little man," Rosalie volunteered. As she exited the room with the excited little boy, we exchanged a look. I knew this look meant I was to tell her every detail about what was discussed.

"Right," Max said, "Now that Auden has gone, please continue."

"When I agreed to join the band," I started, "It was with the mindset that I was not _replacing _Tanya, rather than filling the position she left."

"What the hell does that mean," I could see Max getting more and more agitated and decided to choose my words carefully.

"By letting me redo the song, you are automatically opening up the portal for comparison," I told him, "and I know that the comparison between me and Tanya is inevitable, but I don't want to spur it on. I want to make my image as a band as Bella, the new member, not Bella, the one who replaced Tanya. I don't want to erase her." And I meant this in more ways than one…

"_Erase her?_" Max snarled, "She erased herself when she went off. Tanya is old news –you are what's in."

"It's not like she didn't exist," Edward put in, "As much as I hate to admit it, we couldn't have become famous without her."

"And I don't appreciate being referred to as if I'm a fad," my hands were fisted at my side, "Plus, Edward's right. She helped HGS become what it is. We don't have to try and cover up what HGS was like with Tanya we can just begin a new chapter with me."

"We are doing this for you," Max's voice was raised, "This is to show how much better, and more talented you are in this 'new chapter.' Who will it affect if you redo the song?"

My chair clattered behind me as I stood up, contemplating whether I was going to beat or strangle this man, "How would you feel if you knew you were extinguishing the remnants of someone's mother," I yelled before clamping a hand over my own mouth.

"Why would you care," Max's tone radiated coldness, "_she's dead." _

Everything seemed silent except for the intake of breath I heard from the body beside me. In all of this I had forgotten Edward. I'd forgotten the fact that Tanya wasn't just Auden's mother, but she was Edward's wife. And although he never showed any distress relating to her, I knew that it must plague him that she's dead. I wanted to reach out to him, or wanted just to touch his hand and show him how sorry I was, but I couldn't. For the first time in weeks I felt out of reach to Edward.

I watched as he scrambled his way out of his chair and left the room,

"Oh God," I held my stomach as I leaned over the table. I felt physically sick at the thought of how Edward felt.

"As long as you don't throw up on my table," Max grumbled.

"You sick bastard," a second round of anger bubbled within me. I stalked up to the man reclining in his black chair, "All I've done is swallow your crap about how the Paparazzi loves this and how the public loves that and I've tolerated it long enough. You might be our manager but you do not ownus."

Max chuckled as he leaned in closer to me, "In fact I do. Your signatures prove it. Every dime you make, every song you sing or write belongs to me. You think you can just come into this band, and run everything the way you want?"

I laughed back in his face, catching him off guard. "Max, I know you're not a stupid man, so please don't talk foolishly. Think about it. I was nothing before, I can go back to being nothing again very easily."

"I can make you nothing again if you'd like," he threatened, "You all need me."

I chuckled once more, "But it's not only me who needs you. You need me."

Max snorted, "How the hell do I need you?"

I rolled my eyes, "_Every dime _I _make, every song _I _sing or write belongs to you. _We are the only popular band that you have signed and I know that other labels are dying to get their hold on HGS. I also know you're so money hungry that you'd do anything to keep us. And top of that, like you said, I'm fresh and talented bait. You wouldn't want to give me up with all the publicity I'm giving you. Publicity you haven't gotten since Tanya left."

Knowing I had caught him in his track, he dropped all façades of confidence, "So what is it that you want?"

"I want you to stop acting like you have no heart, because somewhere underneath your fat exterior I know there is one. So I'm going to make a suggestion that you're going to want to consider. Whatever personal issues you have that are causing you to be such a bitch_, _deal with it before you come to work," I gathered my purse and Edward and mine's phone before going to the door. I made sure to make my message very clear to Max before I left. The next words I said were a promise to me and to him,

"Because if you ever say or do something so callous as to hurt any of the Cullens like that again I will end you."

...

**How's he doing? I thought you both got over the sickness? **

I read the text that Mike had sent to me, and sighed as I typed out my reply,

**I guess he didn't get over it fully. I'm really sorry I missed our lunch date. **

His reply was almost immediate. Mike wasn't one to delay on texts,

**It's ok, I know you two are close. I've just missed you for the past two days. **

I smiled as I typed back,

**I know. I missed you too. **

I sighed again as I dropped my phone in my back pocket and headed to the kitchen. The last two days had been brutal as Edward was locked in his room. Auden was allowed to go in there whenever he pleased as long as he was quiet, but the rest of us were meant to give him space. He was given his meals by Auden, as well as messages or mail. I stayed in the house to take care of Auden and Edward while brewing over my own demons. My feelings were a constant mix of pain and guilt, and I spent most of my free time reading or practicing Emmett's drums in the soundproof booth.

Emotionally exhausted from the day I stripped myself of my clothes and climbed into the shower. My tears mixed in with the rush of water, the salty and freshwater meshing together as I scrubbed my skin raw.

My thoughts dulled and then numbed I pulled my spaghetti strap and boy shorts on, not bothering to change my hair from its damp bun. As I closed the bathroom door behind me and entered my room, I slid against it to the ground, allowing myself to take a breath. I pressed the heel of my hands to my eyes and tried to push away the oncoming headache.

"Bella,"

I snapped my head up, noticing I was not alone. I closed my legs together, always hyper aware when I was with Edward. Could you blame me though? I was in my underwear! Why was it that whenever I encountered Edward I was somehow rendered a babbling fool?

There he was, sitting against my headboard in all of his Edwardian glory.

I peeled myself off of the floor, "How long have you been sitting there?"

"For some time," he said. "Are you coming to bed?"

"With you in it," I raised a brow as I shut off the lights and climbed in. I pulled my blankets tight around me, not wanting to reveal anything to Edward, and wanting to keep myself from touching him. I owed it to Mike.

"I had to apologize," he said.

"For what," I rolled over to face him.

"Holing myself up in my room," he shifted himself so that he was underneath the blanket with me. _Oh no, _I thought, _this is not good. This is not right. Tell him to leave! You're in your underwear. _

But he needed a friend, and that's what I was to him.

"You needed space, no one blames you for that," I sighed, "Everyone has their times."

"I dumped my child on you," Edward pressed, "Which I also have to thank you for taking care of him."

"I care for Auden," I said simply, "I couldn't just leave him. Really Edward, we can just let this go."

"I-I can't let it go just yet," Edward's voice shook. In the dark I could see lift his hands to his eyes. And in that second any other ties didn't matter. I had weird obligations to Edward, and one of them was to hold him when he needed me.

Not caring about my underwear or my hair or Cheerio (who was watching this all), I shimmied my way over to him. All I felt was warmth as I entwined my legs with his and tucked my arms under and around his body.

"I can't erase her," I felt his tears warm on my shoulder.

"I know you can't," I whispered as I stroked my finger through his unruly mane.

"I-I still love her," he voice was hoarse and full of emotion, "but at the same time I hate her."

"It's the old her that you love," I replied, "the one that was free of drugs and loving your child. There's nothing wrong with that Edward. She gave you Auden, so you're going to always feel something for her."

"But she left," he cried, "and now I'm here, not able to give Auden everything he needs."

I tilted Edward's face up so that he could see how serious I was, "Stop trying to play superhero. You're giving him everything you can, and that's enough."

"How do I know when I'm being a good father," Edward croaked.

I bit my lip as I pulled up memories, "When you spend your free time trying to please them, you're a good father. Each time you press a kiss to their head goodnight before saying you love them, you're a good father. When they miss you five years after you die, you're a good father," I choked on my words, "And when you cry because you're doing everything you can to make sure they're happy, you're a good father. You are a great father Edward."

His arms tightened around me as he pulled me closer to him, his face tucked into my neck. My body was a messy, tangle of emotions from the way our skins were touching. Wrongly, I traced shapes on his back, scratching my nails up and down the muscle defined plane. My other hand was still underneath his head while my fingers played with his roots. Everything in me stilled when I felt his mouth press to my neck. His plush, warm lips created a contrasting, cool layer of goose bumps on my skin. I looked down at Edward, more than confused of his actions. However, this didn't make me stop him from bestowing another hot kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"I-I think," I disentangled myself from his arms so that I actually _could _think; "I think I should go to bed now."

"Yah," Edward cleared his throat as he climbed off of my mattress, "Um. Thanks for everything Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward," I squeaked from underneath my blankets.

"Goodnight," he said as he shut the door behind him.

**Edward's Point of View**

"Sh," someone giggled as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

"More," a younger voice I recognized as Auden's laughed.

"Just one more," something touched my face as they erupted in a fit of laughter together.

I lifted my eyelids which felt abnormally heavy and sticky. My lips felt greasy as I opened them to speak.

What the," I started as I wiped at my lip. I drew back my hand only to see a smudge of blood red.

_Lip stick? _I looked at the laughing pair in front of me holding the incriminating tools; a mascara wand, a blush brush, and lipstick. "_Bella." _

Her doe eyes widened as she froze, "Auden, run!"

They sprinted away as I heaved myself up from the couch and began the trail after them. Auden had already slipped away and hid so it was just Bella I had to go and murder.

"Bella," I shouted as I raced down the hallway.

"Edward," she yelled back and rounded the corner. She leapt over a chair and dodged around the counter before running down the hall opposite to me.

I was a few feet behind her as she passed out the back door and into the expansive yard. She half stumbled as she flew down the steps to go down the garden.

"Help!" she screamed as she made it into the maze.

"You are so going to pay," I stepped into the maze and froze. _Where is she? _

I was bowled over by a force, and knocked clean off of my feet. All I could feel were warm curves pressed against me while hands smaller than mine pinned my arms to the grassy ground. I looked up to see Bella's wide, scared eyes,

"Please don't hurt me."

Either I just had a very good nap, or I was going insane because as I looked at Bella's worried and adorable expression all I could do was laugh.

"Ok, what happened," she raised a brow, "Did you have an extremely great dream?"

"No," I caught my breath, "Your expression was just priceless. You looked scared."

"I thought you were going to kill me," she chuckled, "I mean, I put makeup on your face."

"I know," I nodded.

"You look pretty stupid," Bella added.

I squinted my eyes at her, "I know."

"You look like a drag queen," she raised a brow.

I glared at her, "Let's not push it."

I could feel her stomach against mine as she giggled softly.

I laughed with her, "That tickles."

Her face grew bright red as she rolled off of me, "Sorry."

I cleared my throat, "Uh, yah."

We both sat avoiding each other's gazes as the reminder of what happened last night sunk between us. I didn't know why she look uncomfortable seeing as I was the one who had made a move on her. _Ugh, what was I thinking? _Ok, so I knew what I was thinking, but it wasn't right for me to be thinking it. Bella was a seventeen year old girl who was still trying to find her way, and here I was complicating things for her. And as much as I wanted to say I felt nothing for her, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. Because it was obvious that I was physically drawn to her…but emotionally? I still couldn't see myself being with Bella. Granted she always made me feel better when I was down as well as I always had fun with her. But that wasn't enough for me.

"What are you thinking?" Bella asked.

I sighed, "Last night…"

"Yah," she nodded, "I figured we'd need to talk about that."

"I think I just, got caught up in my emotions," I told her.

For a moment I thought I had seen a flash of what looked hurt cross her face right before the expression turned unreadable, "I see," she answered.

I avoided her gaze, "So I'm sorry, for misleading you," I continued. "Can you forgive me?"

For a few moments she was so quiet I had to turn to see if she was in fact still there. She was there alright. She sat with her knees tucked in her chest as she stared blankly ahead.

"Bella," I reached for her, unsurprised when she pulled it back.

Her next words were nearly inaudible, "I'm fine."

"Ok," I said warily, unsure of how to act now. "Do you want to head inside?"

She shook her head and gave a small smile. It didn't even touch her eyes, "I'll meet you later."

Nodding, I hefted myself off of the ground and began walking away from where she sat. I was hesitant with each foot a gained away from her form. As odd as it may sound, I couldn't help but think that with every step I took away from her, things between Bella and I would not be the same.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	21. Chapter 21

You and Me: Chapter 21  
'_And all of the people'_

"So this is nice," Victoria chirped as she forked another leaf of lettuce into her mouth. My knuckles were white as I clenched my fork. I had made this entire, flipping, elaborate dinner for her and she comes and takes the salad; the salad that she tainted with her homemade dressing.

"The dinner is really scrumptious Bells," Emmett smiled.

"Yah it really is," Victoria agreed.

"How would you know," Rosalie eyed her as she chomped murderously on her piece of steak, "You haven't eaten any of it."

Victoria looked down at her plate immediately, and I couldn't help but feel bad.

"I saw your spread in _Seventeen _magazine," I spoke up, "You looked absolutely gorgeous. I liked the short bio as well."

"Thanks," she smiled widely, "I can't wait to see your concert tomorrow."

I resisted the urge to spit out my beef, "You're coming?"

"Of course," Victoria nodded, "I normally go to Eddie's concerts."

Alice coughed on her wine, "That's so sweet," she grinned evilly at Edward, "Isn't it _Eddie?" _

"If you'll all excuse me," Jasper mumbled and stood up from the table. As he passed me he mumbled, "I need a beer."

"Grab me one would you," Emmett called.

I stood up quickly and cleared my throat, "I think I'm going to go check on the desert."

"Right," Edward interjected, "Bella, do you want me to help you with the desert in the kitchen."

_Uh, oh, _"No, I'm fine," I said quickly as I began to collect peoples' empty plates, "You don't need to."

"No, really," he grit through closed teeth, "I'll help."

We shared a long glance before continuing to pick up the eating utensils and heading to the kitchen. I would be lying if I said things weren't tense between Edward and me over the past month. Ever since that day when he had made it clear for the _second _time that he held no feelings for me I had been very careful to avoid physical contact as well as anything that might hint to me feeling anything more than platonic for him. I literally poured my feelings into the relationship with Mike, which was definitely going well, and could honestly say that I was slightly falling for him. The only problem was the nagging feeling of the tension with Edward. Somehow I knew that it would take a while for me to extinguish every spark I held for him. But that didn't make me a bad person did it? I was still, faithfully, with Mike. And I'd, technically, never kissed Edward.

"Would it kill you all to act civil," he dumped the plates in the sink, "I mean really."

"How was I acting uncivil," I asked, "I even complimented her."

"She's not stupid," Edward whispered harshly, "She can see the looks you guys exchange."

"Well that's what happens when you put your own dressing in somebody else's salad," I whispered back.

"You're just upset that somebody doesn't like your food," he scoffed, "How mature."

"You're talking to _me _about maturity," I laughed, "_Eddie." _

"Let it rest would you," He rolled his eyes, "you're just jealous."

"Of who, Victoria the Miracle Grower," I chuckled, "I'm very jealous. And don't even bring up my old _crush _on you. That ship has sailed and sunken."

"No you're jealous of the fact that my girlfriend can actually make time for me," Edward retorted, "I wasn't surprised that Mike couldn't make it."

"Maybe that says something about his success compared to Victoria's," I raised a brow.

"Or maybe that says something about how much time he wants to spend with you," he fired.

"You are insufferable," I took the desert plates from him and stalked out of the kitchen.

"Is everything ok," Victoria asked as the doorbell sounded.

"More than," I shot her a tight smile before heading to the door.

I swung the door open only to see the subject of my previous conversation. I flung my arms around him happily and pressed a hard kiss to his mouth.

"Hello to you too," he chuckled.

I smiled genuinely, "I haven't seen you in like five days."

"I know, trust me, I missed you too," he placed another softer kiss on my mouth, "I'm sorry I'm so late."

"Well I didn't know you were going to be here in the first place," I said, "so anything is better than nothing. You're just in time for desert. Come on in."

I helped him out of his jacket and placed it on the coat rack before walking into the dining area with him, "Look who turned up guys."

"Mike," Emmett cheered.

"Hey man," he clapped hands with him, "Hey guys, great to see you all."

"Good to see you too," Jasper said.

"I thought you couldn't make it," Edward asked.

Mike raised a brow at the odd tone in Edward's voice, "Change of plans."

I could only see things going downhill from here, "Hey Mike, how about we have desert outside," I asked, "If you all don't mind?"

"It's ok," Alice smiled, "Go spend some time with him."

I tugged Mike to the kitchen where the brownies were. We grabbed a couple before heading out to the back patio. Our conversation was small, but pleasant as we munched on our chocolate delights.

"Delicious," he complimented, "it's the best brownie I've ever had."

"You know you don't have to flatter me," I rolled my eyes, "If you want a kiss you can just take it."

"I'm serious," he chuckled, "But I will take you up on that offer."

He placed his brownie beside him and instead occupied his hands with holding my face. I closed my eyes and anticipated the feel of his lips. In a few seconds they were on mine, chocolaty and warm as they held on. I left my brownie on its plate and snuck my fingers along his toned stomach, underneath his shirt. I could feel the muscles quiver as I held onto his sides. I moved my lips from his mouth and down his neck. It was as I reached his collar bone that he stopped me.

"We-we're in the back of your house," he mumbled.

I ignored him and continued the nipping down his skin.

"Bella," his voice was strained, "Uh…"

"Relax," I pulled at his lips before moving myself to fit on his lap.

Mike returned his lips to mine, pressing pecks to my lips, then chin, then neck. I sighed unsteadily, "That feels good."

His hands rubbed at my sides, sneaking up and then crawling back down. My thoughts were being elaborately destroyed.

"I don't want anyone to catch us," he told me.

I sighed and stopped my attack on his face, "Ok. Ok, fine. Next time you're _mine._"

He laughed before gently placing me beside him, "Next time. But for now we can just talk."

"What do you want to talk about," I linked my fingers through his.

He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand, "I realized today that I know nothing of your past life."

My breath caught in my throat, "My past?"

"Yah, I mean, you know about my small town life before," he smiled, "but I've never heard anything about you pre-Hollywood."

I always used to get angry when I talked with people, and they stared everywhere else besides my face as if trying to find the meaning of life from the gum on the bottom of their shoe. But now as Mike was asking me about life in Forks I found myself staring at the thread on the hem of my shirt.

"Is your shirt trying to send you a message," Mike joked as he pulled my hand back from the hem, "Come on. Why are you avoiding it? Did you used to be an ogre something?"

"Nothing like that," I forced a small laugh, "no, I just don't like talking about it."

He sighed, "I feel like I know nothing about you."

"You know my favorite color don't you?"

He gave me a look, "You know what I mean."

"It's not that important," I avoided, "I mean you didn't know about it before, and we were perfectly fine."

"That's not the point," Mike said, "you're my girlfriend and I don't know where you spent most of your childhood."

"There are some things I don't want to think about it, ok." I said a little sharply as I pulled my hand from his.

"I don't even know where you were born or if you're half Spanish or Italian or something," he pressed, "I don't know your parents names or if you have aunts or uncles or cousins. It bothers me."

I wiped at my eyes quickly, "I really can't talk about it Mike. It's nothing to bad or anything I promise. Please don't force me to."

"Oh Bella," he sighed and pressed a kiss to my wet cheeks, "Gah, I feel like a jerk. I'm sorry, I just…I really, _really _care for you. Enough to creep you out."

I laughed through my tears and spoke the truth, "I really care for you too, Mike."

He sighed once more, "I should probably get going. It's late and I have another meeting in the morning. We're seeing if we're going to sign on this new book series about a vampire falling in love with a human. I can't even remember the name. Something like _cracking sun_ or something to do with the sky,"

I sniffled, "I won't keep you then."

"Are you ok," he asked, "I'm really sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry," I told him as we stood, "I'll um, wait for your call."

"What, no kiss goodbye?" Mike wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him gently, "Please stop crying, angel," he whispered against my lips.

"It's not you," I whispered back, "I promise I'll fix this. I'm getting better."

"There's nothing to fix," he brushed a stray hair behind my ear, "I'm not going to push you."

"Ok," I nodded. Mike pressed his lips to my more firmly before drawing back,

"Goodnight,"

"Night," I said as he rounded the corner and down the side of the house.

I waited until I heard his engine buzz down the street to tuck my head between my knees and let out a scream. Why was it that every time something was going well for me my past had to go and screw it up? I couldn't remember a moment when I had been truly happy for long enough to enjoy it. I was always worrying about Renee or grieving over Charlie's death or missing Jacob. Every day was constant drama and a gush of tears. Every time I had a semblance of joy or at least peace, some reminder would come and bite me in my ass and remind me that I wasn't full. It was so infuriating to know that this was how it would always be. I could almost picture the emotion of grief as an actual entity, looming over me and cackling as it made my life hell. I had come to terms with the fact that I would always miss my family, but I could never come to terms that I couldn't be even satisfied. Why was it that everyone could get over or at least _live _with their grief, but I was reduced to a sniveling idiot at my boyfriend asking about my parents names? And with a hint of what I'll call irony, I realized that right now I definitely wasn't happy.

_I am not happy; _the words rang through my ears.

But I am angry.

Unsure of what to do with myself I stood up and began pacing. The poor brownies I'd made suffered my wrath as I kicked them out of the way. I knocked over the pool chairs, and tables as I ranted. It seemed that being angry was almost too easy.

_I chucked my plate in the sink. The loud crash signaled that the plate had in fact shattered. Sickly satisfied with the sound I threw the cup in the sink as well. _

"_What the hell is wrong with you," Jacob stopped me from picking up a second glass. _

"_I-I just," I froze, the anger starting to flow away. _

"_You're not crazy," Jacob removed the glass from me, "So don't act like it." _

I stopped as a cool breeze blew over me. Almost as if he was there again stilling my hands, I released the planter in my hands and snapped back into reality at the sound of the large pot crashing at my feet.

"Bella!" Emmett slammed open the back door in his rush to get outside. Everyone else flowed outside behind him. I was happy to see that Victoria was not in the bunch.

"What happened," Rosalie appeared behind him a knife ready in her hand. She caught sight of the yard, "Would someone please explain to me why it looks like Michael Oher went on a rampage through the backyard?"

"Are you ok," Jasper came beside me, "Bella?"

I closed my eyes a focused on every feeling that was bubbling inside of me; frustration, anger, confusion, depression. The pressure that had been stored in so long was now finally making me a madwoman. As my chest rose up and down and my breaths continued in puffs, I realized one of my feelings was want, or rather a _need _to speak. I just never expected the words I would say next to be the ones I would say,

"I was born in Forks, Washington on September 13, 1987," I blurted.

Rosalie placed a hand on her hips, "Congratulations."

Jasper pushed her and gave her a glare, "Bella, are you sure you're ok?"

"I was born to Renee Higginbotham and Charlie Swan," I continued almost automatically, "Renee wasn't happy in Forks so she took me and we moved to Phoenix. I was six by the time she married Phil Dwyer who plays in the minor leagues. I was nine years old when Renee found the bump. It was the early in the morning, and she was sobbing, so I went to go and check on her. And I remember I saw it on her chest, a large, green and blue bruise. And I thought everything would be ok. That she'd just fallen and it would heal in a few weeks. She never told me about the cancer for three years. I'd be by friends' houses or Phil and I would have father daughter camping while she was doing chemotherapy. And I don't know how I missed all the signs. I think somehow I knew, but wanted to believe the lies she was feeding me. That she was trying out a new weight loss pill, or she liked her hair shorter, or she was just stressed from work, and that's why she could never go out with me.

I think she assumed it would stay in remission, and didn't want me to worry. But it didn't, and one month after I turned twelve I was told to expect her death. After I learned of the cancer I spent every moment I could with Renee. It also turns out that Charlie had come down to see her as well as care for me when she passed since Phil wasn't legally my father. I even stayed at his apartment a few times. On November 22,"

I paused as my throat threatened to constrict. I swallowed the feeling and rushed to continue, I wanted this out now and nothing was going to stop me,

"On November 22, Renee died," I stopped completely, and tipped my head up towards the night sky as if looking at the moon would stop the onset of tears. I let out a dark chuckle at the thought, _as if, _"Wow, this is really hard."

"No one is forcing you Bella," Alice said, "You can stop if you want."

I shook my insistently, "I need to do this."

She nodded and sat down along with the others. I didn't sit down with them. I had a feeling that if I did I wouldn't be able to refrain from curling into a ball.

"Yah so Renee died," I continued, "And I went to live with Charlie. You could imagine how awkward this situation could be. I mean I barely knew the man and I was now living with him. But despite that we managed to get really close in the short time I was there. I think it was the common grief we felt. I didn't know it, but Charlie still loved Renee more than I think Phil even loved her. And I could see the grief and stress was taking its toll on him. I came home,"

My mind blanked for a moment again, like my body was putting up defense against the grief and pain. I pressed the heel of my hands to my eyes. I forced the words out, "I came home on February 17th and he was dead in his chair," I said. It came out harsh and unfeeling. I hated it, but it was necessary if I ever wanted them to know, "It turns out that Charlie had some heart problems and coupled with his constant drinking, he went into cardiac arrest."

I heard a sob in front of me, but didn't need to open my eyes to know that it was Alice.

"And then there was Jacob," I couldn't stop myself from smiling at his name. Even through tears, the semblance of happiness that he'd brought me was brought into memory, "My sweet Jacob…he came to the rescue at Charlie's funeral and from there we became friends. And then we became more than friends, and dated for about three years. I thought I was in love with him, and I knew he was in love with me, and he was the only person who had made it seem like I didn't have to be in pain all the time. And he loved me, every broken piece, and tried to put me together again."

My nails dug into my palm, egging me on. _I have to say it, _"October 23rd I got the call that Jacob had died in a cliff diving accident. And t-that," I held in the cry, "That broke me."

Even though my eyes remained shut, the saline liquid still managed to make its way past my lids and down my already damp cheeks. Arms I didn't recognize wrapped around me and pulled me close to their body. I soon recognize the feel of the curves and knew that it was Rosalie who had pulled me in. Hands shaking, I placed them around her, and held on. If I thought this was enough to shock me, I was wrong. I realized that I wasn't sobbing. Only a few tears were running down my face, and I was still able to breathe. Four other pairs of arms wrapped around me, encasing me in their firm grip. For the first time, I felt just how much they loved me.

"Man," Jasper sniffled as we pulled apart, "We're a depressing bunch."

I let out a short laugh as I glanced around. I hadn't realized it, but everyone was crying.

Emmett coughed, "Psh, I'm not crying."

"Ugh, don't even try Emmett," Rosalie slapped him upside the head, "We both know that you eyes only get that red when you're crying or smoking weed. So which one was it?"

"Ok, I was crying," Emmett backtracked.

"Where's Victoria?" I asked. Secretly, I was glad that she had left before my little meltdown. I wouldn't be able to face her had she seen that.

"She left a while ago," Alice did nothing to hide the smile on her face, "What about Mike?"

"Meeting in the morning," I answered before sighing, "I'll go get a broom. I'm sorry about your planter Edward."

"Nah, it's fine, I tip the gardener extra tomorrow," his voice was a bit rougher than usual from the crying, "It was cracking anyways."

"Your toe is bleeding," Emmett told me. I looked down to see the bloodied and bruised big toe. That was attractive.

"I'm starting to think you hurt yourself on purpose," Jasper joked, "Because there's no way someone can hurt themselves this much."

I stuck out my tongue, "What can I say, it's a talent I have."

"Well save that talent," Rosalie said, "for the show tomorrow, or rather today seeing as it is 12am now. Em, let's head home. Thanks for dinner Bella. Night y'all,"

"Night you guys," I said, "Emmett your extras are on the counter."

"Love you Bella!" Emmett cheered, "So does Rosie!"

"Emmett shut up," Rosalie muttered as she tugged him out of the house.

"I think that's cue for us to head on out too," Jasper said.

"Aw, Jazz," Alice stomped her foot, "I want to stay with Bella."

"Um, hello," Edward said.

"Ugh, I've known you for almost 19 years I've had enough time with you," she waved him off.

"Ally, I have to sleep. Maybe you can plan something for us all to do together another day?" Jasper suggested, "I'll be out in the car, night Bella and Edward!"

"Fine," Alice pouted as Jasper walked away. She exchanged a hug with Edward and then me, "Goodnight Bella."

"_Hello?"_ Edward raised his hands in disbelief.

"Nineteen years," she sang as she skipped away.

And then it was us two alone.

"It's official," Edward sat on the patio step, "My family loves you more than they love me."

"Um, Edward-" I started.

"No I'm serious, no objections," he continued, "They absolutely adore you."

"Edward," I tried again.

"I'm scared to let you meet my parents. They'll just eat you up,"

"_Edward,_"

"What?" he looked up.

"You're sitting on a brownie," I laughed.

Edward got up and tried to look at his behind. I had no problem looking for him.

"Ugh," he groaned, "Really?"

"I tried to warn you," I told him.

"I know," Edward nodded.

"You should have listened to me," I added.

He squinted his eyes at me, and I couldn't help but smile at the replay of this scenario, "I know."

I grinned evilly, "You look like you crapped yourself."

"You love pushing it don't you?" Edward glared before peeling the brownie off of the back of his pants. Before I could duck, the brownie met the middle of my forehead with an audible smack.

"Did you just throw your ass-brownie at me?"

"Yes," Edward replied smugly, "I believe I did."

"You're going to pay." I picked up the brownie and ran after him.

He made his way around the chairs I'd dashed over as I chased him with smashed chocolate. It was as we rounded the pool that I got an idea.

Edward stopped a few feet away from its edge, hands in surrender as I stood in front of him.

"Alright," he laughed, "alright. I'm sorry."

"Edward," I smiled.

"What?" a look of worry crossed his face.

"Do you remember what happened the last time we did this?" I asked him.

"We almost kiss-"

"Oh gah, no not that," my face began to heat. I almost reconsidered this. But it was too priceless to pass up, "What else?"

"Well, you were chasing me. And then we went into the maze…and then," he realized, "Oh no."

"Oh yes," I grinned wickedly and ran forward.

My original plan had been to just push him in the water. But the second my hands connected to his chest, his hands wound around my arms and held me prisoner as we toppled over. Our bodies met the water with a clap, and I was soon submerged in the icy pool.

I gasped for breath as I emerged, my hair completely out of its bun, "Edward!"

I looked around only to be met with the dark pool water. Wasn't this supposed to have lights or something, "Edward?"

My heart began to race right as a hand locked around my ankle and dragged me under. I screamed as Edward tugged me. Once under the water I could hardly see around me. Finally, I saw a flash of pale skin.

Grabbing blindly, I fisted his shirt and yanked him up with me by the edge of the pool, "You ass! I just told you about my drowning best friend and you disappear under water?"

"Crap," he muttered, "I was just playing Bella, really, I'm sorry-"

As I took in his mortified expression and dripping wet hair I couldn't stop myself from busting out laughing. This was it. I had really gone crazy. From annoyed with Victoria, to pissed at Mike, to depressed, to pissed with myself, to depressed again with everyone else, and now hysteria? Was this some sort of joke my hormones were playing on me?

"It's ok," I laughed, "really."

"Um, Bella," Edward said.

"Mhmm," I murmured, trying to catch my breathing.

"You're still holding onto my shirt," he chuckled.

"Oh," I released the fabric and winced at the fact that I had popped out the buttons. I also couldn't stop looking at his creamy chest glimmering in the water. "Sorry about that."

"It's ok," he said. "Thanks."

"For ripping your shirt?" I quirked a brow.

"No," he rolled his eyes, "Thank you for opening up tonight, about your family and Jacob."

It took me a moment before I could say, "I needed to. It's time I really start moving on. For real this time,"

"We're all here for you," Edward pressed a wet kiss to my forehead. I pulled away afterwards to ensure nothing else would happen. The look in his eyes showed me that he understood, "We should probably get some rest, it's a big day tomorrow."

"Yah," I agreed as I heaved myself out of the pool and schlepped over to the pool house to grab a towel. After we'd toweled off we went inside and prepared to go separate ways; well, as separate as across the hall could be, "Goodnight Edward."

"Night Bells," he yawned, just as he shut the door. I remained standing there, watching his door like a stalker idiot, unable to move. And it wasn't so much the fact that Edward was behind it rather than the fact that I was just thinking. I smiled automatically as I turned around and headed for my shower. Today, like other days, was a definite surprise. I didn't completely kill Victoria, Mike and I had our first fight, and I had shared my entire (general) past with the Cullens. I shook my head to myself. Like I had said other days, but couldn't agree with more, the Cullens never ceased to amaze me.

...

"I forgot the words," I panicked to Emmett, "How does the song go again?"

He tapped my face gently, "Don't even joke, Bella. We're on in five minutes."

"I'm not joking," I gasped, "How does it start?"

"Bella," Jasper rolled his eyes, "Would you relax? You're going to be fine. You've done this before."

"Not in front of thousands of people," I gulped, "Hundreds, but not thousands."

"You want this," he reminded me, "and you're very talented. I mean what is there to be worried about?"

"Choking and making a complete fool out of myself on national television and being forever known as the girl who threw up in the middle of the Earth Day concert because of stage fright," I told him.

"Um, except that," Jasper tried.

"Nothing?" I guessed.

"Atta girl," he smiled and left.

"Great pep talker isn't he," Alice chuckled as she sat down next to me. She handed me room temperature water, "Sorry I couldn't get you a cold one. Don't want the voice cracking."

"Thanks," I gulped a few mouthfuls, "Where's Edward?"

"Talking to a babysitter," she rolled her eyes, "He can't leave that child alone for one second without knowing everything he's doing. It's really horrible."

"He just cares," I said. "Oh no, I hear clapping."

"That's you're cue to go stand at stage right," Alice prompted as she took away my water bottle, "good luck love."

I pressed a kiss to her cheek, "Thanks Ally."

"_Put your hands together for, Hour Glass Shot performing 'Do you Feel' by The Rocket Summer," _

"Edward," I tugged on his arm, "we're on."

"Bye Denny, love you," he said as he handed the phone to Alice.

"_Guys, give me the count," _Emmett spoke into the ear piece.

I glanced at Edward who gave me a nod. I suddenly felt something that was possibly the biggest inconvenience anyone could have when going on the stage. _No, no, no, no, no, _

"Edward,"

"Not now Bella we have to go,"

_God please, _

"Ok,"

I spoke into the bud, as he began to run out on stage, "_1, 2, 3," _

"_I'm thinking about other things, I heard about today," _Edward began, as the throng of girls screamed and reached up to the stage wanting to touch him. I couldn't blame them, _"All this week and tomorrow, _

_And how these hands can create some better things for bettering, but you see for now I got my own things," _

I ran out, glad that we had practiced this or else I would have been winded by the distance of the stage. I was surprised by the cheers I got. I mean how much did people even know about me to like me?

As Edward and I crossed each other we played into the interaction and held each other's gaze. For the moment I got lost, and it felt like I was back in the band room practicing with just the guys. But I had to snap back as we were going into the break.

_Can you feel the souls behind,  
__**What's going on?**_

Being on the stage was a temporary high that was unexplainable. It was almost as if the cheering and fans served as a drug. My adrenaline was rushing as we jumped and jigged and moved around. I couldn't call my movement dancing seeing as it was more running and touching fans hands, but that was what I'd been instructed to do by the stage coaches. It didn't matter, less thinking for me. And I was enjoying every second of it.

"Thank you L.A!" I said as the crowd cheered and we made our way off of the stage.

I ripped off the microphone as soon as I made my way off of the stage and ran around the corner to my destination. Once inside, I slammed the door, yanked down my pants and relieved myself. As I walked back into our group dressing room I received a collection of stares.

"Where did you go," Alice asked.

"I had to pee so badly," I sighed as I sat down.

Edward laughed, "Is that what you were trying to tell me this entire time?"

"That was horrible," I groaned, "I kept thinking about pissing myself. Alice, please never again give me water before we go on."

"Will do," she chuckled, "Now, get yourself freshened up because you have Earth day paraphernalia to sign."

There was a collective groan amongst the other band members,

"What's wrong with signing things," I yawned.

"Bella," Edward lazily rolled his head to face me, "Didn't you just see how many people were out there? We're going to be out there for hours."

My eyes widened, "Hours?"

"You're going to hate your name," Jasper chuckled.

"I hope this is all worth it," I muttered as my eyes began to close.

Edward smiled at me, "Eventually, it is."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	22. Chapter 22

You and Me: Chapter 22  
"_With nothing to do"_

"You want to do _what?" _

Max gave a sigh before taking a sip of water. I knew he had been trying these past few months to be calm, and I was happy to say that he'd succeeded. Besides this, he had shed a few pounds with my healthier cooking for him. I didn't know for sure, but someone had tipped me that he was going to anger management classes.

As well as Max's radical change in personality and new activities, the band had also been undergoing a bit of a transformation. Not only were we working on new songs for the upcoming album, but we'd also been doing a string of concerts, gaining more publicity and fans. I was now an official celebrity; a _wanted _celebrity. And with this new era, Max was even considering a name change for the band. He said that Hour Glass Shot was worn out and had no sophistication, and the rest of the band members agreed. But now the transformation was happening to _me. _And I didn't know how I felt about this.

"A makeover," Alice bounced excitedly in her cushioned seat.

"I don't see why this is necessary," I spluttered, "I look fine."

"We don't think you look bad per se," Max said. _Per se? _"It's just with the new band name and new song and new member…we want you to have a new image. It's like we're starting this all over again. Not covering over the past, just accentuating the new beginning."

Edward quirked a brow at Max while asking, "What kind of image?"

"We're thinking, spicy and sweet," Alice whispered as if it was some well kept secret. I guess it had been since I hadn't known anything about it, "We still want you to be the sweet Bella that Hollywood see's you as,"

"Yah she didn't get the title 'Hollywood's Sweetheart' for nothing," Emmet wiggled his brows at me.

"As I was saying," Alice glared, "We want you to be sweet, but we want you to be hot doing it. I mean you are _finally _eighteen."

"So you should look a little different," Rosalie informed me. She'd been in on the deal as well, having discussed it with Max and Alice.

"I've only been eighteen for a week –how different," I looked between the three of them.

"Just a change in hair, makeup, and clothes," Alice smiled.

"And shoes," Rosalie chuckled.

"No," I shook my head rapidly. "No way."

"Yes, Bella," she snickered, "You're going to have to wear heels."

...

"They're going to do what?" Mike chuckled as he licked at his ice cream. I watched the way his tongue lapped at the strawberry, and restrained myself. I knew that we were in a hot spot for paparazzi, and they'd be rolling over at the fact they'd gotten pictures of us.

"_Makeover," _the disgust was evident in my voice, "Like I'm on some Home Network."

"But I don't want you to be changed," he pouted. I laughed and linked my arm through his, "Do you know what they're going to do to you?"

"It involves heels," I groaned, "So I'll actually be close to your height."

"Well, if it lets you hold onto me a bit tighter," Mike kissed the side of my head, "Oh –your ice cream's dripping."

I spotted the trailing cream and immediately caught it. The second the ice cream was close to my face, Mike sent it smashing into my nose. I gasped at the cold item all over my face before laughing and sending it in his. We were in a fit of laughter as our lips blended. All I could taste was a mix of strawberry and mint.

"But pictures," I mumbled.

"Let them look," he pressed another tender kiss to my lips, "I love you Bella."

I looked up into Mike's face, his nose brushing against mine and his lips tasting like strawberry. I took in the twinkle of his eyes and the soft feel of his straight hair in my fingers. I smiled against his mouth and whispered back, "I love you too."

He laughed and lifted me up. I could feel the happiness radiate from within my stomach, and spread to my cheeks. This was what every day was supposed to feel like.

"Ugh," Mike groaned, as he picked up his vibrating phone. "I'll be there in a few."

I sighed as he got off of the phone, "You have to go don't you."

"Yah," he smiled apologetically, "but I will make it up to you."

"It's ok," I gave him a peck, "I have to go to get made up anyways. Maybe you'll love the new me even better?"

"I don't think that's possible," he chuckled as we walked back to our cars.

I was completely smitten as I parked into the driveway, and exited the car. I skipped up to the door and threw it open happily.

"What are you so happy for," Alice smiled.

"That's right, I'm _happy,_" I lifted her up; "Mike said he loves me."

I waited for Alice's excited squeal, but it never came.

"You're not dancing with me," I stopped and put a hand to her head, "Are you ok?"

"Oh yah," she said, suddenly a bit distant, "I'm so happy for you Bella."

"No you're not," my face twisted in confusion, "Why aren't you happy for me?"

"I am," she forced a smile, "Really, Bella."

"Bella," Emmett called as he raced in. He lifted and spun me, but the high wasn't there. I felt like a lost puppy, trailing to gain Alice's approval, "You ready for the team building activity?"

"Always," now I was the one forcing the smile.

I was dragged by the hand down to band room. We sat in the lounge area and conversed casually. This normally happened for a few minutes before Alice told us of our themes for the day.

"Ok, guys," Alice said. I could still see the odd emotion from our previous encounter, "Today we're going to share something none of us would know about each other. It can be weird, funny, deep, or gross, whatever you want it to be; starting with Rosalie."

Rosalie flicked her off before continuing, "I can't stand Styrofoam."

"Ugh," I shuddered, "Me too."

"I'm scared of iguanas," Alice offered.

"I can rap," Jasper shared.

"I get sick if I eat apricots," Edward told us.

"Because that's normal," I murmured.

"I snore," Emmett said, "Extremely loud."

They all looked at me, "Bella," Jasper said, "Your turn."

"I agreed with Rosalie on the Styrofoam."

"No leeching answers," Emmett wagged a finger in my face.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes. _Something they wouldn't know. _My face began to heat, "I'm scared of Oompaloompa's."

The expected round of laughter came. I covered my cheeks, "It's not funny."

"No, it's hilarious," Emmett guffawed, "What can you be scared about?"

"They have orange skin, white eyebrows and green hair. How are they _not _creepy?" I shuddered. "And that theme song…"

"Oompaloompa, oompidy doo, we've got another problem for you," Edward jeered.

I covered my ears, "La, la, la, I'm not listening."

"Ok," Alice finally let out a real laugh, "You guys need to do a practice."

"What are we working on today?"

"It Burns," Rosalie looked in her spiral planner, "That's one of the ones we have down for a music video. Max says he wants to work on the chemistry between Edward and Bella. Even a few reviews joke that their interaction is so cold because they're dating other people."

"Cold?" I scoffed , "What do they want, my tongue down his throat?"

Rosalie smirked, "Eventually."

"Whatever," Alice said, "Rose and I are going to sit in the booth and watch the practice."

We stepped into the band room and tuned up, getting our voices and instruments in check. I took a sip of water before removing my shoes, knowing that it could turn out to be a very long practice.

"We're ready," Emmett called.

I nodded, "Hit us with the intro Em."

_1, 2, 3, _

"_**It burns, it burns,  
**__**Your tips on my arm,  
**__**Your lips on my skin,  
**__**Breathing in,"**_

"_My hand in your hair,  
__I'm fire aware,  
__My lips on your skin,  
__Taking in,"_

"_**The way you touch, you touch, you touch me,  
**__**And I don't seem to be breathing,  
**__**But this fire, it is erupting,-"**_

"Cut," Alice's voice rang from the speakers, "Bella."

My brows furrowed automatically, "What's wrong? Was I off?"

"No your singing was perfect," she said, "but you look like you're singing to a door."

I raised a brow, "How so?"

"This is the coldness they were talking about. We want _chemistry_. You're singing about him touching you. Not about eating grilled cheese sandwich. Try it again."

I nodded as Emmett brought the song to life again.

"Cut," Rosalie said this time, "It's Edward too."

"You all would make terrible actors," Alice muttered, "We're trying to sell this. Sex sells. Circling around each other doesn't. You look like damn lionesses."

I sighed, "Ok then give me some pointers instead of calling me a cat."

"This song is about jumping bones," Alice said.

"Edward, you wrote it –at least act it out properly," Rosalie scoffed.

"Get in his face a little, touch him a bit, do _something,_" Alice put in.

I nodded, "Ok…take three."

"_**It burns, it burns," **_

"Cut," Alice interrupted, "I can already see where this is going."

"I haven't even started the song," I threw up my hands, "I only said four words."

"Four, boring words," Rosalie said, "You two are not working with us."

"Yah we'll you're not helping me either," I growled, "You told me to touch him or get in his face, I'm sorry if I wasn't able to grab his balls in the two seconds that you allowed me to sing."

"You didn't give us a chance," Edward agreed.

"When you listen to your iPods and hear _Sex on Fire, _you can't see them but you can hear the appeal," Alice said, "We should be able to hear the attraction in your voice. I didn't hear it, so I stopped it."

"Music-Nazi," Emmett coughed.

"Don't get me started on you honey," Rosalie glared through the glass, "We don't need half ass work. We need everything you got. And so far, you've got nothing."

"I think," Jasper cut in, sensing the building tension, "We should take a break, and then work on a different, lighter song."

"I agree," I murmured.

"Take ten," Rosalie said, "Then we'll work on 'Brighter Things.' Is that light enough?"

"Well aren't you punny," Jasper rolled his eyes.

While the others left to go to the bathroom, or in Rosalie's case drink some coffee, I retreated to the couch, and placed my forehead to my knees. I knew that criticism was a part of the deal, but it really took a crack at your self-confidence. They didn't mean it personally, yet I still managed to feel inadequate…as well as romantically challenged. I mean, Mike always called me cute or pretty or beautiful (which I didn't mind) but never _sexy. _Even when I kissed or tried to get physical with him my intent was never to come across as a seductress. It was more playful…like a child. I shuddered. I wondered how he could stand being around my immaturity sometimes. Then again he had pushed the ice cream in my face. But I still blush if the word 'penis' is said or anything relating to sex. It was a stupid notion, but I'd thought that with my turning 18 I would appear older. But I still looked the same. I looked like cute Bella.

No wonder Edward went for Victoria! I was a little girl compared to her. Granted I had a much larger chest than her (due to her _slender _form) but I also had bigger cheeks. Baby cheeks…

"Why are you pinching your cheeks," Edward asked as he sat down beside me.

"Uh, no reason," I fibbed, "Sorry about ruining practice."

"You heard them, it was me too," he shrugged, "don't flatter yourself."

I chuckled, "A cat."

"Yah, they pulled everything out this time," Edward rolled his eyes, "Although they have called me a bitch before."

My mouth popped open, "Rosalie?"

He shook his head, "Alice. She can be very opinionated sometimes; doesn't mind telling everyone about her thoughts too. It comes with the whole no boundary thing."

"At least you find out the truth," I said, "What are we going to do? I don't know how to be _sexy." _

"Well, I'm just as lost," Edward said, "I haven't had a lead singer with me in a while."

"It's your fault for writing the darn song," I huffed, "Now I have to go Google how to flirt."

"Fine, next time you write the song," he replied.

I chuckled, "That's a funny one."

"As long as you're laughing," Edward winked, "You looked pretty miserable. I thought I'd come over and cheer you up."

"It worked," I smiled back, "Thanks."

"Any time," he nodded as Jasper entered the room.

"Hey Jasper," I called out, "You didn't think that I was going to let go about your rapping, did you?"

He groaned, "What do you want me to do?"

We allowed Edward to fool around on the piano a bit before Emmett and the girls returned with their Starbucks. They set down ours in the booth, and eyed us.

"What are you doing," Alice asked.

"I want to hear Jasper rap," I replied, "Do you mind?"

"Nope," I was surprised by the smile that she held as she leaned back, "Now you can hear what sex sounds like."

"Are we ready," Edward asked.

"Go ahead," Jasper said.

The beginning of the song rung out on the baby grand, a few flourishes having been added by Edward. I smiled as I thought of the song. It had been such a hit the producers had definitely known what they were doing when making the song. And although I had wanted to be free of its charm I couldn't. The thought of it was catchy, and I found myself singing it often. Especially it's remix.

"_**Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?  
**__**I could really use a wish right now…"**_

This was a moment where I knew that Alice knew that she was right. Because as Jasper rapped, everything about his movements and voice screamed seductiveness. The fluidity of his words, and the way his fingers caressed the microphone had me staring in a way that made my cheeks flush.

"_**And it seems like yesterday, it was just a dream," **_I sang, _"__**But those days are gone**__." _

I remained silent as the song continued, and eventually since I was missing my part Edward stopped playing. I looked in awe at Jasper who had just mastered Eminem's part and delivered it in a way that had me hot all over.

"He's married," Alice sang over the intercom, "To me."

I laughed, "Wow Jasper."

"I told you," he shrugged, "I can rap."

...

"It's a _what?" _

Why did it seem like most of my sentences ended in that word? But it seemed like every time I encountered Alice I was always left with questions, or at least disbelief.

"It's a sex-off," she grinned evilly, "You're going against Edward."

"To see who can be the sexiest?" I asked.

"See, you are smarter than you look," Alice chuckled. I would have glared but seeing as she was the one cutting my hair I didn't want to move.

"I don't even know how to be sexy," I squawked, "Seeing Jasper just made me feel even more like a nun."

I expected wise words from Alice but all I was met with was silence as she trimmed hair. My long brown locks had gone from waist length to chest length, and now I was really curious as to what I would look like after the transformation. It had taken her a few days after that catastrophic practice, but she seemed to have come up with an image she liked.

"Bella," Alice began, "have you ever had an orgasm?"

I choked on the air I'd been taking in, "Am I really meant to answer that?"

"It's me not Emmett you're talking to," she prodded.

"Well, um," I stuttered, "Yah."

"It was by a guy right? Not yourself," she clarified.

"Alice," I said.

"Just tell me," Alice sighed.

"Y-yah, Jacob," I mumbled.

"And when you had it, you didn't feel _ugly _did you," she said, "You felt sexy as hell."

"Well, yah," I answered.

"That's all you have to embrace," Alice tutored, "Embrace the orgasmic confidence, but at the same time casualness. Think it. You are sexy, you are fierce, you are confident. Why do you think Rosalie comes off as so appealing? It's the intimidation and confidence. It adds an edge."

"So I'm supposed to act like Rosalie?" I asked.

"No, everyone needs to put their own touch to sexy," she said, "Jasper's touch is his smoothness."

"What is mine supposed to be," I asked, "Wittiness?"

"More like smart ass sometimes," Alice muttered, "But sure."

"I just pick a song, and perform it all sexed up?"

"Exactly," she chirped. "Now sit still so I can put the dye in your hair."

"Dye," I squeaked.

"Yep,"

"What color?"

"You'll find out," she snickered.

"No blonde," I said firmly, "I'm serious."

"Ok, Bella," I could hear the smile in her tone, "No blonde."

...

"_Red_," I screamed after she pulled off the blindfold, "You dyed my hair red!"

"Eh, Auburn," Alice chewed at her long, delicate nails. Hers were painted a bold black, while mine were painted white.

"Auburn," I yelled, "I'll tell you who I'm going to burn-"

"What the hell is going on," Rosalie stepped into the room, "Whoa."

I lunged at Alice, failing as soon as Rosalie hooked an arm around my waist.

"It looks good, stop bitching," she rolled her eyes.

"Rosalie you of all people shouldn't be telling me about bitching," I squawked, "I look like Victoria. Oh no…I'm going to start being socially awkward, and make grass seem exciting, and put dressing in other peoples salads!"

Rosalie chuckled, "Bella, it looks hot. Would you take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror? Besides, Victoria's hair is not this tone of red. Yours is still partly brown. You look _hot _Bella."

"I look," I turned around to face the mirror and studied the changes. The major one was my hair and how short it looked. The brown straight locks were now wavy "auburn" tendrils framing my face and at shoulder length. My make up was less subtle in the way that my colors were vibrant pinks and reds. Pink donned my eyes and lips as did red on my cheeks. "Eighteen."

"No Bella," Alice joined me in the mirror, "You look twenty."

"I think I can do this," I smiled at Alice, "I think I can totally beat Edward."

"Well you have to," Rosalie said, "We bet money on you."

My mouth popped open, "Who did Emmett and Jasper bet on?"

"Edward," Alice snorted, "I'm surprised they bet against me, I'm normally right."

"You're going to be right," I looked at myself in the mirror, a new wave of self confidence arising, "Edward, eat your heart out."

**Edward's Point of View **

The coldness of the leather cooled my cheek and skin through the thin shirt I was wearing. I had this in the bag. I knew exactly what to do to play up the sex, and have Bella squirming in her seat with that priceless blush. The song itself wasn't exactly an 'in the mood' song, but if I performed it the right way I'd have the desired effect. Plus, if Bella couldn't talk about sex without blushing or stuttering, how the hell was she going to sing it?

I nearly snorted at the thought of the red hue spanning across her cheeks under her spackle of freckles. Picturing Bella in my head was almost too easy for me. Easier than picturing Victoria at least; Vicky was always wearing an unpredictable outfit of hot pink or a sleek black. I guess that had to do with her high fashion career. Bella on the other hand was most likely found in jeans and a tee, and her hair in its signature knotted bun.

"Hey man, do you think Alice got Bella to wear the boots," Emmett asked.

"I doubt," I answered, "You know how Bella is with clothes."

"I wouldn't underestimate the girls," Jasper walked into the room, tossing me a water bottle, "Alice never fails."

"But this is Bella we're talking about," I reminded him, "Stubborn Bella; the Bella that puts Alice in her place on a daily basis."

"All I'm saying is that I don't like the sound of this 'transformation'_,_" Jasper sipped from his bottle, "I'm starting to think I should change my bet."

"Oh come on," I threw my cap at him; "I look sexy. Even Emmett said so,"

Emmett rolled his eyes, "Sure. The whole button up white top and tight black jeans is hot. The tie and glasses is the real turn on though."

"Oh stop it, any more flattery and I might have to kiss you," I winked at Emmett before taking a large swig of my water.

I love God and all, but why did He have to put your liquid pipe so close to the one you use for breathing? Because in times of surprise, much like this one, your drink ends up getting lost and decides to head for the wrong tubes. And when this happens you're basically screwed. I was the perfect demonstration of this when Bella stepped into the band room.

I was spluttering and choking like a right fool when her toned, creamy legs appeared in knee high boots. I was red in the face when I took in her dark denim skirt and skillfully ripped, black tee. And I was definitely face over ass when I saw her dark red, cropped and gelled hair complimenting the red lipstick donning her smirk curled lips.

"Edward," I watched the way her lips formed my name. Though I do think I heard it a little more explicitly than it was said. "Edward."

I tore my eyes from her lips to where they were supposed to be, "Mhm."

She leaned forward and used one, white painted nail to brush against my lip, "You had a bit of water on your lip."

"Alice," Jasper suddenly said, "About that bet."

Emmett groaned, "Hold in there Eddie. I need my fifty."

"Nice boots," Did I just stutter? I guess it was understandable since I could see a peek of what I thought was Bella's bra through her shirt.

"I don't know why you wanted me to wear them," she shrugged, "but anyways. I'm curious as to how this is going to go. So let's get a move on. Edward, you're first."

I cleared my throat, "First for what?"

She chuckled, "Maybe if you weren't looking at my chest you'd remember." She tipped my face up, "Really, let's go."

"Right," I shook my head before swallowing.

Alice, Rosalie, and Bella took a seat on the couch for the performance, all of their legs crossed over in the same direction as if it had been planned. But I knew they hadn't, girls just did that kind of freaky shit.

"Edward," Emmett called, "Get your mind out of Bella's pants and let's go."

I nodded again, shutting my eyes to try and gain concentration. Sure, Bella looked...good but I was going to win this. Who was I kidding? She didn't look good, she looked sexy as hell. And I didn't mind if I got burned.

The bass line of the song brought me out of my distracted reverie and into the first measure of The Jets hit. I flipped down my glasses as I moved my body in the way I had rehearsed. If Bella wanted a sex-off, I was going to give her one.

I snuck a peek at her to see her reaction to the song choice. Her eyebrows were raised in the normal questioning quirk, but here eyes were wide and trained on my movements.

"_So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me  
because you look so fine  
and I really wanna make you mine.  
_

The way her eyes followed me I couldn't help but unhook the mic from its holster and use the extended lead to trail up to her. Her brown pools were lit with amusement, especially when I altered the next line. _  
_  
_"Big black boots,  
short red hair,  
she's so sweet  
with her get back stare_.

Even under the makeup I could see the slow building of a blush. I took great satisfaction out of it, and a little relief at the fact that this had not changed about her. As much as I made fun of it, I loved Bella's blush. Though as I fed off of her attention, I was starting to wonder what else I really loved about Bella. But it was the 'how much' that was starting to scare me.

_I know we, ain't got much to say,  
Are you gonna be my girl?_

The song finished with the clash of the cymbal and strum of the electric, but my breaths continued racing on and on. I'd thought that this sex-off was a brilliant idea on Alice's behalf, but as Bella went up to take the mic I knew we were venturing into dangerous territory.

The second the prerecorded stroke of the violin played I knew I was going to contest Elmer's strength by the way my eyes glued to Bella's form. Eyes closed and her hips swaying I was starting to realize how much body language played into performance. As she began the opening hushed words, Bella's lips hovered close to the microphone, her lips almost kissing the foam covering like- like she was teasing it. Or rather, teasing me.

_**I feel so untouched…And I want you so much  
That I just can't resist you  
It's not enough to say that I miss you  
**_

Bella held my gaze almost as if she was challenging me to question her confidence. And I couldn't because it was emanating off of her in a way that held me in my place. I realized how ironic (or was it punny) this song was. Right now, no matter how much I could want to, Bella was untouchable.__

Been going crazy from the moment I met you

As Bella's lips stroked the microphone at the last words of the song, I found myself in a position that I never wanted to find myself in. Yes folks; the air had gone down my water pipe and the water went down my air pipe and my face was hot and my ass was basically best friends with my face and I couldn't breathe, but was suffocating on too much air at the same time, and everything, and I mean _everything _had changed. Because before today, I'd been Edward, but now, I was just screwed._**  
**_

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	23. Chapter 23

You and Me: Chapter 23  
_"Nothing to prove"_

The fumes around the room were starting to get to me. The once still walls were now spinning, and all the colors around me seemed to blend into one ugly smear. Painting was turning out to be harder than I thought it would be.

"What are you doing," Edward came into my room. His tone was slightly clipped. Auden was trailing behind him, his eyes immediately going to some bubble wrap that had been set down. He ran over to it and sat down, occupying himself with the small snapping pockets of air.

I met Edward's eyes stationed above my lying form, "I painting my toe nails."

He glared, "You're going to paint your walls?"

"I think you know the answer to that already," I rolled my eyes and sat up, "What's up?"

I heard him mumble something along the lines of, "I like white."

"What did you say," I asked.

"I like the walls to be white," he said firmer this time.

"Is my painting going to be a problem for you," I rose a brow.

Edward remained silent, almost as if he was thinking extremely hard about something. I waited for him to answer me, but it was turning out to be a long wait. I think I knew my answer.

"I was under the impression that this was my room to do whatever I pleased with," I said.

"It is your room," Edward agreed.

"But it's your house," I crossed my arms, "Right?"

"No Bella," he sighed, "Not that."

"Then what," I asked, truly curious as to what his problem was, "Why is your face like that? You're acting like I'm changing the entire house. Oh,"

The gears began to churn, "Is this…was this Tanya's room?" I snuck a peek at Auden to see if he had heard the mention of his mother's name, but he sat unfazed and unaware, intrigued with the wrap.

Edward nodded slowly, "She always liked things to be _clean,_" he murmured, "white is clean."

I watched as Edward's eyes surveyed the still blank room, waging an internal wore. I could see the side of him that wanted to let go, but I could also see the part of him that desperately wanted to stay away from change. The whiteness was something that Tanya had instilled, something that he'd become used to with her. And as much as I didn't want him to forget her, I wanted him to see that it was alright to cover some things. It was okay to paint over some aspects of your life.

"But," I said, catching an idea. I dipped my finger into the cool, thick liquid of light yellow paint, "Yellow is happy."

A small smile graced his face as he watched the paint dance from the tip of my finger down my forearm before using one of his to counter the traveling drop. I repeated the action, but this time with my middle finger, coating it in the light blue.

"Blue is sadness," Edward guessed.

I shook my head, "Oh naïve one," I chuckled, "Blue is laughter."

"Why would you associate blue with laughter," he asked.

"Why do we associate blue with sadness," I countered.

"Touché," Edward actually released a laugh. My shoulders dropped as the tension unwound. Edward bent down, and swirled his finger in a can of blood red paint. It was cool and had a powdery sensation as Edward drew on my cheek, "I'm curious as to what you think red is."

"That's pretty obvious," I snickered as I smeared some paint on his rough cheek, "Red is passion."

"I'm surprised you didn't tell me red was hatred," Edward said.

"It could be anger," I smiled evilly as I sunk my hand into the red paste. I could hear Auden's cheer at my hand in the paint,

"Fing painting!" he laughed.

"What are you doing," his eyes grew wide.

In one movement I sent the glop of paint hurling towards Edward; the original cup of red spread in the air, slicing across his shirt in a bloody stripe. Within seconds Edward retaliated by slashing me with the light blue paint. It did as it promised, and brought a gurgle of laughter from my and Auden's lips. Auden joined in on the fun, throwing slops and globs of paint at us and rubbing the messy liquid all over him and us.

A few minutes later we sat, our breaths short from the activity of chasing each other around. Yellow paint dripped from Auden's hair and down his cheek, which Edward wiped away in a loving gesture. I looked around at the marred walls and took in a sharp breath.

"My room," I gasped.

"Perty colors," Auden smiled, "Right Bells?"

"I'm sorry," Edward said, "We can always repaint if you want-"

"No, no," I laughed as I took in the drops and splashes or uncoordinated colors, "It's perfect."

"Not quite," he smiled as he dipped his hand into the almost empty yellow paint.

"Edward please, I can't take anymore color in my hair," I groaned.

"More painting daddy?" Auden asked.

"Wait for it," he crawled over to the door and reached the wet hand up. In a slow motion he pressed his hand to the white space right beneath the light switch. "Now it's perfect."

"Not quite," I smiled as I repeated his words. I sunk my caked hand into the paint can. Carefully, I pressed a smaller hand print to his, the prints of our thumbs touching. "There."

"My turn," Auden sunk his and pressed the dripping hand to the wall. "Perfect Bells?"

"Yah peanut," I pressed a kiss to his painted blue cheek.

"Passion, laughter and happiness," Edward's grin was as bright as the hand print staring back at me.

...

"Bella," Alice squeaked.

"Yah," I mumbled as I rolled over. The charity event that had ended at three am this morning had me exhausted. _It was for a good cause, _I reminded myself.

"What happened to your room," she asked.

I snapped my eyes open knowing that I wanted to see Alice's expression. Despite my lazy state, I couldn't keep the grin off of my face, "What do you mean?"

Her eyes were wide as she took in disarray of paint. After it had finally dried I was able to get my things back in the room with a little help from the security guards. I made a mental note to make them something extra special for breakfast tomorrow morning.

"I'm going to close my eyes and when I open them, this will have turned out to be a _very _bad dream," Alice shut her eyes and clicked her heels three times.

"I think you're in the wrong story," I chuckled, "Shouldn't you be fighting the Queen of Hearts right about now?"

"Like I haven't heard that one," she trailed to where the light switch was. I could see her expression change noticeably as she stroked a finger over the yellow hand print, "You make him happy."

"What," I sat up fully now, "who?"

She turned from the wall, "Edward of course."

I ran a hand through my hair, "This is why you weren't happy for me. Alice, you can't keep holding onto the crazy notion that Edward and I are going to end up with each other. It's not going to happen."

She glared, "Why not?"

"Edward doesn't like me," I barked, but soon bridled my tongue, "…and I don't, I don't like Edward like that. I love Mike."

"You can love more than one person," Alice challenged, "I don't doubt your feelings for Mike. But I also don't doubt your feelings for Edward. You don't see it. The way you act around each other when you're acting naturalit's like you've known each other for your entire lives."

"So let's say I did like Edward," I theorized, "Edward still doesn't like me."

"Edward is scared," she replied, "he guards his heart to make sure he, and Auden, don't get hurt again."

"I would _never _hurt Edward," I said with conviction, "and he knows that."

"I can't explain it Bella," Alice said, "even I can't put my finger on it just yet. But if you'd give him a chance."

"No," I said, "you mean give you a chance. What do you want me to do, put Mike on hold so I can see if Edward works? He turned me down two times Alice, and now I'm happy without him and you can't let go of your stupid predictions. Let go Alice, because I certainly have. Edward's right, sometimes you really don't have any boundaries."

Alice snatched her purse from off the armoire and headed for the door, "By the way," she snarled, "I don't have boundaries because I'm the only damn person in this house who doesn't hide behind their feelings. Just because I don't cry or lock myself in a room doesn't mean that I didn't lose anyone. I just push it aside to make sure you two oblivious fools don't destroy each other. But I'm through with this. Have fun on your side of the border Bella."

I sighed as I flopped back on the bed. Alice's slam of the door rang in my ears as I went over what she had said. The only reason I'd acted so defensively was because deep down it was true. I didn't doubt my feelings for Mike, but I was trying harder than anything to dampen my feelings for Edward. And sure, physical attraction played a deep part in this, but the hand prints on the wall were proof that there was something else much deeper. I was Edward's laughter and he was my happiness. So why was it that we couldn't be together? Or rather why was it that he couldn't see himself with me.

My phone buzzed, reminding me to stop thinking about 'what if's' and 'what could have been' and to start thinking about what was. What was happening was that I had a double date with Edward and Victoria, and according to Mike I had 15 minutes to get ready.

Without Alice's help I was worthless in the fashion department and I realized this a moment too late. I pulled out dark skinny jeans and a simple, silk, green top to accompany it. My makeup was also simple, only include neutral browns and greens in a way Alice had said was 'smokey eyes' or 'burnt eyes' or something like that. _Alice, Alice, Alice, _this was going to be a long night.

The door bell sounded right as I applied my lip gloss. I pulled my purse from where I had kicked it under the bed last night, and opened the door to run out. Suddenly I saw stars in my left eye.

"Holy –Bella I'm so sorry," Edward gushed.

"Ow," I groaned, "Why did you punch me in the eye?"

"I didn't, I wasn't, I was trying to knock," he said as he walked me to the bathroom, "Sit down on the toilet seat."

I could feel the stream of tears from my left eye trail down my cheek as my eye ball throbbed, "Between the time of me opening the door and coming out you couldn't put down your hand?"

"I am so sorry," he said as his warm finger wiped at my tears and coaxed at my eye, "let me see."

I slowly opened my eye, "I don't think there's any major damage done. But, _ow._"

"I really didn't mean it," he bent down and peered into my eye. Using a wash cloth he wiped at the sides before setting it down and inspecting. I realized how deliciously close Edward's face was to mine, and stole a whiff of his cologne.

"Are you smelling me," he chuckled.

"You smell different," I wrinkled my nose.

"Yah, Vicky bought me new cologne, some designer stuff," he said. "You don't like it?"

"I didn't say that," I mumbled.

Edward laughed, "You didn't have to. Well you look different."

"That was Alice's doing," I sighed.

"You look beautiful," Edward told me.

I could feel the blush viciously attack my face like a monstrous disease, "Thank-"

"Bella," Mike stepped around the corner.

I didn't know why Edward and I pulled back from each other so fast as if we had been doing something. As a matter of fact we'd been doing negative something…if that made sense. But with the way Mike was looking at me I felt as if I was a cheating wife.

"Hey, sweetie," I got up from off of the toilet and maneuvered myself around Edward so I could press a chaste kiss to Mike's lips.

"Did something happen to your eye," he thumbed the slightly bruising area around my eye.

"I fell," I waved him off. I don't know why I had lied for Edward, or rather why I had lied for him so easily, but it was already done. Plus it seemed like such a small petty detail.

"Aw baby," he pressed a kiss to it, "I might have to bubble wrap you."

I laughed, "That'd be no fun. How could you kiss me?"

"Are we ready," Edward broke in, "I'm pretty sure Victoria's outside."

"Yah," Mike cleared his throat, "Come on, Bella."

I followed the two men out of the door not knowing what had just transpired. I was starting to think that tonight was going to be worse than I'd originally thought even though I didn't think that was possible. It's like when you try to fold a piece of paper down to the smallest it can fold, and even though you know it can't fold anymore you still push. That's what we were trying to do now by going on this date (suggested by Mike). We were pushing the paper, and our hands were getting sore and no one wanted to admit that it just couldn't bend anymore. We were pushing this friendship between the four of us, and I was tired of my hands chafing against the unrelenting paper. But just to pacify Mike, I agreed to go out.

"I don't understand why you don't like her so much," Mike said, "Victoria is really charming. She holds a lot of class and maturity and intelligence. You can't hold her putting dressing in your salad against her."

"Mike, even you know she's boring," I gave him a look.

"You hardly know her," he tried.

"I've known her for six months," I countered, "and she hasn't gotten any more interesting. No, correction, she hasn't gotten interesting. Period."

"You can't really get to know someone in six months," he said.

"You're forgetting that we've known each other for six months," I wrapped my fingers through his ones laying lazily on the gear shift, "and I love you."

Mike turned to smile at me, "I love you too."

I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his neck, the only place I could really reach in this restrained position.

He cleared his throat, "Bella,"

"Yah," I answered.

"You don't," he started, "There's nothing going on between you and Edward is there?"

The question caused me to freeze, "What?"

"You and Edward," Mike repeated, "There's nothing going on there is there? Or has there been?"

"Mike, I just said I love _you_," I scoffed.

"That's not what I'm asking," he said.

"Do you want me to be honest," I asked.

"That would be nice,"

I took a deep breath, "I used to like Edward, a lot. And when you and I started dating I still held a bit of a flame for him."

"And now," Mike's voice was noticeably changed, not with anger but with a hint of…sadness?

"Edward and I are best friends," I told him.

"Do you still have feelings for him Bella," he pressed.

"No, Mike," I answered a little sharply, "I don't have feelings for Edward, and I didn't know you had a problem with our friendship."

"I don't," he sighed, "I don't have a problem with your friendship."

"Then what is your problem," my mood having changed my voice had taken on a new tone.

"Please," Mike said softly, "I don't want to fight with you."

I relaxed in my seat, only realizing now how tense and frazzled I was. I took a deep breath, "I don't understand why this is coming about."

Mike took a deep breath, much larger than the one I had taken, "I guess you never heard of me and Danielle Piazza."

"Ex-girlfriend," I remembered, "the actress."

"And as cliché as it sounds, my first everything," Mike informed me, "first heart break."

"Oh," I swallowed, "What happened?"

"She cheated on me," he shook his head as if he still couldn't believe it, "and I know she still loved me…she just loved him more. And I remember how much that hurt, and I don't ever want to feel it again. So even if it hurts, I'll do what I need to protect myself before it's too late."

"I would never cheat on you," I whispered.

"I know," he said, "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry for my tone," I returned my hands to his, "You can ask me anything."

"It's just because I care," he continued.

"I know," I leaned my head against his shoulder as he pulled up to the parking lot.

Our moods were leveled as we walked into the restaurant with Edward and Victoria. I peered at the stunning red dress she was wearing, and lethal red pumps. Afterwards I looked down at my slightly wrinkled top, and jeans. I didn't even reach Mike's chin in these flats.

"You look gorgeous tonight, as always," I grudged.

"Thanks, Bella, you too," she smiled. Although I noticed that I only got compliments on my appearance once I had complimented her. This was worse than not receiving a compliment at all.

We were seated at our table in a booth, Mike, then me, then Edward and finally Victoria. Our glasses were filled with wine and then one with water before we were left alone to conversation.

"So Victoria," I said, "What are some of your hobbies?"

_Making grass grow, _

"Oh, I love volunteering at the animal shelter," she said, "or anything involving animals."

"Really," I nodded, "what's your favorite?"

"I'm definitely a cat person," Victoria replied, "But I know Eddie's a dog person. I'm so proud of how he handles mine."

"I didn't know you handled cat's well," I smirked at Edward over the rim of my wine glass. The sweet, thick taste of the wine slid down my throat smoothly.

"Maybe you shouldn't be drinking," he plucked the glass from my fingers and added the amount to his wine glass.

I stole the glass from grasp, "You're not twenty one either. Technically Mike and Victoria are the only ones able to drink at this table."

Mike chuckled, "I think we're all mature enough to drink responsibly."

"Edward please," Victoria whispered, "don't play with the wine."

I placed down the wine as Edward cleared his throat. The mental piece of paper in my mind folded once more.

"Mike how is that movie deal going," Victoria asked, "last time I heard they were thinking about alternating directors for this saga you're doing."

"It depends on how the first goes," Mike answered, "Hopefully they'll keep me. The author is really a character, brilliant with her words."

And the conversation continued on like this for the next few minutes. The appetizers came and went, and soon our main courses arrived. My chicken was delicious, succulent and filled my mouth with a chorus of spices. I peeked at Edward and laughed at the strained expression on his face as Victoria plucked a scallop from off of his plate. I didn't care when Mike and I exchanged portions of our plates, but I knew how Edward felt about sharing food. Why do you think I took food from him secretly? I took slight pride in the fact that I knew something about Edward that Victoria didn't…and the fact that there was _something _about Victoria that annoyed Edward.

"Do you want to try a piece of my chicken," Mike asked, "It's spectacular."

I nodded as Mike forked a strip of the chicken and popped it into my mouth. The spiciness scratched my tongue crawling to the back of my mouth along with the flavors.

"This is delicious," I agreed before swallowing, "I wonder what they season it with. If this wasn't a formal setting I'd ask for the recipe."

"What got you started in cooking," Victoria asked me.

I cleared my throat, the spiciness of the chicken still tickling me, "It runs in my family."

"Really," she smiled, "Mother or fathers side?"

I swallowed twice as Mike squeezed my leg from under the table. I'd already told him, very briefly, about my past and so he knew that it was difficult for me. Edward gave me a side glance, "My mothers."

_Another fold,_

"Right, I remember that Edward told me about the restaurant," she nodded, "And your mother owns it?"

_Fold, _

"Well, she _owned_ it," I replied.

"Oh, she," Victoria stopped, "Bella, I'm so sorry." There was that damn sympathetic look again.

I coughed into my napkin, my throat feeling like it was closing. _You're not going to cry Bella. _

"Thanks," I said.

"When did she pass?" she asked.

"I um, don't like to talk about it," I swallowed again.

"Right," she mentally kicked herself, "when my mother passed I didn't want to talk about it either, but you know, talking about it really helps sometimes."

_But it doesn't help when you do it at the dinner table- _

I coughed into my napkin again, the sound loud and slightly wheezing.

"Oh honey, you're choking up," she pulled a handkerchief out of her purse and handed it to me, "poor thing."

No, I was not choking up. Well not in the way she thought I was because I didn't feel the need to cry. What I was feeling was a prickling in the back of my throat, and suddenly nauseous.

"Are you ok," Edward asked, "you're starting to look a bit peachy."

I think his words came out a little bit slower than they probably did.

"Yah, I'm fine," I choked out. I took a sip of wine, and almost coughed it out. Mike patted me on the back.

I cleared my throat again, suddenly aware of how my pulse had increased.

"Bella?"

I wasn't completely sure of who had spoken, but I was sure of another thing. I open my mouth and all that came out was a squeak,

"Peanuts," I coughed.

"What," Mike said.

"Your chicken had peanuts?" Edward asked as he pulled out his cell phone.

"Well yah," Mike answered.

"You idiot," Edward growled.

The room began to turn a bit, dancing and shaking like a simulator for earthquakes.

"Bella, do you have an Epipen?" Edward asked as he dialed 911.

I wanted to answer, I really did. But my throat was swelling slowly, and Victoria was starting to appear as a clown with distorted figures and colors.

_Oh my God, I'm going to die,_

I gasped for air, dizzy and disoriented. I pushed my plate forward so my head could land safely on the table.

"Bella," a hand shook my knee, "Bella please, stay awake."

"Edward, Mike," I coughed. I even called for _Victoria _to help, "I-I'm, I-"

"Relax," one of them said, "the paramedics are on their way, just stay awake."

_But I'm so tired,_

A hand slapped at my cheek, "Bella."

"You don't need to hit her," another voice snapped.

"Well what are you doing to keep her awake," the voice replied.

The next breath barely made it through. I gagged on the breath, and my body went into a frightful shock.

As my body convulsed and the lights dimmed my mind still conjured up the image of the paper, halving then quartering then being folded smaller and smaller like the air in my passageways. And finally, as my eyes were closing and my hands were sore and I was tired of pushing, tired of everything, I realized the paper just couldn't fold anymore.

**Edward's Point of View **

"Edward, sweetie, you have to slow down," Victoria gripped the armrest tightly, "if we crash we'll never reach there."

"She could die," I barked, as I drifted around the corner behind the EMT.

"Slow down," she demanded, "You ran a red light!"

"Right now Victoria, I don't give a damn," I yelled as we backed into the parking lot.

I didn't even wait for her as I jumped out of the car. I sprinted through the hospital on the heels of the doctors and Bella's crash cart, my eyes locked on her red face. Her lips were swollen, eye lids purple and skin was a flush of red.

"Bella," I called, just as she was wheeled around the corner. Both Mike and I ran up to where her room was stationed, but were stopped by the door slamming in our faces and locking. We watched helplessly as the doctors prodded and tried resuscitate her.

"Oh God, please," Mike prayed.

I could feel my blood begin to boil, "Yah pray, ass hat, because you're the reason she's in this situation."

"How is this my fault?" he snapped around to face me.

"Because you gave her that flipping piece of chicken," I didn't even try to keep my tone down. Passing nurses raised their eyes at us, "Did you know it had peanuts in it?"

"Yah, it had peanut sauce," Mike admitted.

I gripped his shirt, "Are you trying to kill her?"

"I didn't know," he shoved me off of him, "Get your hands off of me. I didn't know she was allergic to peanuts."

"So you sleep with her, but you don't know what your girlfriend is allergic to?" I ranted.

"What Bella and I do is none of your business," Mike spat, "Get out of my face Edward."

"I'll get out of your face when Bella's ok," I growled, "I swear Newton, if she doesn't pull through."

"Oh hell," he muttered, "you are in love with her!"

"What?" I squawked.

"That's what all of this is about," he scoffed, "You're in love with Bella."

"I _love _Bella because she's my best friend," I corrected, "and right now my best friend is dying."

"No Edward, it's always been more than that," Mike said before his voice lowered, "she loves you too."

"I'm…I'm not in love with her," I defended, "and she's not in love with me."

"It's not fair to her or to me Edward," he took a step up to me, "You're the one she tells first about her day. You're the one she tells her smallest thoughts to. _You _are the one that knows she's allergic to peanuts. But she's mine, Edward. _I _love her too. And as long as I know she still feels strongly for me, you had better stay the hell out of our way."

I know I shouldn't have done it. I know I _really _shouldn't have done it, but the emotions in my body were running so high, so out of control that I didn't even think before I threw a punch straight into his face. He didn't take long to send his fist back in my face.

It was only seconds before a few security guards pulled us from each other and hauled me off to a separate room. Locked in from the outside I pounded at the door, unrelenting for the next few minutes. It was when I sunk against the door that my breaths finally matched the choked ones of Bella. Somewhere deep down inside I knew that Mike was right. But in the same place came the same realization that I wasn't ready to accept it.

**Bella's Point of View**

_Beep. _

_Beep. _

_Beep. _

_Beep. _

My eyes fluttered open to a dark room with the outline of figures scattered around its area. I took a breath, only to choke and gag on tube going down my throat. The feel of the foreign object sent me into franticness. I tried to pull it out, only to be stopped by the pain.

"Hey," Rosalie came over to the bed and stilled my hand, "Sh, relax sweetie. You're fine. Don't take it out."

I coughed, as tears began to fall. _Hospitals, _I hate hospital.

"I'm going to go and get a nurse," she told me, but I grabbed her hand. I knew that if she left I'd surely lose it.

"Ok," she cooed, "I won't leave, I'll, um,"

She stretched over me to press a button to call for someone.

Rosalie's fingers were held in a death grip for the entire time it took for the nurse to come. When the awful thing was dislocated from my esophagus I was offered water. Unfortunately my body rejected it, retching into the bin near me. I could feel Rose's hand brushing back my hair as I was sick into the tub. The nurse wiped my lips and carried the plastic basket away from me.

She returned in a few seconds as the others began to wake up.

"Your heart rate spiked a bit didn't it," the nurses eye's rose as she looked at the chart, "try not to get too hyped up. We've had to keep stabilizing you all night."

I opened my mouth to talk, but could hardly rasp any words.

"I suggest you let your throat rest for a bit," she chuckled, "A swollen throat doesn't feel too great afterwards, especially after the tube was taken out. Don't worry, you should be able to sing perfectly again in a few days, just let it rest ok? There's a white board beside your bed if you want to communicate and there's always the button that Ms. Rosalie pressed. Are you fine?"

I nodded and signed thank you.

"I wish I understood sign language," the nurse chuckled, "but I think I got that.

"Are you ok, Bella," Alice rushed over to the bed and threw herself over me, "You scared me."

I wrapped my arms around her tightly before grabbing the white board and writing in large letters

_I'M SO SORRY. _

"I'm over that," she waved me off, "All I care about is you being ok."

_My throat hurts…_

"Yah," Jasper walked over as did the others. They were slowly surrounding my bed, "The doctor said your airway closed completely."

_Ugh, peanuts, _

I opened my mouth to talk, quickly getting tired of writing and erasing, "Mi…Ed.."

I began, but my throat seized the words causing me to cough. This really wasn't working out for me.

"Mike and Edward," Emmett guessed. I couldn't understand the amused expression on his face, "They're…detained."

_DETAINED?_

"Don't be horrible Emmett," Rosalie smacked him, "Long story short, Edward and Mike got into a fight and so while in the hospital they are not allowed within a five foot radius of one another."

_What happened?_

"That's what we'd all like to know," Jasper muttered, "I've never known Mike to get even angry let alone haul one off into someone."

"Yah, and it takes a lot to get Edward to hit someone like that," Emmett chuckled, "_A lot." _

_Mike punched Edward?_

"Only after Edward punched Mike," Alice filled, "I actually feel bad that the paparazzi missed that. At least we'd get the story a lot quicker. And in pictures."

"Speaking of which, there's no way we can control the publicity about Bella's attack, but no one has to know about the fight. Alice use your compact on Edward and Mike so no one can catch the bruising."

"Bruise," I coughed.

"Stop talking, you're hurting yourself," Alice chastised, "I should probably call to cancel a few things tomorrow."

_No, _I wrote, _I'll be fine by then. _

"You're not going to do a photo shoot or interview after going into anaphylactic shock Bella. That's ridiculous," Rosalie rolled her eyes, "We'll schedule it for another day."

_Just move the interview, I'll be fine to shoot tomorrow. _

"Are you sure," Alice asked.

_I know how important it is to get this out a while before the tour so yes. Go ahead._

"What a trooper," Emmett yawned.

_Go back home and sleep…thanks guys, for coming_

"There's nothing to thank," Rosalie pressed a kiss to my head, "Ugh, I'm going soft."

I wanted to laugh but it came out more as a wheeze.

"Are you sure you're going to be fine," Alice asked.

I nodded, _Goodnight y'all._

They said their goodnights as they filed out,

"Jasper," I croaked as I began to write.

"I'll send Mike and then Edward in," he laughed, "Feel better Bella."

"Will do," I rasped.

I lay back my head and shut my eyes since the fog of the medicine still hovering in my mind. I swallowed, the saliva feeling odd as it traveled down my recovered throat. My attempts at remembering last night's events were failing miserable. I remember eating the chicken…and eating the chicken. And that's about it.

But Edward punched Mike for giving me peanuts? I didn't think it was his fault though. I couldn't recall ever telling him that I was allergic to peanuts. So it was technically my fault. Though wouldn't Mike have told them that he didn't know? That didn't seem like a well enough basis to sock someone. Or else Edward would hit me on a regular basis.

"Bella," I opened my eyes to see Mike leaning against the doorway.

"Well don't stand there," I forced out the words.

He trailed his way over to me almost shyly. As he neared, I could see the slight blue at the bridge of his nose. I scooted over, wanting him to crawl in with me. Hesitantly, he complied.

"I'm so sorry," he placed a kiss at my lips, "Bella you don't know how sorry I am."

"Sh," I said and wound my hands into his, "I'm ok."

"You sound horrible," he groaned, "It's my fault. I should have asked…"

"No," I stopped him. I plucked the whiteboard from next to me and began to scribble,

_I really should have checked. I'm normally more careful with what I eat. _

"I just wish I wasn't the one to have given it to you," he brushed back some of my hair, "I can't even explain how I felt."

_Well we don't have to think about it. _I turned onto my side to run a hand through his hair. My fingers

trailed down to his slightly swollen nose, _Mike, what happened between you and Edward?_

Mike sighed, "I think we were both too unsettled for our own good."

I raised a brow, "Truth."

"I might have," he grumbled, "pushed at the fact that he liked you."

"Mike," I coughed, "How,"

"See, I didn't want you to get upset," he told me.

"I," I began to scribble, _Of course I'm upset. I care about both of you, I don't want you fighting. And Edward DOESN'T LIKE ME. _

"Then why would he be defensive about me questioning his feelings?" Mike asked.

_Edward isn't normal. _

Mike gave me a look before his phone buzzed. I hated that damn contraption.

_I hate your phone. _

"I know, I know, I'm really sorry," he pressed the pickup icon and pressed the device to his ear, "Mike Newton…Right, I know. She's in the hospital for Christ's sake. I understand…I know. Alright."

He snapped the phone shut.

"Gotta go," I scratched.

"You know I want to be here with you. But I have a script to revise," he sighed, "I'm-"

"Sorry," I forced a smile and leaned back my head to hold back the tears, "I know."

"Bella, I love you," he pressed a few kisses to my lips, "I'll see you tomorrow ok?"

I nodded, _if you won't beat him up can you send Edward in please?" _

He rolled his eyes, "Sure. Night hon."

"Mhm," I rolled over, letting the tears spill and travel down the bridge of my nose and then onto the papery pillowcase beneath me.

"Hey," a familiar finger brushed under my chin, tipping it to face him, "Why the tears?" I wrote out shakily on the board, _he always has to leave._

"Ugh, Bella," Edward crawled into the bed with me and pulled me into his side. His thumb rubbed at my cheek, "I'm sure he'd rather be here with you."

"You see Victoria every day," I whispered.

"Yah well Victoria, as much as I hate to admit it, her line of work doesn't require as much constant work as Mike's," I could feel him shrug, "And just so you know Bella, you sound like a man."

I hit his arm playfully, "Jerk."

"Whatever you say," he chuckled, "Don't ever scare me like that again."

_Sorry, _I wrote lazily, _Next time I'll tell my body not to go into anaphylactic shock. _

"I was going to kill him," Edward's voice took on a murderous tone, "Wring his neck with my bare hands and have him suffocate like you were…but that wouldn't solve anything."

"So you punched him," I said.

"I may have tapped his face with my knuckle," Edward said, "but it's nothing for you to worry about. Mike and I have an understanding I think."

I huffed, _your nose doesn't look like an understanding. _

"I have to give it to him, Mike sure knows how to punch."

_It looks like it hurt_, I lifted my hand the stroke the risen bump on his nose. I let my tips trail to his lips and felt the slightly swollen area. The pulse of my thumb thudded against his soft, hot skin, and I felt suddenly too aware of his body next to mine.

"I don't ever want to lose you," Edward mumbled beneath my fingers.

"It's going to take more than a few peanuts to take me down," I mumbled.

"That's my fighter," he pulled my hand into his and wrapped our fingers together, "I really do love you Bella."

"Love you too," I coughed as I rolled over. And unlike Mike, Edward didn't leave.

...

"Stick your fingers through his pants," the photographer ordered.

"Excuse me what," I stuttered.

"The loops Bella," Edward chuckled, "Put your fingers through my jean loops."

"Does this look wrong to you," I asked him as I poked my finger through the jean holes.

"It's supposed to," he rolled his eyes, "Now smile for the camera."

We posed as the bright light went off. I groaned internally at the way this would look.

"What are you, scared of touching me," Edward chuckled, "Virgin."

I tugged him by the loop holes to be close into me, "You wish."

His eyes widened, "You're joking right."

"Wouldn't you like to know," I tilted my head up and angled my body for a different shot.

"I would like to know, which is why you're going to tell me," he prompted.

"Make me," I teased.

Suddenly I was in a fit of laughter as Edward's fingers probed my stomach. As his fingertips rubbed tickling circles into my muscles I couldn't stop myself from toppling over. But as long as I was going down, Edward was going to go down with me.

"Good, great," the director cheered, "this is what I've been waiting for!"

"Want to fly," Edward asked me.

"What?"

He rolled us so that we were sitting up and then instructed me on what to do.

"You're a real creep you know that," I giggled as I leaned my hips against his feet. In a few shaky seconds I was up on this feet balancing on the flat of them as his hands helped to steady mine. Once I gained confidence, I let go of his hands and closed my eyes.

It's always the small moments, no matter how random they might be, that you come to a realization. When you look at a picture, or stick a string of spaghetti in your mouth, or even when you sit on a toilet is when something comes to you. But right now, as I closed my eyes and spread my arms out and balanced on Edward's feet I came to one of those monumental realizations. I didn't have feelings for Edward, I didn't _like _Edward…I was irrevocably in love with him. And you know I must love him a lot if I used such a long word to describe it.

In the middle of this epiphany I came across another realization, and that was the fact that I still loved Mike too just not in the suffocating fiery way I felt for Edward. And I realized that was always the difference between Mike and Edward. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel physically attracted to Mike because I often found myself tackling him. But then there was Edward who…who made me feel like I was flying.

But that doesn't matter because I'm not letting go of Mike. I _can't _let go of Mike. So while I can, while I'm still up and in flight, I'm going to enjoy the ride.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	24. Chapter 24

You and Me: Chapter 24  
_"And it's you"_

"Bell, can I call you mommy," Auden asked me as we colored.

The fire truck red crayon snapped in my hand from the sudden applied pressure. How did I answer something like this? Edward and I had never discussed how much Auden knows about his mother, and so I wasn't prepared for this question. Even if I had discussed this with Edward I doubt I would have been prepared. Well of course he couldn't call me mommy, I wasn't his mother. But how do I say that to a four year old child who doesn't have a mother? Better yet, how do I say that to _Edward's _child? All he was looking for was a mother figure, and as flattered as I was that he'd found it in me I was positive that was something Edward wanted to save for his future companion. Like Victoria.

I scoffed. I couldn't see Victoria being a mother. Well, I couldn't see her being Auden's mother. She hardly even spoke to him. Surely Edward could see that she wasn't right for him. I didn't think she even liked children. She always gets this upturned nose look when Auden tries to get her attention. Granted she's never mean to him, but it's not as if she more than tolerated him. Not to mention the fact that she avoids him like the plague if he has anything near her stainable clothes. On top of this, actually birthing a child would ruin her body. God forbid.

"Bell," he tapped my knee.

"Well, peanut," I sighed, "I don't really think you should."

"Why," Auden asked.

"Because," I said, "Your daddy wouldn't like it very much."

"Why," he repeated.

"Because," it was me who repeated this time. I tried to keep the tenseness out of my tone, "I'm not your mommy."

"Why," came his predictable reply.

"Maybe you should ask your father," I answered.

"Can you be mommy," he questioned.

"No, Auden," I told him.

"But why," he whined.

"Peanut please," I sighed, "Let's not talk about this ok? I can't be your mommy because I'm not your mommy."

"Not fair!" he threw the crayon on the floor.

"Auden," I bent down and picked up the crayon. I wave of air passed my face right before Auden hit me in the nose with the edge of his hardcover book, "Auden!"

"I hate you," he screamed and ran out of the room, "I hate you!"

I lifted my hand up to my nose and pressed finger to the sore area before racing out of the room to go after Auden.

"Auden," I called, "Auden, sweetie, don't hide from me."

I ran to his room where the handle was locked.

"Auden," I knocked on the door, "Open up!"

"Away," he yelled. Something thudded against the door and crashed. My heart rate began to pick up as I thought of Auden hurt or bleeding. I tried calling for him again, but with no reply. I bit my lip as jammed the handle.

_Edward's going to kill me._

How does it look if he left and trusted me with his child and I ended up having to bring him to the hospital? That's something to write on a Christmas card.

_Sorry for sending your child into a coma. Hopefully we'll laugh about this in the future. Merry Christmas,  
~Bella._

"Auden," I shouted. Bending my arm, I braced my elbow and smacked it down on the metal handle. Thankfully, the lock gave way easily. I pushed open the door, only to see that Auden was perfectly fine and lying on his bed.

"Away," he repeated as I stepped over the broken piggy bank and shuffled through the scattered pennies and dimes. I crawled onto the bed with him and rolled him over to face me.

"Sweetie," I sighed, and pushed back his curls from his eyes, "I would love to be your mommy, but I can't. It's not in my power for me to be your mommy."

"But where's mine," he asked.

I cleared my throat, "Your mommy is gone. But she loves you so much, more than you could ever know. And I love you too Auden. You are such wonderful, special boy. And even if I can't be your mommy, I would love to be your best friend. Would that be alright?"

He nodded, and pressed the cut on my nose, "Sorry."

"It's ok peanut. Just don't do it again," I chuckled, "I think you should have a bit of a nap though. How about it?"

He yawned, "K."

Like a stalker, I watched his eyes eventually flutter close. Softly, I touched his tinted pink eyelids, and passed my fingertips over his nose, then over his plump cheeks and finally to his small round chin. He had Edward's plush lips, and I knew underneath those lids lay the startling green eyes. Such a beautiful little boy, and Tanya wouldn't get to see how beautiful he was because she'd given him up. I wondered if she had not been on drugs and if the birth had been under different circumstances if she would have kept him. In a way I was glad. Not because Auden had lost a mother, but because I knew that if she hadn't given him up I would have never been able to be accepted into this family. What was her loss was my gain. But that didn't mean that Auden deserved to grow up wondering where his mother was, who she was and why she didn't want him. It wasn't fair for any child to have to go through that. It wasn't fair for any child to have to experience the loss of someone meant to be so close to them.

As Auden snuggled down into his blanket, I squat down and began to pack the plethora of coins into a bag. I used the back of my hands to wipe my blurring eyes. Yah Auden, I sniffled as I threw the bronze and silver circles into the plastic bag, it really wasn't fair.

...

"What happened to your nose," Edward jumped onto the couch to face me, "Did your coordination get the best of you again?"

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to share the amused expression that he had, but I couldn't. "I think Edward that we need to talk about Tanya."

His expression changed, "What about her?"

"About what you want Auden to know about her," I worded carefully, "because he and I had a run in today."

"Auden did that to you," he touched the band-aid at my nose, "What happened?"

"He asked if he could call me mommy," I said truthfully, "and I had to explain why he couldn't."

"How did that-"

"He got upset," I told him, "and hit me with the book. I mean it was not a problem to me, I'm not angry at Auden and neither should you be. I'm just concerned as to why he would react that way. On the bright side, your child's got an arm on him."

His lips pursed as he became unnaturally silent. I looked at the clocked, noticing that it was _7:30_. It was five minutes before Edward finally spoke. As awkward as the silence was, I knew he was just thinking. So I took up the five minutes by staring at the objects around me. The TV, the planter, the spider dangling from the planter, anything I could focus my eyes on.

"What else happened," he asked.

"He asked about her," I answered, "He asked where she is, and I told him that she is gone."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing," I replied.

"Well then ok," Edward shrugged, "I'll leave it at that."

"Edward that doesn't mean he forgot."

"So what am I meant to do about that," Edward's tone grew hostile, "Am I supposed to tell him that his mother left him. That she was a crack and heroin addict, and that she cared more about shooting up than being with him? What am I supposed to tell him, Bella?"

"First of all don't talk to me like that," I snapped, "I'm having the decency to talk to you about our child, and try to help."

"My child," he said.

"What," I back tracked over my words. Isn't that what I'd said?

"You said _our _child. He's not yours, he's mine," Edward corrected.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, "It just slipped."

"Slipped," he scoffed, "You think you're his mother."

"No," I said, "I made a mistake. I just care for Auden, in fact I love him."

"Yah, I love him too," he chuckled coldly, "but you're not his mother."

Normally when you hear or experience something surprising your mouth pops open as a reaction. But after hearing what Edward had just said my mouth remained wired shut, teeth gritting together. Of course I knew I wasn't Auden's mother, but the way Edward had said it was as if it was a disgusting thing to even consider. I treated Auden as if he was my son and took on responsibilities that didn't make me just his _best friend._ And he wanted to bring _Victoria _in to mother his child, the woman who didn't want to touch a toy car or breathe the same air a child sneezed in_? _I wasn't expecting Edward to up and praise me and tell me I was the perfect mother for his child, because I wasn't. But for him to react so revolted at the thought of it was insulting.

There are only a few times in my life where I truly mean what I say when insulting someone. There were also a few times that I completely lost it. Luckily this wasn't one of those times, although I did mean every word that came out of my mouth next,

"You know Edward, for such a kind person, you sure know how to act like a dick."

Thankfully the phone chose to ring at that moment because I was two seconds away from delivering Edward the worse tongue lashing he could ever receive.

"Hello," my voice was notably clenched.

"Bella?"

My heart jumped from my stomach into throat, only allowing me to release a small, "Mhm,"

"I, uh, I'm- I think you should come outside."

He barely finished his last two words before I left the phone dangling and sprinted for the door.

It's funny how emotions can change from one to another so drastically and quickly. I mean a few seconds ago I had been ready to spew hateful words, and now I felt on the verge of screaming and weeping from happiness. From the door I could see his tall, tan and burly frame cowering the guards who were dealing with him. I took in his jet black hair, and muscular arms, and couldn't stop the unattractive bawls from traveling through my chest and out of my lips.

"Let him in," I yelled, "Please, let him in."

The second the pedestrian gate buzzed him in I was already up the drive way and throwing open the iron fencing.

"Oh God," I ran my hands over his face as hot tears gushed down my face at an alarming rate, "You look so much like him."

"I know," his cheeks were damp.

"Seth," I reached up, pushed my hand through his hair, and let myself laugh at how joyful and painful this moment was, "You're killing me."

He let out a strained laugh, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I kept my arms locked around him for a few more seconds, "Come inside please."

He nodded as I pulled him in by the hand, "Are you hungry, thirsty, tired, cold, anything? I can whip you up anything you want just name it."

"Bella, I'm fine, really," he laughed.

"Do you know how much you're like him," I leaned forward from where I was positioned across from him and stroked his face, "the way you laugh, the way you speak even the way you sit. It's surreal."

"Trust me, everyone tells me that," Seth laughed, "In a way it's unsettling, but otherwise I'm fine. Jacob was hot."

I laughed, "That he was. So how have you been? You've gotten so much taller!"

"There's something in the water there," he shrugged, "well you've certainly changed too."

I picked at the hem of my shirt, "I'm still Bella I promise."

"Not in that way," Seth rolled his eyes, "I mean damn. If Jacob was still alive and you were dating, I'd have a hard time not stealing you from him. Then again I do have Jenny."

I shook my head, "Same Seth."

"Well who else would I be," he shrugged.

"Who's this Jenny," I raised a brow, "Girlfriend?"

I could see the small hue of red beneath Seth's cheeks, "Fiancé."

"You're hardly seventeen!" I crowed, "Seth, you're just a baby."

He laughed, "That's what mom said."

"And…Leah," I asked.

His features changed a bit to a darker emotion, "Leah's been Leah."

That girl could rival Rosalie easily, "Oh."

"You know she never took Jake's death well, especially after Dad's," he murmured.

"I know exactly how she feels," I nodded. Seth's hand reached out to rest on my knee,

"How have you been?"

"I'm getting there," I smiled, "Not waking up crying every night or screaming or anything."

"And the limelight?" he asked.

"Has its pros and cons," I shrugged, "you get used to it. Plus I love the singing and the band. They're my family now. I really think leaving did me well."

He was quiet for a moment, "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Leaving?"

He rubbed his hand over his face before pulling my hand into his large one, "No Bella," he sighed, "About coming back."

...

_Can you come over? _

When I was testing for my drivers permit I was required to take an alcohol and drug awareness course. Little did I know that when doing it online it takes 8 hours to complete the entire course which reiterates itself within each chapter.

_Driving impaired can lead to deaths, _

_If your BAC is higher than 0.02 you can be charged with a misdemeanor _

Jacob and I laughed at how much they took everything into consideration when preparing us for the test at the end of the chapter. Something that was meant to be a drug and alcohol awareness test was now venturing into the endless topics of emotion and how driving in any unsettled state counts as driving impaired. If you're too tired, and you're driving, _you're driving impaired. _If you're too angry, _you're driving impaired. _If you're too excited, _you're driving impaired. _If you're face is soaking wet, you're bawling your eyes out and the only think you can concentrate on is the way your heart is splitting (not the road or truck passing in front of you), _you're definitely driving impaired. _At the end of this test, your passing is a vow that you under these conditions, or any other impairments, you will not attempt to operate a motor vehicle.

Yet here I was doing the exact thing I'd vowed against. Though driving impaired was the last thing I was thinking about when driving back home. I guess that was why I was driving impaired. Under any other circumstance I would have been able to take a deep breath and push myself to just reach home. But this, this _accumulation _of circumstances, had me pulling off onto the shoulder of the road and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I had to think about it. I had to see where I went wrong. I had to show myself that it was my fault so that I could move on and forgive myself. So that's what I did. I replayed what happened just a few hours ago.

_Can you come over? _

The text woke up my phone, notifying me that I had received a message from Mike. Smiling, I pocketed the device and drove over to his house.

There was only a choice few times I'd been over to Mike's house in our relationship. I don't know why I didn't frequent there, I reminded myself to ask Mike this later. As I pulled into the driveway my mind was still aflame with the previous conversation with Seth and his offer. The anniversary (the word seems too joyous to associate it with this but for lack of a better word I'll digress) of Jacob's death was coming up and with the deteriorated health of Billy Black as well as sanity amongst the family Seth thought it would be beneficial for me to come back to La Push and spend a gracious amount of time there. I had no issues with going back and visiting, but Seth wanted me to stay…indefinitely. He didn't mean I could never come back to Hollywood, but he wanted me to put it on hold so I could piece back together the remains of the only family I had left. My mind and heart were split in half, two halves residing in Hollywood and the other two congregating in La Push. Family vs. family, and I didn't know or want to choose.

Mike's tall frame leaned in the doorway, much like the stance he'd held when he was in the hospital. Speaking of which, I hadn't seen him since then. We'd only shared broken phone calls and interrupted internet dates. Once in a ten foot radius of him, I was almost desperate to be in his embrace and feel the company of someone who didn't hate or want something from me.

"You would not believe the day I've had," I threw my arms around him, and burrowed my head into his neck, "Right now, I just need you, me, and a bit of silence."

He nodded as I pulled him to his couch. I lay down with my head in his lap as he stroked his fingers through my hair tenderly. I shut my eyes as his fingers worked through some of knots carefully. I took his hand from my hair, and brought it to my lips. I could feel his soft skin against my palm, and hummed.

"Bella," he murmured, "I really need to talk to you about something."

"It can wait," I said as I pecked from his wrist, to his shoulder, to his neck, and then to his lips.

He was hesitant at first before finally moving his. They molded to mine, smooth and strong. I felt them press firmer, committed wholly to mine in a way I'd never felt with Mike. It was like he was pouring his heart and soul into the kiss, and every touch was hot and intentional and I _loved _it. I climbed on top of him and trailed my hands from his face to his waist and back up again. His moved from my sides and drifted to my waist, digging his fingers into my hips. They moved up underneath hem of my dress and stroked the skin of my stomach from the underwire of my bra to the waistline of my underwear, not quite daring to venture underneath.

"You can, I trust you," I whispered against his lips, "I love you."

His lips stilled immediately, "Bella, we really need to talk."

With the silence that transpired between us I could hear our shallow breaths and feel our hearts beat through our pressed chests. I climbed off of his lap, and faced him on the couch.

"About what," I asked. This didn't sound good at all. I gripped my hands together tightly, "You know you can talk to me about anything. I'll understand."

"I know," he nodded, "I'm hoping you will."

"Well," I prepared myself, "Go on then tell me."

"Bella, I love you, I really do. And I want more than anything for you to be happy," Mike said, "which is why I think that we should no longer pursue this relationship."

_No longer pursue this relationship…_ "You're breaking up with me."

"Ah don't say it like that," he said, "that sounds so…teenager."

"So you're breaking up with me _and _implying that I'm immature," I scoffed, "Great."

"Bella, please," he said, "you're not making this any easier."

"I wasn't aware that there was an easy way to do this," I put my head to my hands to let my hair serve as a curtain to divide us, "W-why?"

"I just," he sighed, "I don't think I'm ready for a serious relationship."

"That's bull and we both know," I said, "If you're trying to make this easy, at least tell me the truth."

Mike was silent as he used a hand to brush my hair behind my ear. When I caught his blue eyes I couldn't hold it in anymore. For the third time today I found myself crying and completely helpless.

"It's me isn't it," I sniffed, "I messed us up."

"It's Edward," Mike held my cheek, "No one _messed _it up. Our feelings just changed."

"B-but, I love you too," I tried, "I promise I love you."

"I know you do," he nodded.

"But it's not enough," I guessed.

"It's not enough," he said.

"I'm so sorry," I pressed a kiss to his lips, unable to hold myself back, "I'm so sorry for hurting you."

He gave a weak smile, "It's nothing I can't heal from."

"Do you think," I tried, "that we could be friends?"

Mike shook his head, "I need time."

I let out a humorless laugh as I wiped at my cheeks and nose, "I guess I owe you that much."

He walked me to the door. I don't know how long we stood there, or how long we were staring into each others' faces almost as if we were memorizing what we were saying goodbye to. I knew I was. So with one last lingering kiss I was sent on my way to my car, and began my reckless driving. It was funny how I'd fallen in love with Edward with the intention of not letting Mike go. Because now, I was still in love with Edward and Mike, and Mike was the one to let me go.

...

My heels clicked against the floor as I walked into the entrance. I put on heels for him. I hung up my keys and purse and clipped up my hair. The ends of my strands were wet with the tears. I'd cried for him.

In the past few hours it was unbelievable the amount of emotions I'd ranged through. Anger, sadness, acceptance, and now numbness; it seemed like the constant thrum of pain evened out, and I was now used to it.

"Bella," I looked up to see Edward in the hallway, "It's twelve o'clock."

Originally, I'd thought after Mike broke up with me that it was horrific having to experience something else disheartening after the event with Edward and the event with Seth. But now I realized that sometimes insult to injury is necessary because if you cut the already wounded flesh you're still going to heal, but at least all at the same time. So now, as I faced the last thing I thought could possibly hurt me, or the last _person _who I thought could hurt me, I decided to rub the salt into my already raw skin. I couldn't candy coat it, I couldn't put it off any longer, and I just had to know.

In four strides I was in front of him, my face inches from his. But now was not the time to hover. I was done with hovering. Encasing his face in my hands, I pulled Edward's lips to mine. _Please, _I hoped, _please Edward. _

His lips began to move against mine in an unorganized yet skillful way. It seemed as if everything about Edward was contradictory to Mike. His hot lips, his rough hands…it was so many feelings, so much everything at once.

"Edward," I whispered, "I love you."

And then it was done.

"You," I back tracked, "You don't have to say it back. I just have to know if you feel something, _anything _for me."

"Bella," he started. I already knew what was coming; I could already see the words scribbled across his face in capital letters.

"Wait," I stopped him before he could tell me, "Edward, this is the last time."

"What do you mean," he asked.

"This is the last time I'm saying this. This is the third time, and after this I can't take pining after you. It's now or never," I told him, "I lost Mike for you. If you don't feel the same way, I'll understand. I just need to know."

He sighed, "Bella, I'm so sorry."

After racing past him and making my way to my room, all I could do was take a few breaths and flop onto my bed. I thought about Auden, I thought about Edward, I thought about Mike and then finally thought about Seth and the decision he provided me with. Then after all this thinking, I came to a conclusion and my decision was made. The two residing halves of my heart and my mind joined the congregating halves. And I waited, and waited for the onslaught of more pain but it never came. All I could feel was the same, dull thrum from before. Somehow that didn't settle me. I realized with a dark chuckle, in one of those moments again, that the plane ride with Edward was finally over, and this is what it felt like to be crashing.

...

She was the only one I knew who would understand, and that was probably the thing that scared me the most. So as I finished lugging my duffel on my back through the house quietly and stowing it in the back of the trunk, I took one last look at the house before pulling out of the driveway and speeding over to Rosalie's house. I made sure to ring her cell phone before knocking on the door. I knew I wouldn't be able to get anywhere if it was Emmett who answered the door. I waited, and waited, and eventually the door flew open.

"You better have a flipping good reason as to why you're here," she grumbled and flipped back her blonde tresses. I took in her intimidating front, supermodel figure and lips curled into a snarl. This was Rosalie, and I loved every unpleasant characteristic about her, "Why are you hugging me!"

"I'm going to miss you," I mumbled into her shoulder.

"What," she held me back from her, "What are you talking about?"

"Rose," I sighed, "I'm leaving."

"Leaving," her facial expression immediately changed, "Bella, why don't you come inside and talk."

"There's really nothing to talk about," I told her, "I have to go Rosalie. I love you all, but I have to leave."

"Oh Bella," Rosalie picked up my hand, "What happened?"

"Nothing," I lied quickly.

"What about the others?"

"That's why I'm telling you," I said, "You're the only one who will let me go. I can't say goodbye to anyone else without getting roped into staying."

She turned her head away from me quickly. I never would have imagined that Rosalie was getting emotional by the way she was casually looking up. It was only when I heard the traitor sniffle, and saw the single, glistening tear that I knew she was crying.

"What if I don't want to let you go either," she said, "Do you know how unfair this is to me? They're going to kill me for letting you go so easily."

"You and I both know they'll get over it."

"I don't think they will," she rubbed her eyes, "Ok. Fine, go."

"Rosalie," I bit my lip to hold back the tears, "Please don't be like that. You don't get it. I-I'm breaking."

Her slim, but strong hands wound me in an embrace.

"I really love you," I pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"You too," she sniffed.

"Rose, one more thing," I pulled the two letters from out of my back pocket, "Can you give these to Alice and Edward please?"

She pulled the letters from my fingers and nodded, "Don't forget us Bella."

I shook my head as I walked away from Rosalie, the one who started this all and now was the one to end it all, "Never."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	25. Chapter 25

You and Me: Chapter 25  
"_And me"_

I watched my tear drop onto the leather, and scolded myself. This is ridiculous. I just don't cry. But damn Bella and her damn leaving and leaving me with the damn responsibility to tell them. I guess I could understand why she chose me though. Jasper and I were probably the most qualified to do what she wanted me to do, but Jasper wouldn't have let her go.

So why did I?

I was realistic and the least obtuse. None of my family members would want to admit that maybe Bella needed to go somewhere else to get a hold of herself because the Cullens are always trying to _fix_ people. And it didn't mean I loved Bella any less than they did because to be quite honest, and I hated to admit it, I thought of her like I thought of Alice. She was a sister, and sisters looked out for one another. It has always been that way.

And as I drove home from Axe Records I almost chuckled at how odd this was. Both Tanya and Bella, both broken in some sense, had to leave. I just didn't know if we'll all bounce back this time. I glanced at the two envelopes poking out of my purse, and plucked them out. I pulled onto the shoulder of the road, and began to open the first one. I knew I was invading their privacy, but right now I didn't care. Bella had been so vague in her explanation for leaving that I didn't even know why she left. And I think I deserved an explanation.

The first letter was Alice's. I took a deep breath as I began to read, Bella's hand writing was normally more than legible, but now as I read it looked half chicken scratch. Small rings appeared around smudged ink, and I knew that she'd been crying.

_Dear Alice, _

_ You don't know how hard this is for me to write this, and I'm positive that you probably don't care because you're angry with me. And I wish that I could be next to you explaining myself instead of this cowardly letter, but I just can't. I really can't. _

_ When I came to Hollywood, I was open to starting a new life and a new career and a new everything. I was intent on leaving my past behind and pretending that it didn't exist. But I'm realizing now that your past comes back, literally. _

_ And to say that I was miserable the whole time I was there would be lying. Alice, you've helped me heal so much. You and the Cullens are unbelievable…after Tanya and all you've been through you still had enough heart to accept me while I was messy and broken –no questions asked. And the first night when you still didn't even know me you helped me and trusted me with your family. It takes someone so strong to do that, and it hurts to admit that I'm not that strong. _

_Which is why I gave this letter to Rosalie…I knew from the start that Rosalie was a hard headed, strong-willed and determined woman. And she knows what has to be done even if it hurts her in the process. And even though she hardly admitted it (and when she did she always looked pained) she loves me. She knows that as long as I'm in Hollywood, I can't get better. Even with your help. _

_So don't be mad at her because she was only doing the last thing she could do to help me. Tell her I love her for me, please?_

_I also need you to tell Jasper and Emmett how much I'm going to miss them. It's not that I didn't want to write a letter to them, but I don't think I can make it through five letters. They've both cheered me up so much and fallen into the place of being big brothers for me so well I think we were separated at birth. They showed me that it's fun to laugh at yourself, and other people, sometimes. And that there really are people out there who live for music like I do…whenever I played music with them I felt alive._

_Before I close this letter, I just have to explain something else. _

_Remember the night we had that colossal fight about…about cutting? I'm starting to realize that it wasn't so much the thought of you talking behind my back so much as the fear of you realizing you couldn't accept me. I wanted so badly to start over, to begin a new life with your family that I was willing to hide any part of me, every scarred part of me. But you proved me so wrong Alice. _

_I'm not going to call this a goodbye because that would imply I'm not going to see you again. So I'm just going to say 'ta ta' for now. I really do love you Alice, and I'm sorry for this abrupt leaving._

_Thank you for accepting me, _

_~Bella. _

I pushed the newly tear stained letter back into its envelope and hesitated with Edward's in my hand. For some reason I knew that I couldn't read his. Firstly because I was currently a mess, and secondly because I knew Bella had feelings for Edward, and whatever she wrote would be too personal (and probably awkward) for me.

After pulling back onto the road I drove to Edward's house where we were all meeting. I made sure that I bought Auden a new toy to occupy him while we talked about Bella's departure. I didn't even want to think about how her leaving would affect him. It would probably leave me upset with her.

I reached his house in five minutes but only entered when I was ready. All their cars were there and stationed and I knew they must be wondering what was going on. Maybe they were catching on, I hoped, since none of them had seen Bella this morning.

I was hit with another wave of sadness when I stepped through the door and didn't smell Bella's regular cooking. Though oddly enough, for once, I didn't feel like drinking coffee. If I even sipped at the hot brew I'd probably end up sick.

"Rose," Emmett met me at the hallway, "Were you crying? What happened?"

"Come on," I wrapped half of his large hand with mine, "We all need to talk."

"Where's Bella," he asked as we entered the family room, "We all thought she was with you."

_Well she was, _

"Hey Auden," I smiled at the little boy. He was occupied with one of his toy buses. For a moment I wished I was him, innocent and unaware, "Look who got you a new rocket ship!"

His eyes widened to the size of saucers, "Aunty Rosie!"

"Why don't you take it to your play room and try it out," I gave it to him. I didn't even mind that he forgot to thank me as he ran off with his new item.

"This has got to be bad," Jasper said, "We haven't had to divert Auden for a while."

"Emmett, sit down," I told him.

"Rose, please tell us what happened," he groaned, "it is killing me."

"What I'm about to say is going to be difficult for us all, so I'm really sorry," I warned them, "Bella left."

The room was silent to a point where it became suffocating. I passed a hand through my hair just to have some sort of movement in the room. Everyone's faces had a different expression on it. Alice's mouth hung open, Jasper looked stony and Emmett looked confused. Edward? Edward just looked sick.

"Why," Emmett finally asked.

"She needed to get better," I told him, "and she couldn't do that here."

"But she was doing so much better," Jasper said. It wasn't often that I saw my brother flustered, but today was one of those days, "I didn't know…"

"So she just left without saying goodbye," Emmett says, "That doesn't seem like Bella."

"Something must have happened," Alice shook her head, "I mean something must have caused her to want to leave. She was getting better. Did she say anything to you Rose?"

I shook my head, "Hardly. But if you had seen her…she was a mess. She left you and Edward a letter." I handed it to the both of them.

"Wait you let her go," Edward said, "you just let her leave."

"You didn't see her," I told him, "She needed to go."

"If someone's in an emotional state you don't just let them drive off to the airport,' he barked.

"Yah well where were you when she was crying and bawling her eyes out," I retorted.

"Sleeping," he answered.

"Ha," I let out a humorless laugh, "Were you?"

Edward met my gaze in a challenge, his stark green ones in a dance with my icy blue ones. But I'd be damned if I wavered. Somehow I knew that Edward played a part in Bella's departure and my theory was further proved by the glint in his eye. The small glint that showed he wasn't as confident as he appeared. I knew Edward knew that I could see it because I'm a blood hound for that kind of stuff. And when his eyes broke the stare for a millisecond, I knew that I had sniffed well.

"Oh God," Alice squeaked, "It's you."

"What?" I said.

"Edward," she said, "What happened last night?"

"What do you mean," he asked, but even I could see, clear on his face that he knew.

"What happened between you and Bella last night," Alice demanded.

"We may have had a fight," he said, "but it wasn't big enough to warrant her leaving. I mean Bella and I have fights all the time."

"What was the fight about," she pressed.

"None of your business, Alice,"

"It's our business if our family member is gone," Jasper said, "and don't speak to her like that, Edward."

"Auden wanted to know if he could call Bella 'mommy.' I kind of flipped and told her that she was _not _Auden's mother," Edward said.

"And she got upset," Jasper asked.

"Over the way that I said it," Edward clarified, "But all she did was call me a dick."

"Good," I snorted, "I should do that more often."

Edward shot me a glare. "That's all she said," Emmett questioned.

"Well the phone rang so that's all she really could say," He shrugged, "But then…she dropped the phone and she ran outside yelling at the guard to let someone in."

"Who was it," I asked.

"I don't even know, some boy," I almost laughed at the tone in Edward's voice. He was jealous, "and she was crying and hugging and kissing him like she hadn't seen him in forever. Then she took him inside and they were talking for more than an hour. I couldn't even ask her about him because as soon as he left she was going over to Mike's house."

"Then," Alice said, "Go on."

"When she came back…she looked empty. It was kind of creepy the way she was staring blankly," Edward hesitated, "And then she kissed me."

OK, even I had to gasp at that one.

"And what did you do," Alice raised a brow.

Edward placed his head in his hand and pulled at his hair, "I kissed her back. And she told me she loved me…as more than a friend."

"Edward, please tell me you did," Alice begged, "please tell me you told her you love her back."

Edward shook his head, "I don't."

At those two words, Alice got up and stormed out of the room. I was now more confused than before as to what had happened. But by the looks of Alice's face she knew exactly what had. And as Edward raced out of the house I was starting to think that maybe it really was Edward who had caused Bella to leave.

**Alice's Point of View**

"Alice!" Edward ran after to me. He cut in front of me and slammed the car door that I was about to crawl through. I didn't want to hear anything he would say. I knew this would happen. I knew that they were both too imperceptive to catch this in time. But no, Alice is brash, Alice is too hopeful, Alice has _no boundaries. _

"Don't talk to me," I yelled at him.

"What is wrong with you," he yelled back.

"No it's what's wrong with you," I stepped closer to him, "After losing Tanya you're really going to let Bella go?"

"Why can't you believe me that I don't love her?" Edward said, "Why is it that I have to force myself to feel something for her to make you happy."

"It's not to make me happy," I told him, "It's to make you happy. That's all I've cared about Edward, is you and Bella's happiness. And you seem to be fine with faking your feelings for Victoria."

"What the hell are you talking about," his voice was low.

"I'm talking about how you don't like Victoria, but you insist on dating her," I said, "Everything about her is wrong for you."

"To you," Edward said, "She's exactly what I need."

"She might be exactly what you need, but she's not what you want," I scoffed, "Bella is both."

"Stop trying to force me to pick Bella, Alice. This is ridiculous."

"What's ridiculous is how much you're fooling yourself," I tried to get into the car, "Move, Edward."

"No," he said, "I'm not letting you leave being mad at me for something that isn't my fault."

"How is it not your fault?" I asked, "She left because you misguided her into thinking you love her and then told her you didn't."

"I misguided her?" Edward scoffed this time, "I made it clear to her before that I didn't have feelings for her."

"So why did you kiss her back," I questioned.

As soon as the words left my lips realization dawned on me. I knew that Bella loved Edward, and I knew that Edward loved Bella, but the reason as to why he denied it was always lost to me. But now as I posed the question, what we had just said in our conversation spurred an epiphany. _Victoria is what he needs…but not what he wants. _And for once I felt an overwhelming sense of pity and sympathy for Edward, but at the same time my anger was still being fueled by the fact this could have all been avoided. Now that I knew the answer to the question, and Edward seemed not to I was more than happy to tell him.

"I'll tell you why you kissed her Edward. It's because you love her,"

"Alice-"

"No listen to me," I interrupted, "You love her and you're scared of it. You've never loved a woman as much as you've loved Bella –not even Tanya. And you couldn't admit it because you're scared that when you do and she leaves for good you won't be able to find anyone else like her. Which sure backfired this time Edward because now she really left and you're not going to find someone who makes you happy like Bella does. Someone who loves your child like Bella does and is willing to drop everything to come to you.

Three times, Edward, she gave you a chance. And you denied it knowing that you are in love with her. And you're hiding under the guise of loving Victoria, but you don't. You love that Victoria is safe, Victoria is stable, and as long as you play your cards right she'll be there for as long as _you _want her. But you know what Edward, reality is going to come and bitch slap you in the face in a few days because you never know what you've got until it's gone."

I pushed Edward's stunned body aside and climbed into my car without looking back. As far as I was concerned I felt bad for him, but I wanted nothing to do with Edward until he brought Bella back.

**Bella's Point of View **

A hand shook at my shoulder bringing me to, "Bells?"

I looked up to see the black hair and cinnamon skin, my heart jumped, "Jacob?"

"No," he chuckled, "It's still Seth. We're here."

I sat up out of his lap, and stretched.

I looked around at the jagged faces of rock staring at me. They stretched their hands into the grey sky and their necks descended under the crashing black waves. Compared to the sunny state of California, everything in Washington was dismal and dreary. Not even the beach at the reservation seemed inviting.

"Thanks for picking me up;" I said to Seth, "I really appreciate it."

"Anything for family," he smiled, "I'll get your bags out of the trunk."

I nodded, "Thanks."

As we carried my luggage to the house my heart began to pound. I hadn't been in the Black's house since before Jacob's death, and now I was expected to stay in his room. I know I could ask to stay with Seth, but the whole reason for me coming here was to take care of Billy.

"Billy is going to be so surprised to see you," Seth bounced up the steps, "You might just give him a heart attack."

I stopped walking, "You're joking right?"

He rolled his eyes, "Come on, Bella."

I held my breath as we stepped inside the cabin. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Granted I felt a heavy sense of nostalgia, but the memories that trickled back didn't leave me crippled on the ground.

I glanced around at the logged walls as musty windows. It looked like the place hadn't been cleaned in months, and the overwhelming smell of stale beer and cigarettes had me taking shallow breaths. I looked for the man who was meant to be living in this mess, but it took me a while to find his wheelchair amongst the clutter. Like the deteriorating walls and appliances around him, he was sitting and just being.

Rusty and unkempt he was in his chair watching the TV as if his life depended on it. He didn't flinch as the door clanged shut, and the only indication that he was even lucid was the repeated motion of him bringing the beer can to his lips.

"Hey Billy, look what the cat dragged in," Seth poked fun.

Billy grumbled as he kept his face to the TV. He swung back a can of beer, the exact type Charlie used to drink.

"You know Billy you shouldn't drink so much beer," I said, "Not good for the heart."

Billy's head swung around, "Bella?"

"The one and only," I smiled as I went over to him. I leaned down and enveloped him in a hug. I took in his scent which thankfully was not the same as Jacobs. It was instead the aged smell of a cigar and spices, something I'd imagine a grandfather to smell like.

"I've missed you," he said as he patted my hair, "Let me look at you."

I took a step back, and let him see the changes he'd missed over the past year. I know it was a horrible thing to do, but I dropped contact with the Black's and Clearwater's ever since Jacob's death. I already couldn't bare my own grief, but to see the grief of others? Surely I would have died that much sooner. So I stopped returning calls, stopped visiting, and erased numbers from my cell phone. I hoped that with my disconnection to my other family, I could disconnect myself from the pain. Look how that turned out.

"You're the spitting image of Charlie," he said.

_What, _"People always say I look like Renee."

"You just got her purty hair," Billy smiled softly, "But your face is all his."

"So what part of me is Bella," I laughed.

"Everything on the inside," he told me. "Seth, leave, so I can catch up with your sister."

I blushed at the title, I didn't really deserve it.

"Why are you blushing," Billy asked.

"I, um, I mean I feel kind of undeserved of the title," I admitted, "I haven't been here for a while."

"Psh, of course you're family Bells," Seth chuckled, "Plus, you deflowered his son it doesn't get more close than that."

"Seth," Billy warned.

"See ya for dinner Bella," he called as he left.

"God Bless Jenny," Billy whistled, "As for you young lady, why on earth would you be undeserved of the title?"

"I stopped talking to you guys," I said, "It was a horrid thing to do…but I ignored you."

"We all went through a hard time with…" he cleared his throat, "Jakes death."

"How are you doing," I picked up his wrinkling hand, "Seth says you've been having it really hard."

"Well it's never going to be easy," he shrugged, "but I'm working on it. Do you want a drink?"

"I can go get it myself," I said, "You haven't changed anything around have you?"

Billy eyed my skeptically, "Do you think I changed anything around?"

"You're such a sour puss," I laughed, "Want anything? I can put some tea on for you."

"Nah I'll take a beer," he answered.

I glared, "Tea it is."

Inside the kitchen I navigated myself perfectly as if I'd never left. I pulled cups from out of their cabinets, and set the iron kettle on the stove to boil. While I poured myself out some juice I spotted a picture on the counter. I put down the carton to go and look at it.

It was Jacob, grinning in all of his glory. My fingers brushed at the glass plate separating me from the actual picture. I set the juice down as the tears brimmed over my eyes. I took in his black hair and cinnamon skin, bright eyes and perfectly white, straight teeth, and realized just how much Seth looked like him. It was still unbelievable.

"I miss you so much," I whispered to the picture. But no matter how many times I whispered it he wouldn't hear me.

"So you're really back," a sharp voice came from behind me.

I turned around, surprised at another presence in the room, "Leah."

"You have a lot of nerve coming back here," she strode up to me, "So what happened, Hollywood turned you down? Or were they not paying enough?"

"Really Leah," I snorted, after everything I'd been through I was not taking this.

"Yes, really," she nodded, "what makes you think you're welcome here?"

"By the way your brother was asking me to come back I thought that was an invite," I replied.

"Well it wasn't," she spat, "So pack up your things and get the hell out."

"As much as you like to think it does, the world doesn't revolve around you Leah. If Billy wants me here I'll stay," I told her.

"You're just hurting him," she responded, "Because when you finally do leave he'll be crushed."

"Billy has to know I'm not staying here forever," I said, "I'm just leaving on better terms this time."

"You mean you can leave with a better conscience," Leah scoffed.

"What is wrong with you," I asked.

"You are, bitch," she seethed, "Get out of this house. And put…put his picture down."

I glanced at Jacob's clenched picture in my hand and realized with a saddened heart why Leah was worse than normal.

"You loved him too," I said.

"Get out, Bella," Leah commanded.

I put down the picture, and did something that I didn't expect myself to do. I pulled Leah to me and wrapped my arms around her torso. She fought at first, but eventually returned the hug, releasing her tears and anguish in my arms. I realized that Leah, like me, had not grieved properly for our losses. So for her sake and mine, I hoped that while I was here we would begin to heal.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	26. Chapter 26

You and Me: Chapter 26  
"_And all other people __and I don't know why"_

_**Edward, **_

My eyes glazed over the first line of the letter. I still couldn't believe it. I half expected to walk outside of my room and see Bella rushing to the kitchen in her towel trying to check on something in the oven. But she wasn't going to because Bella was gone. And it was my fault apparently.

_**Edward, **_

Did I want to read this? I mean I was sure this would answer a lot of questions I had accumulated over the past two weeks of her being gone, but it would also give me the answer to things I didn't want to know. I had tried to keep Bella out of my mind for the past two weeks, and was hardly succeeding. I tried to act like I wasn't affected by her leaving, that I couldn't care less about what she wanted to do with her life because she had left us. And it worked for the first few days…I had actually fooled myself into thinking that I could go back to the way things were. Then it would be the smallest things that would cause me to stop like pouring cereal into a pot, or going to knock on her door. I hadn't really gone into her room since she left. I knew I'd be faced with our hand prints staring at me and forming into an eschewing middle finger. Was I going to have to paint over it? Somehow I knew that wasn't going to help. I could try and cover up what I didn't want to see, but I'd always know it was lying underneath, every incriminating fingerprint.

_**Edward, **_

How was this my fault? Bella couldn't take the fact that I wasn't in love with her so she runs away? Did nobody else think this was slightly childish? I could understand Alice being upset because she's infatuated with the idea of me being in love with Bella, but the others… I thought they had a little more sense than that.

I groaned and leaned my head on my knees, the fluttering of the letter in my hand reminding me it was there.

_**Edward, **_

And just who does Alice think she is? Of course I'm going to miss what's gone because I love Bella as a friend…as family and I'd miss anyone of my family members going away. Just like how I'd miss her if she decided to move all the way back to Forks. I mean I treated Bella like she was a sister, and they're acting as if I made her out to be my lover. I did everything with her that I would do with Alice, tell her secrets, hug her, kiss her forehead…kiss her neck.

OK, so maybe I did like her a bit. She was admittedly funny, and witty, and was stubborn as hell. Bella also made the best food, and food was the key to any man's insides.

_**Edward, **_

And Bella was hot. That didn't mean I was head over heels for her. Bella was hot, but Victoria was _sexy. _Even though Victoria was kind of a stick in the mud sometimes…or a stick up somewhere else, but at least Victoria and I never fought. Bella and I were almost always bickering over the stupidest things like what channel to watch or which hand soap scent to buy (she claimed that anything flowery gave her an overwhelming frolicking feel that she didn't like, and I tried explaining that fruity soaps were for girls hands to which she said that flowers were girly –but more men had freesias on their hands then marvelous mango, anyways, I think the points been gotten) and I often found myself flustered with her.

_**Edward, **_

Ugh this is no use. I had to answer to Victoria's text _sometime. _Don't get me wrong, I really liked her, it was just that she didn't even seem to care that I was distraught over Bella's leaving. It could be a jealousy thing… or it could be the fact the Victoria and Bella never got along.

_Hey Vick :o) _

My phone vibrated almost immediately.

_**I IM'd you about fifteen minutes ago, where are you? **_

I nearly snorted at the difference between Bella's texts and Victoria's texts. Victoria was always so proper in the way that she type whereas Bella's messages were normally illegible. I guess my typing style was closer to Bella's, but at Victoria's request I typed properly on the full keyboard.

_Sorry, my phone wasn't with me. What's up? _

Never one for hesitating, her text came back in under the minute,

_**I was wondering if you wanted to catch dinner this weekend. Are you available?  
**__You're only free on the weekend? _I sent.  
_**I wasn't aware you wanted to see me sooner, **_she replied.  
…_I like seeing you in general, I didn't know I had to ask.  
__**Oh, well that's sweet, Edward I have to go, I'll see you this weekend ok?  
**__Ok, _I typed back.  
_**Bye,  
**__Bye Victoria._

"Well that went well," I sighed and flopped back on the ground, "Great, now I'm talking to myself."

"Daddy," Auden walked into the room, "Daddy."

"Sure, bud, you can come in," I rolled my eyes, "You know Auden, you should really knock before you come in because Daddy could be-"

Doing what? Having sex with your girlfriend? I'd probably have to ask her first,

"What's up," I sighed.

"Where's Bell," he asked for the umpteenth time.

And for the umpteenth time I answered, "On vacation."

"Why," Auden asked.

"Because," I said, "She wanted to go on vacation."

He grumbled something along the lines of 'when is she coming back.'

"I don't know bud," I pulled him into my arms, "But I'm sure she misses you."

Auden frowned, "Was I bad," he asked.

I raised a brow, "Why would you say that Auden?"

"Because Bell left," he explained, "Was I bad?"

"No," I pressed a kiss to his forehead, "You're my nicest, best son ever."

Granted you're my only son, but I don't need to add that.

"Bestest?" Auden checked.

I couldn't help but laugh, "Yah Auden," I chuckled, "the bestest."

**Bella's Point of View**

I'd been here for three weeks and I couldn't take the stench of beer anymore. I didn't know how I'd taken it sleeping on this blasted, rotting couch for so long, but today I was going to put an end to it. Billy and his house needed a new start.

"Billy, you're going out," I told the man who was half dosing half paying attention to the TV, "Enough watching the traveling station and do a bit of traveling."

"And just where," he grumbled, "pray tell, am I'm traveling to."

"Sue Clearwater's house," I replied, "because Leah and I are going to clean out your house."

"No you're not," he said, "I like it."

"No you don't, you just like being lazy," I shut off the TV, "Now I promise not to throw away anything important, but some stuff has _got _to go."

"Why are you doing this all of a sudden," Billy asked, "you don't need to."

"Jake's anniversary is coming up tomorrow, and you need a fresh start. So later we're going to sort his room," I said, "and I _want _to."

Billy's face mirrored carved stoned, "I can't go through his room, Bella. I don't know what'll happen to me."

I picked up his stiff hand, "You've already felt the pain of losing him, nothing else can feel worse. Plus, I'll be there right with you crying."

Billy nodded, "Alright, alright. Wheel me to Sue's. Maybe I can even get a nice hair cut."

"Atta boy," I smiled and hefted the wheel chair over the threshold, "Maybe you could lose some weight too."

"That tongue is all yours too," Billy grumbled, "Neither Charlie or Renee was as sharp as you."

"Got it all from Jacob," I chuckled, "And he learned from the master."

The cold wind of La Push gnawed at my nose as I pushed Billy over to the Clearwater's. I eyed the place I'd gotten familiar with over the past few weeks. The rocks hardly fazed me as I ran or walked across them, and I'd finally gotten used to everyone in the community knowing my name even though I'd never formally met them. I had to remind myself that I had been somewhat of a celebrity, so the younger generation was bound to know who I was.

Billy on the other hand had seen nothing of my performances. A normal to the traveling channel, he never heard any mainstream news and didn't like to partake in any juicy gossiping of the celebrities. Leah on the other hand asked me constant questions about celebrities I'd met or places in Hollywood. She and I had made somewhat of a bond over the past few weeks. We shared tears and stories, bitter words and apologies, and our witty crassness seemed to be balanced when we were together. Leah still had the intimidation to make a grown man cry, but I'd learned, just like I had with Rosalie that there were always two sides to a person.

With the mention of her name comes the pang of sadness. I missed the Cullens dreadfully. I missed the way Emmett would swing open the door too loud and Rosalie would slap him upside the head. Or the way Alice would tackle me with a hug at the most inappropriate times and Jasper would have to peel her off. And I longed for one of my 'SpongeBob eat popsicles until your tongue grows blue' sessions with Auden at odd hours of the night. And Edward…I just missed Edward. I wondered if they even missed me, or whether they despised me for leaving. I'd understand if Auden hated me for sure. I had just promised to be his best friend, and in less than 24 hours I left without saying goodbye.

"Bella," Billy said, "In order for them to know we're here, you have to knock. I don't know how they did it in Hollywood, but this requires moving."

"And you wonder where I got my tongue from," I rolled my eyes before rapping my knuckles against the wooden door.

"Well if it isn't the hermit outside of his shell," Sue smiled as she leaned down to kiss Billy's cheek. I could have sworn I saw Billy blush, "Hello Bella. You coming in?"

"Oh no, I was just dropping off Billy," I returned the smile, "If you don't mind could you send Leah in?"

"Of course," she said as she wheeled Billy inside, "Leah!"

"I'm right here," Leah wore the usual scowl on her face as she came out of the kitchen, "This house isn't even 1 squared centimeter you don't need to shout."

Sue rolled her eyes, more than used to her daughters antics, "Have fun you two."

"Whatever," Leah replied as she began walking ahead of me.

"Hey, Sue, how about a little loving," Billy chuckled as I walked away from the house.

"Behave yourself you old dog," I called, "See ya!"

"I swear for a fifty year old man he's sure got game," I chuckled as I fell in step with Leah.

"And she just eats it up," she rolled her eyes.

"It bothers you doesn't it," I asked her.

"A bit," she shrugged, "But I know Billy would take care of her. Well, as much as a man in a wheel chair can take care of her."

"I wouldn't be judging Billy's capabilities," I shook my head, "he's sure got a lot of spunk in him."

Leah smirked, "Enough to pass down a generation and then some."

"I always used to tell Jake he was way too much like his father," I snorted.

"What did he say?" she asked.

"That I was way too much like a grandma," I rolled my eyes, "but that's Jake for you."

She actually chuckled, "He used to say that when my mom took a pregnancy test it came out blue because I was so unpleasant."

I laughed at this, "What did you say to that?"

"Nothing," Leah shrugged, "I broke his nose."

"So _that _was the argument," I continued laughing, "Come on, we have a few thing to do."

Leah and I worked meticulously through the heaps and towers of trash and hoarded belongings. Anything that could hold even the slightest or remote amount of meaning I put it in its place and made sure to ask Billy about it later. We cleared through the dishes and swept out the rooms (with a purchased broom because God forbid Billy owned a cleaning material) until the floor wasn't covered with a thin membrane of dust. On all things not Jacob Billy was a pretty open guy, so I didn't think he'd mind if Leah and I cleared things in his room. After all there wasn't anything really personal in there. Besides a few pictures of him and Jacob or him and Jacob's deceased mother there was only clothes and fishing knickknacks.

I made sure to hide the beer so that I would only be able to monitor how much Billy was taking in a day. Leah laughed at my antics, telling me that nothing could stand between Billy and his beer. She told me how Seth had once tried to get him to go to an AA meeting and Billy had responded by keeping a shotgun near his chair for when Seth tried to get inside the house.

"He acts like he hates him," Leah chuckled, "but I know Seth is helping with the void Jacob left behind. And it's nice that Seth has some sort of father figure to look up to."

"Yah, Billy has always been the closest thing to a father for me since Charlie died," I said, "He knows just how to handle us."

"You should of heard Billy bust his cap when Seth told him he was engaged," Leah said, "Had this whole elaborate talk about sex and respecting women. Seth's eyes were wider than the wheels on Billy's chair after that."

"I got the sex talk from Jacob as awkward as that sounds," I told her, "I mean Renee had passed when I was too young to get it and so had Charlie. So Jake stepped in. It was very…odd."

"Did he give you any visuals," Leah waggled her brows.

I threw a pillow at her, "You raunchy girl. I bet you just want a description of his manly bits."

"Oh please," she scoffed, "I loved Jacob, but not in that way. Love, I mean, not loved."

"I know," I said, "I catch myself too with the whole past tense thing. Some things just carry on."

"You know," Leah said as she shoved a box onto the closet shelf, "You're the only person I talk so much about him to."

"You too," I agreed, "I think it's easier that we're in the same position. I can't feel like you pity me because that'd mean you pity yourself."

"Ugh, I hate that damn look people give me sometimes," she threw something a bit violently, "Poor Leah, no father. Poor Leah, no best friend…Poor Leah, stuck to take care of Billy."

"Poor Bella, an orphan," I joined in, "Poor Bella, breaks down crying in supermarkets."

"You think that's bad," she chuckled without humor, "what about running out of college lectures?"

"How about hyperventilating in a magazine interview," I tried.

"You win," she actually chuckled, "I read about that."

"Yah," I nodded, "So did the rest of America."

"In my opinion she was digging way too deep into your personal life," Leah pointed out.

"Try telling that to her during the interview," I huffed, "I think…I think we're done here."

Leah straightened up and surveyed the room, "It looks transformed."

I chuckled, "It looks like a room that humans can live in."

I held up my hand for a cliché high five. Leah rolled her eyes and left me hanging to go and get cups of water.

"So you're really going into Jakes room tonight," she called from the kitchen.

I glanced at the one doorknob we hadn't touched, "Yah. I'm planning on it. Did you want to…um, help us?"

"Nah," she returned with the glasses and handed me one. I nodded in thanks, "I don't think I could do that. Plus, I think it's something you and Billy need to do alone."

"Thanks," I said, "Are you going to that big campfire this weekend?"

"Are you going," she asked as she glugged at the contents of the cup.

"Well I'm flattered," I batted my lashes, "Yah I am. Seth wants me to sing a song a cappella."

"I'll see then," she shrugged before patting me on the shoulder, "Later Bella. Good luck with the room."

"What, no hug," I joked as she strode out the door.

I gave Billy a little bit more time to relax at Sue's house before bringing him back over. In the mean time, I prepared us dinner out of the newly cleaned and oddly spacious kitchen. It was back to the way it had been when I'd spend the night by Jake's and we'd stay up late talking while I baked. I could feel the hurt forming in my heart as I thought of it. Talking to Leah about him was much easier than thinking about him while I was alone. With Leah there was a casual air to the way we talked about him, but alone… alone I was left with the void and dreadful seriousness of it all. I never knew if I was getting better. I knew that now I was much farther than I had been when I was standing on the chapel's roof. But sometimes it still felt as if I would just topple over the edge of sanity like that night I was in Edward's back yard and pass out from the weight of it all.

I didn't know what was going to happen tonight. I didn't know if we'd actually reach past the threshold of Jacob's room or if we'd end up in the depths of it, brave and willing to conquer anything we came across. Tomorrow in itself was a different matter. It was odd how one date could affect you marginally. Technically there was no difference between today and tomorrow physically. Tomorrow would be cold and wet, the sea would be black, the skies would be grey, and the jagged shoreline would still remain. But to me, and many other hearts in this village, the sea would seem just a little red, the clouds would be crying and the faces of the cliffs would be frowning. The teeth of the shoreline would seem sharper, and be hated. They had taken away one of our own.

I made Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry as a little treat for Billy. I'd found the recipe stashed deep within a cupboard, and held onto it, knowing that even if Billy had forgotten it was there, he would be devastated to find it thrown away.

Around eight o'clock I picked him back from the Clearwater's. I passed a hand through his short black hair,

"What happened to the locks grandpa," I snickered.

"Told you I was cutting 'em off," Billy laughed, "I like this idea of change."

"Hm," I hummed, "Somehow I think Sue did a little bit more than cut your hair."

"A kind woman she is," he nodded, "Gave me a pep talk about taking on Jacob's room."

"So you're ready," I raised a brow, "You don't want to eat dinner first?"

"Nope," he shook his head, "I need the high from Sue pep talk…and gin. Plus, the worse this could do is kill me right?"

I rolled my eyes, "Don't be so dramatic."

I might have chastised him playfully, but inside my heart was thrumming. We both stared at the inanimate door, as if challenging it to harm us. I knew exactly what was behind that door; a blue bed, a couple of footballs, a closet full of old clothes, and a table full of picture frames. So why was I so scared to see what I already knew?

"Would you like to do the honors," Billy asked.

I wrapped my hand around the knob, the metal searing my flesh. I pushed open the door with shut eyes, and then finally, _finally _took a step inside.

The first thing I noticed was the smell of Jacob, wrapping around me, kissing me, and rooting me to the spot. Every sense of mine was heightened. Smell, Jacob's scent; sight, every small detail of his room; touch, the doorknob still gripped in my hand; taste, the taste of tears on my tongue; and hearing, Billy's sobs from behind me.

"Sh," my voice sounded odd, foreign and detached, "Billy don't cry."

"Thank you," his broken voice sounded, "Thank you for coming back Bella. Thank you for bringing me in here. I needed this."

"You're welcome," I whispered, "but I can't do this tonight. I think this is as far as I can go."

Billy nodded, "Bella, if you could do me a big favor. The last thing I'll ask of you I promise."

"I don't ever mind doing things for you," I shooed him off, "What do you need?"

"Just get my pills," he chuckled, "I have a horrible headache…and, if you could just help me into his bed. I'd like to spend my time in here."

"Sure Billy, anything," I said as I left to go and get him what he requested.

My hands were shaking as I searched for Billy's prescribed drugs. I pulled a water bottle from out of the fridge and took a moment to rest against the counter. It was exactly how I thought it would be, but the feelings were thankfully less. I was sure I would break down in tears from entering his room, so as I wiped away a few strays I was pleasantly surprised. I just hopped Billy felt better in the morning. He was being brave though, staying in Jacob's room for the night. I'd have to help him into and out of the bed because unlike his own room Jacob's didn't have rails for him. I returned to see Billy wheeled by the bed. I lay down the pill bottle and water and began to move Billy's legs out of the chair.

"You see why you need to lose weight," I joked as I shifted his weight onto me, "Gah Billy, you weigh a ton."

I expected to hear his laugh, but it didn't come. He must be a tired.

Finally, after much heaving and straining I hefted him onto the bed and got him tucked in. The table was in reach of him so whenever he was ready he could just lean over and grab the pills.

"Your father would say the same thing," he mused quietly, "He and your mother would be so proud of you Bella. I'm glad Jacob chose you."

I smiled, "Thank you," I pressed a kiss to his forehead, "Have a good night Billy."

"Nayeli, daughter" he whispered as he patted my hair.

"Love you too," I squeezed his hand and left the room.

As I lay on the couch my body emptied itself of tears and distress. Tomorrow would be a hard day, but at least I had the consolation of accomplishing a minor feat.

...

I knew today was different, but not for the reason I thought it would be. Instead of the dreary picture I'd painted before, outside was bright; too bright. My eyes throbbed at the rays, protesting at the large amounts of light being allowed into my receptors. I squinted, and viewed the world through my half vision. Sometimes I pretended that when I squinted, only half the responsibilities, distresses and troubles could penetrate through my lids. The image I could see was half reality, and the other half was the world seen distortedly through my eyelashes. But there was only so long that my eyes could stay squinted because eventually, the substance would filter through. And the realization that I had to go through another day of ups and downs had already seeped in. I stretched my limbs and waited for something. I didn't know what exactly, but I was waiting. With the other half of the world waiting on the outside of my eyelids, I stopped the ridiculous action and went to go and get Billy up.

I trailed to his room before remembering that he had slept in Jacob's. I changed my direction and headed for the room I'd run away from the night before. I knocked, and waited for Billy to answer. He didn't.

There was something I called the Fridge Scenario. The Fridge Scenario is when you go and check somewhere you checked just seconds earlier because you expect to find what you are looking for. We humans, no matter how intelligent we claim to be, find ourselves in this scenario quite often. You know when you come home from school, or work, (or your mother's couch), and you go to the fridge to see if there's anything you want to eat? And then, close the fridge realizing (with great disappointment and probably the thought '_there's never anything in this house to eat) _that there's nothing in there appealing to you? And _then, _you turn around, and look back in the fridge to see if something (magically) materialized in the second it took for you to turn back around? That, and anything like it, is the Fridge Scenario. I found myself in this very scenario when I looked into the kitchen for the third time to see if Billy was there.

"Billy?" I called, and knocked on the door.

Nothing…Maybe he's still sleeping?

I decided to give him a bit more time of sleep. Last night had been draining. Sitting down and clicking through the mundane channels I finally understood why Billy stayed on the traveling channel. It was probably the most exciting thing on.

At ten o'clock I thought it time to wake him up. He normally woke up much earlier, but I guess the night's events had its toll. I knocked on the door again.

"Billy, you awake?"

No reply.

Creaking the door open, I smiled when I saw his sleeping form still fully under the blankets. I snickered; he was cute sleeping. Billy is such a tender old man.

I shook his shoulder through the duvet, "Wake up, old guy, it's time for a new day."

He remained soundly, deep, deep, in sleep.

"Billy," I shook his shoulder, "Come on, don't let me get Seth."

I peeled back the blanket. His eyes were closed, so peaceful, so unaware, deep, deep, in sleep.

I touched his cheek, thinking that this would wake him up. It didn't, it wouldn't, it couldn't. I screamed. The answer as to what I had been waiting for was very apparent. Since I woke up, I had been anticipating an onslaught of numbness to bury me. Finally it did, luring me into its deceiving arms and cradling me in a ball. I let the limbs of the numbness wrap around and hush my hysteria. _Shh, _it whispered, stroking my eyelids with its heavy touch, and forcing them to shut. It rocked me as the world went black while Billy remained deep, deep, in sleep.

* * *

(Shout outs to: M-IsForMusic6 & Sam)

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	27. Chapter 27

You and Me: Chapter 27  
_"I can't keep my eyes off of you"_

As a child I used to dread mathematics, or anything number related. I would wail as the teacher would drag me to the hellish classroom, and sit me on the seat. Nothing could get me to use numbers; no bribe of candy, or consequence of time-out could get me to stay in that blasted chair and rattle complicated time tables. I didn't even want to count. But now, as I stared at the partially filled hole in the ground I continued counting, because it was the only thing holding me together.

_542, 543, 544,545,546,547, 548, 549_

I always used to marvel that Billy, although a citizen to a community that was so deeply rooted into anything ancestral, was Christian. I listened for the key words of the priest,

"Give him, o Lord, your peace and let your eternal light shine upon him,"

And once the words were said, the expected, "Let us go in the peace of the Lord," was answered by the congregation.

"Now let us join in the Lord's prayer,"

_Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. _

_Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven, _

_550, 551,552,553, 554,555,556, 557, _

The chorus of the prayer vibrated through the mourner's chests, swarming me with their concluding words. I was bathing in their breaths of sadness, and letting it all wash over me. I believed in God, as a matter of fact I strongly believed that one day Jesus was going to come back, and take those who believed to Heaven. But for something I knew I believed so profoundly in, it felt so far away. They were saying the Lord's prayer, but the only scriptural words in my head were,

_The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. _

But why was he taking so much away from me?

_558,559,560,561,562,563,564,565_

How am I to go in peace if my mind is so disturbed?

_566,567,568,569,570,571,572,573,574,575,576,577,578,_

"Bella," someone whispered, "Bella."

_579,580,581,582,583,584,585,586,587,588, _

"Bella," they repeated.

_589,590, _

The hand belonging to the voice tugged on my hand,

"What," I snapped.

"Come on," Leah urged. I kept my eyes trained on sealed hole.

I shook my head, "I meet you there."

I kept staring, refusing to blink as she walked away. I didn't want to make eye contact. I didn't want to see the grief mirrored in their eyes. The outline of the cement plate began to waver as my eyes filled with tears. It wasn't so much the grave in front of me so much as the grave next to it.

_I'm so sorry, Jacob, I should have taken better care of him,_

As if to punish myself, I trailed over to the grave, and sunk down on it. My world switched between the past and the present, pulling scenes from a year ago and meshing it to the scenes of now. Crying then, and still crying, I lay on Jacob's grave.

"You said you'd always be there for me," my palm met the headstone with a sharp slap, "and you left."

I could feel the stones grate into my skin, "Why did you leave?"

My voice grew until it reached an incoherent, babbling peak.

Arms wound around me and heaved me off of the ground. The sand of the headstone ground between our touching skins reminding me how similar we both were. It was these very grains that scratched at and wore down our skin, leaving us constantly scarred.

"Breathe," she ordered.

"Why," I bawled, "what's the point anymore."

"Because if anything," Leah cleared her throat, "If you can't do, or feel, or be anything else? You can breathe."

Once I finally got a grip of myself, Leah assisted me to the reception. I remained quiet, and only exchanged 'thank you's' and nods when required of me. I couldn't judge the feelings of the others around me, but for one thing I was sure. The Clearwater's were just as devastated as I was. Sue sat expressionless, her hand cradled in Leah's. Leah was stony, her face glued into a perfectly emotionless mask. I looked for Seth, and found him in the corner of the room in a heated discussion with the girl I knew was Jenny. Tears streamed down his and her eyes while their arms moved animatedly. Not wanting to see anymore, I shut my eyes.

I reopened my eyes to a dim lit room and a bed fit beneath my curves. I glanced around at the masculine accents in the room, and finally sat up. _Where was I? _I looked towards the desk near me and spotted the multiple pictures of the Clearwater's; one of Seth, one of Leah, one of Harry and one of Sue. I glanced up at the shelves and saw more pictures with some variation. There was one picture of Billy, one of Jacob, one of Jenny…and one of me.

I lifted a hand to my face, and realized there were a few plasters on my palm and fingers. I didn't remember cutting my hands, but then again I didn't remember most of the things that had happened over the past week since Billy's death. My memory was only good as far as the morning I found Billy in his bed. Nothing felt sure anymore. Everything was balancing precariously on the edge of my world, and I felt that if I even breathed too hard it would all topple over.

A knock sounded at the door,

"Come in," I said.

It seemed to take five minutes before Seth finally let himself in. I took in his expression and closed my eyes. Seth looked drawn and spent, twenty years older than the seventeen he really was. The thump of his shoes was almost a testimony to his exhaustion as he padded across the floor. I opened my eyes,

"Seth,"

No hi, no hello, no hey. Nothing seemed right to say,

He sighed and lay down on the bed next to me, "You're awake. Mom is spending the night by Leah to keep her company."

"What's wrong," I asked.

"Bella," his voice was void of animation, "why did you leave Forks?"

The question caught me off guard, "I, um, I wanted to start new."

"But what was wrong with Forks," he asked, "Why couldn't you have started new here?"

"There are too many memories there," I admitted, "to be honest there are too many here."

"So what you're just going to move every time you build too many memories," Seth said.

"Somehow I don't think this is about me," I rolled over to face him, "What happened?"

He rolled onto his back, shielding his face from me. I began to worry,

"Seth," I sat up.

"Jenny and I aren't getting married," his voice was choked and soft, "because she's trapped. I'm trapping her. She broke up with me."

"Oh Seth," I picked up his hand, "Why the hell would she tell you that today?"

"Billy's death gave her epiphany," he said bitterly, "Life should be spent as happily as it can. And she's not happy here with me."

"It's not the 'you' part," I sighed, "It's the Forks."

"I don't understand," Seth shook his head, "Leah feels the same way. The only reason she stayed here was for Billy. Now that he's gone there's nothing to hold her to here except Mom and me. And we could never tie her to here, just like how I can't tie Jenny here. So I have to let her go."

"It hurts," I murmured my mind straying to my split heart, one half belonging to Mike, and the other to Edward. I thought about the way I cried as I flew back to Washington. I remembered the way Seth held me and wanted to comfort him back. I lay my head on his chest, and pushed my hand through his hair, using my finger to massage his temple, "it physically hurts when someone let's you go."

"I don't know how I'm even handling this all Bella," he caught my gaze, "I wish I could feel something besides this constant thrum of pain."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

I've always heard that desperation can make you do things you would've never thought of doing before, but I'd never heard that expression used for grief. But now as I found myself in a situation I wouldn't even allow myself to imagine I knew it had to be the overwhelming sense of loss acting within the both of us. Because as Seth held my gaze and began to lean in I knew exactly what was going to happen. And I let him.

I felt his lips against mine, slow and unsure before he began to move quicker. I opened my mouth willingly and breathed in his sweet breath. His hand slid from my waist to my hips, causing me to hesitate,

"You're sixteen," I murmured.

"Seventeen," he corrected, "Eighteen in two months."

"Hmm," his lips met mine again, I sighed, "But,"

Seth's hands kneaded my lower back, his thumbs hovering right above my pelvis. With little effort, he moved me on top of him. I could feel my insides start to churn. Everything about this was wrong…but for once I was feeling wanted, and the way that Seth felt and looked like Jacob was probably the only comforting thing in my sphere at the moment. So I shut my eyes tightly, and focused on feeling.

His tongue slid against mine, coaxing it into his mouth and tickling it with his own. I let my lips encase his, and let my teeth scrape against them. The rumble from his chest moved from him to me, traveling through my ribs and down the pits of my stomach. The feeling, mixed with confusion and lust, gave me slight satisfaction. I was doing something right. I was making him feel _good. _

Fingers wandered under my shirt, and daringly stroked above my bra. Gaining bravery, he dipped them under the rim. Any remotely friendly line had been crossed at this point. My hands massaged at his stomach, holding on to everything and anything I could. A sound I hadn't heard from myself in a while echoed through the room. This was so wrong. But I was feeling too good to stop.

I peeled off his shirt and placed fevered kisses down his torso. I nipped at the skin and left arrow shaped hicks along it. Once at his belt buckle, I tugged to bring him closer to me. I could hear his sharp exhale of air.

"Bella," he murmured.

Articles of clothing were thrown to the bottom of the bed, littering the space around us. Bare bodies pressed together, our breaths mixed together from our labored pants. As we moved together, everything was so conflicting. The building tension was not only from what we were doing but from the thought that this was really happening. Someone I had considered as a brother was now pleasuring me. We were connected in the most intimate ways…how did we expect to go back to normal after this?

And then the fact was that this was being done out of pure desperation, not anything like love. Granted I loved Seth, but not in the way we were showing it. I loved… I loved two people and I'm having sex with neither of them. Little Seth…well not so little I guess. I was groaning and on this innocent boy like a whore! _Jeez Bella, you don't even know if he's had sex before. _Well, he certainly didn't seem inexperienced. I began to shake, my insides closing in. I needed more…I needed to feel good for a bit longer. Jacob had always finished before me, so with slight guilt I hoped that Seth would hold out for a bit more time.

As if I'd jinxed it, with one more movement he was gone. His body shuddered beneath mine as his breath stopped, and I paused completely. And every high that I had been feeling plummeted to the lowest of lows. Seth pulled out of me, and gently lay me beside him. I felt his lips press to my neck, my cheek, my eyes, and my lips. But I felt nothing.

"I'm sorry," he breathed into my ear, "Sorry, Bella."

"It's ok," I rolled away from him, "I'm fine."

I kept repeating these words to myself, convincing myself that I was ok. But as I closed my eyes I didn't know what I felt. And I didn't know if it should scare me or not.

The next morning I woke up to an empty and cold bed. I guess that was expected, Sue would kill me if….if she knew I slept with Seth. I groaned and rolled over. _Leah _would kill me if she knew I slept with Seth. But I knew I had to tell her, even if it would make her hate me. I rolled back onto my back, unsettled and my body feeling heavier than normal. I lifted my head, then immediately placed it back down on the pillow. It was too weighted. I'd never be able to leave this bed.

The hours passed without incident. I lay in the bad and drifted in and out of sleep, sometimes out of tiredness, and other times out of boredom. I was not hungry, and I was not in pain, but I also was not going to get out of this bed. Sometimes I watched the analog tick, and sometimes I watched the fan rotate; anything to keep my eyes from the glaring pictures beside me.

It was dark before I heard the front door open, and another hour before Seth's door was creaking open. I watched Leah enter the room, but avoided her gaze. I wanted to feel the wave of shame drown me, and the current of guilt drag me further under. But there wasn't anything to feel. All I could do was stare blankly at the wall behind her, and wait for her to reach the bed, lie down and gaze at the ceiling.

"I slept with Seth," I said point blank.

All I could do was hear her heavy breathing. It didn't even stutter.

"Did you hear me," I said a little louder, "I slept with Seth."

Leah's fingers drew lazy patters on the skin of her stomach. I would have thought her fingers would be locked around my neck. Instead she just ignored me. I was almost questioning whether I had said something or not. But I wanted –no, needed her to know. And my body, doing what it needed to do, spit it up like vomit.

"Leah," I repeated, "I slept with Seth. I had sex with your brother. In this room, on this bed, where we're laying-"

"Ok, enough," she said, "I heard you the first time. I already know what you two did Bella."

It was my turn to be silent. Leah continued, "Seth told us of course. He can't keep secrets from us."

I shut my eyes, "I'm really sorry."

I could feel Leah shift a bit uncomfortably, "I, um, just wanted to check up on you. Do you need anything?"

I left my eyes clothes, not wanting to face the look of disappointment in her face. I might have been able to handle the anger better. I remained silent, I didn't need anything. I didn't deserve anything.

"Have you been in bed all day," she asked.

I nodded.

"You should go, and take a shower. You smell horrible," she commented, "I'll come and check on you later."

It's funny how you never notice something until someone points it out. It was almost as if the mention of the stench created it. I winced at the smell, and shifted my legs to the end of the bed. Maybe it would help to take a shower. Maybe the hot water would stimulate the nerves in me and cause me to feel something… feel _anything. _

My hands wound around the metal tap and twisted it so that the tap was blasting steaming hot water. I flinched as the searing droplets pounded against my skin. My clothes matted to me, reminding me how stupid it was for me to be in the shower with clothes on. But as I leaned against the wall of the bathing cubicle I didn't really care. Every hot bead of water trailed down my cheek and was absorbed by my clothes. _This isn't enough, _the words snaked through my head like the slithering streams of water escaping down the drain.

I spotted an object on the shower rack, and for the first time today I felt something stir inside of me. The same feeling (anxiety?) gripped at my stomach as my fingers disabled the small utility. _You made a promise. _Well I had tried to make a promise. My hand shook as I held it in the regular place. I braced myself to feel the pain; the self-inflicted _relieving _pain.

Fate has a cruel way of playing itself out. When you try and stay up, its large hand pushes back at you, giving you small warnings that you're out of place. When you stay down, it sends some deceiving sign that you should stand up again and try your hardest to fight. The worst is that fate can sometimes give you exactly what you want. Don't tempt it, because when you least expect it fate has a way punishing you. Now, as I had originally tried to inflict pain upon myself, fate was taking action. Because I said I had wanted pain, and that's exactly what it gave me. Just not in the way I had interpreted.

With a mighty hand, fate swooped my feet from beneath me, and made me slip on the slick tiled floor, my forehead smacking violently against the tile wall. The razor that had once been positioned at my hip took flight and aimed at my forearm, striking it head on. The pain that I received was far from relieving. Every emotion I had tried to summon up came with a force, expanding within my chest and creating so much pressure that the reaction was a scream. In this one breath, I was able to let out every pain and thought that I had accumulated over the past few days._ Jacob, Billy, Edward, Mike, Seth…_although my lips didn't form the right shape to make these names it was still somehow translated in the mass of sound.

And I tried. I really did try to fight against the stupor that was clouding its way over me. Unlike the night I had gone into shock, my body wasn't protesting violently. Instead as I reached to get out of the shower, an almost lethargic state came over me, dragging me into its hold. This was it. I had tested fate, and it was taking me down. It was only a matter of seconds now and it would work. Without any energy to do anything I accepted the fact that this time, I might not get out of it. So I waited, and waited, and shut my eyes and waited…

_591…592…593…594…595…596…597…598…599…_

600.

**Edward's Point of View **

I threw articles of clothing into the bag, not caring whether they matched or were even clean. I plucked out a few of the underwear…ok maybe I did care if they were clean. I scrambled to my laptop, needing to sort out the most essential thing. My nerves resembled the crushed heap that Victoria had balled her napkin into. Just the knock sounding at the door sent me a foot into the air.

"Alice," I breathed, "Thank God you're here."

"What happened," she looked in disarray. I was starting to wonder where she had been previously, "Edward."

"Hold on," I clicked into a browser.

"Edward," Alice growled, "I flipping left Jasper for this. You had better tell me what happened."

"Alright," I turned as I waited for it to load, "Sit down. I'll tell you everything."

_ I watched Victoria strut to the car. Her thin form was wrapped in a tight, black dress, and the muscles of her small, toned thighs were visible because of the lethal heels she was wearing. As she opened the door, and slipped in gracefully I was met with her cloud of perfume. It smelled nice, and thankfully drowned out the smell of the cologne she bought me. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't like it. So I wore it only when we went out. _

"_Hello," she smiled. It was a perfect smile; perfect teeth, perfect lips, and perfect little dimples. _

"_Hey," I leaned in for a kiss, she backed away. _

"_Oh no honey, I just applied," she motioned to the lipstick, "after dinner?" _

_I shrugged, and pulled out of the driveway sharply. _

"_Slow down," she murmured as we entered the freeway. _

_ I rolled my eyes and continued. Vicky always commented on my driving. I mean I know I drove faster than some, but it wasn't OVER the speed limit. Bella always –well used to anyways -commented on my driving too. But for some reason it just annoyed me more when Victoria did it. Maybe because I knew Bella was partially joking. _

_We pulled up to the high end restaurant (I couldn't believe I had to wear slacks in broad daylight) and I jogged around the car to open the door for her. Of course she'd already gotten out. _

"_Eddie you don't have to open the door for me," she reminded me, "It makes you seem like a chauffeur." _

Alice laughed, "Way to kill chivalry some more."

"I know," I sighed, "I felt like a classless baboon."

"You're a baboon Edward, but you're not classless," she snickered, "Go on."

"_I'm sorry if I wanted to do something nice," I murmured as we approached the door. _

_The room was quiet; too quiet. I could hear the clink of knives and forks and hushed tones of probably mundane conversation. Not a head turn to acknowledge our arrival. After all, only celebrities could afford eating here._

_The waiter held out our seats for us and presented us with menus. My eyes immediately went to the meat section, needing a good few ounces of substance. In the end I ordered the portabella mushrooms with steak, basmati rice, and golden-crusted zucchini. Victoria ordered an odd dish with something called Takoyaki with lemongrass. _

_I glanced at the plate, and my eyebrows automatically wrinkled in confusion, _

"What the hell is Takoyaki," Alice scrunched her nose.

"I'm getting there."

"_What is Takoyaki," I scrunched my nose. _

"_Don't make that face," she patted my leg, "It's Japanese." _

"_Ok," I said, "So what is it in English?" _

"_I don't know," she shrugged, "All I know is that it's octopus in a fried batter ball." _

_My stomach screamed, "Octopus?" _

"_Yes," she nodded, "Enough about my food though. How's Bella been?" _

"_I don't know," I said. _

"_You don't have to say it so tensely," Victoria raised a brow. _

"_Well I told you before that we're not in contact with each other," I replied. _

"_I'm sorry if I forgot," she flipped a red strand of hair over her shoulder, "Maybe that's for the best." _

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," Alice's voice was an octave too high.

"Alice,"

"Fine, sorry, go on," she huffed.

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean," my patience was quickly dissolving. _

"_Relax," she chastised me, "I'm just saying maybe her no longer having contact with you is for the best. I mean she was in love with you. Poor Michael was left heartbroken from her. She seemed a bit flighty to me to begin with."_

"_Mike is the one who broke up with her," I corrected, "And I don't think I'm liking where you're going with this." _

"_Why are you getting so defensive about this," Victoria's perfect eyebrows puckered just like her perfect lips. _

"_Bella is family to me," I told her, "and I don't appreciate anyone insulting family." _

"_Alright," she held her hands up in surrender, "I apologize." _

_From then on a one sided conversation was carried out by Victoria. I 'mhmed' and nodded in all the right places, while my mind began to wander to other places. _

"I'm starting to think that you called me over here for nothing," she picked up her purse, "I'm serious Edward-"

"Holy mother, Mary Alice would you just shut up and listen," I yelled.

A bit put out, Alice set down her purse and placed her hands on her legs, "Sorry. No more interruptions I promise."

"Ok," I eyed her, "No more. So as I was saying,"

_My mind began to wander to other places…most of which led to Bella, and wondering how, and what she was doing. I couldn't even enjoy my steak because I was comparing it to Bella's signature style. _

"_I was thinking of changing my model name from Victoria to Tori," Vicky said excitedly, "What do you think?" _

"Alice," I stopped, "I know that what you're about to say is probably along the lines of 'that's the only thing exciting in her life,' but you said no interrupting."

"Sorry," she tried to hide the smug smile off of her face, "Finish this up already."

_ I sat there, and all I could think about was how Tori didn't suit her. Nicknames in general were such a hard thing to pick. Because someone's original name might not fit them, and their nicknames could fit them worse or better. I honestly thought about whether or not Tori was a nice name for Victoria. And I thought about how Eddie didn't suit me, and how Rose suited Rosalie and then…how perfectly Bella fit Isabella. _

_ I looked up at Victoria and saw the smile on her face as she moved her fork to pick up a piece of steak on my plate. In that one little movement everything cleared; Victoria's smile was a little too perfect for me just like her perfect eyebrows, and perfect teeth, and perfect lips. It was all too faultless like the clothes she wore, or the dishes she ordered or the texts she sent. Everything about Victoria was just too perfect. And maybe not to someone else, but it was definitely too perfect for me. _

"_Eddie," Victoria tapped my thigh. _

"_I think," I took a deep breath; "I think that maybe we should see other people." _

_Her face slipped into a poised mask, "You're breaking up with me?" _

"_Well," I released the breath, feeling a lot lighter now that the words were out, "Yes." _

_She giggled, "That's funny." _

_I nearly choked on my water, "Funny?" _

"_Yah," she laughed again. I hadn't expected her to be devastated (I wasn't that vain) but I definitely didn't expect laughter, "that you're the one breaking up with me." _

"_You know Victoria," I leaned forward, and lowered my voice, "I'm starting to think that you're a bit full of yourself." _

"_I'm not full of myself, I'm confident," she shrugged, "and I have reason to be." _

_ The blanket that had been over my eyes was yanked away to reveal the harsh light I had been hiding from. I had finally found a flaw of hers. And once one was found, a million others started flowing in. _

"_That's it," I wiped my mouth with the napkin, and got up from the table. I left a few hundred's on at the counter, and stalked out. I could hear the piercing of her heals as she clopped behind me. _

"_You're not walking out and leaving me in a restaurant like some pathetic loner Eddie!" _

_ "It's Edward," I shouted, "My name is Edward, and I can't stand another moment with you. I can't take the fact that you eat off my plate. Order something that you actually understand what it means or keep your flipping hands to yourself. Not only that, but the overall dining experience with you is excruciating because you are boring as hell. I swore I saw the Lemongrass on your plate sprout a little in the time you were talking. And I hate that you text properly, and that you send goodbye texts. I mean who does that? If you are done talking just finish it for goodness sake. I hate that you ignore my child! What were you going to do if we got married send him off to boarding school? I might be immature, but I can fix that. You on the other hand are just fake, and I can't stand another damn second of it!" _

"_Fake," her volume matched mine. I almost laughed. This was the first time I'd ever seen her display an extreme emotion, "That's not true Edward and we both know that. You don't hate the fact that I'm 'fake', you hate the fact that I'm not Bella!" _

"_Exactly," I yelled back. _

"Yes!" Alice screamed. I watched her small form bounce up and down, pumping her fists all around her body. In one second she was suspended in the air before crashing into me. I met the floor with an audible thud. "Thank God of all Heaven. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

"Alice," I gasped as I tried to regain my breath. Her landing had completely winded me.

"Yes Edward," even if my eyes were closed I'd still know she was smiling just by the complete giddiness in her voice.

"I'm in love with Bella," I finally said. And it felt good as it jumped off my tongue and flew into the air, soaring to my ears and landing back into my head.

"I know," Alice smiled.

"Like in _love _Alice," I said, "As in 'I'm head over heels, wouldn't mind if she tied me down and waxed my legs' in love."

"I know," she giggled, "So what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to go get her," I pressed kisses to Alice's cheek. It was thanks to her (partially to Victoria) that I had seen the light. If she hadn't pressed, if she had questioned and pestered, if she hadn't crossed the fences I'd set up I wouldn't have come to this conclusion so quickly. Alice was right. Victoria was perfect, but Bella was perfect for me. And I had to tell her that; "I'm going to go get my girl."

* * *

(Shout out to: Lunarskky)

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	28. Chapter 28

You and Me: Chapter 28  
_"There's something about you now"_

It was almost eerie being back in Forks. I kept my hood positioned above my head as I exited the plane. Someone had approached me in the airport in Hollywood, and I didn't know if they would tip off a reporter as to where I was going. Forks was a small town; any spike in the population (spike being one person) and the whole town was alight with new gossip. After all the spiraling stories about the tour being canceled, and Mike having a black eye, Victoria and my break up (she couldn't wait to tell the media) I just couldn't take another camera. On top of that, Auden wasn't even with me so I was more on the edge than normal. Surely a celebrity could get one day of peace couldn't they? I snorted. I hoped no unfortunate reporter crossed my path because I was sure I would show no restraint.

I entered the half empty baggage claim area and kept my head down. Of course my bag had to come last. I dragged the small suitcase off of the conveyor belt and headed for the 'nothing to declare' line. I honestly didn't know how long I was going be here in Forks. I would stay for as long as it would take for Bella to accept me again. My heart pressed against my ribs,_ What if she wouldn't take me back? _She said that was the last time. Did my going after her count? I wasn't going to accept no. I mean she had to still be in love with me. No one falls out of love in one month…which means that if she really did love him she still had feelings for Mike. Or did she? I didn't know anything! I hadn't heard from her in three weeks six days and twelve hours, how was I supposed to know anything? Then it occurred to me that she had in fact left me with information…in the form of a letter.

I pulled the folded and worn piece of paper from out of my backpack and unfolded it. This was it. I was finally going to read the letter I had avoided for the past few weeks. I didn't know if this would clear things up, or muddy them even more. Somehow I couldn't help but feel I was going to be like the blind man who is restored vision and realizes the world is much too bright.

_Edward, _

_ I mean what can I say? I'm completely, and utterly conflicted. My mind is telling me that you don't deserve a letter, and that I should save my energy. It also told me to leave you a letter saying only 'Eddie you suck' but thought that'd be awfully immature. But my heart, thankfully something I've learned to start listening to, tells me that there is no reason to be angry with you. As a matter of fact I owe you. I owe you every smile I have, or every laugh I make because I was without them for so long before you gave them back. And I thought that I would never feel anything for anyone after Jacob died, but of course you changed that. You're always the one who defies. You defy the thought that single young fathers are unable to care for their children. You defy the stereotype that once in Hollywood fame is all that matters. And you defy the assumption that after life has dealt you a sour hand, you need to stay down. I know that what Tanya did to you hurt you (more than you let on), but you handle it so well. But in a way I think that is your flaw. You condense everything that is Tanya into one small box until it starts to spill out. In my time with you, and with the help of your family, I've learned that it's ok to talk about past hurts…even if you end up breaking a planter. I think I came to this conclusion a little too late though. _

_So this is the truth as to why I left Edward. Your rejection (damn it even feels horrible writing it) did play a large role in my decision, I can't lie, but it was also my visit from Seth. He had told me that I was needed back in La Push and reminded me that I have family there that I have obligations too. And then Mike and I broke up and I was just devastated. I know everyone's upset after a breakup, but Edward I was so distraught I didn't even know what to do with myself, and that's what scared me the most. I realized that ever since Jacob died, I've never know what to do with my grief. I've never dealt with it properly. I just let it consume me until I became numb. That's why I had to leave. I had to go back to the place where it all began, and fix me. _

_Hopefully, when I get better, and you forgive me for leaving, I can see you and Auden again? I'm going to miss him so much. I know…I know he's not my child, he's yours. But I love him, and no one has any right to doubt or question that. If he asks where I am, you can tell him that I'm sick and I had to go away to get better. And tell him that I love him, please? _

_As for you, I don't know where we stand. You'll always be family to me. That's not something I can forget. And I know you don't l- feel the same way I do, but there's nothing I can do to fix that. And Alice and I were wrong for forcing you. I truthfully wish you and Victoria a happy relationship._

_Love Yours Truly, _

_~Isabella Swan _

"Sir," someone tapped the paper, "Sir."

"Um yah," I sniffed.

"Are you ok?" the older woman asked.

I took in her elderly and familiar features. I soon found myself smiling, "Nessie?"

She popped her spectacles onto her face, "Good gracious Edward-"

"Sh," I stopped her, "no one can know I'm here."

"Right," she nodded, "Long time no see! What's got you looking funny honey? You look like a right mess. Why were you crying?"

I wiped at my eyes, "Everything's just gone downhill, and I don't know what to do-"

"Calm down, calm down," she hushed, "you can tell me all about it while I drive you where you need to go."

"It's ok," I said, "I don't want to put you out of your way. I was just going to grab a taxi to a hotel."

"A hotel my ass," she shooed me off, "You're coming home with me. Oh, Clara won't believe this."

"Clara?"

"My fourteen year old granddaughter," Nessie snickered, "she worships you. Don't worry though, she'll keep her mouth shut. I'm sure she'd do anything to make you happy. I tell you I can't get her to stop singing those damn songs of yours. Just what kind of song is 'Deep down and dirty?' _Your hips sway in a circle rotation, but I'd rather die than be sucked into your damnation._"

I chuckled as Nessie dragged me to her red pickup, and continued to babble about her granddaughter. From the sound of her she was really the character. I was starting to think that she was a lot like her grandmother. This made me suspicious as to what the mother was like.

I was really touched that Nessie had invited me to stay in her home when she barely knew me. It was such a coincidence that we'd been at the airport at the same time. When I had asked she'd told me that she had gone to Texas to visit a relative. This then spurred more conversation on her half, allowing me to lay back and just listen. I realized now how impaired Victoria was in the conversation department. Even when the conversation was one sided, it came off as self-centered, and boastful. But as Nessie continued telling every detail about herself and her family all I could do was smile. With a dull thought I also realized that this was how it was with Bella. Her constant babbling allowed me to slip into a peaceful stillness. I loved the way she chattered about anything, and even turned the smallest thoughts into a fully fledged epistle. Granted sometimes she never shut up, but that was ok. I was missing that nattering more than anything.

"Why so down glum baby plum?"

I rolled my eyes at the endearing term. It seemed as if all of them had to rhyme, "It's not much really."

"After the way you were all flustered about Bella I'm sure it's not nothing," she eyed me, "So she really went back to Holly land with you didn't she?"

I nodded, "Was there for six months and in that time stirred up my life."

"Is that a bad or good thing," Nessie asked.

"A great thing," I said, "A beautiful thing."

"Shucks, you're practically drooling," she cooed, "skip to the part where you fall in love."

I laughed, "Well I did, but it was too late. Bella told me she loved me and I let her walk out."

"Why on Earth would you do that?"

_Because I am an ass head, _

"I have abandonment issues," I grumbled.

"Don't we all," she murmured, "So you screwed up, that's basically what you're saying."

"Yes Nessie," I sighed, "I screwed up."

"How are you going to fix it?"

I groaned, "I have no clue."

"That's not good enough," she clucked her tongue.

"Got any suggestions," I asked.

Nessie shook her head, "On the bright side you can't make yourself seem anymore like an ass."

I glared at her as we pulled into a driveway.

"Nessie, you sure know how to make a man feel better," I shook my head.

We pulled up to a large house fully set with side lawns a fountain, and a structure that made you want to stop and stare. I knew I shouldn't judge, but from where Nessie worked I had just assumed she'd live in an apartment, or at least small house. I guess I was proved wrong.

I felt slightly out of place as I entered the main hall. I kept my suitcase clenched in my hand, not wanting to scuff the wooden floor. I glanced around, taking in each artifact and memory decorating the tables. I thought back to my own house, and thought of the things that were homey. Besides the few pictures we had laying in Auden and mine's room, there was nothing that made the house seem lived in. The only part I could think of was Bella's room.

"Shut the door Edward, you're letting a draft in," Nessie clucked.

My mind back in place, I reached behind me and shut the door.

"Grandma?" I heard from up stairs. I could hear footsteps padding down the stairs, "I need help with my math…Oh my-"

"Clara Jenkins I don't like hearing the Lord's name used in vain," Nessie warned, "Now shut your mouth and come meet Edward properly."

All I could see was the flash of black locks as the young girl flew down the stairs. She stopped inches away from me, at height with my abdomen.

I reached out my hand, "Very nice to meet you Clara."

"Hi Mr. Cullen," she stuttered.

"Please just call me Edward," I picked up her frozen hand at her side, "Mr. Cullen's my father."

"Edward," he cheeks lit like flames.

"Alright, I think that's enough raging hormones for now," Nessie plucked Clara's hand away from mine.

"Grandma," she hissed.

Nessie laughed, "Like he hasn't seen it all and more. You two come and set the table."

As we lay down the eating utensils on the table I asked Clara about her school life, and in return she asked me about Hollywood life. I laughed about some of the things she inquired.

"Is it true that you're going to marry Victoria De Vogue?"

I coughed on my air, "Where did you hear that?"

"It's in Tween-a-zeen Magazine," she said.

"Do you want to know the truth," I asked.

Clara's eyes widened to the size of the plates she was holding, "I promise I won't tell anyone."

Somehow I knew that she wouldn't, "Ok," I leaned in as if I was telling the biggest secret, "Victoria and I broke up."

Clara gasped, "No."

I nodded, "Yes."

"Why," she asked.

"We just weren't compatible anymore," I shrugged, "Besides, she's quite boring."

"Really," Clara giggled, "Wow, I can't believe it. You just stopped liking each other?"

"Well," I stopped myself.

"Well," she pressed.

"There's someone else," I hinted.

She dropped the knife in her hand. I could hear Nessie snicker behind us.

"For her or for you," Clara questioned.

"Me," I answered.

"Tell me already!" she squealed.

I loved how interested she was in my life. It was flattering.

"Take a guess," I played, "Start's with-"

"You're in love with Bella Swan?" a wide smile broke across Clara's face, "No way!"

"Yes way," I said, "I'm hopelessly and utterly in love with Isabella Swan. And I have no idea where she is."

"No clue?"

"I know she's in Forks," I corrected, "I just don't know where."

"You don't know where she is," Nessie raised a brow, "Dear Heavens Edward, why didn't you say something?"

"Nessie," I said, "You know where Bella is?

"Of course," Nessie replied, "She called me a few weeks ago."

"Where is she then," I prompted.

"Edward," she warned, "I understand that you're eager, but I don't want you harassing her."

"I just want to talk to her," I said, "Where is she?"

Nessie sighed and leaned to reach into her purse, "It's on my phone."

I watched as Nessie flicked through her phone, and followed her squinted eyes as she looked at the screen. I was tensed, and yet excited as she searched. All I could do was think about what I would say to Bella. I'd have to make sure the first words out of my mouth were 'I love you.' Anything else that came after that was completely irrelevant…as long as I got to hear her voice.

I saw Nessie's eyebrows pull down, and wondered what was causing the action. She moved her phone to her ear, and cocked her hip to the side as she waited for something. It was in one second that her expression changed that I knew something was wrong. Nessie's hand shook as she placed down her cell phone.

"We need to leave, now," Nessie's voice shook as she fumbled for her car keys, "I just got a voicemail and something's happened."

"What," I could feel my heart roll towards and balance precariously on a cliff.

"It's Bella," Nessie took a moment pull in a short breath, "Bella's in the hospital."

And then it plummeted.

**Bella's Point of View **

I always imagined that dying would be a definite experience; that there couldn't possibly be any confusion in passing away. Mom had gone to heaven, Dad had gone to heaven, Jacob had gone to heaven, and I was positive that Billy went to heaven. I assumed, given my faith, that I would conclude my life in the same way as my family members. But as I waited in an endless limbo, I began to question what it was I believed in. I'd been promised eternal paradise instead of damnation, not eternal in between.

The walls around me were white, as were the chairs that I found myself sitting on. I got up and began pacing around. I was in a vast land of whiteness with no lines, no contours and no colors; endless and continuing, like looking out at a sea that went on for days. I took a breath and waited for some pain to come, but I was left with nothing. All that was felt was hollowness, and despair, and the feeling of being disgustingly alone.

"Bella,"

I jumped, "Edward."

I spun around in circles. Surely I would notice him if he was here right? Or rather, surely he would notice me.

"Oh God, please, wake up," he cried, "Bella wake up."

"I'm awake," I yelled. Obviously I'm awake, I'm answering him, "Edward, I'm awake!"

"No you're not,"

My heart dropped to the pits of my stomach. The voice I had expected was nowhere near to the one that I'd heard. I expected Edward's smooth, velvety, tone instead of the boyish one that I had received. If I had been wondering where I was before, I was more than desperate to find out my location now. None of this could be real. I had to be dead, or in a cruel dream.

I turned around. Black spiked hair, warm skin, luscious lips, bright eyes, white teeth, toned muscles, firm stomach, sharp nose, towering height…it was him, perfectly.

I gasped, "J-Jacob."

"Hey Bells," he smiled, "So are you going to hug me or what?"

What would have taken seconds to travel took me no time. I appeared in front of him, defying time. I wrapped my arms around him and choked out breaths. "Jacob."

"Say something else," I could hear the annoyance in his voice.

"A-am I dead?"

He laughed, "Hell no. Oops, I mean, Heavens no. But you're not alive."

"Somehow that answer wasn't as comforting as I thought it would be," I let out a strained laugh. "Is this really you?"

"No I'm Al Capone," he rolled his eyes, "Of course it's me Bella."

"You're dead," I said.

"I don't really need reminding," he scowled, "but yes I am dead."

"I'm missing something," I rubbed at my head, "This isn't real…"

"Oh it is," he snickered, "you're in a coma, and I'm here for an intervention."

"Intervention," I rose a brow.

"Bella," he mirrored my look, "You have to know what I'm intervening."

"No I don't," I scoffed, "Stop being so evasive and tell me what is going on."

"You tell me," Jacob said, "How did you end up here?"

"I fell in the shower," I told him. I looked down at myself, "In these exact clothes if you want to be precise."

"Still a smartass through everything," he chuckled, "but you didn't just fall."

"I slipped," I said, "holding a razor blade."

"Somehow I don't think you were shaving," he guessed.

My cheeks heated, "Great, even in purgatory I blush."

"It's still beautiful," Jacob's colder than normal hand brushed against my cheek.

I closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his hand no matter how frigid it was, "I miss you more than you can ever know."

"I do know," His forehead rested against mine, "I want this to last forever."

"It can," I whispered, "I can stay here, and it can just be you and me like it always was."

"What about Edward," he asked.

"He doesn't love me," the words hurt coming out of my mouth, but I was with Jake, and that had to make everything ok didn't it? "so I can stay."

"In a coma, forever," he raised a brow, "really?"

"I'm with you," I said, "doesn't that count?"

"You can't stay here forever," Jacob shook his head, "Or else you'll die. I refuse to do that to you."

"We'll see about that," I grumbled.

"I have to make sure you leave here," he sighed, "It's kind of my purpose."

"God sent you here?"

"Erm, I'm not really allowed to talk about that; it's part of the guidelines."

I snorted, "Guidelines?"

"Yes," he said, "speaking of which we're off topic. We need to talk about why you're here quickly because you don't have much time."

"How about," I wrapped my fingers in his, and sighed, "we forget about that for a bit, and catch up?"

"Bella-"

"Please Jake," I begged, "I haven't seen you in so long."

He closed his eyes for a moment before pulling my hair to his face, and taking a deep breath, "God I've missed you."

Jacob and I talked about everything under the nonexistent sun. He told me how he had watched me go through my grief and wanted more than anything to intervene, but wasn't allowed. He told me how he missed me, and how much he wanted to hold me one last time, even if it was for just a few seconds. There were aspects about what he said that didn't make sense to me, like if he was meant to be in heaven how was he here, or what heaven was like. But he couldn't answer them, and after a few times of asking I gave up. All I wanted to do was spend my time with Jacob wisely, and if that mean keeping unanswerable questions to a minimum than I was fine.

The concept of this was odd. I didn't know if it was my own subconscious piecing together things I knew about Jacob and creating a tangible character…or if I was really here. I could touch, and feel here, but it was unnecessary for me to breathe and if I jumped I could go miles high. At moments I raced circles around Jacob, laughing at my speed and invincibility. Then I'd remember that I was unconscious and I'd soon be waking up. Well, that's what Jacob would tell me.

He kept our fingers entwined as we strolled among the white. We weren't exactly going anywhere. Our feet moved for what seemed like hours and although it seemed like we were covering miles and miles of distance, we were always in the same spot…white after white. After what seemed like endless days of talking I was truly confused.

"Ok, what is this," I laughed, "We've been walking in this direction for…"

"Six days," Jacob filled, "You've been unconscious for six days."

"That's unhealthy," I grumbled, "We've been walking for six days, and we're not going anywhere."

"You know Bella, this is your mind," he reminded me.

"You're joking right," my eyes widened, "Because if this is all I have in there-"

"Not your _brain. _Just your subconscious…or unconscious I don't know. What I'm saying is that you can change anything you want in here. Please do, the white is getting highly annoying."

"I don't remember you being this easily annoyed when you were alive, Jacob," I giggled, "So I just…think it?"

"It's not rocket science."

I glared, "Be careful or I might imagine a never ending hole for you to fall into."

He lifted his hands in defense, "Alright, alright."

I shut my eyes.

"That's really not necessary," Jacob informed me.

I pictured a bench; long, wooden, and sturdy for us to sit on. A row of large cherry blossom trees sat behind it, stretching into the distance and leaving trails of pink and white flowers on the white ground. I decided to change that too, adding a stone pathway along the row of trees. Above us a sky stretched about, and a sun materialized, using its arms of light to caress my cheeks and lift them into a smile; "Well would you look at that."

"It's beautiful Bells," Jacob smiled back at me.

"As fun as standing and looking at the bench is," I rolled my eyes and pulled us over to the seat. Jacob however wouldn't budge. I tried to meet his gaze with a questioning stare, but Jacob looked away from me.

My heart dropped as I realized. For the first time in this purgatory I had felt something, "I'm out of time aren't I," I said quietly.

"It's not up to me," he turned, and cupped my face between his freezing hands, "If it were up to me, I'd spend forever here with you."

I wanted to cry. I wanted him to see how much it pained me to have to let go of him again, but I couldn't. No tears would come.

"So this is it? This is the real goodbye?"

He nodded, "Promise me something, Bella."

"Anything,"

"You're not happy," he said, "and you haven't been happy for a while."

"Well Jacob, how can I be happy," I asked him, "How can I when Charlie's dead, Renee's dead, you're dead and Billy's dead. Billy's dead and it's my fault."

"But you're alive," he said. The weird thing was that if anyone else had said it, I probably would have laughed, or brushed it off. But as he said it, the words sunk in, and marinated. I am alive, and although it seems like I have nothing to live for, I still had a gift of life. _If anything you can always breathe, _"And you have people who love you, and are waiting for you to wake up. Besides dad…dad was in a lot of pain, and he decided to take his own life. He'd been thinking it for a while Bella, it's not your fault. He got to come with me. I promise you he's much happier now. You need to stop living in the past Bella. Grieve, get over it, and move on. Promise me you'll try."

I pressed my face to his hard chest, "Ok."

"Ok?" Jacob chuckled, "That's all it took?"

"You know I never got to say goodbye to you. It was just a phone call, a close of a casket and you were gone," I told him, "Now I get my proper closure. I think…I think when I wake up I can finally move on."

"Ouch," his laugh came out forced, "you don't have to forget me."

"I could never forget you," I said with conviction, "As long as you don't leave me again."

"Silly Bella," he rolled his eyes, Jake's signature. I felt his finger press above my left breast, touching where my silent heart was, "I was always there."

Memorizing everything I could about him, I locked the vision in place behind my closed eyes and leaned to kiss him. Our lips touched briefly, a loving and farewell kiss. And they touched again, savoring and taking in everything they could of each other. Every bow and arrow, and every crevice, and plain was taken into account. This was it. I had finally got to be with my Jacob again, and I was finally able to say goodbye.

"Tell them I miss them, and that Billy says he's sorry," Jacob rushed.

"I will," I stroked his cheek, "I love you Jake."

He pressed a firm kiss to my forehead, "I love you…but it's time for you to wake up. Wake up Bella,"

_Wake up…_

"Wake up," a hand was shaking mine, "Wake up Bell."

I lifted the twenty pound weights attached to my eyelids, and finally reentered the world. At the sight of the white hospital room, I almost began crying. But the odd thing was that I didn't feel like I'd be crying for grief, but rather for happiness. I had been granted something that many people were deprived of, and I had made a promise. One I was going to keep.

"Bell," the voice whispered before breaking into a cheer, "Bell!"

It was as if a sheer cloth was over my eyes, making it hard for me to see. And this same cloth was somehow making movement almost impossible, binding my muscles and keeping confined within my body. I could see the bandages, the tubes, the cast and the people, but it was much too hard for me to touch any of them. I could feel his small hand stroke against mine, and I wanted more than anything to hold onto it, but my fingers refused to move.

"Bell," he persisted, shaking my hand.

_Auden! _I tried to move my lips, but the stupor was weighing heavily on them, starting to drag me back under. _Peanut…I'm right here. I can hear you. _

"Talk," he shook my hand, "Bell, talk."

_I want to… I'm just so tired. _

...

_ I'm awake…_ I wanted to tell them, but my lips remained shut, and my eyes remained opened. The same stupor remained over me, causing my head to thrum, throb, and ache. I watched the sleeping bodies around the room, six of them. _Curvy, muscular, angular, small, tall, lean, _all were the shapes of my family. Even in the pitch dark I could identify each of them. A sliver of moonlight illuminated a slice of peculiarly bronze hair. I inhaled sharply. There, lying on a cot with Auden, was the very person I'd run away from. His features of course were exactly the same…perfectly chiseled, and yet soft. I could feel my eyes burn with unshed tears as every emotion I'd kept underneath climbed to the surface. My heart swelled in an uncomfortable, suffocating way, and I just wanted to get up and climb into his bed. I just wanted to feel his lips at my neck while his hand caressed my lower back. But how could I do this if I couldn't even move. And why would he do this if he didn't love me?

"Edward," I was barely able to mumble. I felt so heavy, "Ed-ward."

He stirred slightly, taking in one large breath and sighing it out. We were so close I could feel the ends of his air brushing my cheeks.

"Edward," I said a bit firmer.

I watched his eyelids flutter as he pulled them back effortlessly. My finger twitched as I itched to reach for him.

"Mm, Bella," he murmured before came to. "Bella?"

"Edward," my lips formed a smile, "Come here."

Edward climbed out of the cot, and made his way to my bedside. He pulled a chair up to my side quietly, and perched himself on the seat. He leaned his arms against the rails of my bed and rested his arms against them. I wanted more than anything to say something to him, but not only was I exhausted, but I was also struck dumb. Here he sat in all of his beauty, worn down and silent. I realized that he could very well be angry with me, and that he might not want to talk to me. We stayed in this position, watching each other for what seemed like an hour until he finally spoke.

"There are so many things I could say to you right now," Edward said slowly, "And I don't know if I'm angry, or scared, or just happy that I'm seeing you."

There was silence as he looked at me, as if expecting me to answer. My head was clouded with the pain of a headache.

"Say something," he begged.

"My head hurts," I mumbled.

This time as Edward's breath left him, I could feel the heavenly breeze blow completely across my face. I inhaled it, feeling like I could almost taste him. Along with the breath came the chuckle that I had been too long without. I shut my eyes, almost content enough to fall asleep again.

"Please," I felt the brush of his calloused fingertips on my arm. The one action lit my arm on fire, sending signals from the crown of my head to the base of my feet, warming me all over, "Don't leave me again."

"Edward," I repeated, gathering the strength to flip my hand over. The movement of muscles felt slightly foreign, and took too much effort. My fingers twitched as my open hand waited for his. Thankfully, he complied, and pushed his fingers between the cracks of mine, "I'm so tired."

"They had to put you under a lot," he mentioned so quietly, I almost wondered if I was supposed to hear it, "there was abundant swelling in your frontal lobe, and so they had to do a bit a surgery."

"Mm," I murmured for him to continue.

"They think it's the heavy dosage of drugs you've been given that kept you under," he went on, "but they didn't expect you to be unconscious for so long. Everyday we'd come in, and do anything to wake you up. Auden shook you, Emmett told jokes, Jasper and Alice sang, and Rosalie read you books. I wanted to talk to you…but it was just so painful. It took me a while. I couldn't be hear and hold your limp hand, or just talk without hearing a witty response. And as I sat there saying nothing, all I could do was think about you, and the things I missed."

"Did you know that you have this little snore you do in your sleep when your allergies act up, or that when you disagree with something, your nose turns up in the slightest bit, but not enough to be impolite? And you always say you put back the broken cookies because you don't want to make a mess, but secretly, I think you just like having the whole ones. You put two pairs of socks on when the weather's cold, which I think is utterly ridiculous, and when you're not making some kind of expression you smile unconsciously. When you sing about something you find passionate, you always look as if you could cry or burst out laughing at any moment. You can't draw, even though you like to think that you can, and the fruity hand soaps you buy make me feel as if I could crap a mango at any moment…"

I could feel my mind run around each thing he said, reverse, turn right and suddenly get lost. It all made no sense to me. I thought that there might be some connection these between all these aspects of me, but there wasn't any I could find.

"What I'm trying to say it that it's all these stupid little annoying things me that make me go crazy," Edward shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he was saying, "And I'm in love with all of these things, Bella. I'm in love with you."

"What?" I choked out.

Now of course I heard what I he had said, I mean you can't quite miss something like that. _I'm in love with you. _Even though the words were in perfect order they somehow didn't make sense to me.

_I'm=Edward. _

_In=currently._

_Love=have impossibly strong feelings for, want to kiss every second of every day, or be content with just staring at them. _

_With=not just one person, in needs to involve two. _

_You=Me. Bella. Isabella Swan. _

This equation wasn't adding up to me.

"I said that I'm in love with you," he repeated. His voice sounded confident, not wavering in the slightest bit.

I shook my head, "You're not."

"I do," he insisted, "Bella-"

"What, you're going to tell me that you were so blind before? That you loved me all along and that you finally see the light," I scoffed. It sounded odd coming through my masked nose, "You came to a moment of realization, and now you want us to be together?"

Edward shifted awkwardly, "I haven't loved you all along…but I know I love you now."

"Do you," I nodded, "Well then that's great."

"Why can't you just believe me," he asked.

"Maybe because it's hard to believe in a four week period you've fallen in love with me," I said, "Might I add, after you _rejected_ me."

"I was denying my feelings," Edward said, "I-I'm not good with change."

"Where would we even go from there," I asked, "I come back to Hollywood and what? The Paparazzi gets a new story, you get back your band member and cook, a temporary mother for your child until you find someone else, and then you realize that you don't really feel the same way about me. I'm not a model, I can't walk in heels, and I can't even make that man eater stare that women do to show they're sexy. I'm just plain, used, and unstable Bella."

"You don't have to rejoin the band," he threw up his hands, "you could join the circus for all I care. And you'd never have to cook a meal, and I would never throw Auden on you. There's no one else. It's just you; beautiful you. Just trust me Bella."

I squinted my eyes, unable to settle on the half realistic world before shutting my eyes completely. There, it was gone; just me…only me. "I'm really tired."

"Bella,"

"Edward…I just need some rest," I lied, "Please?"

"No," he repudiated, "I'm not leaving until-"

"Until what? I say that I love you? You already know that I do. What do you want me to do, get it tattooed on my forearm? Because it is," I held up my gauged arm, "right here in bright stitches; _Edward Fucking Cullen._"

Edward leaned his face close, and his nose brushed against the tip of mine, "I would never want you to hurt yourself."

"I don't hurt me," I whispered, "You hurt me."

"I'm not going to hurt you again," he breathed, "I love you. Now say it back."

"I can't," I gritted.

"No, you won't," Edward opposed. "If I don't give up on you about hand soap I'm sure as hell not going to give up on something I'm living for. Do you know what happened to me Bella? I walked into your room with the intention of painting it, and I began crying. And I couldn't figure out why I was such a sniveling mess on the floor, but I get it now. I looked at those hand prints, side by side, and I realized that I can't paint over something that is ingrained in me. I tried it with Tanya, and I was trying it with you. I can't do it any more Bella. I can't hide any of this anymore when it's tearing me inside more than you could ever know."

"If you hurt me again," my voice shook with uncertainty, "I know that it will kill me."

"I'm not going to hurt you," his lips were so closed to mine. So deliciously close… "Say you love me. Say you'll come to our home with me."

A sense of déjà vu came over me. It seemed like I'd been in this (not exact) situation months ago when I was faced with the decision to follow Edward, or stay here in Forks. It was like I had an epiphany. The two sides that had resided, hadn't in fact stayed on the side with Forks. The two sides, my heart and my mind had resided with Edward, and I had left not knowing where they lay. But now I could see them, joined and in agreement, and also in the palm of his hands. And like a few months ago, when I had restarted my life in Hollywood, I knew my answer without thinking for more than a few seconds.

I smiled mischievously, "Only on a few conditions…"

His eyes widened, "Okay…"

"You'll let me buy mango soap," I said.

Edward rolled his eyes, "Yes, any fruit."

"And," I continued, "I get my choice of cookies, even if all your Oreo's are split."

"Okay," he nodded.

"No criticizing my drawing," I warned, "Or I'm definitely not coming back."

"You're my Picasso," he sighed.

"One more thing," I added.

"Take my dignity would you," Edward commented.

"Fine," I crossed my arms, which was difficult with the IV still inserted in them.

"No," he jumped, "I'm sorry. Anything you want."

I picked up his hand, and laced my fingers lazily through his, "We have to be a family. No more secrets, no more hidden pasts."

"I wouldn't want anything else," he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Then it's settled," I smiled, "I'm coming home."

Edward's grin was wider than the stretch of the gash on my arm, "I love you."

I rolled my eyes as I cupped his face, "I love you too," I grinned dopily, "Eddie."

* * *

(Shout out: Little Ms. C)

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	29. Chapter 29

You and Me: Chapter 29  
_"I can't quite figure out"_

"Get out!" she yelled throwing a pillow, and anything she could get at his head.

"Who the hell are you," Edward blocked the flying pillow by holding up his forearms. Like many other circumstances I found myself at a loss for words, and with the sick feeling that was a cross between utter amusement and hysteria. But as my head pounded because of the absence of the helping aid of drugs, I was starting to lean towards the hysteria.

"Leah," I said softly, lifting my hands to my ears to lessen the assault of sounds on my drugs, "Stop, please."

"So you waltz up here like a royal ass, take advantage of her while she's recovering from an injury that you're partially the cause of, and have the nerve to ask me who the hell I am? Do you want to know who I am? I'm the bitch who's going to kick your ass if you don't get out of this hospital room!"

"I didn't take advantage of her!" Edward replied, "and you don't think I know I screwed up? Why do you think I'm here?"

"Screwed doesn't encompass this," Leah fired back, "She slit her wrist."

"I fell," I corrected lamely.

"And what about the weeks before that you were moping around without purpose? Was that an accident too," she rose a brow.

I could feel my cheeks redden as my lips clamped shut.

"Get out," she repeated, "Get out now."

"I'm not going anywhere," Edward defended, "I love Bella, and Bella loves me."

"That's exactly why you need to go," Leah said, "You're hurting her."

"Are you out of your mind," he threw up his hands, "Bella who is this?"

I remained speechless. One moment I had been sleeping, and the apocalypse was taking place in my hospital room.

"I'm not going to hurt her again," he insisted, "I apologized, and whoever you are this is none of your business. I don't have to explain myself to you."

I almost leaped out of the bed as Leah stalked her way up to Edward. Had it been any other person, I'd have thought they were bluffing. But I knew Leah, and I knew that if she wanted to she could beat you until you not only screamed uncle, but every ancestor ever sprouted on your family tree. I say 'almost' because I never actually got up out of the bed. What Leah said next had me rooted,

"You can apologize, but it doesn't mean things are better," Leah said, "I bet you Bella hasn't even forgiven you. Go on and ask her. Ask her if she's gotten over everything that's happened between you two."

I looked down, the silence in the room making me feel nauseously uncomfortable. The thudding in my head was had a direct relationship to the sound of the room. As the volume increased, so did the pain.

"Tell him, Bella, whether or not you've gotten over the day you cried for so long and so hard that you had to take medication to sleep." she spoke up again.

With each word she spoke, her tone grew harsher, and louder, sending painful messages to my brain. The more and more she continued, I started wondering whether she was defending me…or fighting me herself. I was starting to realize, that maybe Leah couldn't hold onto control as much as she wanted people to believe she could,

"Or, whether you've gotten over the pain you feel in your chest every time the words 'Edward' or 'rejection' or 'love' are mentioned."

"Ok," I said, "I get it. Stop."

"Have you gotten over the way he led you on? Maybe you forgot the way you were going to take a razor to your flesh in the shower? The way I had to pick up your bloody body off of the bath floor, and hold you while I called 911?"

"Leah," I warned, but my voice was only a tremor to the quake that her rant was creating, "stop."

"Or, _Bella," _Leah sneered,_ "_have you gotten over the fact that you slept with my little brother-"

"Stop!" I screamed, "Stop, stop –oh God."

I clenched at my temples, the searing pain ripping across my frontal lobes. I swatted at the hands coming towards me, and blocked out the apologies and concerns. All I could feel was the constant throb of hurt in my mind, and I couldn't tell whether it was being triggered by the ache in my heart, or the concussion I had gotten.

"Bella," I could hear Dr. Gerandy say, "Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere," I groaned, "I hurt everywhere."

"Ok," I heard her coo, "I'm going to give you something to make it go away. Is that alright?"

"Just make it stop," I nearly yelled, "I need it all to stop."

And after a while it did.

...

"Bella," I heard him, "I know you're not sleeping."

I kept my breaths short, and steady, hoping that he would get the point. I didn't want to talk; not to Edward, not to Leah, not to Alice, not to Emmett, or Rose, or Jasper, and not even Auden. Seth, and Sue had even come in, but I knew that if I opened my mouth I'd either start crying, or screaming.

How could things turn into such a mess after it had all been perfect? Edward had professed his love, I'd gotten back the Cullens…but then yesterday morning it had all tumbled down hill, cracking, and splitting without the help of the king's horses, and men to put my world back together again.

"Bella," he sighed, "You can't ignore me forever."

No, I couldn't. But I could do it for a damn long time.

"I don't understand it," I could feel the pressure of him lean against the hospital bed, "I thought…I thought we had worked things out."

We hadn't worked things out; we had just come to a mutual agreement. The agreement was that I was madly in love with you, and you, apparently, love me. And although I had been sure of your declaration yesterday, with everything Leah had said I had doubts. It all seem so unreal to me. Not impossible, but very unlikely. You love me. You, Edward Cullen _love _me, Isabella Swan. Somehow this couldn't be right could it? I think you made a mistake.

"Everything she said was true," he continued, "apologizing doesn't make everything alright. There are still things that you won't ever forget…but I'm willing to grovel, and beg at your feet until I can at least be forgiven. I don't care that you had sex with Seth, whoever he is. I mean I care, because I'm a jealous son of- well, you get it. But I-I don't own you, and you have the right to do what you want. I screwed myself over by not realizing how amazing you are sooner. I just need a chance Bella. I know you said that I was out on strike three, but I need some over time. Please. Put me back on the field."

If I was pretending to be asleep before I definitely couldn't pretend now. If it even happened I'm sure it was rare, but people don't blush in their sleep.

Edward chuckled. I jumped as I felt the brush of his heated hand on my cheek, "I missed this. I love how you blush at the mention of anything sexual. I wonder what you do when you're actually having sex."

The flush spread from my hairline down to the tip of my chest, thoroughly destroying my cover. I opened my eyes slowly, slightly not surprised to see Edward perched in front of me and leaning towards me. It seemed as if anytime we were with each other, our magnetic attraction had us bowing towards each other. Even I could feel myself leaning forward in my lying position. I wanted to feel the mass of curls that was his hair, and the rough stubble of his cheek. I wanted to run my lips across the fleshy extension of his ear, and feel the brush of his eyelashes on my cheek as our closed eyes touched. More than anything I just wanted to touch Edward.

"You were jealous," I whispered.

"More than my blood pressure could handle," he nodded, "I love you so much. Not to mention I _want _you so much too."

"Edward," I said, "I'm still…not me. It's going to be a while before I can get over some of this. Although she was slaughtering me, Leah was right."

He cradled my face, and used his thumbs to stroke the skin underneath my eyes, "I think you're beautiful in any way you are."

The tips of my ears burned, "I don't remember blushing this much before."

"I like it," he pressed his lips to the reddened flesh, "It's cute."

"Flattery isn't going to help you," I could feel my stomach somersault at the contact, "but it will get you far."

His teeth grazed against the skin of my ear before he pressed a hot kiss to my pulse. My body shivered in automatic reaction, "How far?"

"U-uh," I stuttered, "How far would you like?"

"Bella," Edward's hand trailed from the side of my face to my neck, and then down, down, _down. _

"Mm," came my incoherent reply.

"Can I kiss you?"

My breath left me in one silent gush. Here it was, the time I'd dreamed about when Edward would ask to kiss me. Of course in my dreams I hadn't been in a hospital bed, and this annoying fencing wasn't between us. The pressure of need had been building in my stomach for so long I was starting to think that with this one kiss I would combust before I could even feel it. But I wanted this…and Edward wanted this. So why the hell would I stop it?

I leaned forward, my body thrumming with anticipation as he leaned forward as well. I kept eyes focused on his as we got closer, and he moved himself to perch on the side of my bed.

"Close your eyes," he whispered. I could almost feel his lips on mine.

"No," I smiled, "I want to see you when I kiss you."

Edward rolled his eyes, "You're going cross eyed."

"Yah, well you're going to break the side of the bed."

"Close your eyes," he whined.

And because I couldn't take the delay any longer (or Edward's incessant whining) I closed my eyes, and captured his lips between mine.

There are things in your childhood that you remember to be (and will always be) great; the taste of ice cream on a scorching day, or flying down a hill on your first 'two wheeler'. Or it could be the feeling of your father placing a fish in your hand, and congratulating you for the 'big' catch. There was the feeling of a loving mother's touch, brushing away the tears of a bruised child, and there was the feeling of first love whether it was from friendship, or from a boyfriend. Whichever those feelings were, it felt much like this one. Kissing Edward was like the brighter of my childhood memories; priceless, and unexplainably fulfilling.

His lips were soft and warm as we first touched. It was almost as if neither of us could move for fear of breaking contact. Every pain and ache that had been inside surfaced, and transpired through my skin, evaporating into the world for the moment. It would only be able to condense again when I was done with this feeling. And I never wanted to be done with this feeling.

The kiss started off slow as they most always do. With no time to waste, we started to move our lips slowly, massaging each other with our mouths. The kiss was all on the surface, not allowing any depth until any of us were ready. It became more feverish, gaining speed, and force, and urgency. I didn't think it could become any more passionate than this.

Wanting more, I swiped my tongue across his bottom lip, asking, _begging _for entrance. He thankfully complied, allowing me to delve into his mouth.

I couldn't have been more wrong with my previous statement.

The taste of Edward's mouth was probably one of the best I had the privilege to experience. I don't know what it was that he'd been eating or if he had even been eating anything at all, but whatever it was I wanted to taste more of it. I pushed my tongue further, and further, passing it against the top of his mouth, and skating it across his own. My hunt was almost so enthusiastic I was wondering if I was going to choke Edward, but he seemed to be fine with my Lewis and Clark reenactment.

"Bella," he moaned out my name, "if you're not careful…"

His word was cut off as bit his lip, and I tugged it into my awaiting mouth.

I'd only kissed four boys in my life; _Luke Davidson, Jacob, Mike, and Seth. _None of them quite mastered it the way Edward was dominating. His kiss was searing hot, and I was sure that if we weren't careful my insides would explode from the current contact. My fingers twisted in his short locks, tugging, and never wanting him to let go of me. By now he had come off the railing of the bed and was vertical beside me holding himself up with one elbow and the other arm occupied with clamping his lips to mine.

Seeking closeness, I lifted my leg to hitch onto his thigh. It was funny how hours before I'd been too tired to even want to talk, and now my body was going haywire with awareness. Especially with the feeling of Edward's hand going from the nape of my neck, to the point of my shoulder blades, to the base of my back, and finally resting on my backside. He used the area as leverage to pull me closer. I could feel every contour of his body pressed deliciously flush against my body. I squirmed closer, wanting to always feel this part and every other part of Edward. He moved in as well, allowing our bodies dwell in the heated friction.

"Edward," I mumbled against his lips as the tension in my stomach coiled, and twisted.

"Bella," he muttered before slowly removing himself from me.

"What's wrong," my brows furrowed, "Is this –don't you want this?"

"Not now," Edward sighed, "Not here at least. We have time okay? There's nothing to rush."

I nodded, understanding what it was he meant. And even though I was currently hot and bothered, I somehow sent the same message to my body. For the remainder of his visit I lay cradled in his arms, listening to him hum, and thanking God for Edward.

...

We sat staring at each other, each not talking. One would take a breath and exhale loudly, and then another would follow fashion. Each of us had something brewing in the pits of us, but each of us knew that it was something bitter and vile that if spit out had the great potential to harm. We'd both wronged each other, and we both were too stubborn to admit it. And if we were going to admit it, it wouldn't be done kindly. Edward sat outside of the room, pretending to do Sudoku when really he was waiting to see if he'd be needed to intervene.

"Well," Leah said.

"Well," I raised a brow.

"Is there a reason I'm here or did you just want me to listen to that constant damn beeping of your IV," she asked.

"I was waiting for you to say something," I said, "something like, I don't know, an apology?"

"Me," she scoffed, "apologize to _you?" _

"I apologized for what I did already Leah," I said, "sincerely too. You on the other hand, took all my faults and threw them in my face in front of my- my Edward."

"Your Edward," she sneered, "how quaint."

"I know it's really hard for you, but could you pretend to have a soul for two seconds," I asked.

"Is everything going ok in here," Edward popped his head into the room. Leah marched up to the door and slammed it in his face, locking it with a quick switch.

I asked her, "Why are you acting like this?"

"Acting like what," a queer, sickening grin crossed her face, "_Bella." _

"I thought we'd gotten somewhere," I said, "I thought we were friends."

The evil grin dropped, replaced with an angry scowl.

"Things change," she snarled.

"No," I said, "You changed."

Her voice grew louder, "I didn't change."

"Oh really," I countered, "So you're just naturally a bitch."

She glared at me, "I didn't change at all Bella, I came to a realization."

"What," I said, "What realization did you come to that is making you like this? What the hell is with you?"

"Do you want to know," her voice matched my loud tone, "Do you really want to know what the hell is wrong with me?"

"Yes," I shouted.

"You," she yelled, "you and your perfect Hollywood life, and your perfect relationship with Jake, and perfect damn voice, and perfect being able to move on. You're just too flipping perfect. I'd thought that maybe we had something in common, that with the death of our fathers' we stood on somewhat shared ground. But you know what Bella? We're not alike in the slightest. Because you can have your happily ever effing after, and I'm still stuck here in this stupid appliance town!"

I looked at Leah, and I mean really _looked _at her. I saw a girl, at max three years older than me weighed down by everything that had happened in her life. She'd lost love, she'd lost family, and she'd lost her future, all in one swoop. It was ironic that as Leah said we couldn't be any more different that I found the biggest similarity between the two of us. We both just needed the escape. The plan began formulating in my head before I could really register what it was I was even thinking. It was impractical, rash, and a bit unrealistic, but given the hand she'd been dealt I knew that Leah needed something, anything to hold onto.

"Come back to California with me," I said.

"What," the squeak of her voice contrasted to the previous yelling she'd been doing.

"Leave La Push, and come back home with me," I told her, "Start fresh. Escape. Get your life back, Leah."

It took her a few minutes, but she finally seemed to regain control of her body, and willed herself to occupy the chair beside me. Her face was emotionless, again in the mask she used to shield herself from being seen as vulnerable. I couldn't tell whether she was contemplating…rejecting, or had already accepted my proposal. Leah didn't seem to be staring at anything in particular. Just the wall in front of her, as if it held all the answers she could possibly need.

"You could come live with Edward, and I," I continued, "you could stay there for as long as you like, until you're able to get yourself on your feet. I have a few connections, whatever you want just ask, and I'll help you."

She remained motionless, again in a state of deep pensiveness. With the loud (and even I had to admit it was damn constant) beeping I wasn't even sure she was breathing. I began looking for signs of any blue hues or purple shades on her face.

"Leah," I said, "I want you to come home with me. I want you to have a chance at being who you want to be, _where_ you want to be, away from this 'appliance' town."

Her eyes traveled to mine slowly, but still held an empty quality as she held my gaze. It didn't seem like she was looking at me rather looking through me. And if she was looking through me, what was it that she was trying to see in the transparency? I had nothing to hide. All that I said was true, and I was not one to fall back on my promises.

The next move I made was a dangerous one. I've always chided people who have been so dumb as to surround their selves with wildlife, and provoke it purposefully. Like the man who had sprayed himself with hind pee to attract a buck. It was for the purpose of innocent filming but none the less, probably not the smartest move he'd made in his life. But here I was, rubbing myself with urine, and spurring on a lethal reaction. Now of course I didn't actually rub pee on myself. But I did the hygienic equivalent, and that was to pick up Leah's hand, and hold it.

"Nayeli Leah," I said, "You're family."

I had expected a punch, a kick, or at least the gnashing of teeth from Leah, but instead was met with a reaction that was equally alarming. Leah leaned forward, folded her body onto my stomach and began to weep. Besides the feeling of being an ass for comparing her to a male deer, (or any other vicious, undomesticated animal) a mixture of relief and compassion came over me. I wrapped my arms around her, and stroked her hair, knowing that all she needed at the moment was someone to comfort her, someone to hold her now that she couldn't hold in herself anymore. She needed someone to step up, and tell her that it would be okay, and that her life didn't have to end here. And in a small thought I found another similarity between the two of us, hardening the common ground that we stood on. Like me, Leah needed someone to remind her to breathe.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	30. Chapter 30

You and Me: Chapter 30  
_"Everything she does"_

"No," I said firmly, hoping she accepted it. As strong as it came out, I was silently shaking behind my words. Bella could command me to rob a bank, and I'd do it. All she had to do was ask me in the right way, and I was her slave.

"Edward," her doe eyes rolled, "Don't overreact."

"She threw a pillow at me," I continued, "I'm inclined to overreact."

"If you don't move your hands, I'm never going to get out of here," she nodded to the forms in my hand. My pen had stilled once we'd reached this current topic. Bella was finally being discharged from the hospital after a total of two weeks of admittance. I was ecstatic, seeing as this meant she'd be coming home with me all the sooner. What I wasn't ecstatic about was who else she wanted to come back with us, "Be reasonable."

"You didn't even talk to me about it," I threw up my hands in the air, dropping the clipboard with a clang, "What if I don't want her there? No, not what if. I don't want her there!"

"Would you stop frowning, and come help me out of the bed," she asked.

I trailed from my position on one of the waiting chairs. Thank goodness I wasn't actually waiting anymore. I don't think I would be breathing right now if Bella wasn't ok. I remember the constant feeling of asphyxiation grabbing at my lungs, and keeping them in an iron grasp. But now they'd been released, and I was finally able to just be with her. And now I was going to be with her…and Leah.

The side effects of hitting your head took its toll on Bella, causing her to be nauseous, unsteady, and set with headaches for the next week or so. Alice, and Rosalie had already helped her into her clothes, and so now it was up to me to get her where she wanted to go. I linked my arm around her waist, and lifted her off the bed effortlessly. I took in her squeal, laughter, and wriggling in my arms, reaffirming how good it was to have her here, and be able to touch her.

"Put me down," she laughed, "Edward!"

"What if I don't want to," I sat down on the bed with her, "What if I want to be with you forever…without Leah in our house."

Her soft plump lips connected to mine, sending pins and needles down my skin. Kissing Bella was an experience I hadn't ever felt with anyone else. The way her large lips wrapped around, and dominated mine. Just the feel of the luscious appendages had me hot with anticipation. I imagined them wrapped around other parts of me.

"Um," she mumbled against my lips, "Edward."

"What," I pulled her lips to mine. Although the angle was awkward since I was cradling her, it didn't stop the intense feeling of kissing her.

"You're…poking me," Bella said. I could actually feel the sudden heat of her face against mine.

I laughed against her lips, pulling her closer, "So what are you going to do about that."

"Ignore it," she smiled mischievously, "just like how you're ignoring the topic."

I groaned, she was going to be the death of me, "Noooo, ok, ok. If we talk about Leah staying with us, then I get Bella time, right?"

She nodded, "And keep an open mind."

"I'll keep an open mind," I rolled my eyes, "what would her living with us entitle."

She sat up quickly.

"Well she could stay in that wing of the house we never go to," I said, "and let her use one of the cars…at least until she finds a job. Then when she finds one, and gets enough of a steady income to move out, we let her. That's all Edward. I just need you to be okay with it…and to treat her well."

"I don't like her," I told her, "and I'm positive she doesn't like me either."

"You both just started off on the wrong foot," Bella toyed with my buttons. I couldn't tell whether she was doing this to mess with my head, or if it was an innocent action. This was a new side I was seeing of Bella. Between the two of us, the feelings shared were always tension, anger, laughter, or confusion. But now, it was just us caring for each other. And as sappy as it sounded, I loved the closeness. It was something that Victoria never allowed me to do, and I hadn't been able to do with a woman for a while, "Leah's been through as much I have. She deserves the same start over I had. She just needs someone to believe in her. Please Edward?

"How the hell am I supposed to ignore you when you look at me like that," I shook my head to clear the fog created by her gaze, "Bella…"

"And she's great with kids!" she threw in, "no matter how bitter she is she's always loved them."

"Bella," I buried my head in her hair.

"Edward she put me back together when you weren't here for me," she said. The words stung almost as much as the guilt that was treading behind them. But Bella was right, I hadn't been there for her in the time she needed me the most. Leah had. Leah was the one to pick her up out of the shower, and take her to the hospital…and hit me with a pillow, but regardless. She had helped Bella, and in some sick, and torturous way I owed her. I had to trust that Bella wouldn't invite anyone dangerous into our house.

"Ok," I sighed, hating the words that were coming out of my mouth, "Leah can stay with us."

"Yes!" she bounced up and down, smashing her lips to mine almost painfully.

She tugged my bottom lip into her mouth, and sucked on it hard causing the blood to rush to the surface and create a pounding sensation. A hum thrummed through her body, causing me to be impossible more turned on then before. It seemed as if everything about Bella screamed seduction, and temptation. I wanted to hold her, feel her, touch her, but all of this was impossible with her pinning my hands by my sides. Although I knew I could break free of her grasp if I wanted to, I didn't want to. I was stuck in the orbit that was Bella, and I didn't care.

"Nuh, uh, uh," she clucked as she bit my lip, then my jaw. Her teeth scraped across my ear lobe, causing me to shudder again.

"Bella," I stuttered.

"You, are, mine," she whispered before pushing me back on the bed. I bounced against the springs of the mattress while Bella straddled me, "When was the last time you kissed her?"

My mind reeled, "Who?"

She smiled, "Victoria. When was the last time you kissed her?"

"I-I don't know," I said truthfully.

"Right answer," Bella walked her fingers up to my chest, and pressed her fingers to the muscles there. It was a different, but sensual feeling, "Did you ever have sex?"

"Bella?"

"Well, did you," she asked, her fingers digging in slightly harder.

"Yes," I said, "You're starting to scare me."

She snickered, "What was it like? And I don't suggest you lie to me."

I gulped, "It was good…not great, but satisfying…"

Her expression was not one that I expected. Instead of the jealousy, or even disappointment that I had expected, there was one of smugness.

"Wrong answer, Edward," a small smile pulled at her lips mischievously, "you're not supposed to remember. So you're going to have to pay now."

Pay? "Pay," I squeaked.

"Mhmm," she lowered her body closer to mine, slowly, tantalizingly. "I'm going to make you forget all about her."

My eyes widened, "Forget?"

Her plump lips connected to my throat, sucking and licking before she sunk her teeth in. I released my groan into the pillow beside me, not wanting anyone to hear what it was we were doing. Everything about Bella was so natural. The way her soft curves felt compared to Victoria's angular ones, and the way her large lips made me go crazy. But one of the best contrasts, was the way that compared to Victoria's fragile ones, Bella's fingers were soft, and delicate, though held strength in them as they went down my torso, past my waist line, into my pants, and brushing against my-

"Bella?"

I removed Bella from me so quickly I worried that I gave her whip lash.

"Alice," I gasped, "you have _got _to stop popping up in places like that."

Alice's eyes were wide, "Um, uh, I, uh, was supposed to tell you we can leave now."

Bella's face was cherry red as she tried to find words to say.

"Thank you," she managed to choke out.

Alice turned to leave before spinning back around, "Can we not talk about this again please? Ever-"

"Yah,"

"Of course," Bella and I answered simultaneously as Alice left.

We took one look at each other and began to laugh.

"Did you see her face?" I spluttered.

"No you should have seen _your _face," Bella giggled, "That's the reddest I've seen you in my life."

"Me? Red!" I pushed her playfully, "your face was the color of a stop sign. That was priceless."

Our laughter quieted down as I helped her off of the bed. Once in front of her, I fixed her tussled hair, straightened her clothes made sure she was in check.

"How do I look?" she asked sincerely, her wide eyes reflecting her self-consciousness. For someone who had just been so confident in dominating me before, I was surprised by her sudden vulnerability. I pressed a single kiss to her lips before looking into her eyes to convey exactly what I knew was the truth,

"Perfect."

**Bella's Point of View **

I put the last of my belongings within the second small box. It was quite sad how little I had taken with me on my escape here. As I closed the box, my finger slid across a piece of glass inside of the container.

"Crap," I murmured as I made my way to the kitchen. This was the fifth cut I'd accumulated, and I hadn't even been anywhere else in this house besides Billy's family room.

I ruffled through a few drawers before I heard the voice behind me.

"Looking for these?"

I jumped.

"Holy crackers, Seth," I ripped the package of band-aids from his grasp, "don't do that to me."

"Sorry," he shrugged, "I thought you saw me here."

"Well," I huffed, "I didn't."

An awkward silence ensued as I cleaned my finger, cleansed it with some Neosporin, and then wrapped my fourth band-aid for the day on my hand.

"Wow, Bella," Seth chuckled, "you sure didn't gain any coordination when you went away."

I rolled my eyes, "There're only some things that change with time."

He nodded, "So….are we going to talk or?"

"I don't know," I said, "this has the potential to get very awkward."

"I think it already is," he rubbed at his thick short hair, "Ok, so we had sex."

"And it just got more awkward," I bit at my lip, "We had sex."

"Yes."

"It's good we clarified that," I nodded.

"We were both distressed, and we were desperate," he said.

"Yah," I agreed.

"So, you, um," he began to pause, "you don't have feelings for me?"

My eyes widened, "Oh no! Seth, please don't tell me-"

"Bella, no," he shook his head violently, "I, um, I'm back together with Jenny."

I sighed, "Thank God. Because Edward and I…I don't know what we are but we're something."

The tension visibly left Seth, "I'm so glad we got that cleared up."

"So….does Jenny know?" I asked.

"Yah," he said, "technically I didn't cheat on her since she broke up with me. Does Edward know?"

I nodded, "Leah kind of threw that cat out of the bag, quite violently too."

"That must have sucked, to tell her and all," he said.

"It did," I shuddered at the memory, "But what changed with you and Jenny? I thought she didn't want to be caged in Forks."

"Well," I said, "We came to a compromise. We won't leave Washington…but we're not staying with the tribe."

I raised my brow, "How do you feel about that?"

"I'll be fine," he shrugged, "Mom's coming with too. With Leah and I both leaving now, she's thinking about moving in town. Jenny and I don't mind at all. We love having mom close."

"It seems like everyone is getting some new scenery," I smiled, "That's really great Seth. I'm proud of you."

He smiled, "So we're friends again?"

I leaned forward and embraced the large boy in my arms, "We never stopped being friends."

"Bella," Leah came through the door, but froze as she saw my arms around him, "Please, tell me you're just hugging."

Seth, and I laughed, "Just making up, sis."

She nodded, "We need to get the rest of our belongings out of the house. The bonfire is going to start in a few hours, and I don't want to leave _anything _behind."

Ah, the bonfire. It had been put in Billy's will that after he passed he wanted his house with all the belongings he hadn't left to us, to be burnt. It was his thought that by burning the house his memories as well as Jacobs would be preserved. I could understand this. If the house remained, than it would be emptied and most likely, another Quileute would try to stake a claim to the house, and no one wanted anyone else to live in the Black's house. So tonight, we would be having a ceremony where his belongings, as well as Jacob's would be burned within the house. But first, we needed to get the things we were entitled to.

Leah and I had gone through Billy's living room already, and Leah had tackled Billy's room. We had yet to enter Jacob's room seeing as it was the hardest for us. We would need to divide the belongings afterwards amongst me, and the Clearwater's, but for now all we needed to focus on was gathering them.

"So, we're really going in," Seth said as we faced Jacob's door, "I haven't been in here since he died."

Leah nodded, "I haven't either."

I sighed, "It hurts at first…but then this feeling of overwhelming nostalgia hits and you don't know whether you feel like crying from happiness or grief."

Leah reached for the doorknob and with one swift movement she threw open the door. We all jumped as the doorknob collided with the back wall.

Everyone was silent. I had already experienced the pain of seeing the room, but now I was still in the mix of overwhelming emotions. I could hear Seth's breath shorten, and Leah's quiet sobs begin to turn into shrill, panicking shrieks. She tried to turn around to leave, but I took her hand, and held onto it. Seth pulled her into his arms, and tried to shield her from what was killing him as well.

I stumbled to the bed where I had found Billy that tragic morning, and lowered myself to my knees. With my head pressed to the side of the bed, I clasped my hands together, and began to pray for the first time in weeks.

"Oh God," I murmured, "Even though I think you've forsaken me, I ask that you remember me now, and that you will just hold me. Because no one can understand what we feel like…only you can. It hurt's Lord, to know that you are so perfect, and yet you took them away. Help me believe. Help me be faithful. Help me."

I noticed that I was not alone in my cry for help. Beside me was Seth and Leah, knees bent and head bowed as mine was; the three of us, sobbing, and just needing an answer, a sign, _anything. _And then, as the wind blew through the room, we all became silent. A paper brushed at my fingers, and I picked it up. Ripped with jagged edges was a small piece of paper with what I realized was Billy's hand writing,

_To my guardian Leah; to my love Sue; to my savior Bella, and to my son, Seth _

_Nayeli _

"I can do this," I said, getting up from off my knees, "We can do this. I'll start with the closet."

As if we had not just been groveling before the Creator, the three of us dispersed in the room, beginning to timidly pick through Jacob's things before gaining confidence. I came to the back of the closet and pulled out a few articles of clothing before my fingers scrapped against the tough fabric of something. I pushed my hand deep into the clutter until I pulled out Jacob's treasured leather jacket. I buried my face into the neck of it and inhaled.

"What'd you find?" Seth asked.

I threw it at him, "Try it on."

With a questioning glance he shrugged the mahogany jacket on. Once again, I was flabbergasted by the resemblance. It was…unnatural how much he looked like Jacob. They shared the same nose, they shared the same cheeks, they had the same laugh….but there was someone else who had the same nose, the same cheeks, and the same laugh.

_To my guardian, Leah,_

_To my love, Sue, _

_To my savior, Bella, _

_To my son, Seth, _

"Bella," Leah yelled as I ran out of the house towards the Clearwater residence. I sprinted across the rocks of the beach, tripping once or twice in my haste to get to Sue.

"Sue," I shouted as I made my way into the house, not bothering to knock, "Sue."

"Bella," I caught her in the kitchen, sorting through papers, "What's the matter?"

"You loved Billy," I stated.

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Of course I loved him."

"No," I shook my head, "You _loved _him."

Sue swallowed, "We had strong feelings for each other."

"But what about Harry?"

"What about Harry," she eyed me, "My husband's been dead for quite some time now. There's no rule saying I can't fall in love again."

I stood in front of her, her frail body inches shorter than mine, "We both know this wasn't after Harry died."

I watched as the blood from her face drained, and she paled, "What are you saying Bella?"

"I'm saying that something went on between you and Billy," I said.

"Why is this your business," she snapped.

"Because I have a feeling this is affected more than just you and Billy," I said.

"Harry and I split," she informed me, "for a few weeks. I made some mistakes during that time, but we still managed to get back together. He took me back."

"Why?"

"Contrary to your belief I loved my husband, and he loved me back," Sue said.

"And you were pregnant," I added.

Her eyes began to glisten, "And I was pregnant."

"With Seth," I continued.

"With Seth," she nodded.

"Billy's baby," I said.

"My Billy's baby," Sue dropped her head to her hands, "But I couldn't stay with Billy. I loved Harry too, and it would break apart our family. I couldn't even consider leaving Leah. We needed to have a stable home. Seth needed to be raised in a stable home. He's not ready to know Bella, please, don't tell him."

"I'm not going to tell him," I lifted her head, "He has the right to know, but I'm not going to tell him."

"We were going to tell him," she sniffled, "But then Jacob died."

I nodded, "I understand. But are you ever going to tell him?"

"I'll do it," she promised, "But when he's older. He's so happy with Jenny….I can't do anything to that now. Especially after Billy…"

"I'm sorry for forcing it out of you," I wrapped my arms around her, "But I had to know. He left this."

I pulled the note from out of my back pocket. Sue's eyes began to drip more as she read the note, "I want to make sure Seth has the most important things. That way he'll have something of theirs."

She nodded, squeezing me back, "I really did love him."

"I know you did, Sue," I pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I know."

...

"I can't believe this is my last night here," Leah said as we strolled down the beach. I realize with a small smile that this was such an intimate moment. The saucer in the sky contained milky white contents that created the sultry beam shining on our path. The jagged teeth of the sea continued to bare themselves at me, but I knew that it was in a farewell smile. Leah's fingers were entwined with me, reminding me how much we had bonded in this time. Leah was like a sister to me in a different way than Alice and Rosalie. I didn't feel as if I had replaced them in anyway, just opened my heart to another.

"Are you going to miss the reservation at all?" I asked.

"Of course," she snorted, "I'm Quileute. Everything in our blood calls us to be here. But I also think that's the reason it's too much for a lot of us."

"You will come back though?"

"I plan on being buried here," she smiled, "Right next to my father."

"How many plots are there?"

"We have the general vicinity cleared for us," she said, "You know how we are about being buried with our family line. So Seth will go there too…along with any children that comes to them."

"Is that…tradition?"

"Just for our family," she said.

I nodded, "Leah. Can I tell you something?"

"I don't know, can you," she quirked.

I nudged her with my shoulder, "I'm serious Leah. It's going to affect you. And you _can't _tell Seth."

She stopped walking, "What is it Bella?"

"Promise me," I said, "Promise me you will never mention this to anyone ever again."

Leah nodded, "I promise."

I tugged her hand signaling for her to keep walking with me. I gained courage as we walked, finally able to tell her.

"Billy is Seth's biological father," I said before I gushed the information, "Sue was having an affair…and she got pregnant. She never told your father or you because she didn't want anything to change. Billy and her came to an agreement, and Harry was put as Seth's biological father. There was never any question of whether Seth was his. He looked like Sue, and that was enough."

Leah's mouth opened, then closed, then opened once more before words finally came out, "I always knew."

"What?"

"The way they would look at each other," she shook her head, "the way that Sue cried when Jacob died. The way Billy treated Seth….or held onto him. There was something more than the surface."

I released a large sigh, "I had to tell you. I don't think I can live keeping another thing from you; especially something concerning Seth."

"Oh relax, I'm so over you sleeping with him," she rolled her eyes, "Just don't talk about how big he was or –gah, I'm going to stop."

_Even though he was, _"Alright, it's settled."

"Bella,"

"Speak of the devil," she snickered.

"Hey Seth," I turned to see his dark form jog towards us, "What's up?"

"They're ready for you," he smiled, offering Leah and me his hands. We accepted them, and the three of us ran up to the beach to where the tribe members sat with a large fire at nucleus of their circle. It was not the actual fire that we had come here for, but it still served as a foreshadowing of what was to come.

Seated on a log next to Quil Atearra, I got myself situated. I didn't know why my stomach was fluttering, I was long over stage fright. But somehow I knew that what I was feeling was much larger than stage fright. Somehow I knew that this was all much bigger than me.

Quil looked at me, exchanging a greeting nod, before asking if I was ready. I nodded in reply, and heard as the campsite quieted down to the crackle of the flame and the strum of the guitar strings.

"_Spend all your time waiting__… __For that second chance__  
__…And it's hard at the end of the day," _

It had been so long since I had last sung. But when I finally did let the vibrations of my soul leak from my lips, oh God did I sing. Every emotion, every pain, and every secret led to revelation seeped out into my words.

_In the arms of the angel__…__Fly away from here__  
__…You're in the arms of the angel__…__May you find some comfort here"_

And as they lit fire to the already broken house, every memory, and every past event flew into the sky with the billows of smoke, as every pain and burden sunk with the embers of the flame.

_In this sweet madness__…__Oh this glorious sadness__  
__That brings me to my knees_

I could smell the smoke, taste the tears, see the pain, hear the cries, and feel everything all at once. My throat closed, and there was no way that I could possibly keep singing. I rose, contradicting the last words of the song I sang, and walked, standing only feet away from the hungry flame.

In my hands was the sweater I had saved. The sweater from over seven months ago, that had been my only remnants of Jacob until now. I had puked, I had cried, and I had worn myself dry. It had been my burden until now. I was going to set it free.

I let go of the sweater, and let the flames ravage it. It was silent besides the whispering of the fire and the cracking of its tongue. Quil's fingers brushed at my arm, the simple touch asking if I was ok. I nodded as I regained composure, and finished what I had started. I was right in saying that this was much bigger than me. I couldn't carry this on my own. So for now, I rested it in someone else's arms.

_You're in the arms of the angel__  
__May you find some comfort here_

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	31. Chapter 31

You and Me: Chapter 31  
_"Is beautiful"_

This was a mistake. I love Bella, I honestly do. But I can't take this constantly. I can't take _her _constantly.

"Pour me a cup would'ya?" I asked Leah as she distributed coffee into a mug.

"Does this look like IHOP to you?" she asked, "It's your house get your own damn coffee."

"You should see a doctor about that constant bitchiness," I said, "it's not healthy."

"Look Edward, you and I can keep up the 'I respect you' charade round Bella, but as long as we're alone, then I'm not going to pretend to like you," she sipped at the black liquid.

"Wow, this is how you show gratitude," I smiled as I took the coffee cup from her hand and planted my lips on it, "Mm, good coffee."

"I'm grateful that you're letting me stay with you," Leah said, "But that doesn't change how I feel about you."

"I'm not saying you have to like me. You just need to have some civility," I told her, "Because quite frankly if you weren't so close to Bella I wouldn't let you anywhere near my house or child. I'm still questioning your mental stability."

"Poor boy, both stupid and unable to formulate comebacks," she patted my cheek, taking the cup from me, "I don't know what Bella sees in you."

"It doesn't matter," I took back the mug, "Where's your boyfriend?"

Leah took back the mug and licked around the rim, flicking me off as she traveled down the hall.

"Daddy," Auden trailed into the kitchen a few minutes later, "Can I have ice cream?"

"Auden, its 9 A.M," I told him.

He scrunched his face up, "I want ice cream."

"How about some strawberry waffles," Bella yawned as she entered the kitchen.

"Chocolate,"

"Either it's chocolate waffles now and no ice cream later, or strawberry waffles now, and ice cream later."

Auden sighed before sitting on the floor, "Strawberries please."

I smiled amazed at how easily Auden complied. I had obviously been doing something wrong these past few years.

"Bell," he tugged on her trouser pants, revealing a sliver of skin between her noodle strap top (or whatever it was that girls called it) and her long pants. Also inside was the thin cord of her thong. I loved my son.

"Yes, peanut," she looked down at him.

"In…..vacation, daddy make breakfast," he smiled at me.

My eyes widened, "Uh, Auden, we don't need to share this with Bella."

"And…. towel….a big boom! And fire...Uncle Jazzy screaming! And shaving cream, and then," Auden took a breath, "I had cheerios."

Bella turned to raise her brow at me.

"I'm hoping you didn't hear that," I said.

"I didn't, but I caught the gist of it," she smirked, "Now take three steps away from the stove."

I rolled my eyes, and reached for the strawberry case.

She slapped my hand away, "Why don't you go do something useful with yourself?"

"Bell," Auden said, "Can you play tigers with me?"

"After breakfast," she nodded, "Would you like to play Edward?"

"Sure," I agreed, "Sounds fun."

Auden clapped excitedly, "Can Lee play too?"

"No," I said quickly, as Bella said 'yes.'

"Why not daddy?"

"Yah, why not Edward," Bella turned to me.

"Um, I thought, she was going somewhere today," I tried to cover.

"Nope," she popped the 'p', "Staying home. Now that we've cleared that up, Auden, go and make our lions' den while I deal with breakfast."

"Ok," he skipped away.

_This morning is going to get interesting. _

**Bella's Point of View **

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, _roar, _shuffle, _roar, _shuffle, _roar_; I am starting to think that a lion has a very boring life.

"To cave!" Auden announced.

The four of us crawled on our hands and knees to the small, confined area of Auden's playhouse which was now serving as 'the cave.' I trailed in first, followed by Edward, then followed by Leah. Sitting in this order, we all had somehow managed to fit in the dome.

"Nap time," Auden announced.

"Again," Edward groaned.

"Hey, lions sleep for like, twenty hours of the day. They're nocturnal," I chuckled as I lay my head down on Edward's shoulder.

"Lie down," Auden commanded.

"You're an awful bossy lion," Edward said.

"Hey, Auden," Leah said.

"Simba," he told her, "ROAR!"

"I'm sorry, Simba," she corrected, "Can I sleep in the field?"

"No," he answered, "sleep here. Like family."

"Yah Leah," Edward chuckled, "family."

Leah grumbled as she did her best to lie on the floor. Her feet stuck out the door of the playhouse. Edward rearranged himself, lying with his back on the floor and his feet through the window, and I positioned myself on Edward's stomach, pressing a kiss through the fabric while his fingers stroked through my hair.

"Hey, hey, hey," Leah said, "None of that in here."

"Just because you are single and bitter doesn't mean you need to Grinch about it."

"My relationship status is a choice," she growled, "and the reason I'm bitter is because I'm cramped."

"Be nice," Auden said, "Like family."

"Yah Leah," Edward snickered, "family."

"Well then, _brother" _she pinched his cheek quite forcefully, "move your ass, it's in my face."

"It's not like I want your face there either. Move yourself."

"Hey," I intervened, "You two are the most unpleasant people I have ever met. I'm considering changing prides."

"Go ahead," Leah scowled, "more space."

"Sleep," Auden whined.

"Auden, it's not actually nap time. We can't sleep," Edward said.

"Peanut we're pretend sleeping," Bella said.

"Not very well," Leah said, "But then again I suppose it's very hard for Edward to keep his mouth shut."

"That's it," Edward said, "All those in favor of kicking Leah out of the pack say 'I'."

"Packs are for wolves you idiot," she rolled her eyes before maneuvering herself out of the play house.

"Come back," Auden said.

"Sorry, darling, this lioness needs to visit the water pond," she said.

"Can I have juice?" he asked.

"Ask your dad," Leah said.

"Daddy?"

"Go ahead," Edward nodded.

"Come on Simba," Leah held out her hand which Auden took. I watched as they left down the hall and turned the corner. The moment they were out of sight, I made my move.

I threw my leg over his body, and sat atop of his stomach. His eyes were wide of surprise.

"For someone who comes across as so innocent you sure know how to scare the hell out of me,"

Edward pulled my face to meet his lips. His kisses peppered my eyelids, nose, cheeks and finally lips. I loved the feel of Edward's lips. Besides his back, they were probably the sexiest part of his body. I sucked his lips into my mouth, unable to kiss him without doing this. I could kiss Edward for every second of every day.

"They're going to come back soon," he panted. But even as he said this his fingers climbed up my shirt.

I pulled the playhouse door shut just so that we would at least know when they were at the door.

"Nuh uh," I moved his fingers and entwined mine with them. I leaned down, pressing my entire body to his and biting at his neck.

"Bella," his murmur turned into a full moan as I sunk my teeth in. And the sensation of feeling his throat vibrate beneath my lips had me quivering inside. I wanted to hear the sound again, or rather, _feel _it. I bit harder, eliciting the most delicious moan I'd ever heard from Edward. My teeth clamped in reaction, almost as if I was trying to brand him.

Edward yelped, sitting up so quickly his head smacked the roof of the play house, "Ow," he squealed, rubbing at his neck, "Damn Bella."

"Oops," I laughed, pressing a small kiss to the swollen area, "I think I got carried away."

"Just a bit," he groaned, "That's not going to go away for weeks."

I captured the sound with my mouth, "You make me so hot," I pressed my lips to his harder, "touch me."

"I can't," he chuckled against my lips.

"Auden takes forever to finish his juice," I moved my hips suggestively, "touch me."

"No really, I can't," Edward laughed, "You're still holding my hands."

"Oh," I released them, "Sorry."

He let out a large breath as he moved me off of him, "Another time."

I nodded, "I can't believe my boyfriend is turning me down."

Edward froze causing me to freeze in response.

"I-I'm sorry… I didn't even ask if that's what we are. I just-"

"No, Bella," he pressed a quick kiss to my lips, "I just love hearing it. You do know I'm yours right?"

"Yes," I giggled before rolling my eyes, "And I'm yours."

...

"So what exactly do you do here?" Leah asked as she sat down on the couch.

"Well… we mash," I shrugged, "Sing songs about whatever we want. I mean originally we were practicing for our tour…but you know how that went."

"Is it back on?"

I shook my head, "Too late of a notice. But I was able to speak to Max."

I remember my encounter with the man. It had been a terrifying, but needed, meeting.

"_Max?" I peeked my head inside of the office, ripping my arm from the grasp of the secretary, "Get your hands off of me." _

"_I'm sorry Max, I tried my hardest to get her out but she ran past me." _

"_I wouldn't need to run past you if you weren't so difficult," I snarled, "Max, let me in." _

"_I can call the security." _

"_Go ahead, call them," I snorted. I had treated many of the security guards with coffee and breakfast. None of them would put a hand on me. _

"_Enough," Max's voice boomed from where he was seated, "Bella, come in." _

_ Childishly, I stuck my tongue out at the secretary before entering the office. All pretenses of confidence that I had held when facing the secretary flew away as I faced Max._

"_Max," I said. _

_He looked up from the paper he'd been looking before sliding the paper towards me. _

"_Do you know what that is?" _

_I glanced down at the form, the word TERMINATION staring me dead in the face. _

"_Not particularly," I admitted, "a termination slip?" _

"_No Bella," he shook his head, "It's the one thing standing between you and your life in Hollywood. I sign the line on the right, and you're done. I sign the line on the left and you remain." _

"_Well," I swallowed, "which side are you going to sign?" _

_He held my stare, "Give me one good reason I shouldn't sign you off after what you pulled. I should have terminated your asses from the second I heard you went M.I.A. But I didn't because I thought that you would come to your senses. You're so talented Bella. I can't believe you were willing to give this all away in such a flash." _

"_I know," I nodded. _

"_Did you? Did you think how irresponsible your leaving would be? We have a contract. You broke that contract." _

_I couldn't speak. The feeling of disappointment was so heavy that I didn't feel worthy too. For someone I thought I disliked, I revered his opinion. _

"_I'm so sorry," I wiped my eyes. _

"_Give me one reason," Max sighed, "one good reason Bella." _

_ "I'm ready," I said with conviction, "I'm ready more than I've ever been in my life to do this. I'm so sure of it. Before, I had no direction Max. I was still figuring things out. But now that I've finally let go of every weight that has been dragging me to the sea floor, I'm ready. And I promise you, I will not let you down again. Just give me a second chance. I can do this." _

_Max pulled the paper back. _

"_You know I have a daughter," Max started, "looks just like you, but she's around 12."_

_My brows furrowed, not knowing where he was going with him. _

"_Every time I ask her to watch over my plants, when I leave," he said, "they're so beautiful. Gardenias, daisies, freesias, daffodils; you name it and I've got it growing. And I care so much for those flowers. I invest so much time in them. And every time I ask her to take care of them when I leave, I come back and a few have died."_

"_And every time I yell and carry on with her, she always gets tears in her eyes and says the same thing," he shook his head smiling, "I'm sorry, I'll do better next time. And do you know what I do Bella?" _

"_No, sir." _

_ "When I leave, I trust her with the plants again," he told me, "Because I know that she's trying, and that deep down inside, no matter how much I yell at her, she loves me. And I know that she is going to mess up, but I trust her anyways. So do you know what I'm going to do?" _

"_No sir," I repeated. _

_ "I'm going to keep you Bella," he said, "Because despite my constant yelling, and great disappointment in your actions, I know the potential you hold. And I have an unusual soft spot for you. So I'm going to sign the left side. But Bella, don't you dare do anything like this again." _

"_Yes sir," I smiled, "I promise I'll do better." _

"_Oh and Bella," Max said, "Stop calling me sir." _

"So you're still signed?"

"I'm still signed," I smiled, "I don't deserve it, but I am. And I'm not going to screw with it."

"Well then," Leah leant back, "Perhaps some celebration is at hand."

"Like what?" I smirked.

"I'll do dinner tonight," she offered, "Invite whoever over and I'll do it."

"You're serious?" I asked, "Because I'm not one to give up free dinner."

"Yah," she nodded, "So how much should I cook for, the usual? Oh wait! Bella, remember we have that viewing tonight? The one Alice was talking about?"

"Oh," my blood drained.

"Are you ok? You look kind of pale," Leah asked.

I sat down on the couch, "Yah, yah. I'm ok."

"Are you sure? Here, lie down. I'll go get you some water."

I followed Leah's orders as I lie back on the couch.

_The viewing party, _

Months ago I would have been excited for this event. Mike had worked so hard on his movie, and now that he was finally getting it viewed it was a cause for celebration. But at the time when I'd been invited we had been together…and now?

There were so many aspects to this that troubled me. One; how would Mike feel if he saw me with Edward? Two; how would I feel if Mike saw me with Edward? Three; how would I feel if I saw Mike with another girl?

I felt a pang at my chest. I had Edward. So why did it still hurt to think about Mike? I felt like I was cheating internally. Was I meant to feel jealousy when I thought about him with another woman? It wasn't my place. I didn't have a right to feel jealous. I didn't have a right to still have feelings for Mike.

"Bella," Leah came back and handed me a cup, "you look worse."

"I do?"

"You know the doctor said you'd have a few dizzy spells."

"No," I shook my head before accepting the cup graciously, "thanks, but it's not that."

"Then what is it?" she rose an eyebrow.

"The viewing party," I started, "it's Mike's."

I had told Leah all about my relationship with the young movie producer, and I knew that she understood the situation.

She nodded, "Oh. I see. So you're worried about there being drama?"

I shook my head, "Mike would never be anything but respectful," I had a small smile.

"Then what are you worried about?"

"Do you think," I started, "that I shouldn't be going out with Edward."

"Of course," she snorted, "but that's because of my own dislike. What's your reason?"

"I just broke up with Mike."

"Oh," Leah settled herself with a knowing smile, "You still have feelings for him."

"I loved him Leah," I said, "I loved Edward more, but I still felt for Mike."

"_Still _feel for Mike," she corrected, "It's ok Bella. It's not like you can get over such strong feelings in a month. But it's up to Edward whether he feels comfortable with that."

"You think I should tell him," I choked on my drink, "I-I can't do that."

"It's only fair to him Bella. What if he still had feelings for Victoria? Wouldn't you want to know?"

I sighed, "You're right."

"I know I am," she shrugged, "but is there any way you could still break up with him?"

I pressed a kiss to her cheek, "No way in hell bub."

...

I heard rustling in the room, followed by a clang and curse word.

I knocked, "Edward?"

"Oh, Bella," he smiled as I came in. The smile was so innocent, and so warming. It took everything to not burst into tears. And then I did.

"Oh hey, sh," he pulled me into his arms, "Bella what's wrong?"

"You're going to hate me," I mumbled, "I'm so sorry Edward."

"Sh," he rubbed my hair before sitting with me cradled in his lap, "I could never hate you. What's wrong?"

"I can't go tonight," I said, "I can't go and see h-him."

Edward froze, "Mike?"

I nodded, "Don't hate me. I'm sorry. Please, don't hate me."

He released a large sigh, "Of course I don't hate you Bella. I'm just…thinking."

_He's lying, he's going to dump me, _

"I'm not lying," he chuckled, "and I'm not going to dump you."

_I said that out loud? _

"Yes, you did," he brushed at my hair, "Bella, please, just talk to me. A-are you second guessing us?"

"No," I said firmly, "I just… I don't know how I feel about Mike. I want to be with you Edward, believe me, I do. But I loved him."

Edward nodded, "But you love me?"

"I love you more than words can express," I pressed a kiss to his lips before adding another, "I. Love. You."

He kissed me back, brushing his fingers against my neck. I felt his fingers wind through my hair and hold on almost as if he was scared of me leaving. Little did he know that I couldn't leave him. It was physically impossible for me now that I knew he returned my feelings. Edward was mine and there was nothing I would trade for him.

I moved so that I was on his lap properly, able to stare down into his eyes. I could see the insecurity there. It was the insecurity that I had put there and felt cruel for doing so. I used my fingers to trail over his forehead and down his nose. His eyes fluttered closed as below me his appendage awakened. I tried my hardest to be still, wanting my exploration to go uninterrupted. My fingers brushed at his eye lashes, against his cheeks, and longingly at his lips. Did he know how long I had wanted these? How long I'd been waiting to feel his want for me? I reached his neck, my feathery touches then going to his collar bone. I finally reached the plane of his back. I unbuttoned his shirt so I could explore it thoroughly. I wanted to have every millimeter of Edward memorized in my touch. I touched the bare, heated skin at his wings, and stroked the space between the blades. My fingers fell down the valley of his spinal column before making their way around his hips and to the V of his pelvis. Edward's breath was becoming even more unsteady as I trailed my fingers down his waist band, teasing him. I brought my fingers back out and trailed them across the tight, clenched muscles of Edward's stomach. Slowly, tantalizingly, I reached his chest, and rubbed at the pink, fleshy areas set there.

"Bella," he let out in one breath almost as if he had been holding it in this entire time. He moved his hand to between my legs in one movement already beginning to send me into a heat crazed frenzy. I moved his hand back (quite forcefully I might add) and shook my head.

"You're… making me," he spoke incoherently, "crazy."

"Oh Edward," I chuckled, "This isn't even the beginning."

...

"Need a bucket," Leah snickered.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of a bitch," I asked.

"A few times," she shrugged, "Doesn't faze me."

"Doesn't take away from the fact," I whispered.

The limo came to a halt, causing the sick to travel up my throat. I might need to take Leah up on her offer.

"Have I mentioned how stunning you look tonight?" Edward whispered. The low thrum of his voice sent shudders down my spine, reminding me of what we'd done earlier. I glanced down at the simple bronze, satin, ruffled cocktail dress that I'd donned for the occasion. My hair was wisped back into a loose chignon, and my ears were dressed in champagne colored pearls. I hadn't thought I looked that extraordinary, especially compared the bombshells around me. Rosalie was dressed in her signature color, red. Her dress was a form fitting wrap that matched her blood red lips. Alice had worn a canary yellow bubble dress with a floral wrap that made her chest seem more ample than it already was. Then there was Leah who was the devil in Prada. She wore a black, asymmetrical dress that cinched around her waist before flowing to her knees. Bronze plated gladiator flats, which cords wound to her knee accompanied it. I glanced down at myself again, my confidence waning. But the second I looked up at Edward it was fixed. The way he looked at me…I felt beautiful.

"Once or twice," I pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth, not wanting to get my lipstick on his face.

"Are you ready?" he squeezed my hand.

"As ready as a dog getting neutered," I muttered.

Edward's chortle was the last sound I heard before we were absorbed by the crowd.

It's odd how big events always go in slow motion before bombarding you at full speed. It seemed as if every action the reporters around me made was calculated and precise. The cameras aiming, then shooting, then coming closer…and then they would be in front of me as if I had missed five seconds of reality.

So many questions,

_Bella, where were you?  
__Are you still part of the band?  
__What happened between you and Mike Newton?  
__Is it true that you and De Vogue are sworn enemies?  
__Did you cheat on Newton?  
__Is that a new band member?  
__What is your relationship with Edward Cullen?  
__Is it true you're adopting Auden?_

The range of them really had me smiling and just shaking my head. Even if I had wanted to answer I wouldn't have been able to. I felt a hand grasp my wrist as it tugged. I resisted, thinking that it was a ballsy reporter trying to get their fill.

"Bella," the familiar voice whispered, "It's me."

Mike?

_What is your current relationship with Mike?  
__Are you friends?  
__Are you still dating?  
__What was it that caused you to flee so quickly?  
__Who is Billy Black?_

I froze at that one. How would they know about Billy? I was no longer moving. I turned my head searching for Edward, but it seemed as if the throng of reporters had sucked him into their sea of madness as well. The flashes of the bulbs assaulted my eyes, causing a repeated roll of nausea to hit the sides of my stomach. It was so loud my ears felt like they would burst at any moment.

_What are you wearing?  
__Are you staying in Hollywood for good?  
__What is your relationship with Victoria De Vogue?  
__Are you aware that Ms. De Vogue and Mr. Cullen were engaged?_

As if.

"Wait," I murmured softly.

_Bella, _

_Bella, _

_Bella, _

"Hold on," But who was listening? I was trying to be moved to the entrance but to no avail. Even the bodyguards could not separate the bodies.

Then something odd happened. I had the sudden urge to blow my nose. Either that, or there was currently a river of snot flowing down my face. I waited for the onslaught of reporters to comment on my embarrassing excretions when I lifted my fingers to my face. Once I pulled them back I was surprised by what I saw there. It was not snot, but thick, red, blood.

"Shit, Bella," Mike wrapped his arms around my body before diving through the people. Thankfully only a few were knocked down, and a few cleared the way. Somehow we had finally made our way inside. I couldn't even take in my surroundings before I was pulled into a bathroom.

"Crap," I leaned over the sink, spilling the blood from my hands and letting it stain the porcelain. The blood continued.

"Would you sit down?" he hurried me over to the cushioned seating before instructing me to lean forward and pinch my nose. I did as he instructed, but groaned as I felt the blood build. I traveled to the sink, and cleared the passage way. By the amount of blood it looked as if someone had been murdered in here.

The door burst open,

"Damn, it looks like Kruger struck," Alice mentioned as she took in the red sink and my dirtied hands.

Mike showed her his hands, "I agree."

"Woah Bella," she scrunched her nose, "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know," I tried my hardest not to freak out, "One second I was walking and then the next I am spurting like a freaking fountain."

I leaned my head back.

Biggest mistake of my life.

I spluttered on the blood flowing back in my throat.

"Oh God, is she coughing up blood?" Alice shrieked.

"Lean your head forward!" Mike insisted.

"I'm going to go get a doctor," Alice declared as she ran from the ladies room.

"I'm so embarrassed," I moaned.

"Oh come on Bella," Mike rolled his eyes, "even now you still look beautiful; blood on your dress and all."

"You think I look beautiful?" I asked.

"I always do," he looked away shyly, "…how have you been?"

"Sadly not much better than this," I said, "It's been hard."

"For me too," he smiled as he sat down next to me, "you know I miss you right?"

I swallowed, coughing at the taste of blood, "Mike…I..."

"I know you and Edward are together," he gave a small nod, "but that doesn't change the fact that I do. I'm not trying to win you back, even though it feels like I should. But he's what you want right? You're happy at least?"

"He makes me so happy," I confirmed, "You did too."

"I know," he wound his fingers in mine.

"I miss you too," I whispered, "I really did love you Mike."

"It just wasn't enough," Mike said back.

I shook my head, "It just wasn't enough."

"I leave you for two seconds, and you hemorrhage like a freak," Leah grunted as she entered the bathroom. She stopped dead in her tracks as she took in Mike. I glanced at Mike, freezing as I saw him just as in awe with Leah. And the oddest feeling mixed within me. It was a mixture of hope and jealousy. On the one hand, Leah and Mike both deserved someone, and even though they were complete opposites I knew they could fair each other well. But on the other hand…seeing Mike with another woman? How hypocritical was I? Jeez Bella, get a grip.

"Well, Bella," Leah shifted uncomfortably, "aren't you going to introduce me to your friend."

I looked up, "You have got to be kidding me."

Leah glared.

"Michael Newton this is Luyu Clearwater," I smiled at Leah who I had expected to flick me off for the use of her birth Native American name. But instead I saw something I never thought I'd see Leah do.

Ladies and gentlemen, Leah Clearwater just blushed.

"Normal people call me Leah," she smiled at Mike.

"Sane people call me Mike," he responded smoothly.

"And people who care about me help me stop the mass loss of blood I'm undergoing," I motioned to my nose that had slowed down to a slight trickling of blood.

"Alice said she was getting a doctor," Mike said, his attention still thoroughly plastered on Leah.

"I'm the doctor," Leah air quoted. "Took a few courses and crap…I'm the best thing you've got right now."

I groaned.

As Leah gave me the check over and helped clean me up. All the time she held a constant conversation with Mike. Though he was flirting shamelessly with her, Leah seemed uncharacteristically reserved. As Mike excused himself to go find a clean shirt I knew I was going to hound her as soon as he was out of earshot.

I waited a few seconds before assaulting Leah with questions. I was just as bad as the reporters.

"What the hell was that?" I asked her.

"What?" she scowled.

"Normal people call me Leah," I mimicked her voice in a sickening way and flipped my hair girlishly.

"I did not sound like that," her wiping of my face became a little less tender and a lot more…not tender.

"Well you sure didn't sound like how you're sounding now," I scoffed, "you like him."

"No I don't," she said quickly.

"Why are you lying?" I asked her.

"I don't like him," she growled.

"Fine."

I let her get the rest of the blood off of my face before going to wash off my hands and the sink.

As we stood at the mirror washing our hands in silence, I suddenly felt extremely stupid.

"Leah," I said.

"What Bella," she said but there was no hostility in her voice…just exhaustion. I finally got it. Leah was alone. And she was willing to stay that way if it meant that I would be happy.

"I'm ok if you want to go after Mike," I said.

Her gaze snapped up. She was about to protest,

"I do still have feelings for him…but I have Edward. It's not fair to either of you for me to stop that. It wouldn't even be fair to Edward," I smiled, "and if you could see the way he looked at you."

"Really?" her face brightened considerably.

"It was like it was Christmas day for him," I giggled, "he couldn't stop ogling you."

"Was it like 'I wanna do you' ogling, or 'your gorgeous' ogling?" she pressed.

I leaned in whispering, "Both."

She let out a squeal before composing herself, "You really think he likes me?"

"I bet you he'll ask for you to sit next to him during the movie."

"I hope so," she sighed.

Alice reappeared with a new dress for me to wear. It was in a midnight blue color, strapless with a heart neckline and an empire waist. The outfit came with black, caged heels that looked like I would die in.

"I don't know how she does it," Leah snickered.

"I'm very talented," Alice smiled as she applied my new makeup scheme.

We entered just as the crowd was getting their snacks to settle in for the movie. It was quite hilarious actually, watching a room full of celebrities snuggle into bean bags and chairs to watch the movie. I swore I saw the star of the movies themselves, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart making out towards the back. I caught sight of Hayley Williams who gave me a slight wave. Flushed and stuck like the teenage girl I still was, I waved back shyly.

"Hey, where were you," Edward snuck up behind me, "And why'd you change? I couldn't find you in the crowd with that new outfit."

I jumped, "I swear I need an alarm to tell me any time one of you Cullens comes near. I had a little mishap…so I had to change."

"Oh…womanly problems," he guessed.

"Hell, no," I blushed immediately; thankfully Edward couldn't see it since he was leading me towards our seats in the back. "I got a massive nose bleed. You'll probably see it in the tabloids tomorrow morning." I shuddered.

"Are you ok," he inspected me, head to toe, "Why didn't someone find me?"

"I'm fine," I rolled my eyes, "It's ok, Mike helped me out."

Edward stiffened.

"Edward," I sighed, pulling his hand into my lap, "I told you. I'm yours."

He nodded, relaxing slighting in his chair.

The movie started and progressed, introducing us to the many characters and the mystic world of the author Stephenie Meyer. Robert Pattinson played a brooding vampire named Edmund who falls in love with Kristen Steward, a human named Isadora. It sort of crept me out that their names were so close to ours. There was Lillian, the blonde bombshell who was paired with Everest, the burly vampire. And then there was Alicia a miniature but charismatic vampire that was in love with her southern gentleman Jason. I had been playing close attention right until I felt Edward's fingers at my knee. I brushed them off, but unsuccessfully.

"Edward," I hissed. There was no one on our sides but there was a couple in front of us.

"Sh," he murmured.

"We're in a room full of people," I chided him.

The woman in the couple looked back glaring at us before turning back towards the screen.

"I'm pretty sure that was just Kirsten Bell glaring at me," I hit his knee.

"Bella," he whispered in my ear.

The thrum once again awakened the nerves within me. What can I say? The man got to me.

"Yes," my voice was breathy.

"Shut up," he chuckled. He used his free hand to close back up my jaw as his other one traveled dangerously high on my leg.

"I liked the other dress," he said, "But this one is just so damn sexy."

I shuddered, "Mm,"

"Nuh uh," he clucked, "I'm the only one that can make sounds."

I nodded, keeping my eyes fixed on the screen in front of me.

"Those heels are hot too," he murmured. "Keep them. Just for future reference,"

I swallowed heavily right as his fingers reached my most intimate part. I yelped, but covered it over with a cough. A few heads turned in our direction, but Edward remained aloof. He had a stupid grin on his face that I just wanted to wipe off. His fingers continued, teasing and taunting me, making it almost impossible for me to stay still in my seat. I was starting to see stars, and my underwear was getting embarrassingly soiled.

"Edward," I was barely able to whisper as his lips caught mine. In one second he stopped all movements. That was the second my breath stopped.

"Mine," he murmured, tracing his tongue along my ear.

And that's when I lost it for the third time that night.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

~Christie Hart


	32. Chapter 32

You and Me: Chapter 32  
"_Everything She Does is Right"_

I glanced at Bella quickly, even though I really shouldn't be focusing on her. We were about to go on in a few seconds, and I should be zoning myself in…but damn. When I say that Bella looked sexy, I was understating how she looked. And even in the tunnel of lust that I was traveling there was the constant lighting reminding me that I was utterly, and pitifully head over heels in love with her.

It was days before New Year's Eve, and HGS (still up for name change –Emmett wanted to call us the hairy moose –as opposed to a bald moose? –but understandably we all objected) had been invited to perform at the New Year's Bash of 2004. The festivities and merriness of Christmas was still in the air, and in general everyone was just in a good mood. I still had a foolish smile on my face at sharing Christmas morning with the family, and Christmas night with Bella and Auden. Bella had thankfully loved her present of engraved drum sticks as well as a pair of earrings, and Auden nearly flipped out over his game boy, which Bella had looked at me skeptically for. The best present though, would be the one I would give Bella when the clock struck twelve on New Year's Eve.

Speaking of Bella –even though I am always speaking of Bella –have I mentioned how delicious she looks? Her wardrobe, coordinated by Alice, consisted of one tight pair of leather, green pants, a simple jeweled, white tank, and those ridiculously sexy black heels that she had worn at Mike's premier. I couldn't believe I was paying this much attention to her outfit. The only reason I hadn't checked to see if my junk was still there was because after looking at her, I was positive I jizzed in my pants.

"_Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener," _Emmett's obnoxious voice filled my ear piece. There was a reason he stayed behind the drums. That and his incapability to stay still… "_That is what I'd truly like to be." _

"You're not a wiener, but you sure are a dick," I mumbled into my mouth piece, "Would you shut the hell up and cue us in?"

A click sounded the change in feeds. I soon had Bella's voice surrounding my ears, "Edward? Let's hurry this up! I have to pee."

"Why do you always insist on drinking a bottle of water before we go on stage," I hissed, "hold it."

"I can't if Emmett doesn't start and we don't descend from this f-"

As soon as she had finished her sentence we were beginning descend from our platform several feet above the actual stage. Jasper sang along with the beat of Emmett's drumming, beginning our hit single that had been playing for the past few weeks. It had been a quick release, but Max had insisted we needed to get HGS back on the radar. The song was about dropping everything and letting go for a chance. It was an original by Emmett, something we had definitely not anticipated. I mean I didn't know he could think let alone produce a song. I had to give the big guy his props.

And if I were to be quite honest it was probably my favorite song we had produced. I mean, how many times do we over process thoughts, and get so caught up that we forget to breathe? I had been caught up in the whirlwind of Tanya for so long that I'd missed a few years of my life. All it took was Bella to help me settle down and appreciate the family, and the blessings in my life.

"_**I can be whoever the hell I want to be," **_Bella sings, "  
_**Sometimes it takes a stop, to view reality.  
**__**But you're always stuck in motion,  
**__**Feet don't ever grow on roses,  
**__**Why are you surprised that you're not real?**_

And the crowd loves her, lapping up her words and almost giving me competition in the affection department. They love her so much, that Bella is no longer allowed to surf the crowd due to an inappropriate fan at our concert on Christmas Eve. Speaking of which, I've still got my eyes open for him.

I was so consumed in her that I _almost _forgot that I was supposed to back flip off of the amp. I did it a few seconds late (not that the fans would notice) and I knew that Max would give me crap about it later. I was pretty sure I'd been ogling Bella way too much lately. It's like she had reduced me to the horny thirteen year old that I was seven years ago. It didn't seem fair. I _wanted _her. And although she made it seem like she did want me too, I was starting to wonder how much she did. Could she really have this much self control? I promised myself though, that I would take the right measures and wait until both of us were ready. I mean I had rushed it with Tanya, and look how that ended up?

No offense Auden.

The performance ended, and I had to pry a few hands off the leg of my jeans, but that was okay because deep down inside I was enjoying every second of the attention. I didn't think fans noticed how important they were to an artist. Even if we acted all exclusive, and part of a different planet, we really did depend on the audience. They make, or break us.

As soon as we are back stage Bella ran to go to the bathroom like always. Why she had such a small and quick acting bladder I would never know. In the mean time I sat on the couch and shut my eyes, not really wanting to go to the after party that Jessica Simpson was throwing, but appearances must be made. So I tried to achieve the most rest that I could, drowning out the sounds of others around me. Just as I was about to drop off into the realm of nothingness, I heard the most loathsome sound ever;

"_Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, _

_Everyone would be in love with me." _

...

"Would you two kiss already," I groaned, and plucked mistletoe from the doorway above me. I held it above the two's heads as they paused in conversation.

Leah ripped the plant from my fingers and threw it at me. It hit me square in the forehead.

"Edward," Bella hissed, "Leave them alone. They're cute."

"You of all people shouldn't be talking," Emmett said, "I mean you and Bella-"

A loud whack sounded as Rosalie smacked him over the head.

Quite a silence ensued after Emmett's remark. After Mike and Leah became close friends he had been making more of an appearance at family dinners, much to my chagrin. The first few times had been more than awkward. Mike obviously still cared for Bella, maybe not as much, but you could see it in his lingering stares. What was worse was that Bella was the same, sometimes cringing when she saw Leah stroke his arms. But I had to remind myself, that he had been with her first in a time that I had denied her, and Bella couldn't release her feelings for him at the drop of a pin. So I would wait patiently for the two of them to get over their past flame, so long as nothing else transpired between them. I trusted both of them, and I knew that neither of them would betray me or Leah. That didn't mean that there weren't moments like these where it would be painfully awkward.

"So," Bella cleared her throat. "Who's ready for desert?"

Everyone at the table piped up. Like most nights we followed into the kitchen, and held our plates ready while Bella shared out the steaming apple pie. Bella's cooking had been greatly missed upon her departure. I never really noticed how much sitting down to a home cooked meal could serve for family time. I mean my family was close before, but it seemed as if she had brought us even closer. It was times like these that I realized how much I really owed her.

Sitting back in the family room we all conversed amongst ourselves. While others were engaged in deep conversation I let my eyes wander around the room, taking in the interactions of all of us. Emmett was being his stupid self, making wild hand gestures, while Rosalie kept a calming hand on him. Jasper sat back, relaxed, letting his hand rest on the small of Alice's back while she bounced unconsciously, chatting with Leah. Mike and Bella were talking with each other, and although the small green monster was spewing hateful words at me I ignored it. There was nothing there to warrant such petty feelings.

After tucking Auden into bed, and reading him the story of The Ugly Duckling for the fiftieth time I returned to the family room. We continued chatting for a few moments until Mike cleared his throat rather loudly.

"Got something in your throat there Mikey?" Emmett grinned.

Mike rolled his eyes, "Actually Leah and I have got an announcement."

"You're getting married?" Alice asked with excitement.

Leah choked on her food.

"No," Mike shook his head quickly, "that's not it. But she is planning on moving in with me."

The room was silent.

"What, Edward, no cheering?" Leah shot a look my way.

"I could pretend that I've loathed every second of you being here, and I have loathed a few," I admit, "but I kind of have the feeling I'll miss you being here."

"Oh gag me," Leah pretended to be sick.

"And that feeling is now gone," I rolled my eyes.

"Leah, I hope you don't feel like we're kicking you out," Bella said, "you know you're welcome for as long as is necessary. You could live here for all I care."

"Ok," I interrupted Bella's babbling, "I wouldn't go as far as to say that-"

"Well, not live here," Bella blushed, "But you know what I mean."

"Look, as fun as the hormones that are bouncing off the walls here are," Leah began, "I think it's time I wear my welcome out somewhere else. You understand don't you? I'm so thankful though. Even to you…Edward," she coughed my name out, "That was so much harder than I thought it was going to be."

I glare at her, "I can help you move out if you want to move out tomorrow. Or tonight, whichever gets you away quicker-"

I received a punch to my arm, "She can take as long as she needs."

"I'm actually going to take you up on that offer Cullen," Leah said, "Mike was going to come over tomorrow."

"So soon," Bella's eyes widened.

"I know you don't want to be in a house alone with Edward, but Auden will protect you," she snickered, "Yah, I wanted to start the new year in my new home."

"Well if it's what you both really want," Bella said.

Mike smiled, "It is."

"Right, who's ready for some caroling!" Emmett jumped off his seat on the ground. He had been banned from sitting on my couches after an incident with grape juice. Stupid Emmett, and his inability to not screw everything up.

"Emmett, dear, it's three am and Christmas was three days ago," Rosalie patted his hand, "no more caroling."

"But,"

Rosalie's expression turned to one that was deadly, "No more caroling."

Emmett shut up.

"I think this is our cue to leave," Jasper spoke, "Alice has been taping her eyes up for the past twenty minutes. No matter how much she denies it."

"I'm not tired," the little fairy mumbled from her spot under the covers.

"Come on Tinkerbelle," Jasper threw his wife over his shoulder before picking up her purse and strutting to the door, "Goodbye, everyone!"

"Jasper!" we heard my younger sister whine as the door shuts. I didn't even get a chance to tell him to leave my blanket behind.

"Rosie if we leave now can we still knock bumpers under the sheets," Emmett wiggles his eyes suggestively.

"Alright you big meat head, but I call the fuzzy earmuffs this time," she rolls her eyes, pulling Emmett behind her as she leaves. I shudder, not wanting to even imagine what it was they were planning on doing. I wished my brother wasn't so verbal about his sex life.

I glanced at Mike pointedly.

"Fine, fine," he laughs as he picks up his coat, "would you mind walking me out Leah?"

"You don't have to leave," Leah shoots daggers at me.

"I have to get some sleep for work tomorrow anyways," he squeezes her hand.

"Ok," Leah pouts.

No really.

Leah pouted.

As they walk out I toss something to Leah. With a small smile she tucks the mistletoe in her pocket, and sticks her tongue out at me.

Bella and I retreat to our bed (she now sleeps with me, but won't _sleep _with me) a few minutes later after getting the kitchen and dining room cleaned up. With the lights turned off, I stared at her unabashedly, taking in as much as I could with the absence of the light. The shadows cast by the moon did nothing to dampen the natural beauty that she possessed. Quite the contrary though. The highlights of the moon's light enhanced her finer points, defining her lips, her cheek bones, and her hauntingly deep eyes.

"Have I ever told you that you are beautiful," I whispered to her.

"Only every day," she whispered back, "you make me feel beautiful."

"I want to make you feel even more beautiful." I ran my fingers over the curve of her side. I could happily say that I was addicted to Bella, and I wasn't going to seek rehab at any time.

"Edward," she sighed, scraping her fingers against my bare stomach, "We can't."

"Why not," I groaned.

"I need to do something first," she said softly. Suddenly she is sitting up in bed, turning on the bedside lamp.

I covered my head with a pillow, but it was pulled off immediately.

"Edward, I'm serious," Bella said, "I need to go back to Forks."

_What?_

"What," I sat up along with her, "Why? I just got you back-"

"Hear me out," she held up her hands in defense, "just one more time. I need to say goodbye to them. I'll be back by New Years Eve, I promise."

And I knew that if I had asked her she wouldn't leave me, but I could never do that to her. I really had no reason to. If there was one it would be awfully selfish. After all she would be coming back, and it was something she needed to do. Who was I to deprive her of it?

"When are you leaving," I asked her, already dreading the day.

"Tomorrow," she took my hand in hers, "I'll be staying with Seth. I'll be back before you know it."

"As long as you don't miss the countdown," I told her.

"I promise," she kissed my forehead, "I won't miss the countdown."

...

I sat watching the clock at the same time while coloring with Auden. I was just getting to the end of coloring the Little Mermaid's bra when he let out a long sigh.

"What's the matter bud," I pinched his cheek, "I thought you liked coloring the Little Mermaid?"

Although this had been new to me –and had also scared me a bit –I had learned to accept the fact that Auden had no interest in coloring comics. He had taken a great liking to coloring the Disney Princesses though. I tried not to assume how he would turn out in the future.

Auden lets out another heavy sigh.

"What's wrong?" I tried again.

"I miss Bell," he placed his head on his fist with the most pure devastation on his face. I sure hoped he looked this way when I was gone from him.

"Don't worry," I pulled him up from his seat, struggling to get him on my lap. Ever since Bella had come into our lives Auden had gained quite a bit of weight, "she'll be back today."

"I know," he sighed again, "I miss her."

"I do too, kid," I fluffed the top of his head, "I miss her too."

And I was being completely honest. The last two days had been miserable without Bella. I mean today was miserable, but at least I had the hope of her coming back tonight. The only upside of the past few days was that I was able to spend some valuable one-on-one time with Auden. But I could do this regardless of Bella being here or not. That was one of the things I loved about her. She knew when Auden and I needed father-son time, and she was never one to intrude.

I tried numerous ways to occupy myself but nothing seemed to work. After all there are only so many times you can watch Bob the Builder and play Lion King. I had already gone through three books, called both my mother and father and sorted out my bedroom drawers. There were too many hours in the day without her here and when she was there were too little. What was wrong with me?

At the same time I was willing the day to go a little longer. The sun was going down quickly and time was passing and Bella was still not home. There was the gnawing tickling in my stomach that she might not make it home in time for the countdown. And I'd arranged for Auden to spend the night by Leah's already. Bella had been right to say that Leah was great with children. A people person she was not, but she had something going in the little persons department. I had wanted to spend the New Year's with Auden, but it would also be my first one with Bella.

By ten o'clock I was home alone. Any minute now Bella would come through that door and we'd talk about her trip. She hug me, kiss me, tell me she loved me, and she'd let me surprise her with her present. She'd tell me she hates surprises, laugh, and after a bit of convincing finally accept it. And I would watch as her face lights up seeing what would be inside of the box.

Eleven o'clock. The liquor in the cabinet was beginning to seem more and more appealing. Deep inside, a piece of me knew that I would be alone when the clock struck twelve, but a part of me next to that piece was telling it the shut up and not expect the worse.

Eleven forty-five. I put the box back into my closet. I was just about to put everything back inside when I heard the door open.

**Bella's Point of View **

To say that the situation was awkward was a bit of an understatement. The situation was unbearable.

Seth had greeted me with open arms when I reached his apartment in Forks, that hadn't been the problem. The problem was that he had forgotten to ask his fiancée if I could stay.

"Seth," she called from the kitchen before walking out in nothing but a t-shirt, "Who's at the –Bella?"

"Hey Jenny," I said, "I know we've never actually met before, but thank you for allowing me into your home."

"Seth," she turned to him.

Seth looked to the ground quickly, "Hey Jens, I told Bella it was alright if she wanted to spend the night here. Is that ok?"

"No it's not ok," Jenny placed a hand on her hip.

"Oh," my cheeks burned, "I can go-"

"No, you're fine Bella," she pulled me inside, "Seth isn't. Ugh, I look like –please excuse me."

As Jenny left the room I gave Seth a shove.

"Hey!"

"You didn't tell your _fiancée _that I was coming to stay in your home," I pushed him again, "Idiot!"

"I didn't remember," he put his hands up in defense, "No offense."

"Don't tell me that, tell Jenny," I sighed, "Look, just let me borrow a phone so I can call in to James. I'm sure he has a free couch."

"No," Jenny appeared from out of the hallway clad in jeans and a t-shirt, "You're staying here, no fuss. I'm sorry I snapped, you just caught me at the wrong time."

"Really, if it's a problem," I began.

"No fuss," she hushed me, "Seth, go put her bags in the spare room, and Bella you can come help me with dinner. I heard that you are a star chef."

Thankfully the night continued without incident. Around ten I called to Edward. I laughed at his whiny voice, even though I felt the way he sounded. He complained about having nothing to do, and that even Auden was getting annoyed with the amount of attention that he was giving him. After endless 'I love you'(s) and 'miss you'(s) I convinced him that he needed to get off the phone sometime. With a bit more grumbling, he relented.

The next day I woke up, and drove to _Swans. _I enjoyed a nice breakfast there, conversing and laughing with Nessie and Angela. James had even managed to come out of his hole for some time and ask me how things were going. I knew somewhere inside he cared for me. That or he pitied me.

I spent the good weather in the park near the graveyard, never venturing inside but always glancing at what was yet to come. I knew that I couldn't stall much longer, it was nearing dinner time and I'd promised Jenny I was going to cook for her and Seth. It was the least I could do after I'd been invited into their home.

Finally I went to the iron, wrought gates and eased them open. The groan they made was like the testimony of the bodies lying beneath the earth behind them. I knew exactly where to go, but I took the time to walk down the rows, biding my time.

Then I reached my destination, and the weirdest thing happened. The beaded bracelet that hung on my wrist snapped. You know what was weirder?

I smiled.

And it was as if that was the conclusion to all my tension. I sat in the middle of Charlie, and Renee's graves, and began speaking. I told them about how terribly I'd handled their deaths, and how I'd been less than a person for so many months. I told them about how I had tried to take my life, but how God had sent somebody to stop me. I told them about Edward, how perfectly flawed he was, but how beautiful he was. I told Charlie that he loved me, and that even though he would have take out his shotgun upon first impression, he would have surely warmed up to him. I told Renee about Auden, and how she would love to have a grandson as loving and adorable as him. I told her how much I wanted to be a mother to him, but I would wait until Edward, Auden, and I were all ready for that step. I laughed with them about Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie, and all of their antics. I told them about Billy, and Jacob, but then remembered how they would be up there with Renee and Charlie therefore I didn't need to explain their deaths. I shared how I had loved and lost, and gained. How Leah and I had started over and gotten our shot at a second life. I told them how much I loved them still,

"And I miss you," I said, "I always will. But Mom, Dad, I'm going to start living now. I can't live in the grief anymore. Besides, you must hate seeing me so sad. This won't be goodbye though okay? I promise."

I pressed kisses to both of their sun warmed headstones before placing a kiss to the broken, beaded string in my hand. With my fingers I cleared a small hole in between the two graves and dropped the string in before covering it back over.

"See you soon," I said to them, and made my way out of the graveyard.

And as the leaves around me blew, I glanced at the blue sky, the yellow sun, and the brown earth beneath me with is patches of green, and thought that the bracelet couldn't be in a better place.

...

I've come to the conclusion that the world must hate me. God doesn't. But the world certainly does because I came here on time, _perfectly, _on time, only for my flight to be delayed three hours And I didn't know this until I was already at the airport for my three o'clock pm boarding call time.

I reached for my phone in my side pocket only to realize that it wasn't there. After a few more frantic moments of searching through my purse and carry-on I let out a loud groan. I knew that man had looked too happy after he bumped into me.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but there are absolutely no flights I could possibly get you on," the man at the front desk apologized, "It's New Year's Eve."

"I know," I groaned, "That's the point! I _have _to get home. I'll do anything! I'll even flash my bra for you just please, please, please, get me on a flight now."

"I can't," the young man looks sheepish, "but, um…would you mind, signing this?"

I wanted to yell at him that I definitely minded, but I had to tell myself that this wasn't personal. It's not as if he had set out to make today hell.

I sigh, "Sure. Who would you like me to make it out to?"

"To Alejandra Roberta Francesca Rivera Martinez Gonzalez," he begins, "one of my adored fans. Hope you have a great New Years, and that your 2005 is as fabulous as mine will be. Keep being a rock star, and let your talent shine. Love –make sure it's in capitals please –Love Anne."

"Anne?" I gawked.

"You're not Anne Hathaway," he asked. I felt my face heat up with both anger and embarrassment.

I slammed my passport on the table, "_Does this look like Anne Hathaway to you?" _

A security officer nearby tugs on my hand, "I think you need to go find a seat Missus."

"A seat! A seat?" I yelled, "You want me to find a seat?"

"It was my fault," the man at the check in counter said, "I upset Anne."

"I am Bella," I screamed.

And that's how I ended up with security supervision until it was time for me to board my flight three hours later. By the time I was in my seat in economy (I insisted to Edward that I flew economy all my life I could fly it again) I already took half of a Xanax to get myself knocked out for the five hour flight.

"Excuse me miss," the old man beside me tapped on my leg just as I was about to drift off into a pill induced sleep.

"Yes, sir," I tried not to sound like a bitch. I wasn't sure if I achieve this though.

"Can you please get up, I need to go to the bathroom," he asked. And I complied with a smile because really, who can deny an old man something?

And then, thirty minutes into the flight, he was tapping my knee again, asking the same thing. And I got up because he needed to pee and that wasn't something I could complain about.

The third time was when I tried to reach a solution,

"Sir, how about you and I switch places so that you can leave to the bathroom without having to go through the trouble of _disturbing _me," I said as politely as I could.

"No it's alright, I don't mind," he smiled.

"But you see, I am very tired," and drugged. Don't forget drugged. "And I can't really sleep with you tapping me."

"I don't like the aisle seats," he complained, "too many people walking in the aisles."

"Would your wife mind switching then," I asked him.

"Well we don't want to wake her up do we?" he said, "I would hate to disturb her."

FML.

Five hours and several potty taps later my foul mood dropped to an even fouler mood. It took me thirty minutes to get through customs, and twenty more just to get to my car. By the time I pulled up to the only McDonald's on our block to lift my spirits with a McFlurry it was one o'clock. I didn't even want to think what Edward must be thinking of me right now.

I pulled up to the drive through, and ordered.

"Hello, welcome to McDonald's may I take your order?"

I sighed, "Can I please have one chocolate McFlurry?"

"I'm sorry ma'am," the person says, "but our machines have been giving us problems. We currently aren't able to make any McFlurries."

"What?" I squeaked.

"I said, 'We can't make any McFlurries-"

And I didn't hear what she said next because suddenly I was drowned in a fit of tears.

"Ma'am," the person said, "Ma'am."

"Why do you hate me," I bawled.

"Ma'am, there are forty five other things on the menu, I'm sure you can find something else," the woman sighed, "Don't take it personally."

"No, I don't want the forty-five other things," I cried, "I'm going home."

My tears didn't slow on the ride home, rather they were still present as I rattled my way into the house. The fact that all the lights were off had me crying that much harder.

"Bella," I heard Edward groan as he shuffled into the main hallway. He rubbed at his eyes confusedly as he shut the door behind me and flicked on the light, "Are you crying?"

"Oh Edward," I threw down my suitcase, and threw my arms around him, "I've had such a horrible day! First I squirted an orange in my eye because Jenny doesn't believe in orange juice from cartons so I had to make it myself, and then I was rushing because I wanted to make it to the airport on time. And I did make it on time but _they _weren't on time because the flight was delayed for three hours. I wanted to call you, but some guy took my phone when he bumped into me but I didn't know he stole it because he was being so nice about it. And I tried my hardest to change the flights at the counter, but then there as this man who wouldn't let me show my bra to him, and then he called me Anne Hathaway, and I got all psycho, and they gave me security supervision who was so mean to me because he didn't even let me go to the bathroom without having someone stand outside my stall. And then I drugged myself, but I couldn't even go to sleep because the stupid old man next to me had to pee and he refused to let me sleep. And then-then, the McFlurries died."

All I could feel was Edward's chuckle as he threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the room. Once we were inside he set me on the bed, and removed my boots for me, rubbing the soles of my feet in small little motions. Afterwards he removed my hair from its tight bun, and massaged my scalp, easing away all the tension of the night that had been stored there.

"Edward," I sniffled. I imagined I looked like a stuffed pig with the way I had been crying and carrying on. "Aren't you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" he asked.

"I missed the countdown," I almost began crying again, "I promised you, and you were left all alone."

"I mean I'm upset that we didn't get to spend it together," he shrugged, "but that wasn't your fault. And I wasn't alone. Alice and Jasper came over since they wanted me to have company. Plus, you're here now. Isn't that what counts?"

I nodded, pulling his lips to mine, "You make me feel like a horrible person, you're so perfect."

"I thought you said I make you feel beautiful," he smiled against my lips.

I pressed a few kisses to his mouth, his chin, his cheek, and then finally whispered into his ear,

"Then make me feel beautiful."

Edward stroked the sides of my face, leaning in and pressing a kiss to both of my eyes, and cheeks. He moved his fingers from my neck to my lips, parting them and tracing them. Gently, he kissed my nose, then my freckles, then my ears.

"You are already too beautiful," he whispered.

Slowly he kissed me, and once again I was drawn into the whirlwind that was Edward. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, letting it dance with my own. Edward settled between my legs comfortably. I loved the way our bodies seemed to align perfectly; every one of his curves were curving into my curves. With my feet digging into the dimples of his back, I urged him to move closer.

I could feel Edward's chuckle against my lips,

"What," I breathed.

"Your socks are still on," he pulled my lips between his.

"I don't see how that is funny," I battled to regain grounds.

"It's just cute," he shrugs, pinching my pinky toe.

"Ew," I groaned, "don't say that word."

"Why," he peppered kisses across the plain of my nose, "Cute? You are cute."

"Cute is for little girls," I rolled us over so that I was now the dominating one, "I am not a little girl."

I nipped and kissed at his neck, knowing I was creating purplish bruises on his skin. His body squirmed beneath me seeking friction. Our slow tango of kisses was staring to become a fast dance of bites and lust. His hands attached to my hips and we fell into synch, moving and writhing with need. My breath left me in a quick gust of hot air while his lips worked harder against mine, biting and sucking.

And they say girls can multitask.

"This needs to go," I lifted the light cotton shirt from his torso and threw it behind me.

"So does yours," he ripped open the button up shirt I was wearing. I laughed as the buttons rolled off the bed and bounced against the floor. My bra followed the shirt shortly after. He lowered his chest to mine, and even though I had been almost completely naked with Edward before, somehow, because I knew what was coming up, this seemed all the better. I wrapped my arms around him and stilled him from moving.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I just lay there and pressed my ear to his bare chest, hearing the steady bump of his heart.

"My heart is yours," I tell him. "I know I'm only eighteen, and I'm not supposed to be rational. But this is something I'm sure about. I don't think I've ever been surer about something in my life. It's all yours Edward. I'm all yours."

"You've had mine since the day I met you, as cliché as that sounds," he rubbed his thumb across my lips, "Do you know I looked for you?"

"What," I sat up.

"After we left the church," he passed his hands through his hair, "I know it sounds kind of stalker like, but I searched for your picture in the year book. But I couldn't find you."

"I came when you would have left," I tell him, "and I avoided all the picture days."

"That would explain it," he shook his head, "But the point is that I knew you'd be an important part in my life. I didn't know that I'd end up loving you."

We share a lingering kiss.

"Edward," I mumbled against his lips, "Take me."

"Where," he said detachedly.

I chuckled, "No, _take _me."

"Oh," he realized, "My pleasure.

The next thing I knew I was flipped over, now on my back. With no more time to lose, or to stall, Edward slipped off my pants. No more foreplay was necessary, we had weeks of foreplay. Now it was time to get my fill, and I was very impatient for it. Skillfully, I slipped his boxers off with my still socked feet.

"Are we going to make love with your socks on," Edward grinned.

"We're not going to be making anything if you keep mentioning my socks," I cheeked.

"Alright," he groaned, "I won't mention your cute socks again."

He pressed a soft kiss to heart as he entered slowly, agonizingly. It was not agonizing in the sense that it was painful because I had long passed that stage of my life. It was agonizing because I was aching, waiting for Edward to fully be with me. My body quivered with pleasure as well as expectation. Then came the moment when he could no longer move. Our breathing stopped as we took in the feeling of finally being attached in the most intimate way. I swore I would lose it in that second.

The rocking was slow at first, steady and building. Although Edward's hands were fisted in the sheet above, I couldn't remove mine from his body. Whether it was his chest, or his shoulders, or his back, my fingers were glued to him.

And the only sound was the movement of our skin, and my embarrassing mewling. Seriously, I was sounding kind of like horse that was getting beaten or something. I wouldn't be so self conscious about it if Edward was making some noise as well. Instead, he was completely silent, his face stone set in what looked like concentration. The only sound that he made if he made one was a small release of breath when I did anything to provoke his pleasure.

Then came the familiar hot burn of tension in my lower stomach. I let out deep breaths, and moans, trying to keep away the coming overtake of emotion.

_Just a little longer, _I tell myself, _please, don't finish before me. _

He attaches his lips to mine, stealing my breath as he breathes in. And I can feel my body shaking, about to let go in the purest, most beautiful forms of pressure.

"Edward," I murmured, barely coherent.

He hummed in response, his eyes shut tightly.

"I don't…want…to do this…alone," I was able to say.

I saw him nod, "Together."

We moved over, and over, and wonderfully over again. What we were making was better than any song made, played, or sung. I was the harmony to his melody, and we were a symphony that not even Beethoven or Vivaldi could have achieved. Then, as Edward's body went rigid, he wrapped his fingers through mine, and hovered his lips above mine.

"Bella," was all he said.

And that was all we needed to fall.

...

It was amazing how easy it was to watch someone as they slept. In that moment they were so vulnerable and unaware that you could really just remove their life from them in one cruel swoop.

Not that I was thinking about that while I was staring at Edward.

His eyes were no longer clenched as they had been when he had been inside of me. They were now laying peacefully, his long, lush eyelashes brushing against the apples of his cheeks.

How unfair was it that Edward had better eyelashes than me?

But, by God, he was beautiful.

After our tiring, but of course worthy act we had both entered a blissful, naked sleep. I could feel the contours of him against my back, hot and welcoming. I turned over, never fully satisfied with how much of him I could get. There never seemed to be too much of Edward. I was always left wanting more.

Admiring him, I pressed a kiss to his forehead, his nose, his cheeks…his mouth. And then his mouth again because it was just so plush and I really was addicted.

I sounded like a pansy in obsessive love.

Nevertheless, I found myself not caring and pressing multiple kisses to his mouth, taking advantage of his stillness. Although I really wished he would wake up for round two. I moved my leg to the other side of him, straddling him.

Nothing.

"Oh, Edward," I whispered in his ears, "Edward…Wake up."

He mumbled, trying to roll over, but being stopped efficiently by my weight. I trailed my tongue down his Adam's apple. He hummed, his eyes fluttering open.

"Bella," he yawns before shooting up, "Whoa. I like where this is going."

I giggled, trailing my hands down his chest suggestively, "So do I."

He jumped as my hands slid under the blankets to grab him, "Wait!"

I pulled my hands back in surprise, "What? Did I hurt you?"

"No," he rolled his eyes, "I have something for you."

Without warning he jumped out of the bed, and raced to the closet. I checked out the view as he reached for a shoe box. Quickly, he removed the top of the box, and turned his body so that he could shield what it was that he held. After standing up, he slowly walked backwards to the bed, lowered himself, and the shuffled under the sheets.

Since when did I start analyzing Edward's every move?

"Bella," he caught my attention, "I want to start this year off the right way. I made so many screw ups last year, said so many things I didn't mean to say, and made the biggest mistake of my life by not admitting I love you sooner. So I'm not going to mess this one up. I want this next year just to be about appreciation, and just really living in the fact that we have each other."

Swiftly he pulled a velvet box from behind him. In that moment, two things happened simultaneously.

For one, time stopped, I'm sure of it. No longer could I hear the ticking of the second hand of the clock that hung on the wall above the door. The only sound was of my blood rushing to my ears, leaving my heart with a loud, deflated pump.

The second thing that happened was that the most awful feeling of indecision overwhelmed me. Deep down inside I knew that I wasn't near ready for marriage. I loved Edward with every fiber of my being, and I knew that I would spend my life with him –wedding band or not –but I couldn't do it. Not when I was only eighteen. Though how was I to tell him this? I knew he would love me regardless, but how do you reject someone so wonderful?

And then he opened it, and I couldn't talk. The ring was silver with a pearl implanted in the middle. Silver hands positioned on the sides of the heart shaped pearl holding the precious item as if they were protecting it with their being. Above the heart sat a crown with small pearl embellishments. It was the most beautiful Claddagh ring I had ever seen.

"Edward," the tears poured from my cheeks.

"Do you like it," he asked.

I shake my head. As the happy expression on his face falls, I realize that he mistook my answer. Or rather, I delivered it horribly.

"No," I shake my head again, "I love it. I just, I can't-"

"What is it," he takes my hand; "you can tell me anything."

"I can't," I sigh, "I can't marry you Edward."

Edward lets out a deep laugh, strong, and gusty. The sound is so surprising it causes me to jump.

"What's so funny," I asked, completely confused.

"Bella," he gives me a brief kiss, "I wasn't asking you to marry me."

"You, you weren't," I sniffled, "so what is the ring for?"

"A promise ring," he smiled, "It's a promise that I'll be there for you. And that hopefully, you'll stay here for me?"

A smile lit my face, "Of course, Edward."

He removed the ring and slipped it on my right ring finger, pressing a kiss to my fingers after it was in place. And as Edward laid down with me to return into a sleep, I let my mind wander to anywhere it wanted to go. So many things had changed in my life that the list could continue forever if I tried to complete it. A few months ago, I had wanted life and time to speed by just so that I could end it that much sooner. I was the shell of who I had been, and wanted to be, not knowing what day, or what month I was even in. I had lost touch with time, minutes blending into hours and hours blending into days. It all seemed so dead to me; dead like the people I mourned for. And then I was blessed with a second chance. I was sent an angel to remind me that things can turn around. Imagine if I had gone through with my plans on that church roof how different things would be. Now I'm in full motion, traveling along with the fast movement of time, still not caring what day, or what month it is. Only now, this clock never seemed so alive.

The End.

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Thank you so much for sticking with me! I hoped you enjoyed the story. Stay tuned for the epilogue:

~Christie Hart


	33. Epilogue

Well here it is, the epilogue that I've put off for about a year. I'm sure you guys have taken me off your alerts by now, so I'm sorry about that. However this isn't the last you'll hear of me, I have some stories coming on the way. So here it is, the last installment of "You and Me." Until then, my duckies.

* * *

Epilogue:  
"_And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you"_

I looked over to the boy sitting next to me, the one that was transforming into a man. His once strawberry blonde curls had straightened out into the same disheveled locks as his father's, however almost everything else about his features resembled his deceased mother. I knew he hated it when I stared at him, but I couldn't help it. Where had my little boy gone?

"Mom, stop it," Auden whined, "You're creeping me out."

"Well, no one told you to be so cute," I smiled.

"_Stop,_" he growled.

"Oh honey, that tone never works for your dad," I said, "and it sure as hell doesn't work for you."

His cheeks bright red, he returned to the ice cream he'd been working at. It didn't hurt my feelings that he was embarrassed of my affections –hell, I supposed all twelve year olds were that way. What bothered me was that he'd been like this for the past few weeks. Edward had told me that he was jealous, what with my pregnancy, but I found it hard to believe that Auden would feel that way. Did he think he had competition with the baby on the way?

"Peanut, you know you can talk to me about anything right," I asked him.

"Yah, I know," he sighed, "just…don't call me that in public."

"Why, are you afraid your _girlfriend _might hear," I teased.

"You are so annoying," he grumbled.

"And you are just like your father," I noted, "Speaking of which, he and I have an interview to go to once he comes back from the airport, so we need to head out."

Auden looked disappointed as he got up, and threw his ice cream into the trash violently. If one thing hadn't changed about him it was the fact that when he was upset anyone could tell. He was unable to hide any of the emotions, and wasn't shy about expressing them with a bit of colorful language. And to think we were worried about his vocabulary…

I blamed it on Edward.

Nevertheless, it still hurt me that he was acting so hostile towards me. Normally when I bothered him he would make a few sly comments about how I needed to get a life, or at least get a hobby that didn't involve molesting him. So imagine my surprise when he stormed off. I waddled after him, my large belly making it extremely difficult for me to keep up. Eventually I reached where he was sitting on the park bench, green eyes blocked by his shut lids. I poked his side, which elicited a grunt. Knowing that he was seriously upset, I let up on the annoyance.

"Auden," I picked up his hand, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he sighed.

"Don't give me that crap," I nudged him again. Okay…so maybe he got it from me too.

"It's nothing mom, just forget it," he begun to get up. I yanked him back, forcing him to sit down.

"Come over here, peanut," I sighed, pulling him into my arms. He was now much too big to fit onto my lap, especially with the added space of my stomach, but there were still times when Auden would lie down with me, and rest his head against my chest. In this moment he put his head to my shoulder, allowing me to run my fingers through his frayed locks. While I did this his hand laid on my rounded stomach, the baby responding to the contact. I could feel the thump of her feet, loving the attention from her brother.

"What're you going to name her," he asked.

"Theodora," I answered.

Auden picked up his head to give me a disgusted look, "Mom. No."

I gave a laugh, my belly jiggling with the motion, "I'm just kidding. Your dad came up with that one. Since he's completely inept at picking names I was actually hoping you would help me."

His eyes widened, "I can help name her?"

"Well she is going to be your sister," I rolled my eyes.

"Is that…" Auden started, "Is that what I'm supposed to call her?"

"Your sister," I raised a brow, "What else would you call her?"

"I dunno," he shook his head, "I'm just so confused."

"About what, darling?"

The conflict was evident on his face, and I was more confused than he was as to what put it there. Auden and I have always been so close. It was to the point that Edward joked that I was more his best-friend than a mother. I then reminded him that at least I didn't let Auden get away with everything.

Edward had been pleasantly silent after that.

But needless to say, we shared everything with one another from the finest points of our day to the embarrassing occurrences of the week. (You would have sworn my clumsiness rubbed off on him somehow.) So now when Auden was withholding from me, I could feel the stress pooling in my chest. It's not as if we've never had our put outs before, but we were always sure to talk about it.

"Are you," he started, "Are you going to love her more than me?"

My breath caught in my throat, causing my eyes to water. I could blame the sudden tears on the pregnancy hormones, but I knew that it was only because of his question. Edward and I had always been as honest as we could with Auden about his birth mother and my adopting him. I had signed the papers shortly after our marriage two years ago seeing as I already served as the mother role to him. Auden has always been accepting and understanding, handling it as well as someone his age could. His maturity still astounded me, and I sometimes had to remind myself that there was information he didn't need to know. Then again, withholding information while we remained in the limelight was hard to do, but Edward and I always tried our best to keep Auden out of the paparazzi. Granted that couldn't stop him from reading the tabloid. It was something that Edward forbade Auden to do, but I knew that sometimes Auden would sneak a few, or press his schoolmates for answers. It pained me that he had to ask others for information on his own parents, but there were aspects of our Hollywood life that an eleven year old boy didn't need to worry about. He was already worrying about different things –like whether I would love him after the baby was born.

"Auden," I said, "Do you remember when you asked to start calling me mom?"

He shook his head, slightly confused by my change in topic. "No."

"Well, at that time your dad and I weren't together," I said, "and so it wasn't right for you to call me mom. I told you that, and you were so upset, that you smacked me in the face with your book."

Auden's mouth popped open, "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious," I nodded, "and you ran to your room and threw your piggy bank at the door after you'd locked it. I had to break in."

"Huh," Auden smiled, "I was a pretty bad ass kid."

"Don't let your Aunt Rose hear you talk like that," I warned, "Anyways, you were so upset, but I ended up telling you that I could only be your best-friend."

"That was before you went on that vacation?" he asked.

"Yah," I nodded, trying to hide the bitterness in my tone, "but do you know what happened, Auden? When I was cleaning up your stupid mess, and you were fast asleep, I was crying."

"Why," Auden's eyes widened even further.

"Careful kid, they might just pop out," I teased.

"Why were you crying mom," he pressed.

"Because," I sighed, "I loved you so much, and I wanted more than anything to be a mother to you."

"Really," he smiled.

"Really, really," I squeezed him lovingly, "So don't you ever think that anything, or anyone is going to change that. This is your sister coming on the way, and regardless of whether I gave birth to you, or Tanya gave birth to you, I will love you both equally. There's enough to go around."

I watched as relief spread across his face at my reassurance. Although I was still bothered that he'd even had the slightest notion I would forget him, it still calmed me to know that he felt better. Auden was my little boy, and I wanted him to know that he always would be no matter what changed. I stroked my fingers through his locks while we watched the clouds drift by.

"Hey mom," he said.

"What peanut," I replied.

"Even after the baby is born, can we still do this," he asked.

"Did someone tell you it's a crime eat ice cream after a pregnancy," I questioned.

"No," he rolled his eyes. I knew I shouldn't mess with him so much, but he made it so fun. "I mean, can we go out together…just the two of us?"

"Well, I don't know," I placed my hand to my chin, "Won't we hurt dad's feelings?"

Auden laughed, "He'll get over it."

"That's my boy," I chuckled before adding, "And of course we can keep getting ice cream."

A wide smile spread across his face as he pressed a kiss to my cheek, and settled his head on my shoulder. I leaned my head back and absorbed the California sun, while also keeping my tears at bay. I had cried many tears in my life; a lot of them out of sadness and a lot of them out of frustration. But once in a while there came a glorious time when the tears would be shed out of pure joy and contentedness. This was one of those moments. I let the crystal droplets streak down my face, as I held Auden in my arms.

"Just you and me," Auden made sure.

"Yah peanut," I pressed a kiss to his forehead, "You and me."

* * *

~Christie Hart


End file.
